First
by norrific
Summary: The moment where things changed between Jax and Tara
1. Chapter 1

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: I know there are a few teenage Jax and Tara stories out now-all of which were recently updated and I'm reading and loving. But this popped into my mind and I just couldn't make it go away. Hope everyone who reads it enjoys it.**

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><p>She was with Hale first. Well, not really <em>with<em> Hale, just sort of with him. Hale told everyone they were an item. Tara didn't tell anyone shit. Jax didn't know what the story was. Only that Tara Knowles had gone out with David Hale several times before they waltz into Opie's New Year's Eve party hand in hand. The first time they'd gone out was homecoming, Jax knew this because he'd been hanging with Tara at her locker when Hale asked her to go with him. They even arrived at the after party out in Oswald's woods together.

Jax never got them, never understood what Tara could see in a dick like Hale. She wasn't the cheerleader type, other than Hale she didn't hang with the jocks. During pep rallies she walked right out the school with him and Opie. Jax would offer to let her hang with them but she'd only laugh and walk off in the opposite direction.

She was brainy, but not in a way he understood. She wasn't one of the students who sat upfront, she didn't remind the teacher when an assignment was due or that homework haven't been given. She didn't brag about her grades. But he'd glanced over at her enough when assignments or test were handed back to know she'd fucked up the curve more than once for the rest of them. She didn't even throw her grades in the faces of the kids who assumed having a drunk for a father made her an idiot. But she was quick to snatch a bitch up and make them regret ever opening their mouth.

She wasn't a stoner, but she ducked away from Hale at the homecoming after party to get high. Jax had always found it sexy to watch a girl smoke a joint, Tara especially so. But that night she surpassed every other girl.

Jax had walked up to her, standing so that his breath could flutter across her neck. He held his mouth close to her ear. The plan had been to talk her into leaving the party with him and with any luck talk her into his lap. The smirk that had all the other girls falling at his feet was on his lips when he asked for a hit of the joint she held. Tara brought one hand up behind her, cupping his cheek to pull his face close to hers. Jax's mouth fell open in anticipation for a kiss that never came. Instead she exhaled all her smoke into his mouth. From that moment on he'd gone from being interested in Tara Knowles to practically obsessed with her.

Now here he was at his best friend's party, a blonde standing intimately between his legs and his eyes trained on the door. There was a party at the clubhouse, a wild one where he'd have no doubt gotten laid. But he'd been trying to get closer to Tara for awhile now. And while their friendship actually continued to grow, he was no closer to filling his hands with her incredible ass.

So he talked Opie into throwing this party. Because there was no way in hell he was going to subject Tara to a SAMCRO party, at least not before they were together. He and Opie had gone to Eglee's the old fashioned candy shop where Tara worked. Jax had actually been spending a whole lot of time at that damn store, for all the good it was doing him. He made the invite casual, as if it wouldn't matter to him if she came or not. But he hadn't been able to keep the grin off his face when she said she'd be there. What he hadn't been expecting was for her to show up with Hale. The Hales made no secret of how poorly they thought of SAMCRO, the MC both Jax and Opie's father belonged to. But fuck if he didn't see Hale before he saw Tara.

Hale had Tara's hand locked in his, keeping her close to him, and Jax really didn't get it. They just didn't make any sense. What more proof did anyone need than that 'I smell shit' scowl on Hale's face. How the guy could look so fucking unhappy when he had Tara at his side wearing the shit out of a pair of jeans was just beyond Jax. And all the proof he needed that Tara was suppose to be with him.

"'Scuse me, darlin'." Jax gave a charming wink as he pushed the blonde away. Grabbing a beer from one of the many buckets placed throughout the cabin he started towards Tara and Hale. "You made it."

Tara smiled, cursing her pale complexion as she could feel the heat rising to the surface of her skin at the sight of Jax. She was still shocked at her behavior after the homecoming dance. True she wasn't the retiring type, but she'd never been that blatantly…sexual. There was just something about Jackson Teller and his cocksure attitude that brought it out in her. She wanted to knock him off his stride a bit. "Told you I would."

"Guess you did." Jax held out the beer. "Beer?" When Tara reached for it, he pulled it back, twisted off the cap before handing her the bottle. "Hale?"

"Sure,"

Jax jerked his head toward the interior of the cabin. "Grab me one, too."

"It was really sweet of Piney to let Opie have a party out here." Tara jumped in quickly when she noticed Hale's jaw clench.

The smirk on Jax's face stayed firmly in place and directed at Hale even as he spoke to Tara. "Clearly you've never met Opie's pop."

Reaching out, Tara punched Jax in the arm. "Shut up. Mr. Winston's a really nice man." He was a man who didn't judge, didn't give her pitying glances. She hated that. Hated how, on the mornings after one of her father's violent, drunken outbursts, their neighbors would watch her with sad, knowing eyes. Shaking their heads at her misfortune. Piney never did. And Piney was the only one whoever came over at the sound of her father's yelling or her screaming or the sound of breaking furniture. He wouldn't say a word either, he'd just take her by the elbow, and lead her out the door to his house.

"Piney? Nice?" Jax had known Piney his whole life and had heard him be called a number of things over the years. Nice was never one of them. "If you say so."

Tara's smile turned flirtatious. "I do say so."

"Oh, yeah." Jax had just reached out to place his hand on her hip when Hale decided to remind them that he was standing there by pulling Tara tight to his side.

"Hey, I see Candy." Tara placed her hand on David's shoulder, part comfort, part nudge to get him to let her go. "I'll be right back."

David waited until Tara disappeared into the crowd before pulling himself up to his full height. "I know what you're doing, Teller."

Not even bothering to look innocent, Jax merely shrugged. "Do you?"

"Tara is _my_ girl."

"Yeah? Then why isn't she wearing your jacket." Jax's lips curled in disgust as he flicked his hand over the shoulder of David's letterman jacket. "Isn't that what you jocks do? Throw these little pussy jackets over your girls to show everyone they're yours."

"She'll wear my letter before she's wearing one of those ridiculous crows."

It was all Jax could to do keep from adjusting himself as the image of Tara with a crow inked into her skin flashed in his mind. "Wanna bet."

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><p>Jax lost track of her. Before tonight he wouldn't have even thought the cabin was that damn big. Granted he wasn't putting in much effort. He wasn't about to follow her around the party like she was carrying his balls in her purse, that shit was for Hale. Jax was back in the kitchen, perched up on the counter, a different blonde settled between his legs.<p>

"Fucking asshole."

Turning his attention from the girl between his legs, Jax looked over at Lowell Harland. Lowell had been angry at the world in general since his old man took off a few months back. Clay had asked Jax to keep an eye out for him, make sure he didn't pick a fight with the wrong guy and get his assed kicked.

"What's up, man?"

"Fucking Kyle" Lowell lowered his voice. "I was outside with Tara and he played me."

The grin that had been on Jax's face dropped. He stopped just short of shoving the blonde aside as he hopped off the counter. "Kyle and Tara? She's underage." Granted Kyle was only nineteen, but there was enough of an age difference for Jax to believe Kyle needed to keep his distance.

"You think Kyle gives a shit." Lowell cast one last pissed off look towards the backdoor before walking off.

Wasn't much Lowell could do against Kyle, as the guy was still in the same shape he'd been in when he played ball at Charming High. Not to mention everyone was pretty sure he'd be prospecting SAMCRO in a few months. But Jax didn't have the same worries that Lowell had and there was no way in fuck he was going to leave Tara outside with Kyle.

It took him a moment to find them. There seemed to be people everywhere. Kyle, the slick bastard, had lead Tara out into the woods, towards a half-assed fort Jax and Opie had built when they were kids. Tara was leaning against structure, Kyle had his arm stretched out above her head, leaning in closer than what was necessary.

"A little far away from the party back here, aren't you?"

Kyle turned his head, but didn't bother stepping away from Tara. "What's up, Jax? Just catching up with Knowles here."

"Yeah," Jax reached out for Tara's hand, tugging on her arm until she was at his side. "You tell her about the kid you got coming in a few months."

"Naw," Kyle was no longer grinning. "We didn't get around to that."

Jax jerked his head towards the cabin. "Tig's here. And he's looking for you." He lied easily, smirking as Kyle practically sprinted back towards the house.

Tara waited, not at all missing the pleased look on Jax's face. When Kyle disappeared into the crowd, Jax let go of her hand to throw his arm around her shoulders but Tara stepped away from him. "You think you're cute, Teller?"

"What?"

"I can handle Kyle, you know."

It didn't matter, Jax didn't _want_ her to handle Kyle. He wasn't so stupid as to not realize Tara had been flirting with Kyle. That she was flirting with him was exactly why he sent the other guy off. Kyle wasn't Hale. Given the chance the older boy would have taken Tara's virginity right where they stood. "Well now you don't have to."

With a roll of her eyes Tara leaned against the wall again. She realized there was no point in telling Jax that she _liked_ Kyle. She knew he had a kid on the way and it wasn't like she was looking for a pledge of his everlasting love. She just didn't see the harm in flirting. There was something…dangerous about Kyle. He reminded her of Jax in that way. But unlike Jax he didn't treat her like one of the guys. In that way Kyle was like David, actually recognizing that she had boobs. But unlike David, Tara was almost sure she wouldn't have to give Kyle instructions on how to touch them.

"Quite popular tonight. Showing up with Hale, sneaking off with Lowell then Kyle."

Tara rolled her eyes, she was almost sure he'd been through twice that many girls already. "Kyle was back here because I'm one of the few girls in school he hasn't slept with and he doesn't believe in leaving anything half finished. And Lowell was back here because he wanted me to help him get Vickie Jones' number."

Jax's brow creased in a frown. "Vickie?" The chick was hands down one of weirdest girl in school, maybe around town. What any guy would see in her was way beyond him.

Tara scoffed, before giving a very simple answer. "Lowell."

It was a point Jax could only concede with a shrug.

"What are you even doing checking up on me, Teller? Shouldn't you be talking your way into Stacey's panties right now."

Moving closer to her, Jax gave her a grin. "Jealous?"

Tara gave an indifferent shrug of her shoulders. Of course she was jealous but she'd come to terms a long time ago with the fact that Jax would never look at her the way he looked at every other girl in school. "Why should I be? I don't want to get into Stacey's panties."

"Funny." In a move he hoped was more casual than he was feeling at the moment, Jax stretched his arm out until his hand was braced above her head.

Tara's breath caught at his closeness, her heart picking up rhythm. Their faces were closer than their bodies and Tara had to focus her eyes on his right ear to keep from looking at his lips. Or worse, into his eyes. He had the most amazing blue eyes she'd ever seen. "How've you been, Jax?"

Jax tilted his head in an attempt to catch her eyes, but she seemed intent on looking everywhere but at him. He knew what she meant, that she wasn't asking the question just to make conversation. About a week before school started, she brought her old man's car into his family's shop. He'd been the only one there, the club had business that needed their attention and his mother had to run out to the bank. A few people were suppose to come by and pick up their cars, so Gemma had made Jax sit in the office to wait for them.

The problem for Jax was that the office still smelled like his old man, still felt like him. And it hurt, the pain that he tried to ignore, that he done his best to push away, didn't just sneak up on him it hit him square in the chest. Jax didn't know what to do with his tears, had been freaked out to find himself crying that way.

That was how Tara found him, sitting at his old man's desk head down as he cried. She didn't say a word, just kneeled down next to the chair he was sitting at and ran her fingers softly through his hair. Jax's head came up then, wiping frantically at his tears. He wanted to push her away, would have pushed her away if he had seen anything other than understanding in her eyes.

There was some part of his mind that told him to pull her to him, slant his mouth over hers and push her down to the floor. To lose himself, to bury his pain, in her the way he had been doing with the women who hung around the club. The way his soon to be step-father told him to. God knows he wanted to, but he didn't. Instead Jax found himself going to the floor with her and wrapping his arms around her waist so that he could pull her tightly against his chest. When her arms came around him, he buried his face in her neck and cried.

Tara hadn't said anything, no soothing words to quiet his tears or empty platitudes to make him feel better. She just held him. And it had been exactly what he needed.

"You know me, babe. I get by."

Tara thought it was utterly ridiculous for her heart to skip a beat just because he called her babe. She had no doubt he called everyone babe. "I guess that's true."

He wondered what she'd do if he told her she was all he thought about. That ever since that day at TM it was her face she saw when he was with other girls. That more than anything in the world, he wanted to know if her lips were as soft as they looked. That it was all he could do to keep himself from lapping at her neck like some eager puppy.

He didn't know what she wanted from him. Sometimes he wondered if she even really saw him. When he saw her sitting alone, he'd drop down next to her and throw an arm around her shoulder. More than one girl took that as a sign to crawl into his lap, Tara merely passed him whatever she was drinking. When he called her darling she was quick to remind him she had a name. And when he tried the smirk that worked like magic before, she'd roll her eyes and walk away.

Tara was grateful for the complete lack of light as she was sure her skin was a bright red. She could practically feel her skin heating from her chest to her hairline. She had to place her hands behind her back to keep from burying them in his hair. His lips were so close to hers it was all she could do to keep from nipping at them.

"So," Jax wasn't entirely sure why he dropped his voice but when she leaned a bit closer to be able to hear him better he was awfully glad he did. "Having a good time?"

"Yeah I am." And the enjoyment she was feeling earlier doubled at having Jax so close and all to herself.

"Probably more so since you ditched your uptight boyfriend."

"David's not uptight." She was quick to jump to his defense because he was a good friend and had never been anything but sweet to her. "And he's not my boyfriend."

Just barely resisting the urge not to give a shout of joy, Jax ducked his head to keep her from noticing his grin. "Not according to Davey boy. He's telling everyone you're his girl."

"I'm not his girl. Trust me, if I were you'd have heard his father's head explode. No way the Honorable Hale would stand for his son dating the town drunk's daughter."

The playful mood was gone and Jax's spine had gone ramrod straight. "Did that bastard say that to you. Your worth ten of every fucking Hale there is. And if Hale's too much of a pussy to stand up to his old man than you should drop his ass."

When it looked like he was going to charge off and attack David, Tara quickly grabbed hold of his shirt. Taking two fistfuls of the dark blue flannel she gave it a tug and inadvertently pulled him flush against her. "David never said anything like that, it probably never even occurred to him. It was his asshole brother, Jacob."

"That guy's a dick." He wasn't appeased in the least and he didn't believe that David was any different from Jacob. He'd never met a Hale that wasn't a pretentious asshole. But with Tara's body so close to his, any intention he had of moving away from her fell away. She was close enough that he could feel the heat coming off her skin. He braced a hand on her hip, in part to keep himself from rubbing against her, more because he just had to touch her. "You were my girl I'd be shouting it from the rooftops."

"Doesn't really mean much, Teller. You've yet to have a girl the whole town didn't know about." Tara murmured softly, even as her heart fluttered at the thought of being his girl.

"You'd be different." He hadn't meant to say it, but fuck if it wasn't the truth. "Have you ever been kissed before, Tara?"

Despite her best intentions her eyes were glued to his lips, wondered if she could bring his mouth closer by sheer force of will. "Considering I'm not eight years old? Yeah," She wasn't sure which of them moved first, her or Jax, but their lips were barely an inch apart. And it was all she could do not to beg. "I've been kissed."

The tip of his nose brushed hers, he angled his head to the side. The hands that had been fisted in his shirt moved down to rest on his hips. They moved together, Jax bending his knees ever so slightly, Tara coming up on the tips of her toes. "It won't matter."

They didn't hear the approaching footsteps, or the silent curse, would have continued on if her name hadn't been spoken. "Tara? Tara you back here, Kyle said you were looking for me."

She didn't shove him away, and Jax figured that was worth something. But she did drop back, turning her head to look over his shoulder. He would have sworn she whimpered in disappointment, at least he hoped it was her and not him.

"David?

"Yeah. What are you doing back here? I can't see shit."

"Nothing." Because of how closely they were standing she could see Jax start to open his mouth to speak, she quickly stopped him by slapping her hand over his mouth.

"You're not getting high are you?"

Jax rolled his eyes. He didn't know how anyone could be that much of a fucking puss.

"Yeah?" She realized that was more of a question than anything else and when Jax laughed at her response she very much considered suffocating him. "Well, I was thinking about it."

"I'm gonna head back to the house." But there was no sound to suggest that Hale was actually headed back to the house. "You're really better than that, Tara."

Sure that this time David was walking away, Tara took her hand from Jax's mouth only slap him on the shoulder.

"Guy couldn't be any more of a bitch could he?" Jax thought about stepping away from her, giving them both space. But he didn't like how she tried to cover up him being with her. There was no way he was going to let her put him off, push him aside. "I thought you two weren't together."

"We're not." Tara made a restless movement with her shoulders. "But I just think it would have hurt him to know we were back here together….like this."

Jax didn't get it, but then again he really didn't give a shit about Hale's feelings. "Come with me."

"What?"

"Let's get out of here. We can go for a walk or something." He just wanted to go somewhere they could be alone, so they wouldn't have to worry about anyone interrupting them.

Every cell in her body was telling her to take his offer. To go off to wherever Jax wanted to take her. "I came with David."

Jax's hand came up slowly, running his fingers through her hair and fighting the urge to pull her close again. His eyes locked on hers. "Leave with me."


	2. Chapter 2

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: Big thanks to Eve who convinced me that there was a lot of story with this fic and with the ladies over on the J/T thread on ff convinced me to continue this fic. Hope everyone enjoys this chapter as much as the did the first.**

**Chapter 2**

Jax wasn't entirely sure how things at Opie's party had gone so terribly wrong. Tara had asked for an hour, just one hour to get Hale to leave the party. She said he didn't even want to come, that he was only there for her, and that he was probably already chomping at the bit to get going. As it turned out Tara didn't know Hale nearly as well as she thought she did. The fucking boy scout stayed at the party and glued to Tara's side all damn night.

When the clock struck midnight and he watched Hale kiss Tara, Jax realized the whole night was a bust. Well, not a complete bust since he did get into Stacy's panties. But even that wasn't nearly as satisfying since Tara had been the one he wanted to spend the night with. He didn't even know what to do with the fact that the night he wanted to spend with Tara didn't even involve sex.

What was worse, he didn't see her again until school started back. He'd wanted to call her, just a friendly thing to see if she wanted to hang out. But he always decided against it. For some reason it seemed really important not to make his pursuit of Tara terribly obvious. It just seemed vital that she not know just how much he liked her.

Unfortunately that meant showing up for school to see her with Hale. And fuck if she wasn't just the cutest goddamn thing he'd ever seen. She was in another pair of exceptional fitting jeans-he thought there should be a law requiring her to always wear jeans-and an oversized green flannel that brought out her eyes. She was standing by the entrance of the school, book in hand, ignoring whatever Hale was saying to her.

Appearing as casual as he could, Jax strolled over to them, but was beat there by Lowell and Candy.

"Classes haven't even started, what could you possible be reading?"

Jax caught Candy's question just as he reached them. "Nose stuck in a book already, Tara." What this girl was doing to him that he found that sexy, he didn't know.

"I'm just doing a quick re-read." Tara mumbled distractedly. "I read it at the beginning of break and I just want it to be fresh." When everyone around her became quiet and shared confused looks, Tara glanced up. Somehow her eyes connecting with the lovely blue of Jax's as if they were drawn there. "You guys do remember we were suppose to read this story over break? Mr. Horton assigned it. It's going to be on the final." They all continued to give her blank looks. "None of you did the reading? David?"

David looked more confused than ashamed. "I spent practically the whole break with you. When did _you_ have time to read it?"

Tara shook her head. "I can't believe none of you did the assignment."

Jax gave a careless shrug. "Babe, I'm willing to bet you and Jamie Graham are the only ones who did."

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><p>Sure enough, after the final bell rang and everyone was situated in class, when Mr. Horton asked for a show of hands from the ones who'd done the reading Tara and Jamie 'you forgot to assign homework' Graham were the only ones to raise their hands. Jax, Opie, Lowell, Candy, and even Hale didn't even bother to cover up there smirks. Tara was pissed. Because not only did they get to amuse themselves at her expense, she now had to sit through the class read through. She <em>hated<em> those.

To make matters worse Jax decided to change his seat to the one directly behind her. Opie was seated in the desk next to him, but had angled it in a way that he was closer to Tara and could participate in slowly driving her insane. Although his teasing was no where near to what Jax was currently doing to her. Tara was sitting slumped down in her chair, drawing as little attention to herself as she possibly could. The problem was, Jax was leaning all the way forward and her position allowed him to speak softly to her, his breath blowing against her neck.

From his position behind her, Jax's grin was just short of maniacal. He knew she was growing increasingly annoyed with him. What she didn't know was that he thought she was utterly a-fucking-dorable when she was annoyed. If anything he was disappointed he couldn't see her eyes. Tara had really expressive eyes. But he'd take what he could get for now. Even if he wondered just what it would be like to bury his face in her neck. She smelled incredible, the best way he could think to describe it was like chocolate and cherries. Made him eager to just take a bite.

"Hey, Tara."

Opie's voice was low, but then Opie's voice was always low. And it wasn't pestering as Jax's had been. Actually Opie spoke as if they were just hanging out and he wanted to ask Tara a question. And it was because of this, that when she turned to him, the annoyance that she'd been feeling was absent from her face. "Yeah?"

Opie held up his book, amusement lighting his eyes. "What's this word?"

With a huff of annoyance Tara turned back to face the front of the class. She could hear Jax chuckling behind her. As far as she was concerned they were both way too aware of just how cute they were.

"See," Jax began softly into her ear. "If you spent less time studying and more time with me, you'd find that funny."

Tara turned her head slightly, not able to stop the slight shiver when her movement caused his lips to brush her ear. "If I spent more time with you and less time studying, I wouldn't know the answer to his question."

"Ms. Knowles."

Tara flinched and Jax merely sat back in his chair with a grin, he imagined she was _really _pissed now.

"Why don't you contribute to the conversation going on up front."

Mr. Horton directed all of his annoyance at her. Which Tara immediately called bullshit on. Jax and Opie hadn't stopped talking since they sat down, but she utters one sentence and all of sudden she was class enemy number one.

"The numbers on Arnold's car-thirty-three, nineteen, seventeen."

"What about them?" Her tone was a lot more snippet than she intended and she wished she'd been sitting behind Jax so that when he laughed she could have kicked him.

"We were discussing what they mean, Ms. Knowles. I offered up the theory that the numbers were taken from the bible and are proof that Arnold Friend is the devil. Mr. Graham agreed. Mr. Hale suggested they were the ages of his victims and that Connie, fifteen, would be next. Now I'm asking you. What do you think the numbers mean?"

"Oral sex." A record may not have actually screeched to a halt, but it was heavily implied by the silence that dropped over the class at Tara's answer.

Mr. Horton frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"The sum of those numbers is sixty-nine. So I'm thinking they mean Arnold Friend enjoys getting and recieving oral sex." Behind her, Tara would have sworn she heard Jax's jaw hit the floor. Actually everyone was looking at her, but she didn't have to suffer their stares long as the bell sounded. Trying her best to appear as if she'd said nothing out of the ordinary, Tara gathered her books and headed out of the classroom. But she couldn't help the pleased smirk at seeing the dazed look on Jax's face.

Jax didn't think he could really be blamed for the minor shock he suffered at Tara's answer. He was a teenage boy and the girl he'd been thinking about nonstop since school started mentions sexual positions, most specifically sixty-nine. His mind had no choice but to flash to himself and Tara experiencing that position together.

Fortunately he recovered quickly, before Hale at least, and was out of his desk in a shot. He caught up to her in the hall, easily stepping around her and halting her forward progress. "Trying out your inner bad girl, Knowles."

Tara kept her chin up, tried not to let her nerves show. "Horton asked me a question, Teller. I answered."

Jax's lips curled into an appreciative grin. "Yeah, I guess you did." Just over her shoulder he saw Hale making his way out of the classroom.

It happened so quickly, Tara was barely aware of moving. Only that one moment she was standing in the hall and the next she was hidden between a bank of lockers with Jax pressed close. And she wasn't entirely sure if the spinning in her head was from the quick movement.

"I should probably thank you for your answer, though."

Being this close to him now, without any alcohol swimming in her system, or the safety of a desk between them, was not something she was fully prepared for. The hall was starting to fill up, they were drawing curious looks. There was more than a jealous glare or two aimed in Tara's direction. But she couldn't worry about those girls just now as it was all she could do to keep her breathing regulated. "And why's that?"

Casually, Jax tucked a strand of hair that fell from her ponytail back behind her ear. "It gave me some good material."

There was no mistaking the wicked gleam in his eyes. "You are all class, Teller."

"I can be."

His eyes were probably the bluest she'd ever seen, but she couldn't keep her eyes from going to his lips. She liked David, despite what anyone might think he was fun to hang out with. But when he kissed her at Opie's New Year's party she couldn't help but imagine what it would have been like to kiss Jax.

"We should hang out tonight." Jax suggested before he could give in to the urge to kiss her. The first time he kissed her wouldn't be at the school, where others could see or worse interrupt.

"I have to work tonight." Tara wasn't even sure how, or when, her hands became fisted in his shirt. "Maybe some other time." She hadn't meant to suggest it, didn't want to appear too eager, but she didn't want him to think she wasn't interested either. And Tara hated that she'd replay this moment over in her head several times before the day was out.

"Maybe." And Jax really hoped he didn't sound as disappointed as he felt.

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><p>Eglee's was located on the corner of Main St. It was prime real-estate as it was the first store kids passed on the way from school. The store was long, stretching back instead of out. One entire wall was set up with baskets of candy that could be bought by the piece or the pound. The store also offered a wide variety of candy bars, cotton candy, lollipops, blow-pops, hell anything that contained sugar. Tara had been working at the store in some capacity since she was thirteen, working off the books until it was legal for the Eglee's to hire her.<p>

"We should start a band."

Tara glanced over from the shelf she was currently restocking to Candy who was admiring her reflection in the mirror behind the counter. The store was finally quiet now that the rush from the elementary school letting out was over. Tara was the only one working, Mr. Eglee was in the back office. Pretty soon it would just be Tara and Candy.

"Why?"

"So we can get out of this town." Candy stressed as she turned from the mirror. "We start a band, we can tour, bounce from town to town playing in bars meeting hot guys. It'll be great."

"You want to leave this town, so that we can spend our lives traveling through other towns just like this one." Tara turned to laugh at her friend's suggestion, only to see Candy looking dejected by her answer. Because it wasn't her intention to make her friend feel bad, she decided to play along. "Besides, we'd need at least two more people to make up this band, who could we possibly stand enough to spend hours on the road with."

Candy's eyes lit up, but not at the prospect of planning their band, but knowing they were going to rip into a few of their classmates. Aside from gossiping it really was one of her favorite pastimes. "Emily Duncan."

Tara turned up her nose. "I wouldn't share a bank pen with Emily Duncan, let alone a microphone."

"Oh my God, did you see her at Opie's party with that cute blond guy that hangs around TM all the time."

Naturally Tara's mind immediately went to Jax and she saw red. Fuming over what he could possibly see in a whore like Emily Duncan, until she realized that Candy wouldn't have referred to Jax as 'that cute blond guy'. "No, I missed it. What happened?"

"How could you have…" Candy's smiled turned absolutely wicked. "Oh, that's right. You were off somewhere with Jax for most of the party."

Tara rolled her eyes, "We were outside talking, for like, five minutes."

"You were gone longer than that, you tramp. Now spill, what-"

Tara nearly gave a sigh of relief when Candy's father came out of the back of the store, successfully cutting off his daughter's line of questioning. "Hi, Mr. Eglee."

"Hello, Tara." Martin Eglee was a tall bookish looking man in his early forties. His hair, as blond as his daughters, began to thin in his twenties but the look suited him. As did the wire rimmed glasses he was constantly pushing back up on his nose. "I hate to be a bother but I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying to close up tonight. There's a banquet at the school for the football team and MJ is getting an award."

Tara tried to smother her grin at the way Candy rolled her eyes. Martin Jr, or MJ, was Candy's golden boy older brother. And he'd been receiving awards of some kind since he set foot in Charming High. "Um, yeah, no problem."

"Thanks Tara, don't know what we'd do without you." Like clockwork, Mr. Eglee pushed his glasses back up his nose.

"Daddy maybe I should stay to help Tara lock up." Candy began, hope shining brightly in her eyes. "I mean, I really don't need to be at MJ's banquet."

"Candy this is the last time your brother will receive an award as a high school football player. The least you could do is support him."

"How about I sit this one out and support him when he gets his last award as a high school basketball player?"

Instead of responding, Mr. Eglee simply cut his daughter a sharp look before walking out of the store.

"You're not going to that banquet, are you?"

Walking over to the radio that was currently whispering out '50s rock, Candy shook her head. "God no." She made a show of flipping through stations and turning up the volume so that Toad The Wet Sprocket's _All I Want _filled every corner of the store. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Wait, I thought you were telling about Emily Duncan at Opie's party."

Candy rolled her eyes, "She blew the cute blond guy." She gave an absent wave of her hand, already over that bit of gossip. "Now what are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"The Golden Boy finally proved himself useful. He told me about this bar in Lodi, live music, dancing. They don't card at the door so we should have no problem getting in."

Interest piqued, Tara slid onto the stool that was kept behind the counter. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. MJ and Fain are going back Saturday night, said we could ride along. You in?"

"Definitely. Wait…their not going leave at like nine again are they." Tara had been pissed the last time she went out with MJ and one of his friends. Attractive, athletic, and almost adorably simple, MJ had the attention span of gnat. She honestly didn't know how he managed to stay focused in a game long enough to be the star player.

"No, apparently there's some waitress he's convinced wants him. We may have to end up dragging him out."

"Then I'm in." The bell over the door sounded, drawing Tara's attention. She hated that damn bell, didn't understand the point of it when there was no way she, or anyone working, could miss someone coming into the store. But any annoyance she felt at the bell was swallowed by the urge to check her appearance in the mirror at her back.

Strolling into the store, looking like ten different kinds of trouble, was Jax, Opie, Kyle, with two members of SAMCRO. She recognized the one they called Tig, the guy always gave her a weird vibe, and Tara was always sure to give him a wide berth. The other, who she now realized was the cute blond Candy was talking about earlier, was a member Tara had seen around but didn't really know. Jax gave her a nod and a grin but continued to the back of the store with Opie.

"What's up, Knowles?"

Burying her annoyance at the way Jax basically ignored her, Tara gave Kyle an easy grin even as her eyes narrowed on his. "I'd say you are."

As if she had a Jackson Teller locator, Stacy came bustling through the door. She was much too winded for anyone to believe the casual act she tried putting on and Tara couldn't help but to roll her eyes at the other girl.

"Just a little buzzed." Kyle confirmed as he leaned on the counter giving her smile that suggested other wise.

"I bet I could get you to buy a shit load of candy right now."

Reaching out, Kyle gave the red and white stripped jacket the Eglee's required her to wear a tug. "Be a good bet."

"Hey, Herbert. Is your Old Lady, like, craving shit right now? These pregnant broads, they crave just the weirdest shit man."

As Tara watched, Kyle's entire body tensed at Tig's question. Even his smile was strained at he pushed himself off the counter. But he didn't go too far as the cute blond came up behind him and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"This asshole bothering you?"

Tara smiled, because he really was cute. "I was just getting ready to fleece him actually."

The blond grinned and without missing a step, pulled Kyle's wallet out of his back pocket all the while shooting him a look that dared him to complain. Flipping the wallet open he pulled out all the cash inside. "Here ya go, sweetheart."

Though she felt a bit bad for Kyle, Tara took the cash anyway and tried her best not to laugh when Kyle gave an indignant huff and walked away.

The blond didn't bother to watch him go, didn't even seem like he could be bothered to. Instead he leaned over the top of the glass case, shooting Tara a guileless smile that lit up his whole face. "I'm Kozik."

"Tara."

* * *

><p>Across the store, Jax tuned out of whatever it was Stacy was going on about. His eyes were intent on the counter. Tara had hopped off the stool and was leaning over the glass top smiling at Kozik who was leaning way too fucking close for Jax's liking. He didn't know what the fuck they were smiling about, didn't like that they felt the need to speak so softly to one another. Every once in a while Kozik would point to something in the case and Tara would pull out a few candy bars. But Jax highly doubted they needed to be that close to one another for Kozik to pick out a fucking candy bar.<p>

"Five minutes before you guys came in here," Candy was leaning against the wall, something like pride shining in her eyes as she looked across the store at her friend. "She didn't even know who he was."

"I thought she was with David," Stacy asked as she finally drew her attention away from Jax and towards her other classmate.

Candy rolled her eyes. "David is _way_ too tame for Tara. Plus," Her voice dropped, her hands coming up to her shoulders. "He's a 'safety zone' guy."

Stacy's face crinkled adorably in disgust. "Boring. But I'm willing to bet he's not." She nodded towards the counter.

"I think that's what Tara is counting on."

Jax wasn't entirely sure what the fuck they were talking about, but he had a pretty damn good idea and he didn't like it. He had to be careful, really fucking careful as Kozik was a patched member. And even though Jax's father started the club, he just couldn't talk to patched members anyway he wanted to. But he was practically trembling with anger as he walked the short distance to the counter.

"What's going on?"

"Hobert decided to help Tara here meet her quota." Kozik explained. "Don't worry, Jax, I got you something." He picked up a _Mounds_ bar. "Tara said they were your favorite."

Jax's eyes narrowed even as Tara's lit with mischief. She really thought she was so fucking clever. Considered knocking that triumphant smirk off her face by letting her know he spent more than a few nights dreaming about her ass. "Thanks, babe."

"Thank, Kyle."

Kozik glanced back and forth between them, realized there was something brewing very close to the surface. Figured he'd help Jax out a bit. "SAMCRO is throwing a party on Saturday. You should come, bring your friend over there."

Jax's hand clenched around the candy bar and realizing he crushed the damn thing, he was reluctant to let it go. Didn't want either Kozik or Tara to know just how pissed off he was.

"We already kind of have plans." Tara gave an apologetic smile.

"Yeah?" Jax was both relieved and disappointed.

"Yeah. MJ and Fain know of this bar in Lodi, invited Candy and I to tag along."

"Shit, you going somewhere with MJ you'll be back in enough time to stop by the clubhouse."

"Candy promised it wouldn't go down like that." But Tara had her doubts, things just never went as planned with MJ. "But you never know, maybe we'll stop by."

Jax thought he was just about sick of these vague half-assed commitments to hang out from her. There were a ton of girls in town who would be more than willing and would eagerly jump on an invitation to hang out with him. He didn't know what the fuck Tara's deal was. "Yeah, whatever." He turned towards Kozik. "We should get out of here. See you around, Knowles."

Brow creased in a frown, Tara watched him move determinedly out of the store. And for the life of her couldn't figure out just what the fuck his deal was.


	3. Chapter 3

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 3**

It was late and the streets were quiet when Tara made her way home. Her steps were slow, lazy, reluctant. There really was never any way to tell just what she'd be returning home to. Her father had many moods. Sometimes she thought that he was bipolar along with being a raging drunk. And though she knew it was wrong, she hoped he was belly up to a bar somewhere. At least then she wouldn't have to deal with him.

Sometimes she thought maybe she was a bit bipolar herself. Because her feelings for her father changed with his moods. Sometimes he drank until he was a sobbing, blubbering mess, and he disgusted her. She'd look at him and feel nothing but contempt. But he cried when he was sober sometimes, too. She didn't hate him then, just felt sorry for him. For both of them, really. After a few beers he could be fun, most fucked up part about that was that was when she loved him most. Because he could be a mean and violent drunk. But he could be meaner and even more violent when he was sober sometimes, too.

Those times, however, weren't even the worse. The worse was when he was so sloppy drunk he couldn't even pick himself up. When she stopped using the window or the door outside her bedroom to get in and out of the house, when she made herself walk down the hall to the living room only to find her father on the floor. Sometimes he'd be bleeding from where he fell, other times he'd reek of his own urine. Once or twice she found him face down in his own vomit.

She couldn't remember how old she was the first time she found him that way. The first time she took on his weight to help him down the hall to the shower. But it was always the same. He'd look at her with eyes that were once a bright green, now dulled and lifeless. He'd give her a smile, a sadder version of the one he flashed when she was a kid, and slur out "What would I do without you, Tara-girl?"

And that's when she hated him. Hated him so fucking much it would erupt out of her in spurts of violent anger that often times scared _her._ Because she could see what her life would be. It made her feel trapped, feel as if she _had _to stay. That she'd be stuck taking care of him, cleaning his piss and his puke, taking his abuse, and loving and hating him for the rest of her life. It made her wished he'd just drink himself to death so she could finally be free of him. Then she'd feel like shit because he was still her father. And she did love him.

All these thoughts were still swirling in her head when she reached her house. Every light was on, realized she must have really been deep in thought not to have heard his swearing. He was sober, she knew that from the lack of things being broken. And his words were just that bit meaner.

"Tara! Useless little bitch where are you! Tara!"

Not at all in the mood-to deal with his wrath, dish it back out at him, or sneak into the house-Tara simply kept walking. She didn't know what the fuck had set him off, really it could have been a myriad of things, but she didn't feel the need to try to figure it out. So she waited until she was two doors down before cutting through the neighbors yard and hopping the gate. Giving a audible sigh of relief when her feet hit the ground.

This house was dark, but the empty driveway was a clue that it would be. She considered climbing through the back window, but dismissed that thought when she remembered the last time she'd done that. Breaking someone's shit was not the way to get them to let you crash at their place. She went to the backdoor, backdoors were always open in Charming.

"You'd make a really shitty cat burglar, you know that."

Tara jumped several feet even as she glared at the large boy filling the doorway. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I live here."

Tara rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. I thought you'd be out with Jax."

Opie shrugged his shoulders. "Decided to call it an early night."

"Oh," She wanted to ask why. To ask what they had been doing before heading their separate ways. Wanted to know everything Jax had done and said since he walked out of Eglee's. But she didn't trust Opie not to go back and tell Jax she'd been asking about him. The last thing she needed was his ego getting any bigger.

"Well," Pushing the screen door open, Opie stepped back to allow Tara to enter.

"Thanks," Moving by him, she went straight to the living room. Dropping down onto a corner of the couch she quickly snatched up the remote, idly flipping through the channels. Moments later Opie came in with a quilt under one arm and a pillow under the other.

Without a word he dropped the items onto the couch beside her before holding his hand out for the remote. She could have fought him on it, well not physically, but argued until he got sick of dealing with her and just let her have her way. But she didn't feel like arguing, didn't even feel like talking. Which was the upside of spending time with the Winstons. They weren't much on talk either.

Little more than an hour later, Tara had stripped out of her shoes and her jeans and was lightly dozing on the couch when Opie finally spoke.

"What's this I hear about you going out with MJ and Fain this weekend?"

Tara kind of loved the way he asked. As if the mere thought of her going out with MJ and Fain was just absurd. "They found this bar in Lodi. Music and dancing, Candy wanted to check it out."

"It's going to be lame and you're going to be pissed because of it."

She merely shrugged and didn't really care if he caught the movement or not.

"Did Jax tell you about the party at the clubhouse on Saturday?"

The fact that just the mention of Jax brought a sleepy smile to her lips should have been disturbing and maybe it would have been if she was aware she'd done it. Or the fact that Opie saw it. "No. Uh, Kozik did."

"You should come."

No longer just dozing, but slipping deeper into sleep, Tara mumbled something completely unintelligible.

"Think about it." Opie clicked off the TV, tossed the remote back into the chair. "Jax really wants you to come."

Once again a sleepy smile curled her lips just before she dropped off into dreams of messy blond hair and bright blue eyes.

* * *

><p>"Your brother fucking sucks."<p>

"Yeah, I know."

Tara and Candy walked aimlessly through the darkened streets. While MJ and Fain had been eager to go out, like a couple of old men, they were ready to call it a night by ten. The band they actually went to see hadn't even taken the stage by ten. Tara and Candy had not been pleased, but headed back to Charming none the less. Though neither girl was ready to call the night a complete bust and were running through their options to salvage it.

"Stealing his car was inspired." Candy nodded as if tipping her hat to Tara.

"I thought so."

"Parking it illegally at the school was just kind of mean."

Tara gave a careless shrug. "More your idea than mine."

Realizing that was actually true, Candy nodded. "What's David up to tonight?" After spending a few hours with her brother and his friend the last group of people she really wanted to be bothered with was a bunch of football players, but desperate times.

"He's visiting his grandparents in Santa Monica. You know," Tara began in what she hoped was a casual tone. "Kozik invited me to a party over at the clubhouse."

"A SAMCRO party." Candy's eyes lit up with the prospect even as her stomach twisted nervously. "I don't know, Tara. My dad would kill me if he found out."

The corners of Tara's lips turned up just a bit. "How is he going to find out?"

A block away from the clubhouse they could hear the music, the roar of bikes, and the sounds of a party growing quickly out of hand. Tara's heart was pounding. She and Jax haven't had anything resembling an actual conversation since he walked out of Eglee's days before. He still sat behind her in English, still sat forward in his desk so that she felt his breath on her neck. And sometimes in the hall, he'd come up close behind her, joining in on whatever conversation was going on but never really acknowledging her.

His behavior did bother her, actually it pissed her off. But Tara tried not to think about it too much. She was well aware of how men were when they were in a mood. David could actually be the same way when she did something he didn't like. She kind of wanted to mention that to Jax for no other reason than to piss him off. She had decided to just leave him alone, let him work out his shit alone since that was how she preferred to handle things. It wasn't until she realized he was teasing her-that the little touches and the way he blew on her neck was actually some form of punishment-that she decided enough was enough.

Two could totally play that game.

"Why are all of these women naked?"

Tara didn't know why she was surprised to hear the scandalized tone in Candy's voice. Candy may have bucked her parents rules every now and again, but parties with SAMCRO were not an Eglee norm. "It saves time later on."

Candy blanched. "And your dad use to bring you to these when you were a kid."

Not knowing how to answer that, or even why she revealed that bit of information to her friend, Tara only shrugged. Yeah her father would come to these parties, but he'd always leave her locked in the car with strict orders not to get out. Once or twice Tara could remember falling asleep in the backseat of the Cutlass and waking up on Gemma Teller's couch. She didn't know if it was Gemma, John Teller, or Piney who finally got in her dad's ass about it, but eventually he just left her at home.

"Hey, Tara!"

Because Lowell had spent the last several months glowering at everyone the smile on his face seemed out of place. Even the corners of his mouth twitched as if the muscles weren't use to moving in such a way. "Hey, Lowell."

"Hey, Lowell."

Though his smile spread to Candy, there was more than a hint of confusion in his eyes. If it was from seeing her or the way she seemed to be hidden behind Tara was unclear. "What's up, Candy? So things with MJ and Fain turned out to be a bust?"

Tara thought about MJ and Fain stuck in Lodi without a way home. "Turned out better than you would have thought."

"Cool. So, hey," Lowell leaned in close. "Vick's here."

Glancing over his shoulder Tara caught sight of the current object of Lowell's affection. Like always she was standing alone, looking angry and pissed off at the world in general. Normally Tara let people wallow in their anger, she just didn't trust people who were _always_ happy. But still, she couldn't quite figure out what Vicky was so pissed off about. Tara understood being pissed off. What she didn't understand was being pissed off for pissed off's sake, as Vicky always seemed to be. "Awesome."

"Wanna come hang out with us?"

"No!" Candy shouted only to realize how she came off. She gave Lowell a friendly smile. "You don't want to bombard a girl with your friends on a first date."

Lowell nodded. Tara could actually see him kicking himself. "Yeah, you're right. You're right. Maybe we should all hang out next weekend."

"Yeah." Candy agreed. "You should get back over there, don't want her getting any ideas." She waited until he walked away. "No way in hell I'm hanging out with her. That's the gloomiest bitch I've ever seen in my life."

"Can't argue with that. Come on, let's see if we can find Jax and Opie."

It seemed damn near impossible to find anyone out in the lot, so the two girls pushed their way into the clubhouse. Candy seemed petrified to enter. Tara wasn't quite sure what she was afraid of. It wasn't like someone would see them and run them out, most everyone was too drunk to even notice them by now anyway.

"Knowles!" Kyle called almost the moment they stepped into the clubhouse. "You made it."

It took some effort for Tara to fix the smile on her face as the first thing she saw when she walked into the clubhouse was Jax. He had some girl perched on top of the bar, her legs wrapped around his waist, and his tongue half-way down her throat. It was like the wind had been knocked out of her. She wanted to run away, go home and cry in her bed. And the fact that she felt that way made her want to go over to them and scratch someone's eyes out. "Yeah." Her eyes stung, hoped the smoke hanging heavy in the air kept anyone from really noticing.

"Wanna hit." He held out a joint.

"Sure," Tara accepted the joint, making an effort not to hit it too hard. She would _not_ let anyone see just how upset she was. Absently she passed it to Candy. "April couldn't make it."

"Naw, she wasn't feeling well."

"On account of the baby?" Candy asked more for Tara's benefit than for Kyle's, earning a rough nudge from her friend.

Kyle's jaw clenched. "Yeah."

Tara wondered why he got so pissed off every time someone brought up the baby. It wasn't like the whole town didn't know. Or not talking about the baby would make it untrue. She wanted to let him know that his denial in regards to the baby was less attractive than the baby itself.

"You girls want a beer?"

It meant going up to the bar, meant being up close to Jax and his slut, but for some reason that made Tara all the more determined. She wanted him to see just how much she didn't give a damn. "Yeah."

"Come on," In a move so practiced it appeared absent, Kyle eased his arm around Tara's waist, pulling her in front of him as he guided them the short distance to the bar.

The place was packed and a few things she saw actually made her cringed, she couldn't imagine what was running through Candy's mind. Because her eyes were firmly diverted away from Jax, she finally caught sight of Kozik. He was sitting at one of the tables scattered throughout the clubhouse. There were a few people standing around him as he arm wrestled another member.

Tara didn't know who the other member was, didn't even care. Because Kozik was wearing a sleeveless shirt under his kutte. His arm was flexed and covered in a light sheen of sweat. And there was an easy grin on his face as he slammed his opponents hand down onto the table. Tara was almost embarrassed at the way her body responded.

"Who's next?"

No one jumped up immediately and Tara found herself silently praying for someone to rise to the challenge. Almost sighing in relief when one of the many burly, hairy men stepped up. Pulling away from Kyle, Tara made her way over to the table. She wanted to see this up close.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Opie nudged Jax, tried to keep his voice low, but either his friend didn't hear or chose to ignore him. He nudged him a few more times, tried pulling on his shoulder to no avail. Left with no choice he stepped close to Jax's ear to shout. "Tara's here, bro."<p>

Jax's head came up at that, a pleased smirk curling his lips. "And?"

Opie wanted to tell Jax the fact that he pulled away from the chick who was working his jeans open pretty much negated his careless attitude. But he was friend enough not to mention it. "Thought you'd want to know."

Jax kept his smirk in place. "I'm kind of busy here, bro." But he was already searching the clubhouse and the smirk on his face wavered when he finally caught sight of Tara.

He didn't really know how to describe the look on her face. No, actually, he did. It was a lot like the looks all the croweaters were giving Kozik. And the wavering smirk became a frown as he stepped away from the bar and turned fully towards Tara and Kozik. The croweater behind him didn't really catch the hint and merely wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull him back against her.

"Hey, Hobert." Kozik called, a grin aimed at Tara as he seemingly toyed with the man he was arm wrestling. "Make yourself useful and bring me a shot."

Just such a fucking show off, Jax thought as Kozik kept his attention on Tara. He figured she was trying to make him jealous. But he didn't know what Kozik was trying to prove. Showing off for a teenager, fucking loser. And he thought Tara was a lot smarter than to believe a grown man was interested in a teenager. He conveniently ignored the fact that the woman behind him was pretty much the same age as Kozik.

"Wanna give me a hand, sweetheart?"

Tara blushed, she actually fucking blushed at the thought of helping Kozik down his shot. Jax rolled his eyes. She called him on his bullshit but she was falling for _this_. Did she not see that every guy Kozik was arm wrestling was old, fat, and fucking wasted.

"Gonna do something about that, brother?" Opie asked.

Jax grabbed his beer off the bar, jaw clenching as Kozik slammed his opponents hand onto the table. "Yeah."

"Who's next?"

"Me." Jax shouted over the noise. Reaching back he grabbed the croweater's hand, pulling her off the bar and across the room with him. When he reached the table he expected for Tara to notice him, but she barely glanced away from Kozik who was rotating his wrist and flexing his arm.

"Are you just going to arm wrestle every guy here?" Tara asked, eyes actually lighting up at the prospect. She never took herself to be one of those girls to get off at a show of violence but really that wasn't what this was. She couldn't even explain what this was or why she found it so exciting. But God, every time Kozik slammed some guy's hand down onto the table her stomach clenched in arousal

"You know a better way I can spend the night."

Tara thought she could think of several, all of which involved his hands, his arms, and her body.

And as Jax watched, the look on Tara's face went from teenage girl with a crush to a woman full of promise. It was a look that had him popping the last few buttons off his flannel before he shoved it at the croweater behind him. Dropping into the chair opposite Kozik, he gave the shoulder of his T-shirt a tug to reveal the muscles in his arm. Becoming more pissed off when Tara _still_ didn't look his way.

"You sure you want to do this, kid." Kozik asked as Jax began to flex and rotate his wrist. He had always considered Jax to be a good kid, just cocky as fuck. But he liked him, liked him enough to help him pull his head out his own ass. He knew that Jax had a thing for Tara, as it had been more than a little obvious that day in the candy store. But five minutes before Tara walked into the clubhouse Jax was fully prepared to fuck the croweater he had propped up on the bar. Shit like that gets a woman stolen real quick.

Kozik knew that things had always come easy for Jax. He was a smart kid, he just didn't appreciate shit. And having seen them together, the way Tara acted towards him in the candy store, Kozik could see that the pretty brunette wasn't the type of chick the kid was use to. Shit, if she were just a couple years older he'd have her back in the apartment himself right now. Figured more than a few guys around the clubhouse really wouldn't give a fuck about her age.

It was why he kept her at his side. It wasn't just for Jax, because the kid was real damn close to fucking around and letting the chick slip away. But he did it for Tara, too. She was too young-and he thought it'd be a good idea to find out how old she actually was before fully dismissing the idea of fooling around with her-to be subjected to the type of men who hung around the club. "Easier ways to prove you're hot shit." He also figured the kid could use a healthy bit of humiliation.

Jax considered telling Kozik to fuck off. It was obvious the son of a bitch wasn't even taking him seriously. Going so far as to wink at Tara as he set his elbow on the table. "Let's just do this."

Kozik shrugged before turning his attention towards Tara. "How about a kiss for luck?"

And it was like the world around Jax stopped turning. Felt like he was in a dream, like the words spoken weren't real but something his mind came up with to torture him. But much to his horror, Kozik turned his head up just as Tara lowered hers. Everything was happening in slow motion and the words were out of Jax's mouth before he could think to stop them. "She's only fifteen."

Both Kozik and Tara stopped, the blond pulling back as the brunette stood ramrod straight.

Tara thought about countering with the fact that she'd be sixteen in February, but dismissed that thought when she realized just how childish that would sound. Her chance with Kozik was shot, blown to hell by a boy who forgot about her the moment she was out of his sight. It would be one thing for Kozik to mess around with a girl he knew was in high school, but she knew there was no way he would give her the time of day now that he knew how old she was.

Figuring what the hell, Tara framed Kozik's face in her hands. Tilting his head back she slanted her mouth over his, feeling a spark of triumph when she felt him returning her kiss, even if only for a second.

Embarrassed, angry, and jealous, Jax watched as Tara practically shoved her tongue down Kozik's throat. "Are we gonna fucking do this or what?"

It was Tara who broke the kiss, pulling back to give Kozik a smile. "Good luck." She turned to smirk at Jax, dare him to say something to her, but something over his shoulder caught her attention. Her eyes narrowed, her mind telling her to look away but she seemed incapable of it.

Seeing the look on her face, Jax turned his head to see what had caught her attention. It took him a moment because it had been awhile since the last time he saw her old man. But sure enough, in the hall leading back towards the apartment was Eric Knowles, pants around his ankles, screwing the hell out of some chick.

Noticing all the color draining from Tara's face, Kozik also glanced up the hall. He'd already seen the couple, as they'd been at it for awhile now, and considering that it wasn't the only couple currently mid-coitus he was momentarily confused on why this one bothered her more. It wasn't until he saw the man's face that he put it together. Teller and Hobert called her Knowles. Ric Knowles was her old man. The guy wasn't patched, was a raging drunk, but somehow managed to get more pussy than anyone. He was a hanger-on, a label that shouldn't have had women throwing themselves at him. According to Bobby, Piney had offered to sponsor Ric, but the guy turned him down. Something about promising his wife he'd never patch. Kozik never knew what to make of the guy, but figured it was a miracle Tara wasn't completely fucked up.

"Shit," By the time Jax turned back to Tara she was gone. He jumped quickly from his chair, not even bothering to look back at the croweater he damn near knocked over in his haste. He didn't bother looking around the lot for her. He knew she wanted to get as far away from what she'd seen as possible. It took several more moments, he cursed every one of them, before he was finally through the gates and on the street.

He was glad to see she hadn't gone too far, was actually only a little ways up the block with Candy and Opie.

"Got some beer at my place." Opie was saying when Jax approached them. "My pop probably won't stumble in until some time tomorrow. We can go back there."

"Party at Opie's." Jax grinned as he tossed his arm casually over Tara's shoulder. He didn't know how to handle what she saw, but figured the last thing she'd want to do is talk about seeing her father fucking some woman. "Sounds like a plan."

Tara wanted to push him away, tell him to go back to his whore. But he came after her, he didn't have to come after her. And he was flashing her that stupid grin that was all too easy to fall for. More she could appreciate the way he eased the tension. Opie and Candy both seemed unsure of what to do with her after what she saw, so much so that Tara was actually going to decline Opie's offer to hang out. But Jax had managed to cut the tension seamlessly.

Getting drunk at Opie's now seemed like a much better way to spend the rest of the night as opposed to going home and thinking about what she'd seen. Maybe, Tara thought as she allowed Jax to lead her up the street, she'd get drunk enough to purge the image from her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 4**

It was mid-Sunday morning when Tara returned home. She didn't bother sneaking in. She'd seen her dad's car in the drive, knew he was home, but she just didn't give a shit. She drank herself sick the night before, passed out on the floor of Opie's living room, and woke up to find her head resting on Jax's chest. She wanted to enjoy it, wallow in the feel of his arm wrapped around her shoulders, but her rolling stomach didn't allow it. Now all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed, pull the blankets over her head, and stay that way until she had to go to school Monday morning.

"You just now getting in."

Though it hurt to move her eyes, the bright sun having not helped with the burning dryness, Tara looked up at her father. She could tell from the paint stained coveralls he wore that he was sober. The coveralls meant he was working and he never drank when he was working. And from the absence of malice in his features, she knew he was in a creatively good place. She really hoped his creative mood didn't put him in mind to share. She was in no mood for a sharing hour with her dad.

Looking at him now, standing in the middle of the room, coveralls tied around his waist, Tara could see why her mother had fallen in love with him. Wondered how he avoided becoming fat and ugly like most people who drank. He wasn't a tall man, before he started drinking he always seemed taller than he was. His hair-as dark and thick as hers-was always wild and in need of a trim. He had a full poetic mouth that seemed to greatly compliment his slightly over hanging brow. Standing there he looked every bit the artist a young girl could fall in love with. She wished he'd gotten ugly. That way it wouldn't be so easy to forget just what kind of monster he could be.

"Yeah."

"I'll be putting the varnish on the Gleeson's table. No power tools."

Tara could have cried in relief. Most days the sound of her father's tools as he worked was a comfort. It meant his mood was pleasant, meant he was in the garage creating something really beautiful. But at the moment even the thought of those tools going made her head pound. She didn't even want to begin to deal with the fact that her father knew she was hung-over and was kindly assuring her she didn't need to worry about him making any unnecessary noise. "Okay."

Eric nodded, but said nothing else. And for several long moments they remained where they were staring at each other. "That kid was here looking for you." He began for lack of anything better to say. "Ah, the creepy one with the curly blond hair and dead eyes."

If it wouldn't have shattered her into pieces, Tara would have laughed at the description. As it was the grin that tugged at her lips hurt like hell.

"Eglee's kid." Eric continued when it looked like Tara wasn't going to say anything.

"Oh, MJ. He was looking for his sister. We ran into him."

"He said you guys went out last night."

Tara didn't know why he was suddenly interested, had hoped he'd just let it go but he ended up following her into the kitchen.

"Where'd you go?"

"Lodi, but it was a bust, so Candy and I came home." She pulled the Tylenol down out of the cabinet. "Decided to head over to the party at TM."

He grew quiet then, Tara would have sworn all the air had been sucked out of the room. Standing at the sink, she kept her back to him as she popped the pills into her mouth. After swallowing the pills she considered pouring the rest of the water directly into her eyes.

"You saw."

"I did."

"Ah, shit, Tara-girl…"

"Dad," Holding up her hand Tara cut off whatever it was he was going to say. "Please don't."

"I just wish you hadn't seen that."

"Makes two of us."

"It's just ever since your mother-"

At this Tara blanched, her stomach actually rolling. She did not need to hear about her father's…_needs_. It had been six years since her mother died, she knew her father hadn't become a monk in that time. She didn't need to know anything beyond that. Moreso, talking about her mother with her father could be problematic. Even though he brought it up, the conversation could end in a number of ways. None of them good. And Tara preferred to avoid them all. "Can we just not talk about this ever again?"

"I can live with that." He paused. When Tara turned to look at him there was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was your night?"

The corners of Tara's lips tugged at this as well. "That's not funny."

Eric gave a guileless smile. "It's a little funny."

* * *

><p>Tara's day had gone exactly as she planned. After her conversation with her father she made her way back towards her bedroom. As she stripped out of her clothes she sent a silent thank-you out to her dad for giving up his bedroom to her. It wasn't a magnanimous gesture. After her mother died her father hadn't been able to sleep in the room any longer, Tara hadn't been able to sleep anywhere else. So the master bedroom with attached bath became hers.<p>

She spent nearly an hour under the hot spray of the shower. It wasn't a cure-all, but it did go a long way to ease the pain that ran from the top of her head to the soles of her feet. She didn't bother slipping anything on, simply wrapped the towel around herself and crawled into bed. She pulled the sheet over her head and dropped instantly off to sleep.

Eglee's closed early on Saturday and opened late on Sunday, so with the store only being open a handful of hours on the weekend Tara was only required to work one weekend a month. The hours worked out well for her, it gave her Friday and Saturday night to go out and Sunday to study. Or in this case sleep off the worse hang-over known to man. And sleep she did, only waking up twice since her head hit the pillow. The first time she woke up was to find that her father brought in a pitcher of water and sat it next to her bed. It was a gesture she found both sweet and kind of fucked up.

When she woke again hours later the house was dark. It took her several moments to discern just what day it was. Rolling over she stared blankly at her alarm clock, it was just past eight. Tara didn't really see the point of getting out of bed, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get back to sleep. With a disappointed groan she pushed back the covers and once again made her way into her bathroom.

A few moments later Tara was carrying a bag of chips and a glass of Pepsi out of the kitchen. There had been several left over containers in the fridge and a couple boxes of mac and cheese in the cabinet but she was feeling entirely too lazy to go through the trouble of heating something up, let alone cooking. She was on her way to the movie she'd popped into the VCR when the doorbell rang.

Figuring it was her father, it wouldn't be the first time he locked himself out, she didn't bother asking who was on the other side. And when she opened the door to reveal Jax she kind of wished she'd kept walking. "What do you want?"

The easy smile that had been curling his lips dropped at her icy greeting. "What did I do?"

"Aside from blurting my age out to Kozik and embarrassing me." With a roll of her eyes Tara attempted to slam the door in his face, but Jax's hand came out to block the door before it closed.

Knowing she wouldn't be inviting him in, Jax stepped inside. Closing the door behind him he followed her towards the back of the house. He'd been to house enough to know that her father turned the extra bedroom into a den. "Are you seriously still pissed about that? I was doing you a favor."

"Are you shitting me right now? How could you possibly think you were doing me a favor?"

Jax frowned, he had not come over here to argue with her. Honestly he was just stopping in to see how she was doing. Thought maybe he could talk his way inside and finally get to hang out with her with no interruptions. He wasn't expecting her to be pissed. Actually he didn't expect her to even remember much of the night before. He was kind of counting on it. "You think Kozik gives a shit about you?"

"No." Tara tossed back honestly. "And that's besides the point. You had no right."

As far as he was concerned he had every right, but he knew Tara wouldn't appreciate him going on about how 'dibs' worked. "You are way too young to be mixed up with Kozik and Kyle. You don't know those guys, how they really are."

"I have a pretty good idea. And too young, I'm older than you."

"By like three months. I'm older where it counts."

Tara's mouth dropped open. She didn't know rather to throw him out of her house or her glass at his head. "You did _not_ just say that to me."

He wondered if she'd be so mad if he told her he regretted it immediately. It's just that she got in his head and twisted everything around. If she'd just let him come over and see her none of this would have happened. "I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it?"

"You're not…" Jax scrubbed his hands over his face. The words dancing around in his head the utter truth but had trouble slipping pass his lips. He wasn't use to this. This level of honesty with a girl. There was a small voice in the back of his brain warning him to shut up and get out while he still could. But there was a tightening in his chest that kept him right where he was. "You're not like the girls that hang around the club. But Kyle and Kozik…they'd treat you like you were. And you...you shouldn't be treated like that."

And just like that all the fight went out of her. It wasn't what he said, but how he said it. Like he struggled with the words. She'd seen Jax with other girls but she'd never seen him quite like this. And honestly Tara didn't know what to do with that. "I was going to watch a movie. You can stay and watch with me if you want."

"What movie?" He couldn't appear too easy. Truth was she could have said Terms of Endearment and he probably would have stayed.

Lowering herself to the couch, Tara tucked her feet under her bottom and propped her arm up behind her. "_The Goonies_."

A large boyish grin spread across Jax's face. "I fucking love this movie." He practically flung himself at the couch. Landing so that his body was tucked into hers and his head was resting on her shoulder.

He was much too perfectly positioned for her to think it was an accident. But as he shifted just a fraction of an inch closer, Tara found she really didn't care. More, she found she really liked having Jax close.

* * *

><p>Monday morning Jax was up earlier than he'd ever been. The hours he spent the night before with Tara were unlike any he'd ever spent with a girl before. Most notably she remained fully dressed. And though they sat close together on the couch, every so often her hand would come down to play in his hair, they barely touched. They just watched the movie together. He always kind of guessed that Tara was the type of girl who didn't need a lot of words, he just hadn't figured he'd enjoy it as well. She didn't just get quiet, she got calm. It was a whole different energy than what he was use to.<p>

Every time he was with her she proved more and more just how unlike all the other girls she truly was. He never had to explain himself to a girl the way he had to with Tara the night before. He never even felt the need. But Saturday night at Opie's she'd gotten drunk and she smiled at him, laughed with him, kept her eyes locked on his as if he was the only thing in the world. Sunday when he went to her house she acted like she'd be okay if she never saw his ass again. Jax liked the way she made him feel on Saturday and thought he'd be okay if she never looked at him like she had at her door on Sunday.

Jax found himself wanting to get to know her. It wasn't until he was sitting on her couch watching a movie with her that he realized he didn't really know her at all. He wanted to know more than what the town knew. Which is how he found himself showered, dressed, and waiting nearly half an hour for Opie to come and pick him up. The horn of Opie's truck barely sounded before he was jogging down the driveway.

There was a frown on Opie's face as he turned towards his friend, normally he'd have to wait ten or fifteen minutes for Jax to drag himself out of the house.

Feeling his friend's eyes on his, Jax turned in his seat as well. "What?"

"Nothing." With a shrug, Opie put the truck in drive and started up the street. "It's just that someone one is awfully eager to get to school this morning."

"Gemma got my last progress report now she's up my ass about my grades." Jax lied easily. "She had me up at the ass crack of dawn."

Opie grinned but said nothing.

Charming was a small town so the ride to school was fairly quick. When he climbed out of the car, his eyes scanned the grounds. He didn't even bothering lying to himself that he wasn't looking for Tara. It took him a moment to locate her as she wasn't in her usual spot by the entrance. Instead she was in the parking lot with Hale, who was obviously showing off his new car.

Jax grinned. Hale had parked at the front of the lot, meaning he'd have to pass them to get to the school and wouldn't appear to be going out of his way to talk to her.

"Your grandparents must really love you." Candy was saying as she lifted herself to sit on the hood, purposely ignoring the angry glare Hale was sending her way.

"They bought Jake a car on his sixteenth birthday, too."

Jax rolled his eyes, the guy couldn't even properly show off. "New car?"

Hale's eyes narrowed on Jax, clearly waiting on the insult. "New to me."

"Cool." With a smirk, Jax moved passed him to Tara who was leaning a hip on the hood next to Candy. "What's up, Knowles." His voice was a low murmur as he moved in close, one hand sliding around her waist to rest on her hip as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

Tara considered it a miracle that she hadn't melted into a puddle right where she stood. "Teller." Because he lingered in her space, she practically spoke his name against his cheek.

David watched the entire scene with a mix of anger and confusion. He knew Teller had been sniffing around Tara, but when he left for his grandparents house on Friday he'd been sure Tara wouldn't fall for the biker prince's charm. He'd seen her flirt with Kyle a time or two but it was always with that hint of amusement in her eyes so that he knew she wasn't really serious. But there was no amusement in her eyes now with Teller and it caused a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

><p>By the time lunch rolled around Jax was pretty much sick of being stuck in school. Truth was he was ready to call it a day after first hour. But it was the last full week of school before finals and Gemma really was up his ass about his grades. He wasn't delusional enough to believe that attending all his classes would result in him acing his finals and passing his classes. But showing that he was putting in the effort would be enough to get her off his back.<p>

He didn't bother going through the lunch line, didn't really feel like going through the hassle, and as he stepped out onto the quad to see Tara sitting with Candy a slow smile curled his lips.

"You know he's pissed at you right?"

Tara frowned as she switched her apple juice for Candy's fruit punch. "I caught that but I don't know why."

Barely flinching at Tara's switch, Candy pulled back the cover on the cheese and crackers she opted for instead of nuggets. "Seriously? David likes you, like a lot. And you and Jax practically needed a parental guidance warning out in the parking lot earlier."

Instead of answering Tara simply threw a fry at her friend just as Jax straddled the bench next to her. Much as she had with Candy's juice, Jax plucked a fry off Tara's tray.

"Helping yourself to my food, Teller?"

"I'm a growing boy." Jax grinned as he scooted even closer to her, one arm going around her waist to hold her to him.

"I guess you're right." Picking up a fry Tara held it to his lips.

"Parental guidance warning." Candy murmured as she brought her apple juice to her mouth.

Ignoring her friend, Tara turned all her attention to Jax. "What are you still doing here, Teller? Shouldn't you be somewhere getting wasted with Opie and Kyle by now?"

"Haven't you heard? I'm a good boy now, attending class and everything."

"I seriously doubt that." She fed him another fry. "Gemma's giving you shit, isn't she?"

"Pretty much, yeah." He picked up her fruit punch, taking a few sips before sitting it back on her tray. "So you working tonight?"

"Yeah." Tara caught the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, felt the answering tug in her chest. "Why don't you come by the store and keep me company later? Should warn you though, Candy has to go to some thing for MJ, so you'll have to make due with just me."

Candy frowned, not recalling anything she had to do with her brother later. "I don't-Ow." Her argument was cut short when Tara's foot connected with her shin, this also cleared her mind enough to realize what her friend was doing.

Because all his attention was focused on Tara, Jax missed what was going on under the table. He tried hard to keep the wide grin off his face and only just barely succeeded. "Sounds like a plan." He caught sight of Opie coming out of the school, knew he would be heading out to the parking lot for a quick smoke. "I'll catch you later."

Tara didn't even bother trying to keep the grin off her face. "Yeah." She watched him walk away before turning back to Candy.

"Well played, Knowles. Very well played."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Tara." David had to run to catch up with her, knocking into more than a few kids in his effort. "You want a ride?"<p>

"I'm heading to work so it's not really necessary. Thanks anyway, though."

"Oh. How about I come in and keep you company?"

Tara smiled, she knew he hated hanging out at the store. More she knew he always caught shit from his dad when he did. "You don't have to do that."

David sighed, not sure why she wasn't understanding what he was getting at. "Tara." Placing a hand on her arm he pulled her into one of the empty classrooms.

"Everything okay, David?"

"What? Yeah, yeah." He began to nervously pace the room.

Tara frowned, understanding that something was wrong with him and tried not to be too obvious in glancing at her watch. The Eglee's had given her a job when they didn't have to and she did everything she could to be a model employee in return. That included always showing up not just on time but early.

"It's just…I really like you Tara. And we've gone out a few times, but we never really said what we are."

"We're friends, David." Already she felt like shit. Didn't know how she missed how twisted up he was about this. Knew it may have had something to do with Jax and the fact that she'd been kind of wrapped up in him for awhile.

David nodded and for a moment it seemed as though he was going to accept that answer. He started to walk out of the room only to turn back to her at the last minute. "But don't you think we could be more. I mean….we have fun together, right?"

"Yeah we do." She wanted to hug him, put a hand on his shoulder, something that would get him to calm down. But she figured touching him now would probably send the wrong message and she didn't want to do that only to hurt him. Because she'd really hate to show up to school tomorrow to see David avoiding her. "It's when we try to make it more that it just doesn't work." And she hoped he realized that. Sure they made out a few times but it was always awkward and made things weird between them afterwards.

"Well…I can change if you want."

"I don't want you to change. You shouldn't have to."

David nodded, though his brow was creased in confusion. As if he wasn't quite sure what just happened or when the entire conversation went wrong.

"Look, I should get going." Tara went towards the door, keeping the smile on her face easy. "Don't want to be late for work. Call me later?"

"Yeah. Okay. Later."

Once she was out of the room Tara breathed a sigh of relief. She really hoped David wouldn't hold her not returning his feelings against her. She knew he wasn't a spiteful guy, that he valued her friendship. But she also knew he really hated Jax. And even though she knew David would have a fit when he found out about the time she'd been spending with Jax, it didn't stop Tara from hurrying out of the school and towards Eglee's. Despite what just happened with David, she was really looking forward to spending more time with Jax.


	5. Chapter 5

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: I just wanted to, again, thank everyone for the reviews and alerts on this fic. And a special thanks to Eve Levine, not just for her help with this chapter but for being a sounding board for this fic.**

**Chapter 5**

"I really do hate leaving you here alone Tara."

Having been distracted by watching for Jax, Tara turned to Janice Eglee with a confused frown. It took a few moments for the words to sort themselves out in her head. "It really is okay, Mrs. Eglee. I'll be fine."

"Oh, I know you will. I just feel better when Candy is here to keep you company. I tried to talk Marty into at least letting her out of the house to come into the store, but he wasn't hearing it."

A smile tugged at the corners of Tara's lips as Janice continued to ramble on about her husband and daughter. The woman was the hippie to her husband's English professor. Her hair, a light auburn, fell straight as a pin to her waist. She had more skirts and peasant blouses than could have possible been created but they were the only clothes Tara could ever recall seeing the woman in. Fortunately it was a look that worked for her.

"What about your grades? I'm sure you made out better than Candy."

Tara shrugged. "I did okay." She would have left it at that, but Mrs. Eglee was looking at her expectantly. She knew she wouldn't be getting out of this conversation until the woman heard what she wanted to hear. Janice Eglee may have been a hippie, but she was a damn formidable one. "I got an A- in English." And she was convinced that had everything to do with Mr. Horton being an unimaginative dick.

Mrs. Eglee's eyes didn't widen in shock, but her lips curled knowingly. "That was your lowest grade wasn't it."

Tara nodded.

"That's our girl. Wait until Marty hears this, he'll be so proud of you." She laughed as she finally began to collect her things. "Fair warning, he'll be hounding you to tutor Candy before long."

"He already has." The bell over the door sounded and as he had for a week and a half Jax walked in with an easy grin. And as she had for a week and a half, Tara returned his grin with a bright one of her own.

Janice turned at the sound of the door. "My Marty doesn't understand that a young girl needs her free time to go out and have fun." The smile on her lips became sly. "Just don't have too much fun, dear." Backing away from the counter, she moved towards the door. "Hello, Jackson."

"Mrs. Eglee." Stepping back, Jax held the door open for her.

"Developed quite the sweet tooth lately haven't you."

Jax remained quiet, which was fine as Mrs. Eglee continued out the door not giving him a chance to respond.

"If you're not careful, Teller, people are going to start to think you have a thing for me."

"Everyone knows you're luring me in here with free candy."

Rolling her eyes, Tara reached out to change the station on the radio. "The mighty Jackson Teller taken down by the power of a blow pop."

With a sly grin, Jax leaned over the counter top. "More like promise of a blowjob."

Her hand came up quickly to slap him on the shoulder. "Is that one of the lines you use to get all the girls to drop their panties for you?"

"Not all the girls."

There was nothing subtle about the look he sent her but Tara said nothing, choosing instead to flick her finger down his nose.

It was all Jax could do to keep from grabbing her hand, yanking her across the counter and kissing her. He'd been coming into the shop during Tara's hours everyday for a week and a half. He found that the two hours before closing was the best time. No one really came in and she was usually alone. He especially liked it because he could walk her home, just the two of them walking the quiet streets. They talked about everything and nothing at all. He liked talking to her, even if it freaked him out just how easy it was.

Unfortunately it had been a week and a half and he hadn't kissed her yet. They hadn't even really come close. He was waiting for her to get that look in her eye, like the one she gave Kozik. But it never came. And Jax was growing angry and frustrated.

"Hey," Before she was aware of what she was doing, Tara was running her hand through his hair to gain his attention. She hadn't even been aware of how close they were until he looked up at her and she was able to identify every shade of blue in his eyes. "Are…are you okay?"

It would be easy, just so easy, to lean in and press his lips to hers. There was hardly any space between them, less than the night at Opie's party. All he needed to do was lean in, just a bit, and he'd finally know just how soft her lips were. The counter was between them, so he didn't even have to worry about pushing her too far too fast. All he wanted was a kiss. Just a kiss to put him out of his misery.

Tara didn't know why he wasn't moving, why he wasn't saying anything. But she thought if he didn't kiss her in the next five seconds her head would literally explode. She'd been waiting for him to make a move since he started coming into the store. Would have sworn she'd been misreading what was going on between them had it not been for the times she caught him staring at her mouth.

Unable to stand it a moment longer Tara surged forward, pressing her mouth to his before she could think better of it. It wasn't much of a kiss, not nearly as long as what she'd imagined. But it was enough to knock Jax out of whatever thoughts had been crowding his mind. The corners of his lips curved, his eyes darkening in a way that had the muscles in her stomach fluttering, and he started to lean in.

Jax felt her sigh against his lips. She was always so full of surprises. While he'd been contemplating how to kiss her, she'd made the decision for them both. He'd barely registered her lips on his before she was pulling away again. He liked that she kissed him first. Though he had to wonder if she knew what she had done as it was all he could do to keep from fisting his hands in her hair and pulling her across the counter. To keep himself from acting on that impulse, he leaned in again. Thought it was long pass due for them to have a proper kiss.

The bell above the door sounded, alerting the couple of another presence in the store. Well alerted Tara. Jax had no idea what was going on when she suddenly pulled away from him.

Great, Tara thought as she looked at the knowing smile on Marianne Oswald's face. Next to her was her idiot boyfriend who, going by the ridiculous smirk on his face, somehow managed to fire up enough brain cells to understand just what they had walked in on.

"Hey guys." Marianne kept her eyes on them as she walked to the back of the store. "What's going on?"

Nothing now, Tara thought with a disappointed sigh as she pushed away from Jax to stand behind the cash register. She didn't look at him. Knowing as soon as she did she'd more than likely start making out with him regardless of an audience.

* * *

><p>Jax had wanted to leave. It seemed that Marianne and Craft's entrance into the store was some kind of go sign as people started pouring in at that point. He couldn't talk to Tara, could barely get her to look his way, the smart move would have been to take off. He considered heading over to Opie's or back to the clubhouse. Instead he went and got himself something to eat, getting back to Eglee's just as Tara was closing up.<p>

When she saw him, her face lit up in a smile and Jax realized he made the smart move. He was getting real use to Tara smiling at him that way.

"So are you going?" Jax asked only to earn a confused look from Tara. "To Craft's party. The guy couldn't fucking shut up about it."

"Oh," Tara gave an indifferent shrug as she fell into step with him. "I don't know." Candy would more than likely still be severely grounded and she didn't want to go by herself. But she also wasn't looking forward to staying home by herself on Friday night either. "You?"

Jax shrugged as well. There'd likely be a party at the clubhouse, there was always a party at the clubhouse. But he thought he'd check out Craft's party if Tara would be there. He wouldn't tell her that of course and needed to find a way to get her to tell him her plans without coming off like a pussy. "Things slow down after I left?"

"Not really." And she'd been glad for that. If the store had been empty she'd have spent the rest of the night replaying the kiss, the almost kiss, and his exit from the store. With the late rush of people she was able to distract herself a little bit. "I'm use to it though."

"You've been working for the Eglee's for awhile now haven't you?"

Tara nodded, a slight smile curling the corners of her lips. "Since I was thirteen, they were paying me off the books then." She had practically begged for the job. Asking her dad for money had become problematic, living with him even moreso. She needed to be away from him, needed money for the things other girls her age were buying. But as her father's drinking grew more out of control, she thought less about things and more about an escape.

"Shit. You probably have enough money saved to buy a car by now." He didn't know why, but he totally figured her for someone to save their money. Nothing about Tara said she blew her money at the mall.

"Probably." She laughed as she thought about it. "Yeah, I probably do have enough. I'm saving for something else, though."

Stuffing his hands in his pocket to keep from taking hers, Jax glanced over at her. "What?"

Tara's breath shuddered out. "College." She never told anyone that, was afraid that if she did she'd be laughed at. Or worse, pitied.

"You want to go to college? Really?" She was the first person he knew who talked about going off to college. Granted that had a lot to do with him not bothering to ask the other girls he'd been with what their life plans were and the people he felt closest to being part of the club. But he thought it was pretty cool that she wanted to go, that she was saving up for it. She wasn't counting on her old man to pay for her to go to school and she wasn't blowing it off because of it. "Where do you want to go?"

"UCSD." Uncomfortable, she made a careless movement with her shoulders.

"That where your mom went?"

Tara glanced over at him in surprise. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

He didn't. Talking to Tara the past few days he realized she wasn't an overly sentimental person. She hardly ever talked about her mom, actually she pretty much shut down whenever Jax brought her up. At first he thought she really didn't care, but that didn't really vibe with the girl he knew. He began to realize that it wasn't that she didn't care, it was that she was still hurting. "A guess."

"It's where she and my dad met." Tara began with a wistful smile. Remembering the story her father told her a thousand times when she was a little girl. "He was in San Diego visiting family." Her mother had been finishing up her degree in secondary education. They met while her dad was touring the campus with his cousin. They were married five months later, the ink had barely been dry on her mother's degree. When she was a little girl, her dad use to tell that story in a way that made her think it was the most romantic thing in the world. Now there were times she really didn't know what to think of it.

Jax had very, _very_, vague memories of Tara's mother. She taught at the elementary school, he thought it was probably fifth grade math since he never had her for a teacher. Her dying hadn't really affected him, he could remember it being so distant from him at the time. He remembered his parents whispered conversations, the way they talked about Tara, but he hadn't understood it. Didn't understand what they meant when they kept saying 'she saw'.

Tara thought she knew where Jax's thoughts had lingered. Her mother's suicide had been talked about for years. Tara being the one to find her was still talked about as many wondered if she'd someday be hanging from that same tree in the yard.

Jax could practically _feel_ the mood settle over her. He remembered going to see his old man in the hospital. Every day since he wished he hadn't, his mother had made him, told him he needed to say goodbye. But Jax hadn't wanted to see him that way, broken body hooked up to countless machines. He didn't want that memory, didn't want to remember his father that way. He knew it was the same for her, maybe even worse.

Instantly he was sorry for bringing it up, for making her think about it. The last thing he wanted was to make her sad. "Remember how pissed off you would get when me and Ope would accuse you of cheating in math because it's what your mom taught."

"You and Opie were assholes." She smiled, firmly pushing away thoughts of her mother and the feelings that always rushed in on her. "Still are." Without a hitch in her stride she brought her leg up to kick him in the butt.

"Been trying to get to touch my ass anyway you can, haven't you?"

"How do you remain upright with that ego of yours?"

"My giant cock helps keep me grounded."

This time Tara shoved him and realizing she may have shoved, kicked, and hit him one time too many in one night she immediately took off running.

Jax watched her run away with a grin, thinking he was giving her a head start until he saw just how fast she was. He could have caught her, thought about grabbing her around the waist and pulling her down with him. But he could hear her laughing, she had a soft laugh but it was echoing loudly through the quiet streets. He wasn't paying attention to where she was running to, just kept her locked in his sights as she cut through parking lots and eventually backyards. When he caught her, he had to use both arms to hold her.

"You might want to cut out the whiskey and the weed if you want to catch me the next time I take off on you, Teller."

She was breathing heavily, he would have said something to her about it if he wasn't breathing so hard himself. "Considering I caught you, I'm not too worried."

Because she could, Tara dropped her head back on his shoulder. "I guess that's true. Nice of you to get me home safely."

Jax frowned, confusion clear on his face as he glanced around. Still it took him a moment to realize that they were in fact standing in her driveway. With a disappointed sigh, he dropped his chin onto her shoulder. Wondered if she'd be okay if they stood like this for a little while longer. It would be even better if he could get her to invite him in. Considered just inviting himself.

"Candy is seriously grounded."

Not at all sure what that had to do with anything, Jax remained quiet.

"I'm not sure how long, though. But it's probably a safe bet she won't be going to Craft's party."

The light dawned and Jax grinned. "Well, if you want to go, but not alone, I can come with you." He turned her around but kept her close. "If you want."

Tara nodded, but said nothing. He was so close, his breath fluttering across her lips. Her heart skipped and it was like she couldn't speak, couldn't think. She could only react.

Neither of them would ever be sure who moved first. It wouldn't matter to Tara. But Jax had an image to maintain, so he'd always swear he was the one to act. Only later would he realize the importance wasn't on who moved first but on the fact that the choice to move seemed out of their control. Jax didn't understand it, though he didn't really question it either. All he knew was that he had to move, he had to kiss her.

His arms were still around her waist when his lips touched hers for the first time. And fuck if her lips weren't softer than he imagined. When they parted on a sigh, allowing his tongue entrance before he even asked, it was all he could do not to shove her back against the house. He moved slowly, though he wasn't sure why. He'd never moved slowly a day in his life. But as his tongue slid smoothly over hers, slow just seemed like the best idea ever.

The hands that had been on his waist came up until her fingers brushed his cheeks. Jax thought she may have been asking for something but he wasn't sure what. Couldn't even make himself pull back to ask. All he could do was bring his hands up as well, tangle his fingers in her hair to tilt her head back.

Jax lost his virginity when he was fourteen, some eighteen year old croweater that Clay pushed at him while his old man was on a run. Naturally he hadn't lasted long, Tig had given him a few beers to ease his nerves. It wasn't an experience he'd look back on fondly or much at all. His virginity had been a burden, a point of contention the guys gave him hell for, and he simply wanted it gone. The second girl was more teacher than partner. She'd been looking for an in with the club, wanted to be someone's Old Lady, and figured a good way to kill time until that happen was to fool around with the Prince. There'd been plenty of girls between then and now, Jax had appreciated them all for the good time and distractions that they were. He'd felt excitement, lust, and even affection for the girls he'd been with.

What he felt now, kissing Tara, he couldn't begin to describe. Perfect floated softly in the back of his mind, but Jax resolutely pushed it aside. It was bigger than what he could handle and he felt like a bitch for even considering it. But she tasted so fucking sweet. And kissed him with a force he wasn't quite expecting. Her lips were as eager as his, her tongue as curious as it sought entrance into his mouth and tangled with his own. He forgot where he was, forgot what he'd been doing or meant to be doing. There was a part of him that recognized that he was in trouble, but at the moment he didn't really care.

Tara had been sure, so sure, she'd be prepared for the overwhelming emotions that would come from kissing Jax. She kissed other boys before-drunken make-outs that meant nothing, long slow kisses that caused her stomach to flutter-but she'd always known that it would be different with Jax. She'd seen him with enough girls to know his hands wouldn't be as clumsy and eager as a few boys on the football team. Or as unsure and careful as Hale's. She told herself that when she finally kissed Jax she wouldn't fall for his act, wouldn't allow herself to believe that he kissed her differently than he kissed all the other girls. But it was so different than what she was use to. His hands didn't roam her body as she dreamed and often hoped they would, but there was something so exciting about the way they fisted in her hair. No, she hadn't been prepared for this at all.

With a disappointed sigh, Tara pulled back. She hadn't been prepared, but she wasn't exactly sorry either. She wanted to stay as she was, lay her head on his shoulder and leave it there for as long as he would let her. But her head was spinning, something she contributed to the speed at which her thoughts were running. She wasn't ready to admit it had anything to do with Jax's kiss. "Thanks again for walking me home, Teller."

Jax allowed his lips to curl in a cocky smirk, it seemed the safest thing to do. He allowed his arms to drop, but when she started to walk away he caught her hand to pull her back. His lips brushed hers lightly. This kiss much more innocent than the last but still packed a hell of a punch. "Goodnight, Tara."

He stood on the driveway and watched until she was safely in the house. By the time she flipped on the porch light there was a large ridiculous grin on his face. His entire body hummed with an energy he wasn't entirely sure what to do with. Not ready to go home, he ran up the driveway and through the backyard, hopping the neighbors fence until he was on Opie's block. He continued to run until he was in front of the Winston house, practically jumping over the stairs onto the front porch where Opie was sitting sipping a beer.

"You're in good mood."

Jax jerked a shoulder, reaching out to grab a beer out of the pack sitting next to Opie. "Good night."

"Coming from Tara's." Opie observed casually. "Was it everything you hoped it would be?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, I just walked her home."

"Wow," Opie leaned back in his chair. "I've never been in this good a mood just walking a girl home."

Jax gestured with the beer bottle but didn't drink. He could still taste Tara and wasn't quite ready to wash her away just yet. "Maybe you're walking home the wrong girls."

"Could be." A teasing grin curled Opie's lips. "You know if Tara's working tomorrow? She's always liked me better than she liked you."

Dropping into the chair next to Opie, Jax grinned. It seemed he was incapable of doing anything else. "Not anymore, bro. But you can give it a shot. I'd have to kick your ass, but you can give it a shot."

Opie laughed. He was almost sure he hadn't seen Jax this happy since before his dad died. He couldn't help but to wonder if his friend even knew what he was getting himself into. Some part of him hoped he didn't. So far it had been fun watching Jax fall for Tara. Opie couldn't help but to wonder how much more entertaining it could get.


	6. Chapter 6

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 6**

The next morning Tara woke to the sound of her father working in the garage and the ridiculous urge to call Jax. She could have kicked herself, certainly cursed herself, for acting as she knew every girl who has ever kissed Jax has acted. She didn't just want to talk to him, she wanted to know if he was as affected by their kiss as she was. It was a ridiculous urge that embarrassed her even though she didn't act on it.

Silently calling herself pathetic, Tara climbed out of bed. To drown out the noise from the garage, not to mention the rambling of her own mind, she stopped by the stereo placed on her dresser. The stereo was a Christmas gift to herself, one of the few splurges she's ever had, and she couldn't imagine having spent the money any better. A quick glance through the CDs and cassettes stacked on the dresser, she decided on _Paul's Boutique_- Beastie Boys always got her going in the morning. Hitting play, she cranked the volume all the way up knowing her father wouldn't hear and pretty much not caring about the neighbors. If they couldn't bother to get off their ass when her father got violent, she didn't bother to care if her music was too loud.

She'd been working under the notion that a hot shower would clear her mind. But every time she closed her eyes she saw Jax. She couldn't stop thinking about their kiss or imagining what the next one would be like. It didn't take her long to realize she needed a distraction. She'd been looking forward to today; no school, no work. She had planned to laze around the house for hours on end. There was no hope for that now. Any quiet time she had would be devoted to thinking about Jax or wrestling with rather or not she should call him or go find him. And there was just no way she was going to follow him around town like all the other girls. But she had to get out of her house.

Justifiably or not, Tara found herself annoyed with Candy for being grounded and therefore unable to provide the distraction she so desperately needed. With a disgusted sigh Tara stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around herself with more force than necessary. When she walked into her bedroom she saw that she was stressing over nothing. Sitting on her bed, along with several envelopes, was a note from her father who apparently had her day planned for her: _Go buy some stamps, mail these. I need glue, glue brushes, sanding sponges and blocks, and a new glove. Take the car. The kid with the stupid haircut was here looking for you._

Tara rolled her eyes as she tossed the note aside. Normally she hated running her father's errands. Without fail something she brought back was going to be wrong and that was going to start an argument that would likely get out of hand. But he gave her the car, which was a plus considering she didn't have her license yet. More importantly it gave her something to do besides sit around and think about Jax.

She went about dressing quickly. Drying her hair, but doing no more than tying it up in a ponytail. She threw on a pair of large sweats, pulling the legs up to her knees, as well as a Mickey Mouse T-shirt that may have been a bit small but it was so comfortable she refused to part with it. Was she aware of dressing down in an attempt to keep herself from seeking out Jax? Yes, she was. But, Tara thought as she grabbed the letters off the bed, whatever worked.

* * *

><p>If there was one thing Jax really didn't like about staying the night at Opie's it was being kicked awake by Piney the next morning.<p>

"Get your ass up off my couch boy. Clay's on his way."

"Morning to you, too, Piney." Jax mumbled as he buried his face in the pillow and realized just how hung up he was on Tara when he swore he could smell her. It was that, more than Piney's hand coming down on the back of his head, that got him up.

"You put those things in the wash, too. And I find out you didn't, I'll drag your ass back here to make sure that you do."

Jax sneered, though he had enough sense to do it when Piney's back was turned. Even still, he bundled up the pillow and blankets to carry them back to the laundry room. He was stuffing them into the washer when Opie shuffled into the kitchen.

Opie was still half-sleep, hand running roughly through his hair as he pulled a box of cereal off from on top of the refrigerator. Absently he glanced towards the laundry room and actually ended up doing a double take.

Catching his best friend's look, Jax shook his head. "Shut up, dude."

"Didn't say anything." Forgoing the milk or even a bowl, he shoved his hand into the box to pull out a fist full of Fruit Loops. "Just thought you'd be over the wet dreams by now."

"Fuck you. Piney was bitching about the wash before I was even up. When did he get all crazy about shit like that?"

Opie couldn't say why he played stupid. It would have been simple to tell Jax that the only reason Piney was giving him shit was because the pillow and blankets were the ones Tara used when she crashed on the couch. It wasn't that Tara staying a few nights with them every now and then was a big deal. But Jax would ask why she was staying there and Opie just didn't feel right talking about Tara's issues with her old man. Every one knew he was a drunk, but that was all they knew. If Tara wanted Jax to know more, it would be up to her to tell him. "I don't know."

Clay arrived before Jax could say anything else. And between him and Piney, Jax and Opie barely had time to put on their shoes. Both boys asked, but weren't told where they were going. Just told to shut up and follow.

"What the fuck is with all the secrecy?" Jax mumbled as he slouched down in the cab of Opie's truck.

"I think this secret hazing shit gets them hard." Opie answered absently, his attention split between the road and lighting his cigarette.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Jax tried but couldn't keep his gaze from going to Tara's house as they rode pass. Her old man's car was gone and he wondered if she as up yet. She didn't like waking up early, at least that's what she told him. Jax didn't know if he believed that or not. For some reason he saw her as an early riser, but then he had to admit the thought of her dragging out of bed every morning was kind of cute.

"Tara work tonight?"

"Naw, she's got the next couple days off cause she works this weekend." It wasn't until after he answered that he caught the knowing smirk on Opie's lips. "You're an asshole."

Opie gave a careless shrug.

The two boys fell into an companionable silence for the duration of the ride. Neither of them knew where they were going until they actually pulled into the scrap yard. Jax's heart began to pound, he didn't have to look to know his best friend was having the same reaction. Neither of them asked questions as they climbed out of the truck, both afraid to say anything for fear of their hopes being dashed.

They scanned the yard anxiously, trying to see beyond the rows of cars in various stages of decay. Only one area interested them, an area they just knew the yard had. _Had_ to have. There could only be one reason Clay and Piney would bring them out here. It was now, Jax could feel it in his gut.

It was all he could do not to take off through the yard like maniac. He wanted to shout at Clay and the proprietor to shut the fuck up and get on with things. When the two men _finally_ stopped talking, Jax sighed in relief. Clay turned, motioning for him and Opie to follow them. Jax felt like he was floating three feet off the ground. Didn't see or hear anything as he moved through the crowded yard.

When they reached the back of the lot and he finally saw the rows of bikes, the corners of his mouth twitched. It wasn't easy battling back the grin. He knew it was in Piney and Clay to fuck with them. But he didn't think either man was cruel enough to dangle the prospect of a bike in front of their noses only to snatch it back.

"You want a bike," Piney began. "Wanna earn the right to call it yours, to keep another man from plopping his ass down on it. You build it."

Clay nodded towards the yard. "Go pick your bikes, boys."

* * *

><p>Standing alone in the back aisle of Morris Hardware, Tara dropped her head back with an impatient sigh. She honestly didn't understand how there could be so many different types of glue. Any more than she could understand why her father never found it necessary to specify these things. Being in Lodi, it just didn't make any sense to drive all the way back to Charming. She considered asking Mr. Morris to use the store's phone to call her house, but realized that would be pointless as odds were good her father wouldn't answer the phone. The best she could do was grab bottles that looked somewhat familiar and hope that one would be what her father needed.<p>

Dropping the bottles in the hand basket, Tara carried her items up to the front of the store.

"Knowles."

"Hey, Mason." Tara gave a lazy smile as she dumped the contents of her basket onto the counter. "Where's your dad?"

"Fishing. School's out this week, so he figured it was a good time for him to go on vacation."

Tara nodded. "Kind of know the feeling." Reading her total on the register, she handed over the money before grabbing her bags and heading out of the store. And walked straight into Lowell.

"Aw, shit, Tara. I'm sorry."

He seemed panicked, frantic. Tara held up her hands to show that she hadn't been hurt in the collision. "Lowell, hey. Hey. It's fine, I'm okay. Lowell." She spoke his name firmly. When he finally looked up, Tara winced at the bruises on his face. "Jesus Christ, Lowell. Who did that to you?"

"No one. I…I'm okay."

"Bullshit." Switching the two bags she carried to one hand, Tara grabbed hold of Lowell's shirt with the other. Despite his protests she dragged him over to her car, throwing the bags through the open car window. "What happened?"

"If I tell you, you got to promise not to tell Jax or Opie or…or anyone."

Where before Tara thought it was fear she had seen in Lowell's eyes, she realized now it was shame. Sadly this wouldn't be the first time Lowell had been beat up. But usually a fight would set him off. Have him riled up and pissed off for days on end. This was different. There was a sinking feeling in her gut. "Vickie?"

Lowell's eyes widened before he ducked his head, unable to meet Tara's eyes. "I didn't touch her. I'd never put my hands on a girl, that's for pussies."

Tara nodded, momentarily speechless at this discovery. But it didn't take long for the shock to wear off and anger to set in. "What the hell is her deal?"

"We came to catch a movie, you know. But we missed the first showing and I couldn't wait because I have to be at work. You know, Clay gave me a job at the garage and I can't blow that off. I mean, I knew she wanted to see this movie. It was my fault we were late-"

"Wait, Lowell." Tara placed her hand on his shoulder. "This is not your fault." But she didn't think he heard her or even if he did, she doubted he believed her. She knew the feeling, so she didn't press. "Do you need a ride back to town?"

"Could you? It's just...I have to be to work in like twenty minutes. Vickie drove, but she left because-"

"Lowell, it's okay. I'm heading back home anyway."

They didn't say much to one another on the ride back to Charming. Lowell couldn't keep still, his fidgeting getting worse the closer they got to TM. It was annoying but considering what he'd just gone through, she let it slide.

When they pulled into the garage, Tara wasn't so distracted by Lowell that she didn't allow herself to look around for Jax. Heart sinking a little when she didn't see him.

"Where are you going?" Lowell demanded, more than a hint of panic in his voice when Tara stepped out of the car. "You promised you wouldn't say anything."

"I'm not. I'm willing to bet they have a first aide kit. We need to get you cleaned up." When she saw that he'd calmed down, Tara turned to walk towards the office. Gemma Teller was sitting at the desk, somehow looking both at home yet out of place in the tiny room. "Hi, Mrs. Teller."

Gemma glanced up from the receipts she was going over. "Tara, hi."

"Um," Gemma had always made her nervous. But she found the nerves had doubled now that she'd kissed Jax. "I was wondering if you had a first aide kit."

"In the bathroom." Gemma's eyes narrowed as they swept over Tara. "You okay, sweetheart?"

Feeling that laser sharp gaze on her, Tara realized what it was about Gemma that made her uncomfortable. Sometimes it was like the woman could look straight through her, to all the secrets she preferred to keep hidden. It made her feel exposed. And she hated that. "Oh no, it's not for me. Lowell had a run in with a few guys from Lodi…he doesn't want anyone to know."

Gemma nodded, but it was clear she didn't entirely buy the story. "Go ahead and take him into the bathroom."

"Thanks, Mrs. Teller."

"No problem, sweetie. How's your dad?"

"Fine. Working on your cabinet, it's beautiful by the way."

"I'm sure it is. Tell him I said hi."

"I will." Stepping out of the office Tara jerked her head towards Lowell, gesturing for him to follow her.

* * *

><p>"Looks like you aren't the only one who enjoyed that walk home last night."<p>

The corner of Jax's lips turned up slightly, he wasn't able to fully keep the grin from forming. He saw the Cutlass as soon as they turned into TM, but did his best not to get his hopes up. "How do you know that's Tara? Could be her old man."

"You didn't hear the saws and shit going this morning? Her old man was working," Opie stated in a matter of fact manner. "Tara has the car."

Jax said nothing as he climbed out of the truck and headed immediately towards the bed.

"So you just don't come home at night any more?"

At the sound of his mother's voice Jax winced but when he turned to her there was a charming grin on his face. "Crashed at Ope's. Should have called." He threw an arm around her shoulder, tilted his head to kiss her cheek. "Sorry."

"Should be." Gemma ran her hand over his back, giving him a shove back towards the truck. She couldn't help the swell of pride in her chest as she watched him lift the bike off the truck. It was like watching his first steps all over again.

"Did Lowell get here yet?" Clay asked as he glanced around the lot. "He was suppose to start today."

"Yeah," Gemma jerked her head towards the garage. "He's in the bathroom with Tara."

At this Jax stumbled, his heated gaze pointed towards the garage as he imagined pulling Lowell out of the bathroom by his neck.

"Don't look so proud, Clay." Tig announced as he stepped out of the garage. "Kid got his ass whooped in Lodi, little miss Tara is patching him up.

Jax glanced over at Opie, who had obviously seen his reaction, and couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Shut up." He mumbled as he continued to push his bike into the garage.

Just as he stepped inside, Tara walked out of the bathroom. She'd been saying something to Lowell, but broke off when she saw him. A bright smile curled her lips, bringing out the dimples in her cheeks, and making Jax helpless to do anything other than return it.

"Hey."

"Hey." Instantly forgetting whatever it was she was saying to Lowell, Tara crossed the garage towards Jax. She wondered if he'd be okay with her grabbing his face and kissing him. To keep from mauling him in front of everyone she glanced down at the bike he was holding up. "This yours?"

Jax nodded, pride bright in his eyes as he ran a hand lovingly over the bike. "Yeah."

The thought of him on a bike twisted something in her stomach. "You going to fix it up yourself? You know how?"

"Been fixing bikes for as long as I can remember. Couple of months this is going to be the best bike on the fucking road." He leaned over the bike, pleased when she did the same, so that their faces were only inches apart. "Play your cards right and I might let you ride on the back."

"Play _your_ cards right and I might just accept."

"Keep this up and I'm going to puke." Opie tossed out, earning a middle finger from both Jax and Tara. But they both took a step away from each other.

"I should get going." Before she returned home to find her dad throwing a tantrum.

"I'll walk you to your car." Reaching across the bike he took her hand, pulling her close to his side and ignoring the look his mother sent his way.

"So, you're going to be working on your bike most of the day, huh?"

Jax nodded. "Sooner I get started, the sooner I'll get finished. You should hang around, keep me company."

"I have this stuff in the car for my dad." Tara leaned against the car door, unconsciously giving his hand a tug to pull him closer. "But I can come back later, if you'll be here."

"I'll be here." Jax placed his hands against the hood of the car on either side of her. "But just in case, you should give me your number so I can give you a call if I head out."

"Alright." Turning Tara ducked into the window to search her purse for a pen.

Jax couldn't keep the proud grin off his face, patting himself on the back for the smooth way he got her phone number. But his pride quickly turned into another sin as he glanced down at her ass. His head dropped back, as if asking for strength. But in the end he couldn't help himself, found he simply _had_ to run his hand over her ass.

"What are you doing back there, Teller?"

"Giving you a little extra support." While torturing himself.

"Well, you can stop now."

"Damn, not even a thank you."

Tara rolled her eyes as she grabbed his wrist, quickly writing her number on the palm of his hand. "Somehow I think you should be the one thanking me."

Leaning in, Jax placed a quick kiss on her lips. "You're probably right. I'll call you later."

* * *

><p>Tara didn't know what this was. This feeling in the pit of her stomach, the smile she just couldn't keep off her face. Some part of her was frightened by it. Falling for Jax Teller was a bad idea, but she was slipping and try as she might just could not get a foothold. The doubts plagued her while she'd been at home. She questioned her own sanity, she'd seen Jax with other girls. She knew he could pour on the charm and get whatever he wanted. She always thought she'd know better than to fall for his act. Realizing that she was dangerously close to becoming just another number, Tara cautioned herself to throttle back. She could have fun with Jax, mess around with him, but had to keep her heart out of it.<p>

So she found things to do to keep from immediately running back to TM. It wasn't really avoidance. Her bedroom did need to be cleaned. Food was scarce so she had to run to the grocery store before her dad could blow through his money. And with school starting back on Monday she decided to get her laundry done and out of the way before Sunday. She thought of Jax all day.

By the time her father came in from the garage, Tara was on her way out the door. But whatever escape she was planning on making was stopped when the phone rang.

"Answer that I'm about to take a shower."

Tara glared at her father's back, biting her tongue to keep from demanding just what him getting in shower had to do with not answering the phone. In the end she felt a fight wasn't really worth it and crossed the room to the telephone. "Hello."

"You sound annoyed."

Whatever annoyance she may have felt evaporated at the sound of Jax's voice. "I knew it was you."

"Been sitting by the phone waiting for me to call?" Jax thought he could hear her eyes rolling over the phone.

"I can hang up, you know. Shouldn't you be working on your bike?"

"Done for the day, babe. I'm back home." Had been ordered home by Clay. He felt the change in the atmosphere at the garage, but no one would tell him what was going on. He'd just been told to go home with his mother.

There was a tension in his voice that she wanted to ask about, but something kept her from it. "You timed this call perfectly. I was just heading back over to TM."

"I knew you missed me." This time he was sure she was rolling her eyes and he couldn't help but chuckle. "It's okay, I missed you, too."

"Are you selling bridges too, Teller."

"Jesus Christ, you're a hard chick to compliment."

The conversation went on this way, the back and forth teasing. They fell into a few silences, but neither of them had been willing to hang up the phone. Tara heard her father getting out of the shower, heard him leave the house, she kept the phone pressed to her ear as she went out to lock up. The house grew darker, the neighborhood quieter, yet she remained on the phone.

"They should do _Real World: Charming_." Laid out on the couch in the den, Tara absently flipped through the television channels. "But instead of a house and a bunch of strangers, they should just film at the clubhouse."

Stretched out on his own couch, Jax laughed. "Then you and I would be orphans."

"I guess that's true. Would you ever consider it, being on the _Real World_?"

"Naw. You."

"God no, much rather watch. I can't wait until the new ones start. They've shown this episode of David dragging Tami out of bed like a thousand times."

"I can't believe you watch that shit."

"And _Beavis and Butthead_ is the height of intellectual television."

"It's funny as fuck."

"You are such a guy." But she was smiling as she said it. Shifting on the couch, she turned her back to the TV giving Jax her full attention.

"Damn right." Hearing his mother moving around in the kitchen, Jax got up from the couch to head down to his bedroom. "So, your old man really doesn't give a shit about you driving his car even though you don't have a license?"

"I have my permit and I'll have my license in a couple weeks. Besides, I'm an excellent driver."

"Yeah okay, Rain Man."

"Shut up. You're just jealous because I'll be sixteen and a licensed driver long before you."

"Jealous? I can't wait for you to get your license and your old man's car more often." A sly smile curled on his lips. "That way I can see if that backseat is as roomy as it looks."

"Do you ever shut it off?"

"Not even for a second, babe. Admit it, you love it."

Of course she did, it was kind of hard not to fall for Jax's charm. "Feel sorry for you actually. All these years, someone should have told you that you're not as charming as you think you are. Actually it's the only reason I hang out with you, keep that over inflated ego of yours in check."

"You know, Tara, your life would be a whole lot easier if you'd just admit to yourself how much you want me."

Tara sighed. She seriously doubted that.


	7. Chapter 7

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 7**

Going to stand in front of the mirror over his dresser, Jax glanced over his shoulder at the alarm clock next to his bed. He had time, plenty of time, and it wasn't exactly a fact that sat well with him. Despite spending several hours on the phone with Tara the night before, he couldn't wait to see her again. But he wasn't about to rush over to her house like some dork. He'd play it cool, no matter how annoyed he was with time moving at a fucking crawl.

Opening the top drawer he pulled out a white T-shirt, shrugging it on before reaching out to grab the dark blue sweat shirt laying on the bed.

"Heading over to the clubhouse?"

Jax's eyes met his mother's in the mirror. Her stance may have been relaxed as she leaned against the doorjamb but he knew her well enough to know she was anything but. "Naw. There's a party at Crafts, I'm gonna check it out."

"Since when do you do high school parties?"

"Since when are you so anxious for me to go to a party at the clubhouse?"

"Watch it smartass."

There was a grin on Jax's face as he crossed the room, stopping momentarily to place a kiss on his mother's cheek. "Love you, too."

Gemma followed him to the front of the house, eyes narrowed as she took in everything about her son. He was practically fucking skipping. Before she could ask just what brought on his mood, though she suspected the answer, the front door swung open.

"Heading over to the clubhouse already, kid?" Clay asked as he took in Jax's appearance.

"Naw, not tonight."

Clay was prepared to let him go, but just over Jax's shoulder Gemma was giving him a significant look. "Listen, kid, just want to say I'm proud of the way you handled yourself yesterday. It might not seem like it, but doing what the club asks of you, even when you want to do more, it's important."

Jax nodded. "Thanks, Clay. I'll catch you later."

Clay waited for the door to close at Jax's back before crossing the room to kiss Gemma. "Hey, baby. I tried calling last night but-"

"No, I know." Gemma patted his chest before taking his hand and pulling him into the kitchen. "It was Jax, he was on the phone all damn night."

"Bitching to Ope?"

"No, talking to Tara."

"Ric's kid?"

"Yeah. You didn't see them at the garage yesterday. She's why he didn't give you any shit about coming home. He walked right in the damn house and called her, fell asleep with the phone at his goddamn ear."

"He's in the hunt for fresh pussy." Clay gave an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "He's putting in the time, it'll be good for him. Pussy keeps falling into his lap he'll get a complex."

Pulling a cigarette out of the pack on the table, Gemma nodded but said nothing. She hoped Clay was right, unfortunately her instincts were telling her different.

* * *

><p>"Where you going?"<p>

Standing in front of the mirror in her bathroom, Tara barely glanced at her father as she carefully applied her eye-liner. "Party."

Eric took in his daughter's appearance. Really he didn't have a problem with the jeans and combat boots she wore but he struggled with her leaving the house wearing a shirt that exposed everything but her boobs. And that was only just barely. He couldn't quite remember when she grew up on him. "Where at?"

"Crafts. He's never been by here so I don't think you know him."

Eric nodded. "Oh. The Eglee's girl going with you?"

"No, she's still grounded." Setting down the eye-liner, Tara turned to face her father. She could tell by the relaxed state of his face that he'd already had a beer or two. And the uncertainty in his eyes let her know that he wasn't entirely sure of his boundaries with her. "It's okay if I go, right."

Something told Eric she wasn't really asking. Part of him wondered what would happen if he told her no. "Yeah, sure. Just, uh, be careful?"

"I will. Don't worry."

Eric wanted to say something else, but didn't know what else there was to say. Thankfully he was saved from having to say anything when there was a knock on the door. "I'll-"

"No," Tara began quickly. "I got it." Rushing out of the bathroom she snatched up the short leather jacket laying on her bed before heading out of the room.

With a shrug, Eric let her go. Deciding to head to the kitchen for another beer before heading out himself.

"Goddamn, Tara."

It was the sound of the boy's voice that had Eric stopping in his tracks. It was one thing to hear a kid addressing his daughter with that much…lust in his voice. It was entirely another, and that much worse, when the kid was Jax Teller. Eric knew John, knew he was a good man and held a lot of respect for him. But he'd seen Jax around the club, the kid went through girls like tissue paper.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Teller."

"Thanks." Unable to help himself, Jax slid his hand around Tara's waist, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Allowing his hand to slid across her ass to her hips so that he could take her hand, Jax started to pull her out of the house when he finally caught sight of her father. "How's it going, Mr. Knowles?"

"Jax." It seemed that the boy's name was all Eric could manage. He'd seen the way the kid had kissed his daughter, worse he'd seen the way the kid had touched her. But more than that, the knowing smirk on the little shit's face had him wishing his gun wasn't so far away. "Tara…you don't…don't stay out too late."

Confusion played briefly over Tara's features. "Okay."

She was humoring him, Eric could tell by the tone of her voice. He was aware enough to know that he'd been lax in parenting Tara since her mother died. Mostly he didn't give it much thought. But as he watched her waltz out of the house, beaming at Jax Teller, he began to regret it.

* * *

><p>Jax kept his hands on her all night, fingertips along the small of her back, his thumb rubbing circles on his stomach, palms sliding over her ass. It was like he couldn't help himself. As long as she was besides him, he had to touch her. Not that Tara didn't try to deter him when he got a little too 'handsy', as she called it. The thing is he liked the way she tried to stop him. He liked how she didn't playfully slap at him or half-heartedly push his hands away. She let him go as far as she wanted him too and when she felt it was too much she'd simply link her fingers with his to keep his hands where she wanted them.<p>

"So what's Candy's release date?"

Fingers still locked between Jax's, Tara looked over at Opie. He'd took off on them the moment they walked into the house. She wasn't sure where he'd been and had no idea when he came back. "I don't know. Her cell door slammed shut the second Mr. Eglee saw her report card." She had to lean over so that he could hear her over the music. Thanks to Jax she wasn't able to lean far.

"That's fucked up." Opie muttered as he raised his beer to his lips. "How'd her grades get so screwed up? Don't you two study together?"

"They're not _that_ bad." Tara rolled her eyes. "Just not up to Mr. Eglee's standards that's all."

Opie nodded, his eyes narrowed slightly. "How'd you do?"

Tara shrugged. "I did alright."

They shared a smile Jax didn't quite understand or care about. "Can we stop talking about the Eglee's and grades? Hey Op, why don't you go get my girl a drink?"

"Why don't _you_ go get your girl a drink?" Opie tossed back.

With a grin Tara pressed closer to Jax, lips brushing his ear as she spoke. "I am thirsty."

He wanted to say no, any other girl he probably would have. But when she pulled back there was a teasing grin tugging at the corners of her mouth, mischief doing amazing things to her eyes. "Alright." Slipping his fingers from hers, he placed his hands on her hips to set her back a step but not before placing a quick kiss on her lips.

Once Jax disappeared into the crowd, Tara turned her attention to Opie. "What's with all the questions about Candy?"

"It was either find something to talk about or listen to you and Jax make out all night." She rolled her eyes and Opie grinned. "Keep that up, your eyes are going to get stuck like that."

"Who are you Piney?"

"When the old man's right he's right?" Opie paused, looking around Tara to make sure Jax wasn't coming back. "Speaking of the old man, I don't know how much you told Jax about yours." Something flashed across her face. It was there and gone so fast he'd have missed it if he didn't know her. "I didn't tell him anything. About your old man, you crashing with us sometimes, anything."

Tara gave a sigh of relief. Things with Jax were still new, so new in fact she didn't even know if it would ever carry a label. He didn't need to know about her dad, at least not any more than what everyone else knew. "Thanks, Op."

He shrugged. "No problem." Catching sight of Jax coming back, Opie pushed off the wall. "Well I'll leave you two love birds alone. Come find me when you're ready to go."

* * *

><p>"I wanna dance."<p>

Two drinks later and Tara didn't bother to police Jax's hands. In fact, her hands were doing their own roaming. Not that Jax minded, he just kind of figured she'd handle her liquor a little better. Clearly they were going to have to work on that.

"I don't dance, darlin'."

"Don't call me 'darlin'." The response was knee jerk, one she tossed out at him before. But the delivery lacked bite. "And I'm not asking you to dance. I'm asking you to dance with me." She dropped her head onto his shoulder. He smelled so good, she didn't know why she was surprised by that. Thought maybe it had something to do with her knowing that he spent a lot of time at the clubhouse and having first hand knowledge of just how rank that place was.

"Well I guess that changes things a bit." There was a laugh in Jax's voice. "But I don't dance, _babe_. Not with you or anyone."

"I'll dance without you."

"No you won't." His arms tightened around her. "You like it right here with me too much."

"I do like it here." Tara readily agreed, lips brushing along his jaw as she spoke. "But I _love_ this song."

"You don't even know what this song is." Jax challenged.

"_Enjoy The Silence_. I listen to this CD all the time."

"What? How can anybody love this new wave shit. Especially someone who has every album the Beastie Boys ever made."

"I'm a girl of many layers, Teller." Even as she said it, Tara took a step back. Sliding her hand down his arm to lock with his she pulled him into the living room where everyone else was dancing. "How can you not like Depeche Mode?" The question was muttered as she turned to face him.

Almost positive that he told her he wasn't dancing, Jax wasn't sure how he found himself doing exactly that. But as Tara's arms circled his neck and she pressed her body flush to his, he wondered why he didn't agree to this sooner.

It wasn't dancing, but Tara wasn't exactly bothered by that. Jax was so…solid against her. So _real_ in a way nothing in her life had been for a very long time. It scared her, she could admit it scared her. But right now, in this moment, she was a little drunk and willing to just go with it.

"I think I'm starting to like Depeche Mode." Jax mumbled softly into her neck.

With a soft laugh Tara pulled back until her lips were at his ear. "I think I'm starting to like you."

Jax pulled back as well, there was a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, but his eyes were serious as they locked onto hers. "Yeah?" He wanted her to answer, but she simply nodded and that seemed to be enough. There wasn't much space between them to begin with so it was nothing for him to dip his head and press his mouth to hers.

* * *

><p>The adrenaline from the night had eased by the time Tara was back in the cab of Opie's truck, head resting on Jax's shoulder as she did her best to stay awake. She thought she liked the car ride better than the party. Sitting between Jax and Opie, both of them talking softly, she felt safe. With Opie's quiet energy and Jax's everything but quiet energy, she felt balanced out. She would have happily stayed there had she not finally noticed where they were.<p>

"Where are you going?"

Opie and Jax glanced at Tara, both sure she'd been sleeping. "We're taking you home."

"Shouldn't we drop you off first. Unless you're staying the night at Opie's."

Jax had considered it, but Gemma had been hovering lately. He didn't know what it was about, just knew that if he wanted her off his back later he needed to be where she could see him now. "I like knowing you want me close, babe, but I'll be sleeping in my own bed tonight."

"Then we should drop you off first. There's no need for Opie to drop me off, head away from his house, drop you off and then drive back." Tara shook her head. "That's crazy."

Opie kept his eyes on the road. "She's right, brother." And even as he said it he was turning the truck around and heading towards Jax's house.

At this point Jax realized that arguing would only make him seem like a selfish ass, so he stayed quiet even though he wasn't happy with this turn. It made him realize how important it was to get his bike running, to get his license. Because counting on another guy to get his girl home was bullshit.

"Don't worry, Teller," Tara leaned in to kiss Jax on the cheek. "I'll get you to your door safely."

It didn't take long to get to Jax's house. His mother's car was in the drive, but he kind of figured it would be. Tara was true to her word, however, climbing out of the truck behind him. Jax didn't let her get to the door, didn't trust Gemma not to swing it open and surprise them. Instead he chose to back her against the hood of the truck, trusting his best friend to avert his gaze without having to tell him.

"You work this weekend, right?"

Tara nodded. "And you're going to be working on your bike." She didn't wait for him to answer, as she already knew what he woudl say. "I go in late on Saturday. But I get off early on Sunday, I could come by the garage. Keep you company while you work."

Jax grinned. "That'll work."

Once again his voice was soft as he leaned in but it was Tara who closed the gap between them. Her hands fisting in his sweatshirt to pull him closer. Her lips were soft, teasing, as they toyed with his. He didn't realize he could like a kiss like this.

Tara loved that he let her kiss him this way. She happened to really like his mouth, especially those lips that could curl and turn her insides to liquid. She wanted to spend hours on his mouth-nibble absently on his top lip, suck contentedly on his bottom. Her mind overflowed with ways she could entertain herself with his mouth. Unfortunately none of those ways included standing in front of his house leaning against Opie's truck. "Call me in an hour."

"Yeah, alright." He gave her one last lingering kiss before turning to head into the house.

When Tara climbed back into Opie's truck she was grinning from ear to ear, her fingers brushing over her lips as if they could recreate the kisses she shared with Jax.

"The two of you are killing me." Opie muttered as he backed out of the drive.

"Shut up." But her words lacked heat. She loved being with Jax, loved the way he could make her feel out of control yet completely grounded.

Unfortunately her good mood vanished when they pulled to a stop in front of her house and she saw her father's car in the drive, at least it was partially in the drive. Tara considered it a miracle he didn't drive straight through the front door.

"I can take you back to my place." Opie reminded softly. "If you want to go in, get a few things, I can wait."

Tara shook her head. The house was dark, quiet, it meant her father wasn't feeling violent. He was just feeling sorry for himself. It was worse, sometimes it was so much worse than when he was violent. But she couldn't just leave him in whatever mess he made of himself inside. "No, it's okay. Thanks for the lift, Opie."

"No, problem."

When she climbed out of the truck she didn't dare look back. Thought that if she looked back at that escape, she'd run right back to it. So she kept her attention forward as she steeled herself for whatever she was going to find inside the house.

He was in the kitchen, the only light in the room coming from the small fixture above the sink. There was a bottle of Jack at his elbow on the table, looking out of place amongst the albums and pictures scattered there. "Dad," For a moment she imagined his head popping up and there being pictures stuck to his face. "Dad."

Eric made an unintelligible noise, his arm shooting out and nearly knocking over the bottle of whiskey. Tara moved quickly to catch it, she was too tired to mop up booze tonight. Standing over her father the way she was now, she placed a hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. It took awhile, it always did, but his head finally came up.

"Come on, Dad." Tara's voice was soft as she gazed at the pictures spread out on the table. She hardly recognized the faces staring back out at her. The dark haired young couple smiling happily at one another, the little girl without a care in the world. She didn't connect with those people. It was like looking at someone else's family photo album. "You need to go to bed."

Tara flinched when his hand came up. It wasn't often, but sometimes she misjudged the mood he was in. Thankfully this wasn't one of those times as he simply covered her hand with his own.

"I ever tell you I was in the room when you were born, kiddo." With the hand not covering his daughter's, Eric reached out for a picture. A wistful smile on his face as he stared at the little pink bundle in the photo. "It wasn't all that common back then. But I wanted to be there. And the hospital didn't want me to cause a scene."

The words caused a smile to tug at the corners of her lips, because that sounded a lot like the man she could remember.

"I wasn't much use to your mother, worried the shit out of the doctors, but none of that mattered much. Didn't matter at all when you came screaming into the world. I could fit you…" He moved his arms as if he was cradling a baby out in front of him. "Right here, right in the palm of my hands. I don't…I just don't know when you grew up on me, Tara-girl."

His tears started and with them so did her resentment. Tara slipped her hand from his to ease her arm around his shoulder. "Time for bed, Dad."

Eric pushed back from the table, kept the picture in his hand as he leaned his weight on his daughter. "Fuck, you were a beautiful baby. Piney told me to be careful, beautiful baby girls become beautiful women." He stopped walking, dropped his head to hears. "You weren't suppose to do that so soon."

It wasn't the first time he breathed whiskey into her face, but it was no more pleasant than it had been any other time. "I'm not even sixteen, yet."

"But you will be." He started walking again, stumbling down the hall and into his bedroom. "You gotta slow down, slow down just a bit." He dropped into the bed, unaware of the small push his daughter gave him. But he didn't let her walk away, simply reached out to grab her wrist. "You can't leave me, yet, kiddo. Promise, promise you'll slow down and stay with me a bit longer."

Tara closed her eyes, wishing so much that she could hate him. Wished she hadn't seen that fear and panic in his eyes. Wished she hadn't seen the loving way he stared at her baby picture. If he was as empty as the bottles he left scattered around, she could tell him the truth and not feel guilty. If she hated him, she could lie and not feel guilty as shit for doing so. "I promise, Dad."

His lips curled but the smile never fully formed before he passed out. Tara watched him for a moment, had to fight the urge to drop down next to the bed and cry. Probably would have done just that if the phone hadn't rang. She practically ran out of the room, needing to put space between herself and her father. Grabbing the cordless off the table in the hall she carried it with her to her bedroom. "Hello?"

"I realized it wasn't going to take you an hour to get home."

At the sound of Jax's voice all the feelings her father caused inside of her melted away. "Look at you using something other than that pretty face." She locked her bedroom door, in her mind she was locking out the entire world.


	8. Chapter 8

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 8**

It was sometime between writing her dad a note letting him know she was taking the Cutlass and practically coasting through town to avoid getting pulled over that Tara realized she was going to have to get a hang on this thing she and Jax had going. She woke up Saturday morning to Jax's soft snores in her ear and realized that they once again fell asleep while they were talking on the phone. And because they had talked so late into the night, or early into the morning, she ended up sleeping late. And woke up with barely enough time to shower and grab something to eat before rushing out the door to work. When he called Saturday night she swore she'd get off the phone before falling asleep like a normal person. It didn't happen and because she didn't know how to stop talking to him, she was nearly late for work Sunday morning. Now here it was Monday and she was exhausted. The only reason she and Jax hadn't talked on the phone until dawn was because Gemma had picked up while they were both dozing off and forced them to hang up.

But it was because she was so tired that she refused to walk to school and chose instead to take her dad's car. He wouldn't mind, likely wouldn't notice as she'd be home long before he rolled over. She'd been so tired she considered not even going to school. It was the thought of seeing Jax that pushed her out of the bed.

"Hey, Tara."

"Hey, Vickie." It took a few moments for her mind to catch up, for Tara to remember needing to talk to Vickie. "Shit. Hey, Vickie, wait up a second."

"Yeah."

Vickie looked bored, but Vickie always looked bored. Everything about her screamed her desire not to be bothered. Tara always got along with her well enough, maybe because Tara went through periods of time when _she_ didn't want to be bothered. But their ability to co-exist was what lead to Lowell asking Tara to set him up. It had been a weird request, but Lowell was weird and so was Vickie. Once she thought about it, it made perfect since. Now she wished she'd have just stayed out of it. Because now she felt responsible.

"I ran into Lowell in Lodi last week."

Vickie shrugged, face completely blank. "And?"

"The day you guys were suppose to go to the movies?" Tara continued, no way Vickie didn't know what she was talking about. Lowell didn't go to Lodi that damn often. "When you left him there."

"Oh." Vickie rolled her eyes. "So what?"

Something spiked in Tara, had her tightening her hand around the strap of her backpack. She had to take a second, bite back her initial response, get her breathing under control. She didn't expect Vickie to become a blubbering apologizing mess. But to act like nothing happened? Even her father, who could get so drunk he'd forget where he lived, had enough decency to apologize when he became violent. "So…" She wanted to slap the bored look off the girl's face. Shake her until she realized what she did wasn't cool. It took all she had to bury her anger deep. Once she felt she had some control, she decided to do what Lowell couldn't. "It's just too bad things had to end like that."

"Excuse me."

Tara resisted the urge to smirk at finally getting a reaction from Vickie. She didn't truly understand the emotion that flickered in the other girl's eyes but she didn't spend too much time worrying over it either. She was just glad that Vickie understood just what she was getting at. "I wanted to say I'm sorry things didn't work out between the two of you. You know, with you guys being _over_ now."

"Lowell and I-"

"Just weren't compatible." Tara finished. "It happens. See you around." She walked away before Vickie could say anything else. It may not have been the best way to handle things. But she doubted Lowell would have broken up with Vickie. Doubted he'd appreciate her doing it for him. But she couldn't let Lowell stay with Vickie, not if the crazy bitch was slapping him around.

Lowell may have been able to refrain from hitting Vickie the first time, but what were the odds he'd be able to keep his hands to himself if she did it again? Tara figured she was doing everybody a favor by breaking the two of them up.

"Tara!"

Mere seconds passed between her name being shouted and she found herself wrapped in a tight hug. And it was with a laugh that Tara wrapped her arms around her enthusiastic friend.

"Isn't it wonderful?" Candy continued with a grin that was almost crazed. "The sun, the fresh air, the outsidedness."

"The outsidedness?" Pulling back, she couldn't keep the grin off her face. "Getting high off the freedom, are we?"

"I'd freebase the freedom if I could."

"Oh my God, Candy." Tara laughed, only now realizing just how much she missed her friend. "Are you sprung for good? Or are you on school release."

"I'm free! _Free_, free. You know now that everyone's back in school and the parties are over." She rolled her eyes before stepping back to survey the quad. "So? I've been cut off for a week. What'd I missed?"

Before Tara could answer, Jax came up behind her. His arm locked around her waist, pulling her tight to his chest. Burying his face in her neck he placed several loud, messy kisses there. Reaching back Tara ran her hand through his hair, holding him to her for a moment before pushing him away. When she turned to face him, he had a knowing grin on his face.

"Be right back. Gotta catch up with, Op." Jax muttered softly against her jaw.

"Catch up? How'd you get to school?"

"My mom dropped me off."

Something about his mother dropping him off at school, and him not being the least bit embarrassed by that, made Tara smile. "Well aren't you a special boy."

Jax grinned as he leaned in to kiss her. "I am a special boy."

Tara watched him walk away, a wistful smile on her lips when she turned back to Candy who had watched the entire exchange with wide eyes.

"You and Jax? I can't believe I missed that."

"There isn't a me and Jax." Tara denied, unaware that there was a smile on her lips that said otherwise. "We're just hanging out."

"Bullshit." Candy called immediately, but she knew her friend. Knew if she pushed Tara would just shut down. It was a struggle not to ask because she _really_ wanted to know just what was going on between them. "So I saw you and Vickie. What was that about?"

"Just needed to talk to her about something."

"Little early for tips on ritual sacrifices or bathing in the blood of virgins isn't it?"

"Wow, Candy. How do you really feel?"

Candy gave an indifferent jerk of her shoulder as they started walking towards the school. "I just don't like her. And I really don't like the way she talks to Lowell, it's unnecessary."

Stopping in her tracks Tara turned to look at her friend. "Why didn't you say something to me about this before?"

"Because I didn't want you to get kicked out of school. And I don't want you to get kicked out now. Whatever Vickie did, just leave her alone."

"I'm not going to do anything." The words were more a reminder to herself than anything. "I just needed to talk to her."

"Talk to who." Jax asked as he once again caught up with them. This time he fell right into step with Tara, his arm sliding around her waist.

"Vickie." Both girls answered.

"I'm glad you remembered not to look her directly in the eye while talking to her." Opie began with an easy grin. "Hate to see you turned to stone."

"Makes two of us." Jax murmured as he nuzzled her ear.

Tilting her head to give him better access, Tara smiled as her hand came up to tangle in his hair. "Yeah?"

Candy watched as the couple seemed to get completely lost in one another. "Are they serious?"

" 'Fraid so." Opie confirmed with a sigh. "Come on," Absently he placed his hand on the small of Candy's back, turning her away from their friends. "I'll walk you to class. They can be like that for awhile."

* * *

><p>Jax and Tara made it to class just as the final bell sounded. He tried to talk her into ditching with him, she ended up dragging him to class with her. They both wore wide, ridiculous grins as they made their way to their seats. Only Jax's dropped off when he realized Opie was now sitting in what had been his desk.<p>

"That's really fucked up, bro." Jax muttered as he took Opie's old desk but much like his friend had before he angled it so that he was closer to Tara.

"I figured you two could use some time apart." Opie answered with a grin. "Learn to miss each other a bit."

Tara turned in her desk, eyes on Opie even though her head was cocked towards Candy who was in the desk across from her. "Got nothing to gain out of this, Op."

"Nope." But he hadn't been able to maintain eye contact with her and the smirk she gave him in return was a clear indication that she knew he'd been lying. Fortunately for Opie, she didn't say anything else, simply turned back towards the front of the class as Mr. Horton began to speak.

The class went by uneventfully. Mr. Horton simply spent the time going over the new reading list, which consisted of a _lot_ of Shakespeare. He sent Tara a pointed look as he passed out the plays, she thought she was imagining it until Opie leaned up in his desk.

"You think your little oral sex outburst caused him to change up the reading list."

"Because Shakespeare is _so_ tame?"

Opie only chuckled as he leaned back in his desk.

As class ended they all began to shuffle out, Tara tried to catch David's attention-she hadn't seen him since before the break-but he walked out of the room as if he hadn't seen her. She wasn't stupid enough not to have some idea of what his problem was, but she really hoped he could get over it. David had been her friend for a long time and the last thing she wanted was to lose his friendship.

"Can we leave now?"

The question, as well as Jax wrapping his arms around her waist and walking her to her locker, snapped Tara out of her thoughts. "Are you serious? We've only been to one class."

"And that's one class more than I planned on attending." Jax admitted as he leaned on the bank of lockers next to hers. "Let's go back to my house," A slow, wicked grin spread across his lips. "My mom's not there. We can take a nap."

"I highly doubt napping is what you really want to do."

"Well it's not _all_ I want to do." Jax admitted.

Tara was tempted, _really_ tempted. Sure she and Jax had spent a lot of time together recently, but the only time they were alone was when they were on the phone. The thought of having him to herself in an empty house had her itching to take him up on his offer. "It's the first day back. I'll ditch with you, you know I have no problem ditching, but not on the first day back. That's crazy."

"You're really going to make me go home alone."

"Not alone. I'm sure Opie'll go with you." Tara teased as she closed her locker. When he merely rolled his eyes she took his hand to pull him up the hall with her. "What classes do you have that you're so eager to get out of?"

"You mean that you're so eager to make me go to." Jax corrected as he pulled his schedule out of his back pocket and handed it to her.

"I'm so sorry that I'm keeping you from a life of delinquency." Tara muttered as she looked over his schedule. "Come on, we have last period Art together."

She shot him a smile that made his decision before he even realized it. "I don't even remember signing up for Art."

"That's because you probably didn't. I'll see you at lunch?"

Jax gave an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "Maybe." With a teasing smirk he leaned in to kiss her lightly on the lips. "I'll see you around."

* * *

><p>By the end of the day, as he was walking out of Art, Jax wasn't sure just what this girl was doing to him. He really never intended to stay in school the whole day. Actually thought her asking him to stay was reason enough to leave. But he'd gone through the day, the entire time asking himself just what the hell he was doing. The question didn't seem so important at lunch while he sat with Tara in the bed of Opie's truck.<p>

It's not that he had trouble with his classes, he wasn't a idiot. He had no problem keeping up. He just didn't see the point of going to class when he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life. And he didn't need a high school diploma to do it. So school didn't hold his interest. The problem was that Tara did.

He liked everything about her. Every day he spent with her, every conversation they had, he ended up learning more and more about her. He thought his interest would wane, but the more he learned about her the more he wanted to know. He like how easy things were with her, that they could talk for hours and it wouldn't get boring. This, what they had going, was new for him. But he was really liking everything about it.

"Told you staying all day wouldn't kill you."

Jax merely shrugged as he tossed his arm around her shoulders. "Not for lack of trying. You're off today, right?"

"Yeah." Lifting her hand, Tara linked her fingers with the ones hanging over her shoulder. "How long do you think you're going to work on your bike today?"

"I don't know." He knew he should dedicate the rest of his day to his bike. With Tara at the garage on Sunday he didn't get much work done. It was just that Tara had not only asked about what he'd been doing, she seemed genuinely interested. So he found himself explaining what he had done, what he was doing, and what he still needed to do.

Later, after she had left, his mother commented that maybe it wasn't a good idea for Tara to come around while he was working since he was so easily distracted by her. Jax couldn't deny she was probably right, but he wasn't about to tell Tara to stay away. He didn't _want_ her to stay away. "Why?"

"Well," Tara wanted to go to the garage to watch him work again. But as his mother had pointed out to her on Sunday, and what she had been able to admit was true, Jax didn't get a lot of work done while she was there. She knew she asked a lot of questions, it was just that she was fascinated by the parts and pieces of the bike. And she was curious to know how they made up the whole. But she didn't want to distract him. Jax always got this look on his face when he talked about his bike, she thought she was beginning to understand just what it meant to him. The last thing she wanted was to be the reason he didn't get it up and running. So she'd refrain from going by the garage while he worked. It wasn't a big deal, so long as she got to see him after. "I was thinking maybe when you finish, you can come by my place. We can order a pizza, watch a movie?"

Jax stopped walking. Keeping his arm around Tara's shoulders, he moved until he was standing in front of her. "You asking me out?"

"I'm asking you over to my house. Make a big deal out of this and I'll take it back."

"Too late to take it back now, babe." There was a wide satisfied grin on his face. "I can get there around six. You call it in, I can pick up the pizza on my way."

"Okay."

Before either of them could say anything else, they were interrupted by Opie. "Sorry, brother." The apology was in his eyes so that it was kind of hard for either of them to be angry. "But Lowell's in trouble."

"Fuck." Jax bit the word off as he took Tara by the hand, practically dragging her behind him.

There was a crowd of kids in the middle of the quad, Jax pushed his way through, releasing Tara's hand when he reached the center. "Hey," His voice was loud, cutting through the cheers of all the other kids. "Three against one were pussy odds last I checked."

Mark King, who was throwing most of the punches, stepped back to glare at Jax. "This is none of your fucking business, Teller."

Jax got a dangerous smirk on his face, Tara thought she should do something. Grab his hand, call out to him, anything to keep him from stepping any further into the circle. She knew why he was doing what he was doing. He wasn't looking for a fight, looking to cause trouble, he had to step in because poor Lowell was getting his ass handed to him. But she thought she should try to get him to handle this without resorting to violence.

Before she could decide what to do or what she should do, Tara caught sight of Vickie. It was the look on the other girl's face that stopped her in her tracks. Everyone always considered Vickie odd, gave her a wide berth because she always seemed pissy and just plain weird. But what Tara saw now wasn't oddness or surliness. What was in Vickie's eyes now, what had always been there but none of them could recognize, was a meanness.

"What kind of a bitch just stands around while her cousin beats the shit out of her boyfriend?" Candy had pushed her way through the crowd to stand next to her friend.

Tara's eyes narrowed. "Cousin?"

"Yeah. Mark and Vickie are like third cousins or something."

It was like her vision tunneled. All she saw was the all too satisfied look in Vickie's eyes. The bitch was enjoying Lowell's pain. Ignoring the boys in the middle of the circle, Tara made her way towards Vickie.

"What did you do?"

Vickie was clearly surprised. Several expressions played over her face, as if she was clicking through to find the appropriate one. She settled on shock, Tara couldn't get past the satisfied one that had been there seconds ago. "Excuse me?"

"Don't." Tara bit the word off. "I don't care what lie you told Mark to get him to beat up Lowell. Tell him to stop."

"Are you seriously accusing me of getting my boyfriend beat up?" Vickie scoffed. "That's more your thing isn't it. Well, not getting them beat up, but David's ass was kicked none the less."

"Vickie." There was a warning in Tara's voice that went unheeded.

"Oh, come on, Tara. David followed you around like a puppy. And you let him, lead him on until it became your turn in Jax's bed. So you are the last person who can talk about someone mistreating a guy."

It was a direct hit and it was all Tara could do to keep from lashing out. "I don't know what _this_ is you think you're doing, but try it on someone else. Tell your cousin to stop."

"I can't. He got it in his head that Lowell likes to hit girls and he took offense." Vickie trailed off, the corners of her lips turning up in a smile.

Tara had to curl her tingling fingers into fists to keep them off the other girl. "What?"

"I told my cousin how Lowell and I got into a fight, that punches were thrown. And given Lowell's abusive loser of a father…"

"You bitch." Tara managed through clenched teeth. "Tell the truth. Now."

Pleased with herself, Vickie smirked. "Come, Tara. Everyone knows that kids like you and Lowell, you know the ones with shitty, loser fathers, repeat the behavior."

Tara would have sworn that her insides were literally shaking with rage. "Our fathers have nothing to do with you being a raging cunt."

The mean glint was back in Vickie's eyes. "That the language daddy uses when he has a few too many."

"Vickie," Tara warned. "I'm not Lowell." She hoped the girl had enough since to realize it was a warning that she'd hit her back.

"_And_?" The smirk was still on Vickie's lips as she shoved at Tara's shoulders.

Tara figured Vickie had one more time to say _and,_ shove her or smirk or so help her things were going to get real ugly. "Stay away from Lowell."

"Lowell is _my_ boyfriend Knowles, stay out of our business." Vickie's hand came up, pointed towards Tara, but all hell broke loose before her fingers could so much as brush Tara's shoulder.

* * *

><p>Jax figured Mark deserved to get his ass kicked for interrupting his time with Tara. Hell, he really wanted to knocked the kid out for that alone. But getting two buddies to take out Lowell, when a strong wind could take out Lowell, that shit deserved humiliation. The prospect of a fight had his blood pumping. And it seemed like a good idea to work out a lot of excess energy now before meeting up with Tara later.<p>

"I didn't say it was my business. Just figured we should even the odds a bit. Right, Ope?"

"Yeah. Football dicks are always about rules and shit."

"Look," Joey Lawson let go of Lowell's arm just as his friend Trent Carpenter stepped back as well. "I don't want trouble."

Just out of the corner of his eye Jax saw Tara moving but he been in enough fights to know not to turn his head. Luckily for him her destination was just across from where he stood. When he saw Vickie he figured she was simply going to ask the other girl what happened. "Naw, you don't want a _fair_ fight."

"That's what it seems like to me." Opie agreed as he reached out to help Lowell to his feet.

"Hey, guys," Lowell began to dust dirt and grass off his clothes. He ran his hand under his nose, smearing blood. "I'm okay. Alright. Let's not make a big deal out of this."

Jax frowned, he'd never known Lowell to back down from a fight. Actually it fired the kid up more when he got his ass kicked. So to see him backing down now was just fucking odd. He shot a look to Opie who merely shrugged. He hadn't been looking for a fight, he got himself fired up for one, and now he realized he was going home really fucking frustrated tonight.

"Aw, shit."

At Lowell's muttered curse, Jax followed his gaze to where Tara and Vickie were standing. His eyes narrowed, he noticed the way Tara was clenching and unclenching her fists. He'd seen her in a fight, but he'd never seen her build up to a fight before. He had to admit she was hot when she was pissed off.

Jax realized that if he hadn't been wrapped up in how Tara looked, he'd have caught the way Tara _looked_. But he wasn't aware of just how far gone she was until he saw her fist come up and connect with Vickie's face.

"Oh, shit." The words left his and Opie's mouth at the same time.

Like a herd of sharks sensing blood, kids swooped in on Tara and Vickie forgetting all about the prospect of a fight between the group of boys. By the time Jax shoved his way through, he couldn't figure out how he even got pushed to the back, Tara was straddling Vickie on the ground. Her cheek was flaming red, Vickie must have gotten a shot in, not that it really mattered as Tara was really laying into the other girl.

Moving quickly, he stooped down to wrap his arm around Tara's middle to pull her off of Vickie. It wasn't easy, he just barely missed taking a shot to the face for his troubles. By the time he pulled her across the grounds to press against the trunk of the Cutlass, her chest heaving with the anger still coursing through her, he thought she'd never been more sexy.

"You okay, slugger?" Bringing his hand up slowly, Jax rubbed his fingers softly across her flaming cheek.

"Yeah," Tara flinched away from his touch, hadn't even realized what she had done until she noticed the hurt flash in his eyes. Sorry to have caused that she reached out to slip her hand into his. "Yeah. It's just…she's such a fucking bitch."

"You just now noticing that." Opie wondered from just behind Jax's shoulder.

"Everyone thought she was weird. I said she was a fucking bitch."

"Oh." Opie nodded as if he understood. "Well, I told Candy I'd give her a ride home. I'll catch you guys later."

Jax nodded, but kept his eyes on Tara. She was shaking. He knew the feeling, that post fight adrenaline, and wanted more than anything to get her to burn it off on him.

"I hate this. I fucking hate it."

He moved closer, the hand not in hers coming up to cup her cheek. "Hate what, babe?"

"I lose control." Tara whispered the words. "And then I feel like shit because I should know better." It made her feel like her dad, only worse because she didn't have the booze to blame for her behavior. Which meant it was her and that lead to even scarier thoughts. Thoughts of her mother and that thing inside of her that she couldn't control.

"Hey," Jax waited for her to meet his gaze. "Listen, and don't get pissed at me for this, but you're only fifteen. Why do you have to have your shit together now?"

"I don't, I just…" Tara sighed. "Can't go around hitting everyone who pisses me off."

Jax jerked his shoulder indifferently, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. "Why not?"

Rolling her eyes Tara gave his shoulder a playful knock with their joined hands. "Because we can't all be the Prince of Charming."

"That's too bad. Come on," Wrapping an arm around her waist he pulled her away from the trunk to walk her around to the passenger side door. "I'll drive you home."

"Don't you have to get to the garage?"

"I'll get there. Just want make sure you don't decide to jump any body from here to your house."

"Shut up." But she climbed into car anyway. "Hey, do you even know how to drive?"

"Yes, I know how to drive. Don't worry, babe," Leaning across the bench seat, Jax pressed his mouth to hers until he felt her lips curl in a smile. "You're safe with me."


	9. Chapter 9

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: I really, _really,_ want to give a big thanks to Eve Levine for helping me, not just these next two chapters, but with this fic as a whole. Seriously would be talking myself in circles if it weren't for her.**

**Chapter 9**

"Have you seen my sister?"

With the majority of her attention on cashing out the register and marking the totals for her shift in the ledger Mr. Eglee kept, Tara didn't even bother to turn her head to look at MJ. "Nope. It seems she only hangs around now when I'm closing. Maybe she's taking your dad's orders to "buckle down" seriously."

"She's only been set free a week." MJ came up behind her, reaching over her shoulder to grab a few chips out of the bag she had sitting next to her. "Give it a little time and this whole _serious student_ act will be a thing of the past."

Tara laughed. She loved Candy but she had a feeling MJ was right. The Eglee children had many virtues, long attention spans were not one of them.

"So where is your junior biker escort?"

"When you say it like that, MJ, I start to believe you don't like Jax."

"Really." MJ's voice was heavy with sarcasm. "Don't know what would make you think that. I mean, what's not to like about Jackson 'drop your panties and treat me like I'm the shit' Teller."

"That was mean." Tara turned to him with a frown. She'd hardly ever known MJ to be mean. "And completely unnecessary."

MJ rolled his eyes, once again reaching over Tara's shoulder for her chips. "Is this the point where you tell me Teller isn't what I think he is."

"Well, he isn't." Tara hated that she sounded like she was only seconds away from stomping her foot, but she found herself offended on Jax's behalf. "Look, I'm not saying he's Jake Ryan come to life but he's _way_ more than what you're giving him credit for. Besides, you're best friends with Fain for Christ's sake. Even if Jax was a total dick you should be able to stomach him."

"Hey, what's wrong with Fain?"

"Well for starters, he goes by Fain."

"It's his last name, which you'd go by, too, if your first name was Milton."

That was a point Tara was willing to concede. "Okay what about the ridiculous way he runs his tongue over his teeth to draw attention to how sharp his incisors are. Or the way he rubs his stomach making his shirt rise so he can show off his abs. Or-"

"Okay," MJ cut her off. "I get it, Fain can be pretty obnoxious. But-"

"No 'buts'. Listen, things with Jax and I…they aren't serious. We're just hanging out." And she was sure if she kept telling herself that, she could make it true. She couldn't fall for Jax, she didn't _want_ to fall for Jax. "But he's a good guy, I think I've gotten to know him really well over the past few weeks. Regardless of whatever else happens or doesn't happen between us, I consider Jax a friend." Her brow hitched in warning. "And you know how I can get when my friends are attacked."

"Violent." MJ stated simply. "Which is another reason I don't think you and Jax should 'hang out'. I think the last thing this town needs is you two wild, violent jackasses running around together."

"Cute. You do know you are the last person who can talk about other people's taste considering the underclassmen river rats you slink around with."

"Aren't _you_ an underclassmen."

"But I'm not a slut. You're mother would be ashamed of those girls you fool around with."

"My mom has no problem with sluts." MJ's grin curled slowly. "She likes Teller, doesn't she?"

"Asshole."

They were both laughing when the bell over the door sounded. The grin Tara wore when she turned towards the door expecting to see Jax dimmed only slightly at the sight of David Hale.

"Davey!" MJ greeted, no longer reaching around Tara for her chips but picking up the entire bag and finishing them off. "What's up, man?"

"Oh my God, MJ." Tara's face was turned up in disgust. "I can feel the chips flying out of your mouth and onto the back of my neck."

"Shit, sorry, Tara." Face the picture of contrition, MJ brushed his fingers over her neck.

Seeing the two of them together, as they always had been, made David smile. This was more the Tara he was use to seeing, the Tara he liked seeing. He thought he could go the rest of his life without seeing the Tara who was glued to Jax Teller's side. "Do you guys ever get any actual work done around here?" He swore every time he came in the store, no matter what pairing was working, they were always goofing around.

"We're like Firemen." MJ began only to be cut off by Tara.

"Don't. Whatever you were just about to say, don't." And she figured only MJ could compare working in a candy store to being firemen.

David laughed at the way MJ simply rolled his eyes. "So, um, Tara. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure, I'll be right back." Picking the ledger up off the counter, Tara carried it back into the office. Because she wasn't closing and MJ would have to get the ledger out when he did, she placed it in the desk drawer as opposed to the safe. Leaving a note on the desk for Mr. Eglee regarding a few loose baskets, Tara grabbed her backpack before exiting the office again. A quick glance at her watch told her she still had a few minutes before Jax said he'd be by to walk her home.

"You know," David began when she stepped around the counter. "If you're off I can take you home."

"Thanks, but Jax is coming by to walk with me. He's probably already on his way over so…"

David nodded, did his best not to look disappointed. "Jax is, um, actually the reason I wanted to talk to you."

Tara sighed, in no mood to have this conversation twice in one day. "Look, if this is a Jax Teller is no good speech, I don't want to hear it. I just told MJ, Jax is my friend and I don't want-"

"That's not what this is." David interrupted quickly. "Jax is the reason I wanted to talk to you. But, I'm not here to talk _about_ Jax. I want to talk about me and how sorry I am for the way I've been acting."

Because it wasn't at all what she expected, though she really shouldn't have been surprised considering just how good a guy David was, she clamped her mouth shut. If he was going to say something in an attempt to make sure their friendship remained, she could shut up and listen to him.

"You and I have been friends for a long time. A really long time. And I don't want us to not be friends because of this. You hanging out…being friends with Jax. It doesn't make sense to let that, you know, mean we can't be friends anymore."

"I agree. And I'm sorry, too. I could have come to you, too. But I didn't. And I'm sorry."

David gave a wide, relieved smile. He may still have feelings for Tara, may still believe strongly that she didn't need Jax Teller in her life but he wasn't willing to let that get in the way of their friendship. "Forgiven and forgotten." He held his hand for her to shake.

"Forgiven and forgotten." Tara agreed with a nod, accepting the hand David offered.

* * *

><p>Eric heard his daughter's laughter even before he stepped out of the garage. The sound had brought a smile to his face until he saw the cause of her laughter. Once again she was coming up the street with Jax Teller pressed close to her side. The boy had his arms wrapped around her middle, Eric couldn't figure out how they managed to walk tangled up with each other the way they were.<p>

"They've been spending a lot of time together recently."

Eric didn't bother turning his attention towards Piney. "Yeah."

Piney looked down at the younger man for a moment before turning his gaze back towards the couple moving steadily closer. He thought this was maybe the first time he saw something like fatherly concern on Eric's face. Not that he could blame him. Every time he saw Tara he found himself thanking God he had a son instead of a daughter. "Jax is a good kid. He's got a lot of JT in him."

"Well," Eric didn't have the inside track with the club as he would have had he patched. But members talked, even about their much loved and dearly departed leader. And if it was true that JT was dropping kids across the globe the last thing he wanted to hear was that JT's boy was just like him. "Good thing is since she started running around with him she hasn't talked about getting away from here as much."

"Your girl's got big dreams. And she's smart enough to make them happen." Piney eyed Eric wearily. The man may not have been the world's best father, a fact Piney knew better than just about anyone, but it was plain to see that Eric was scared shitless to lose his little girl. "That's a good thing." His tone was pointed. It seemed Tara had been itching to get out of Charming since her mother died. And Piney thought if she could use that big brain of hers to do it, no one, not even her own father, should try to stop her.

"I know. Still, would it be such a bad thing if she meets a nice guy," A guy who wasn't Jax Teller. "Marries him and stays in Charming. You know, like your boy. Opie's a good kid. He and Tara get along, have a lot in common."

Piney shook his head but figured it was a good idea to change the subject. "You remember she's got a birthday coming up."

"She's my kid, Piney." Eric muttered unhappily as Jax and Tara finally reached the house. "I remember the day she was born."

"What the fuck," There was a frown on Jax's face as he saw the large truck in Tara's driveway. "Are you guys moving?"

"No." Tara laughed. She wasn't sure but she thought she heard just a hint of panic in his voice. "My dad's making a delivery today. He rents the truck from Chief Unser."

"Oh." In an attempt to play the whole thing off, Jax tossed his arm around Tara's shoulder. He heard the panic in his own voice, felt it coursing through him at the thought of Tara moving away. He didn't know what to make of the reaction and chose to ignore it. "So what you're saying is that your old man will be leaving soon."

"Of course that's what you heard."

"Kid," Piney's voice was harsh, stopping any forward progress Jax and Tara could make into the house. "If you think you're going to go inside and sit under that girl while I'm out here working my ass off, you got another thing coming. Get over here and help us with this."

"Come on, Piney."

"Now, boy." Piney's voice broke no argument.

The grin on Tara's face was completely unapologetic. "You heard him, _boy."_

"It sounds kind of cute when you say it." Leaning over, Jax brushed his lips along her jaw. He watched her cut across the lawn to the front door, his eyes lingering appreciatively on her ass before making his way up the drive to the garage. "How's it going, Mr. Knowles?

Eric nodded. He wasn't entirely sure what to do in this situation. Did he take the boy by the shoulder and threaten him within an inch of his life? Did he try to make nice with kid? In the end he decided to act as if Jax was any other kid, it just seemed safer that way. "It's going. We, uh, we need to get this china cabinet onto the truck." He turned back into the garage, hardly sparing the boy a glance.

Jax started into the garage as well but was stopped when Piney's hand came down hard on his shoulder.

"Tara's a good girl." Piney tightened his hand on Jax's shoulder. "You'd do well to remember that."

Jax's brow creased in confusion. He hardly expected to be having this conversation with Tara's father, so to be having it with Piney was an even bigger surprise. But he knew Piney, knew he wasn't expected to argue or say anything at all really. Unless he wanted the man's bear claw of a hand to come down hard on the side of his head. So he nodded, kept his head down, and followed Tara's father into the garage.

* * *

><p>The last thing Jax had planned on doing when he walked Tara home was move furniture. He resented Piney asking him, resented every second he spent in the garage and not in the house with Tara. When he finally stepped into the house his mood was a little sour as his shoulder was fucking killing him. Didn't understand how he ended up carrying the heaviest part of the cabinet alone.<p>

His mood lifted greatly, however, when Tara caught the way he was favoring his shoulder and offered to massage it for him. He had considered it a win, when he came into the house and saw that Tara had changed into a pair _really_ small shorts and tank top. Now he figured it would be a good idea to always help her old man. Especially if helping resulted in this-sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Tara's bare legs pressed against him as her hands moved purposefully over his shoulders.

"Where'd you learn to do this?"

Tara grinned at the moan in Jax's voice. There wasn't a single knot left in his shoulders but she just couldn't stop touching him. "I'm just really good with my hands."

The words and the image it created, had all the muscles in Jax's stomach clenching. "Aw, fuck."

Emboldened by his reaction, Tara allowed her hands to drift lower. Her fingers danced along his chest, dipping a bit lower to touch his abs. "You know when I was little, before my mom died, my dad use to work for hours. It would be like he'd get this creative jolt and he'd be out in the garage until he completely burned out. When he would come in, his hands would be a mess. Once he worked for sixteen hours straight. My mom had to practically pry the tools out of his hands."

Jax found himself drifting along to the sound of her voice. He couldn't describe what she was doing to him. Her hands touching him, setting every nerve in his body completely on edge. Yet at the same time, her voice was so soft, so wistful, it soothed something inside of him.

"Whenever that happened, she'd take him into the kitchen sit him at the table and massage his hands. Sometimes, she'd pull me onto her lap and I'd massage one hand while she did the other." She'd given up all pretense of massaging him and was now simply running her fingers along his neck, shoulders, and back. "I had this paint set. This Fischer Price thing. I'd paint one picture and then run to my mom so she could massage my hands."

"Would she do it?"

It wasn't until she heard his voice that Tara was aware of having spoke. Made her wish her words had been tied together with a string so she could pull them back. Memories of her mother, they were something she was careful never to give away. As she always feared that opening them up and revealing them to others made them all the more vulnerable to be crushed.

Tara may have been a child when her mother died, but she understood the deliberateness of her death. Her father tried explaining that it was an accident but there had been no scenario her nine year old mind could come up with that would result in her mother 'accidentally' hanging from a tree. And she hated her for it. Hated her mother because she thought they were happy when, obviously, they weren't. Setting flame to all her memories. The days leading up to the funeral Tara found herself thinking she was glad her mother was dead. Figuring they were better off without her if they made her so unhappy.

It was possible she would have continued to hate her mother had it not been for Piney. After the funeral, Eric decided he didn't want to go back to the house so he took Tara by the hand lead her to the Cutlass and drove them both to the bar. It was there Piney found them, Tara couldn't imagine the sight they made. The attractive young man and the small child dressed in their Sunday's best and belly up to the bar.

While her father had slinked off to the bathroom, Tara found herself admitting to Piney just how much she hated her mother. He had sighed, looking very much like a trapped bear. It seemed he wanted to ignore her, like he was going to ignore her until his large hand came down on her back. His voice was soft, but rough and intense in a way that made her believe him when he said, _"Look, kid. Your ma, she loved you. But she just had something inside her, something she couldn't control. Like a cancer. That's what made her do what she did. It's wrong to hate her for something she couldn't control. It wasn't her fault. Wasn't anybody's fault. You hear me."_ And he gave her a pointed look that Tara didn't interpret until years later as his way of making sure she didn't blame herself.

"Yeah." Tara smiled, not only remembering her mother but the big, rough, man who made sure her memories stayed sweet. She never shared her memories with anyone, wasn't sure why she was sharing them with Jax. Even more she didn't know why she was so sure they were safe with him.

"You know, thinking about your mom…I don't think she liked me too much."

"What was there to like? You were a little shit."

"You liked me."

"Not really."

"Hey," Reluctantly Jax moved away from her hands so that he could turn and face her. He braced his hands on either side of her hips essentially trapping her between his arms. "Are you trying to hurt my feelings?"

With a grin Tara wrapped threw her arms around his shoulders, fingers immediately tangling in the soft hair at the back of his neck. "Just keeping that massive ego of yours in check."

"Got your job cut out for you, babe."

"Don't I know it." But she could admit it was a job she didn't mind. And to prove it she leaned forward to press her lips to his.

Shifting just a bit more, Jax placed his hands on her bare thighs. Her skin was so soft, made him feel like if he pressed down too hard he'd leave bruises on her. And he found himself both liking and disliking that feeling. "Can I have another one of those?"

"Since you asked so nicely." She moved in again, this time her lips lingering just a bit longer. And when she drew back, she didn't go very far.

"Another."

Tara's hands came up until her fingers could tangle fully in his hair. Tilting her head slightly she angled her mouth over his, using teasing flicks of her tongue to coax his mouth open. When his tongue slid over hers she couldn't bite back the moan.

"When's your dad getting back?" Jax drew back just far enough to whisper the question across her lips.

"Late." She pressed closer, shuddering at the way the heat pumped off of him and into her.

Jax locked one arm around her waist, flipping her over onto her back before she realized what he intended to do. "Good."

"Wait," Tara pressed her hand to his chest before he could stretch out over her. She thought he had controlled this aspect of their relationship for far too long. Sometimes she felt as though he was studying her, learning the places she liked to be touch and filing them away for later use. And she didn't know what to do with the fact that she was learning right along with him. That in those times it felt like her body was more his than her own.

He had more experience than her, it was a fact she dealt with every time his fingers found a place on her body that made her shiver. But she refused to let him hold that experience over her head, to allow him to make her putty in his knowledgeable hands. "Lay down." She shifted to the side, giving him room to lay flat on the couch before throwing her leg over his hips to straddle him.

Jax's brow creased in a frown but he wasn't about to argue with her. He thought he knew what she was doing, every time they were together he felt her control slip just a little more. She wasn't ready for sex but she was obviously getting increasingly close to that place where she was going to be too turned on to care. So she thought that by taking control, she'd keep from doing something stupid. He wanted her to do something stupid, but he was willing to let her play first as he figured letting her take control was bound to turn out very well for him.

With him stretched out beneath her now, a slow grin spreading across his lips, Tara could feel the nerves coming on. Thought maybe this was a bad idea until she felt his hand trail up her thigh to cup her butt. Her entire body shivered. She loved when he did that, couldn't even explain why but it got her every time.

Leaning forward, while effectively pressing back into his hand, Tara bypassed his mouth and went straight for his jaw. When she placed the first open mouth kiss on his skin, the hand on her butt tightened and was soon joined by the other. Encouraged she continued along his jaw until she reached his ear but instead of a kiss she caught his earlobe between her teeth, biting down softly before slowly drawing back.

Jax's eyes drifted close, he had to remind himself not to grip her ass too tight as she began to suck on his earlobe. Other girls usually went straight for sticking their tongue in his ear. He didn't get it, didn't particularly like it but he put up with it because he knew where it would eventually lead. But Tara was currently driving him fucking crazy. Filled him with thoughts of just how good her mouth would feel elsewhere.

With one last nip to his earlobe Tara moved away from his ear, feeling a moments triumph at the disappointed sound he made. She place a soft, apologetic kiss to the back of his ear but continued on. She moved along his neck, alternating between kisses and soft bites. A few times she bit down harder than she meant to but Jax didn't seem to mind. Actually if the way he held her tight while his hips pushed up off the couch was anything to go by she'd say he really enjoyed it.

All too soon she lost herself in the sounds he made, the way his heart was hammering in his chest. When she pressed her tongue to his pulse they both gave simultaneous moans and Tara found herself lingering there. She worked at his pulse- licking, biting, sucking-until Jax's hands fisted in her hair to pull her away. Even through the haze she could see the skin darkening, knew that tomorrow at school it would be glowing like a beacon. And her stomach tightened with the knowledge that she marked him.

Her eyes were a dark, mossy, green. He'd seen them that way before, but there was something else there that he'd never seen before. Something dark, and maybe a bit dangerous, that shot straight through him. His movements weren't smooth, but they were quick, when he pushed up from the couch until she was sitting firmly in his lap. He was hard as a fucking rock and he had no doubt she could feel him against her. It was torture because even though his jeans preventing him from being sure, he just knew she was hot. At the moment he wanted more than anything to know just how hot.

It was almost lowering to know that even if she'd let him, he couldn't have sex with her now. Not unless he wanted to embarrass himself but coming the second he was inside of her. Though he was almost positive coming in his jeans wasn't going to help his rep much either.

Still lost in the haze caused by the taste of his skin in her mouth, Tara couldn't stop herself rolling her hips against him. It felt good, _so_ good. And she was helpless to keep from doing it again. And again. Before she knew it she was practically rutting against him. Their foreheads were pressed together, green eyes locked on blue, as they breathed heavily against each other's mouths.

Hands going to her hips, Jax thought he should be careful not to leave bruises but all too soon his mind emptied of all thoughts. He pulled her down into his lap one last time as he pressed his hips up hard against her. The only thing he was aware of was the sound Tara made as her body began to shudder against his.

Tara was also aware of the sound she made and bit her lip in an effort to hide it but it was much too late. And by the time she collapsed against his chest she no longer cared. His heart was still hammering against hers, his breath coming out in pants that fluttered through her hair, and she couldn't help but feel proud of herself for making Jackson Teller lose it in his jeans.

"It's going to be one _really_ fucking uncomfortable walk home."

Tara laughed, would have pulled back to kiss him if she wasn't so comfortable. "I'm not that much of a jerk, Teller. I'll drive you home." The pleased grin she wore became a soft smile when he brushed his lips across the top of her head. "I'll even get you a pair of my dad's jeans. Don't want you to have to explain any curious stains to Gemma."

"Thanks." With a pleased sigh, Jax allowed his head to drop onto the back of the couch. His eyes drifting close so he could better enjoy the heavy way she was still breathing. When she started to move his arms tightened around her reflexively.

"I was going to get the jeans."

"Not yet. Just…" He wanted to ask her to stay, but for some reason it made him feel ridiculous. So he simply kept his arms tight around her and rested his check on the top of her head. "Not just yet."

* * *

><p>Jax was irritable. Not terribly so, it wasn't to the point where he was biting anyone's head off or anything. But things got to him a lot easier than usual. He tried to keep his shit together, bite his tongue damn near bloody to keep from snapping at people who didn't deserve to bare the brunt of his irritation.<p>

Things had been….different lately. Not bad, at least not completely. Just _different_. School was school, with the exception of English and occasionally Art he didn't stick around too much for school to really factor in to his life. Somehow he tripped and found himself working at the garage. It wasn't a surprise, hanging around and working on his bike was bound to have the guys putting his ass to work. And he really couldn't complain about the extra cash.

Opie had noticed his mood and thought it had something to do with his mother getting remarried. Jax could admit that at first it bothered him. He knew his mother and Clay were together. It hadn't set well with him, not at first, but the last thing he wanted was to begrudge his mother her happiness. And he'd have to be blind not to see how happy Clay made her. Recently she was smiling in a way he hadn't seen her since before his brother died.

Still it was hard coming home and sitting down to dinner with Clay. Watching his mother kiss Clay before she sat down like she sometimes use to do with JT. He wanted her to be happy and hated himself for not wanting her to be happy with Clay. So he'd gone to Tara. Paced the length of her den while he vented all his anger and frustrations. She hadn't said anything, didn't try to offer him advice or talk about how his mother was wrong or how she needed to move on. Tara just listened.

And when he said all he had to say, but worked himself up so that his anger was practically throbbing under his skin, he advanced on her. Framed her face in his hands and took out all his anger on her mouth. She didn't fight him, not even when he pressed her back until she lay under him on the couch. She took everything he had, allowed him to run his hands over her until all his feelings about his mother and Clay disappeared. And that white hot feeling that had him disrupting her evening was replaced with something else. Something only for her.

When he finally pulled away from her, he thought maybe he should apologize for his behavior. Worried that maybe he'd hurt her or scared her. But Tara shook her head before he could open his mouth, hand coming up to cup his cheek and guide his lips back to hers. When she kissed him it had been short and sweet and exactly what he'd been looking for when he showed up at her door.

That had been two weeks ago. He and Tara hadn't spent any significant time together since. She stopped coming around when she knew he was working on his bike, he didn't even have to ask. And he thought it was really cool how he didn't even have to explain to her just how much finishing his bike meant to him. He thought they'd be able to make up that time when he went to hang out with her at the store. But his mother had pointed out how unfair it was for him to disturb Tara at work when she was no longer doing the same. Jax had agreed because he didn't want Tara to think that his bike was more important than her job.

The problem was that left them very little time together. Before school, immediately after, and the snatches of time they could grab between was really all they had. And he….

It was like a light bulb went off in his head. His mood, his irritability, suddenly became clear. He missed her. The reason his mood was so fucked up was because he missed Tara. And realizing he missed her hit just as hard as missing her did. He'd never missed a girl before, never kept one around long enough to get attached in a way to miss her. But fuck he missed Tara. And shit, that was fucked up. It was like she was going to single handedly benchmark every reaction he could ever have with a girl.

"You alright there, brother?"

"Huh?"

Opie was standing over Jax, a concerned yet slightly amused smirk on his face. "You look like you just took one to the chest."

"Kind of feels like I did." One hand over his chest to rub the phantom ache, Jax gazed at his bike. He lost track of time, wasn't sure exactly how long he'd been at the garage, but knew at least a few hours had passed. Yet he barely got any work done.

Realizing he wasn't going to get anything done on his bike, Jax pushed to his feet. He needed to figure his shit out. He and Tara…they'd only been hanging out a few weeks. And in that time he hadn't even so much as looked at another girl, had allowed her to talk him into attending class, and spent every spare moment he had wrapped up in her in some type of way.

"Everything okay with Tara." Opie asked as he followed Jax towards the bathroom. He really hoped it was. Not just because he thought Tara was good for Jax, but because if that girl got hurt his old man was going to be pissed.

Tara, Jax thought as he stuck his hands under the running water, was exactly the problem. He had to get her out of his system before she wrapped him up completely. He thought maybe the appeal of her was that she wasn't as easy as some of the other girls he was use to. Though she was doing a damn fine job of rubbing against him until he was perfectly fine with the way things were moving between them. Was that her plan, get him off to throw him off? Not only was she making him wait, she found a way to do it and make him like it.

Well, he'd just have to put an end to that. He needed to cut the string she was using to pull him along and take control of things. And once he was in control, he lead her straight to his bed. After that, after he had her, he'd be able to get over her. She hadn't seen his best moves, at least that's what he told himself. If he wanted into her panties he could get there, he'd just have to speed things up a bit.

"Hey, loverboy." Tig's voice was impatient as he stepped out of the office. "You're little girlfriend is here."

As if the thoughts of talking his way into Tara's pants so he could get her out of his system weren't just running through his mind, Jax made quick work of drying his hands and all but shoving past Opie to get outside. Only his excitement was short lived as Tig's next words dashed his hopes.

"Not yours, pretty boy. The big fella's little sweetie."

Opie's face burned a bright red as he rushed out of the garage, leaving Jax feeling completely bereaved. And the high he hit at the thought of seeing Tara followed so swiftly by the disappointment had him all the more determined to nail her so that he could move on.


	10. Chapter 10

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 10**

"You scared the shit out of me."

"You're lurking outside my house like some creep and _I_ scared _you._" Leaning against the doorjamb, Tara's face mirrored the incredulousness in her voice. She'd been sitting in the middle of her bed studying when she caught sight of Jax on the other side of the door just outside her bedroom. "What exactly were you trying to accomplish out here anyway?"

"I wanted to see you. I figured I'd try to get in this way in case your dad was working, I didn't want to disturb him."

"You didn't want to get drafted into moving more furniture." Tara corrected.

Jax scoffed, but didn't bother to deny it. "And I was looking to see if you guys had a key hidden back here anywhere."

"Why would we have a key hidden to this door? We do that and any hooligan off the street can decide to waltz in."

"Funny." Pressing forward, Jax wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her tight to his chest. "You could at least pretend to be happy to see me."

"I am happy." Tara confirmed as she leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. "Just surprised to find you lurking out here. I also thought you had to work today."

"I did." But he'd putting off ending things with her. Or more accurately putting off getting her into bed so that he could end things with her. And the longer he put it off, the more attached to her he became, until he finally decided enough was enough. "Got done early." With his arm still around her, he walked them both into the house. "Your dad here?"

"Nope."

A smile spread slowly across his lips as he bent his head to kiss her, it was then he heard the music. It was with a frown that he pulled back and glanced over her shoulder, taking in the bed with the books spread out on it. "That's your room? Right off the door like this? Talk about fucking convenient."

Before Tara could even think to stop him, Jax stepped around her and walked right into her bedroom. Something about seeing him there, in her space, frightened her. Like he'd see some part of her, the way she was feeling lately the only part, she'd managed to keep from him so far.

"It smells like you." The words were out of his mouth before he could think better of it. In an attempt to keep from seeing her reaction he kicked off his shoes, pulled his sweatshirt over his head, and dropped onto the bed.

"Just go ahead and make yourself at home, Teller."

"Come here."

"In case you hadn't noticed, I was studying." She tried to relax but had to settle on just looking the part as she climbed onto the bed as well. Instead of laying next to him, as she knew that could only lead to trouble, she sat as she had been before he arrived.

Jax couldn't help but to grin at the way she chose to ignore him. Reaching out he brushed the tips of his fingers along the patch of skin on her back exposed by her top. He expected her to push his hand away but all she did was shiver and it was all he needed to press forward. His movements weren't as smooth as he wanted when he shifted until he was sitting behind her on the bed, but she didn't seem to notice so he didn't bother to care.

It seemed her plan was to continue to ignore him but Jax didn't mind that so much, it gave him time to play a bit more. His hands came down to rest on her hips, he allowed his thumbs to slip under the hem of her top for a few teasing brushes. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, leaving her neck exposed to him, and his mouth immediately went to the sensitive point just behind her ear.

It took all he had not to bite down instantly, he really loved the little sound she made when he bit her there, but he wanted to take his time. So he started with nothing more than softly brushing his lips over the fading love bite he'd placed there. Two days before when he walked her home from work, he had no intention of giving her a hickey. It was just that her neck was there and he'd been very reluctant to let her go.

Tara gave up all pretense of studying when she felt his lips on her neck. And when those soft little pecks slowly became hotter and wetter, she gave up all pretense of ignoring him as well, her head all but falling to the side in surrender. His hands remained on her hips but his grip was no longer absent, she was pretty certain that the love bite he was sure to leave on her neck wouldn't be the only bruise she'd have come morning.

Having her plaint in his arms was exactly what he'd been after, but he had to stamp down on the voice in his head that was telling him to get out before things went any farther. Jax had to remind himself that what he wanted from her, it wasn't a lie. Had to keep repeating it as he moved back just long enough to strip off his T-shirt. When his hands went to the hem of her T-shirt, Jax felt her tense and the voice became louder and again he stamped it down.

"It's okay." His words were whisper soft against her ear as he slowly began to ease the shirt up her body. This would usually be the point where he told a girl to trust him but he couldn't get the words out. Instead he placed a gentle kiss behind her earlobe, his breath coming out on a shuddering sigh when her arms lifted to allow him to remove her shirt.

He wanted so much to cup her breasts in his hands, to all but rip the bra aside so that he could see her but he didn't want to scare her. So his hands went to her stomach, rubbing gentle circles on her skin as he gave her head a nudge to turn her mouth to his. It took all he had to ease into the kiss. He didn't want the quiet and sweet. He wanted hot and heavy and all the things that would keep him from thinking too much. His mouth closed over her bottom lip, sucking almost desperately before giving it a none too gentle nip. In the end he couldn't maintain the sweet and he all but devoured her mouth.

It was like her entire body went lax against his. Her arms came up to wrap around his neck and he wasn't quite sure what to do with the way her legs seemed to open just a bit more. This was what he wanted, he had to remind himself that this was exactly what he wanted. She felt so good, just so fucking soft and warm, against him. Her lips parted, granting him entrance and allowing his tongue to slid over hers.

Realizing he had her just as he wanted Jax slipped his hands under thighs, lifting them just enough to allow him to place each one of her legs over his. Her back arched and he used the movement to let just the tips of his fingers slip beneath the band of her sweatpants. He waited for her to tense, to object, to do anything to let him know she didn't want this. But she only moaned softly into his mouth and he couldn't stop himself from easing more of his hand into her sweats

This wasn't the usual way he kissed her. She was use to the heat but this hunger was something different, it was almost punishing. She tried to change the tempo, tried pulling back and placing soft kisses on his lips to calm him. But Jax was having none of that. More she found herself lost in his kiss, enjoying the way he seemed to not be able to get enough of her. His hands were warm but rough and she loved knowing they were rougher now than they were before he started working at the garage.

There was some part of her mind that knew there was nothing accidental about the fingers that slipped into her pants. And there was a voice telling her to stop this before it went any farther. But she ignored it. She wanted him to touch her. Never wanted him to stop touching her and kissing her the way he was now. And when the hand beneath her sweats dipped further and the one on her stomach eased up towards her breast all she could do was moan and offer more of herself to him.

Closing his hand over her breast, Jax couldn't help the moan that escaped when she arched into him. Her nipple hardened and he had to break the kiss so that he could see it. She was so flushed, from her pale cheeks all the way down to her chest. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was almost like he _had_ to pull the cup of her bra down, like he simply had to see just how far down that flush went. And that only made things worse because now he wanted to taste her. Wanted to know if she tasted as hot as she looked

This, Jax thought as he turned his head to take her mouth in another kiss, was exactly the problem with her. Every little bit she gave him, he found himself wanting more. Every time he kissed her lips he had to fight the urge to tilt her head back and plunder her mouth. He never held her hand, simply bypassed the act by wrapping his arm around her. When he talked to her on the phone he had to assure himself that he'd be seeing her soon after. Nothing was ever enough for him when it came to her. He always wanted more.

Now his kisses did slow, the hand down her sweats going back to her stomach. How could he get her out of his system? Even now, as he worried about not being able to, he couldn't stop touching her. There's no way, Jax thought, absolutely no way he'd be able to have sex with her just once. There were no _justs_ with Tara. She'd done something to him, made it so he'd never be satisfied with only a little bit of her. That was dangerous. Probably even more so because he'd be her first...

He'd be her first. If he took her virginity and walked away without a backwards glance he'd hurt her. And it was a realization that had him pulling back. Because the only thing more dangerous than wanting so much of her was wanting to be the guy he saw reflected back at him in her eyes. He was never sure what she saw when she looked at him, only that it felt like more than what anyone else saw. But sometimes he found himself striving to be that for her. If he slept with her and walked afterwards, he'd be nothing of what he saw in her eyes.

"Jax," Tara's voice was soft as her hands came up to frame his face. "You okay?"

No, Jax thought as he gently pulled the cup of her bra back in place unable to keep himself from allowing the back of his fingers to graze her nipple, how could I possibly be okay when you fucking broke me. "Yeah."

When he moved back, Tara turned to face him. "You sure?"

He gave her a smile to ease the nerves he saw in her eyes. "Yeah. Just realized I don't want your dad coming in here, finding us like this, and deciding to use one of those many tools in the garage on me."

Tara didn't think she believed him, but wasn't sure if she wanted to push either. "Oh."

He should leave. Jax told himself to grab his shit and go, but still he lingered in the bed, eyes taking in as much of her as he could in the fading light. "Where this was going…you weren't ready for that were you?"

It wasn't what she expected of him but she thought it was kind of sweet that he asked. "Truth?"

Jax nodded. "Truth."

"No. Not yet."

"Okay." It made him feel like an ass, realized he would have felt worse if he'd done what he originally came to do. "I'll give you a call later." Again he told himself to go but couldn't stop himself from leaning forward to kiss her. Especially when he figured it was likely the last time he'd be able to.

* * *

><p>Tara's alarm hadn't gone off but her father had entered her room twice, yet she made no move to get out of bed. For a moment she considered pulling the covers over her head and forgetting about school. It had been two days since she'd spoke with Jax. She called his house, every time his mother told her he wasn't there, and he never called her back. He didn't bother to come to school either. But she'd seen him. Just last night as she was locking up the store she saw him coming out of the diner with Kyle, Kozik, Opie and a few other members of SAMCRO. All the others had saw her, grinned and waved, but Jax continued to walk like she didn't even exist.<p>

It hurt, more than she thought it could. And in that moment she hated herself more than him. Because she knew better than to fall for him. Knew better than to believe his pretty eyes and easy smile. But when he came to her, upset about his mother getting remarried, when he opened up to her that way, she thought maybe he was looking for more than to score. She thought maybe she could learn to trust him a bit. And she began to think how nice it would be if Jax were her first. When she crawled into bed last night she thought maybe she was the worlds biggest idiot.

"Tara-girl. Tara, wake up."

There was a moment where she considered not answering, but she knew her father. If he were in the right mood he could stand over her bed and call her name for at least an hour. "Dad, I'm not going to school today." She wasn't particularly proud of the whine in her voice but there wasn't much she could do about it either.

"You shouldn't have to, Kiddo. It being your birthday and all. But I want you to wake up and see what I got you."

He sounded so excited and buzzed, though she couldn't be sure if he had an early morning buzz going or just still drunk from the night before. With a sigh and more than a hint of curiosity Tara tossed her covers back so that she could sit up in the bed. It took a few moments as she had to rub the sleep out of her eyes but when her gaze finally settled on her father her brow creased at the easel he was standing next to.

"It was my mother's." Eric began with a proud grin. "Your grandmothers. You use to paint all the time when you were a kid, I thought you grew out of it. But I saw the drawing you brought home from school the other day. You got talent, like your old man."

Before she even knew what was happening tears sprang to her eyes. Her father had never given her anything of his mother's. She didn't even know the woman painted. That he'd give her this…it really did mean the world to her. "I don't know if I'll ever have your talent, Dad. But this…I love it. I really do love it."

Eric continued to grin proudly, glad to have gotten this right for her. "There's more." He moved quickly over to her dresser, picking up two plates and carrying them to the bed. "The Devil's Food cupcakes with the filling that you love."

Now, Tara thought as she accepted the plate from her father, she really was going to cry. "Thanks, Dad."

"I got it right, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You got it right."

* * *

><p>"I am <em>not <em>carrying those things around all day."

Candy poked her lower lip out in a pout but wasn't the least bit surprised by her friend's words. The main reason she went out and bought the balloons was to embarrass Tara. "Well thanks a lot. See the next time I go through so much trouble for you."

Unable to do anything else Tara accepted the balloons, holding them out away from her so that she could see. Despite her words there was a large smile on her lips. The morning with her dad put her in a much better mood than she would have been in other wise. "I didn't say I didn't love them, because I do. They're just not practical to carry with me all day."

"You're right. But you really do love them?"

"I do." Tara nodded as she turned to put the balloons in the backseat of the Cutlass.

"Good. MJ wouldn't let me get balloons for tonight, said we were too old for them. But come on, you're never too old for balloons."

"Always been my motto." Once the two girls had fought the balloons into the backseat they made their way towards the school

"So," Candy began as they walked into class. "Are you legal, now?"

Tara nodded with more enthusiasm than she felt. Jax was already in his desk when they walked in, he didn't even bother to glance up at her. The whole reason she came into class early was to try and avoid seeing him. She kind of wished she still had her balloons, that way she could use them to block her view of him. Reaching into her purse Tara pulled out her newly acquired license. "I'm officially legal now."

"Yes!" Candy reached out to grab the license, as if holding it would make it even more real. "No more weekends at home or waiting for MJ. And, ugh, you look so pretty in this picture. I hate you."

"Let me see." Opie didn't even bother to wait for Candy to hand it to him, just reached out and snatched it out of her hands. "Welcome to the club, Knowles. Damn good picture, too."

"Thanks."

"Happy Birthday, Tara." Lowell was standing awkwardly next to her desk, his eyes shooting around the room as if any minute he expected someone to go for his neck. "I…uh…I got you this." He placed a small bakery box on her desk. "They didn't have the chocolate kind you liked. So I got vanilla. It's really good, though. Promise."

Pushing out of her desk, Tara wrapped her arms around him. More than the gift she was just glad that he didn't hold the whole Vickie thing against her. "Thanks, Lowell. My dad bought up all the chocolate this morning, like literally all of them."

"Well, uh…" There was a shy smile on Opie's lips as he held up a small white bakery box as well. "Not all of them." Out of the corner of his eye, Opie could feel his best friend's heated gaze. He didn't know what Jax's deal was, just that he spent the last two days with chicks who weren't Tara. Opie hadn't said anything because it wasn't his business. But just because Jax was going through his shit didn't mean Opie was going to throw his friendship with Tara away.

"Thanks, Op." Tara had just slid back into her seat, Mr. Horton had walked in meaning the final bell was about to sound, when David stood from his desk and made his way back to her.

"Happy Birthday, Tara. I know you like them, so…"

Tara looked down at the Beastie Boys CD in her hand and had to bite back the curse that was on the tip of her tongue. "This is all their unreleased stuff. Their demo is on here. Oh my God, I love it."

From his desk, Jax watched as Hale gave a wide gapped tooth grin he wanted to knock right off his stupid face. Tara was fawning all over that CD like she wasn't use to shit. He could have gotten her a CD, would have gotten it for her if he knew it was her fucking birthday. For whatever reason nobody had bothered to tell him.

"Good, I'm glad." David smiled as he started to lean in close to her but before he could brush his lips over her cheek he was struck in the forehead with a ball of paper.

By the time Tara registered what had just happened, David was back at his desk and the bell rang signaling the start of class. Her mouth had dropped open in surprise, if Mr. Horton noticed what happened he didn't say anything. A quick glance to her left and Tara could see that Candy wore the same shocked expression that she did. For a moment Candy's eyes flicked to the back of the class before returning to Tara's.

"What the hell?" Tara couldn't help but mouth at her friend.

For her part Candy merely shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she turned her attention to the front of her class. She had a feeling Tara's birthday party was going to get really interesting.

* * *

><p>"There are fucking rules, man. A fucking code and that shit just ain't cool."<p>

Sitting in the bed of his truck, Opie pulled lazily at his cigarette as he watched his best friend pace and grow more agitated with each step.

"Tara and I were together for nearly two months, everyone had to see us together. Now I'm not around for two days and all of a sudden it's open fucking season. That's bullshit."

"You were with Julie this morning." Opie pointed out, ignoring the glare his friend sent him. "Laura last night. And Gretchen the night before that. So yeah, that makes it open season on Tara."

Jax wasn't an idiot, he knew that. He was moving on, because he wanted Tara to do the same. He just didn't expect all the assholes at school to immediately start throwing themselves at her. As soon as they stepped out of English, MJ was there throwing his arm around Tara's shoulder and bragging about the kick ass party he was going to throw her that night. Fain was there as well, easing his arm around her waist and pulling her away from MJ. "None of them were interested in her before."

"MJ isn't because Tara's like a little sister to him." Opie began. "It's possible Fain is though."

That didn't make Jax feel any better. "Isn't there suppose to be like a waiting period or something."

"Not really." Opie gave an indifferent shrug. "You and Tara were only hanging out. She was never really your girl."

"Like hell she wasn't." Jax bit the words off harshly, started advancing on his friend before he realized what he was doing. "She was my girl, if she wasn't I wouldn't have broke things off. If I didn't give a shit I wouldn't have-"

"Fucked around on her."

"I didn't fuck any of those girls." A move that surprised even him. But that wasn't even the worse part. No, that came when he found himself trying to find the same comfort, the same rhythm with them that he had with Tara. Being out with other girls didn't make him forget Tara. It made him miss her more. "If I didn't give a shit I'd have been fucking Tara."

"You'd have been _trying_ to fuck Tara." Opie corrected. "Your shit doesn't work on her remember. And you sound crazy as hell you know that. If you didn't care about her, you'd be fucking her?"

"That was my plan." Jax mumbled. "She's got me all fucked up, Op."

"And you thought that was because you hadn't gotten into her pants." Opie couldn't help but laugh.

"I miss her, man. When I'm not with her, I miss her. I just want to be with her all the time. And it fucks me up because it's never been like that before. I figured I just needed to get her out of my system. But…" Jax trailed off, embarrassed by what he was about to admit. But if there was anyone he could talk about this with, it was Opie. "She's a virgin, you know." And he didn't want to be the guy who has sex with her and leaves. He didn't want to be the guy with her that he was with every other girl.

"You like her." Opie stated simply.

Jax nodded. "And it's scaring the shit out of me."

"The way I see it, you got two options. One, you grow a dick, tell her how much you like her and be with her. Or two, shut the fuck up, go back to Julie, Gretchen, or whoever and let Tara be with someone else."

There really was only one option, Jax realize. Because he didn't want Julie or Gretchen or whoever else. And there was no way in hell he was going to sit around and watch Tara be someone else's girl.


	11. Chapter 11

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 11**

The Eglee's house, like the Hales and the Oswalds, was located just on the edge of town. It was bigger than most of the other houses in town, surrounding land keeping the neighbors a good distance away. It was a great house for parties but MJ had always been too lame to take advantage of that. Or so Jax had thought. The house was lit up like a Christmas tree now. Cars were parked all along the road, kids spilling out of the house, and the music-Bow Wow Wow's _Candy_ - blasting loudly in a part of town that was normally quiet.

"What are the odds this is more Candy than MJ?" Opie asked as they made their way out of his truck.

"Shit," Jax wore an easy grin despite the anxiety he felt. His hands went to the back pocket of his jeans, double checking to make sure the box that held Tara's gift was still there. He didn't know how to play this with Tara. He thought he should pull her aside and explain why he acted the way he did. But he didn't want to accidentally screw around and reveal his 'bang her and leave her' plan. And the way Tara got in his head and got him all turned around he knew it was a good possibility.

His other course of action was playing like he hadn't been acting like a complete asshole for the pass two days and hoping that Tara would let him get away with it. He knew it wasn't likely to happen but he figured if push came to shove it was an option. "That's easy money. I'm going to say the music is Candy, too. If it were up to Tara, Beastie Boys would be on all night."

"Seventies and eighties chick rock? Yeah, that's Candy all the way. What's up with Tara and the Beastie Boys, anyway?"

Jax shrugged. "Fuck if I know. She loves 'em." Like really fucking loved them. Enough to recite their history if you got her started. Jax always thought it was kind of cute the way she kind of went on about them.

"Too bad Hale beat you to the unreleased shit CD, huh. That would have got you back in."

"Fuck Hale. I don't need to bribe my way back in."

Opie said nothing as he watched Jax push his way into the party. He had to wonder if Jax really knew just how crazy Tara made him. More accurately, how crazy they made each other.

"Hey, you made it." Candy was wearing a large smile as she rushed through the crowd towards Opie. It wasn't until she was directly in front of him that she noticed he wasn't alone and the smile she wore dropped. "And you brought Jax."

Obviously that tone coming from Tara's best friend was the last thing he wanted to hear. But he refused to believe that Tara would be as unwelcoming as Candy. "Where's Tara?"

"In the back."

Jax didn't wait to hear anything else, just began to push his way through the crowd not caring who he pissed off on his way. Spotting Tara was easy enough once he got to the back, seeing as how she was standing on top of the bar in a pair of strategically ripped jeans and a black shirt that may have very well been painted on. There was a large plastic cup in her hand making Jax wonder just how much she had to drink as he knew she couldn't really hold her liquor. If he went by the way she was swinging her hips he'd guess she wasn't still on her first glass.

There was a part of him that wanted to remain where he was and watch her. She was dancing to The Runaway's _Cherry Bomb _for Christ's sake and just so fucking hot he could hardly stand it. It didn't help that he knew what it felt like to have her moving that way against him. He didn't know what the hell he'd been thinking, trying to get her out of his system. Looking at her now, he realized he didn't want her out of his system. He just wanted her, every part of her, to be his.

* * *

><p>Tara had been determined when she left her house on the way to her party that she was going to have a good time. The school day had barely started when a few girls seemed to trip over themselves to tell her about seeing Jax with girls who weren't her. So when she stepped into the Eglee's house and Candy handed her a plastic cup, she accepted with no problem. She didn't care what was in the cup as long as it contained plenty of alcohol. She thought it wouldn't hurt to get high, but MJ and Candy were clear that no pot be smoked in their house as their parents had a keen sense of smell, and Tara was going to honor their request. So one drink became two which would eventually become three and she swore she wouldn't stop until she no longer thought about cocky blondes with pretty blue eyes and knowing smirks.<p>

The problem was she spent the night all but draped across a cocky brunette with pretty green eyes and knowing smirk. But Fain was harmless. More importantly Candy had disappeared on her, David abandoned her for Sarah Jane Malone, and Lowell had opted to walk the requisite quarter mile to smoke a joint. Of the three of them only Lowell had asked if she wanted to join him, which she declined even as she kind of had to admire his commitment to getting high. She caught sight of MJ a few times but would not be terribly surprised if she learned he'd gone up to bed.

She floated through the party, small town she knew just about everyone in attendance. Especially when it was usually the same group of kids and the same parties every weekend. And Tara didn't really have a problem with most of them, she simply preferred to stick with her friends. Things were just easier that way. So with everyone being M.I.A, that left Fain. And when she caught sight of Jax across the room, looking at her with the same hunger she felt from him that night in her room, she thought it'd be best if she stayed with Fain all night.

"I love this song."

"You loved the last ten songs played."

Tara's head tilted to the side, confusion playing across her face. "We didn't dance to ten songs."

"No," Fain agreed as his arm locked around her waist to pull her closer. "We danced to nine. The last one you just danced all by yourself on the bar."

"You looked damn hot, too."

Tara wasn't sure what was worse, the fact that her breath caught at the sound of Jax's voice or the ridiculous urge she had to lean back into him. She knew that tone, that charming tone he used to get whatever he wanted from whoever he wanted. If he had just used that, not the flashes of something deeper he showed her, she likely never would have fallen for him. Certainly wouldn't hate him so much now. But she was done, over it. At least she would be. "Thanks, Teller."

Jax, choosing to believe the easy smile she gave him, allowed his lips to curve as well. "Hey," As he'd grown use to doing, he placed a hand on her waist before closing the distance between them to brush his lips over her jaw. "Happy birthday."

To keep from grabbing his shirt to pull him closer Tara curled her hand into a fist. And she had to struggle to keep from ramming that fist into his stomach. "Again, thanks, Teller."

"So, how about-" But before he could suggest anything, Tara turned quickly to Fain.

"You going to dance with me or what?"

"Yes, ma'am." There was a wide grin on Fain's face as he wrapped his arms around her waist and practically carried her over to where the other kids were dancing.

"You really didn't think it was going to be that easy did you?"

Jax turned, not at all pleased to see David Hale standing beside him with an amused grin on his face. "Like you know anything."

"I think I know Tara a bit better than you."

Jax scoffed. Even if that were true, which he doubted, he refused to take advice about Tara from a guy who hadn't been able to get Tara while he had her.

"She's pissed." Hale began as if he was completely unaware of just how much Jax wanted him to go away. "She ever been pissed at you before?"

Remembering the time she tried to slam the door in his face, Jax nodded.

"She hit you?"

"No."

Hale laughed. "Then she wasn't really pissed. She was probably just upset. Tara upset and Tara pissed are two completely different things. She's upset she'll get over it eventually. She's pissed, she's not getting over it until she gets physical."

That it made sense is what worried Jax. If Hale was right, that meant he did indeed know Tara better than him. And that the road to getting her back would be a hard one. "So you're saying I should let her hit me?"

Hale shrugged. "Probably wouldn't hurt."

* * *

><p>Jax bided his time, staying just on the edges of the party to better keep an eye on Tara. She spent a lot of time with Fain but he wasn't too worried about it. He'd seen Tara when she flirted, seen her when she was disinterested, and he'd seen her with friends. It was obvious Fain was no more than a friend.<p>

That didn't stop him from growing impatient. He wouldn't cause a scene, no matter how much he wanted to, but he figured it would be a good idea not to test Tara's temper that way. Though he had to admit he was kind of curious. If he tried to drag her out of the party, would she wait until they were alone to let loose. Or would she let him have it before he could get her anywhere. He just wasn't sure and he could admit it was one of the things he really liked about her.

When it was beginning to look like he was going to have to forego his plan to _not_ cause a scene and cross the room to drag her away, Tara finally stepped away from Fain and move towards the stairs. Jax's eyes locked onto her retreating figure and it was like his vision tunneled. When he saw her step into a room he had to move quickly to get inside before she shut the door and wasn't quite sure what to make of the fact that he followed her into the bathroom.

Tara turned, not only shocked to find Jax but to see that he seemed just as surprised to be there as she was to see him there. So much so that for one long moment neither of them spoke, simply stared at one another until Tara could no longer stand the silence.

"You do know there's another bathroom in the house."

"But this is the only one you're in." Jax felt ridiculous the moment the words left his mouth, even moreso when they lapsed into another silence. And again it was Tara who broke it.

"I don't know what to do here, Jax. Am I suppose to swoon because you want to watch me pee."

Jax rolled his eyes. "I didn't follow you in here to watch you pee. I wanted to talk to you."

"While I pee?"

"Would you…me coming in here has nothing to do with you peeing."

"_Me_ coming in here has everything to do with me peeing." It was a lie. But the last thing she needed was to be in a small room with him.

At that, and the incredulous look on her face, Jax couldn't help but to laugh. He'd followed her into the bathroom so of course this is what their conversation spiraled into. "I didn't know you were coming to the bathroom."

"Well now you do, so…" She made a gesture towards the door, inviting him to leave. There was no point of hiding out in the bathroom when the reason for hiding was currently blocking the door.

"Sorry, babe, but I kind of get the feeling that if I walk out this door you're going to lock it behind me."

It was true. She was also thinking of climbing out the window for good measure. She'd thrown herself into her party, into having fun. But she hadn't been able to ignore the way he watched her from the moment he arrived. "Don't most people lock the door when they go into the bathroom." She tried for light hearted, like seeing him didn't twist something inside her.

Jax didn't like the way she as acting, like everything was just fine between them. He wanted her to be pissed at him, to call him an asshole for acting the way he did. At least then he'd know she cared. Because as of right now it was like she cared as little about him as he pretended to care about her the last few days. "What is this?"

Tara's brow knit in confusion even as her lips tugged up in a smile. "It's the bathroom."

He wondered if she knew just how cute she looked. He could do this, stay locked in the bathroom with her, having this ridiculous go round of a conversation for the rest of the night. "Look, I should have talked to you. Not taking your calls, ignoring you…"

"I heard about you and Lauren. And Julie. And Gretchen." The words were more strained than she intended and she made an effort to appear at ease with him and his behavior. "But it doesn't matter. Your message was received. Do I wish you would have just said you weren't interested anymore, yeah. But you changed your mind about us, I can't hold it against you."

There was a sinking feeling in his gut and for the first time he didn't find himself questioning his reaction to her words. "I didn't change my mind, Tara. I just…"

"Jax," Tara's voice was gentle and in direct opposition to the emotions warring inside of her. "It's okay. You don't have to explain. We'll go back to the way things were, don't worry about it."

He was prepared to breathe a sigh of relief until he realized that she meant the way things were before the party at Piney's cabin. "I wasn't trying to hurt you." Jax figured the best way to handle this was to ignore everything she said until she forgave him. "I don't want to hurt you. I freaked, okay."

The words got through even if she didn't want them to. "Freaked about what?"

"Us. This is new to me and I didn't know what to do with it, how to handle it." Jax shrugged. "I fucked up." He waited for her to say something, to tell him that it was okay and as long as he didn't do it again they'd be okay. And when she didn't he decided to go another route. Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out the box he didn't bother to wrap.

"What's that?" The words were demanding, her eyes suspicious as she looked at the box in his hands.

"It's for you." He held the box out to her, frowned when she placed her hands behind her back instead of taking it. "For your birthday."

"You shouldn't have."

He allowed his lips to curl in a grin that worked so well for him in the past. "I shouldn't have gotten my girl a gift for her birthday?"

"I'm not your girl, Jax." She thought she wanted to be, but just wasn't sure anymore. Did being his girl mean having to deal with his moods? Would he get freaked out every few months and act like she didn't exist? Would he hurt her again? Because he could. It scared the living shit of her to realize that he had the ability to hurt her.

"You are." Jax kept his eyes on hers, his voice firm. "I just forgot. I won't forget again."

She wanted him back. Wanted to accept his gift and his smile and act like the last two days had never occurred. "Jax…"

"Tara."

And she didn't know if it was the alcohol swimming in her system or her sixteen year old heart but she swore no one said her name the way he did. "It can't be this easy." She said it more for herself than for him, a reminder that she let him in too easily before. She'd have to be more careful, be sure not to give him too much of herself. Because she wanted him and she wanted to be his girl. But she couldn't allow herself to be hurt again. "We can't just go back to the way it was before."

Jax grinned, moving quickly to close the distance between them. "Alright, we'll start over." He didn't really know what that meant, only understood that they could, and would, be together. They had fallen so easily into what they had he figured it would be no problem getting it back.

Tara allowed her arms to slip around him. She may have been wary but she couldn't deny she missed his hugs. Missed them so much that she said nothing when he eased the box containing her gift into the back pocket of her jeans.

* * *

><p>Jax had learned very early in his life that when his mother spoke, it was in his best interest to listen. Gemma Teller, soon to be Morrow, was not a woman to be ignored. The problem was she was no longer the only woman in his life. He'd over heard Piney on the phone with Eric Knowles not too long ago, so he knew that any second now Tara would be pulling up in the lot to pick up some sort of tool for her dad. He was aware that his distraction when it came to Tara was precisely the problem. When it was time for him to leave he never cleaned up his area or replaced his tools, he was always in too much of a hurry to get to Tara to bother. Now his mother was jumping up his ass for it. He knew she was right-his father always talked to him about the value of a clean work station. But Jax couldn't help but feel that if JT was alive and knew how he felt about Tara he'd be a little more understanding than Gemma.<p>

"Am I making myself clear to you, Jackson?"

"Yeah. And your right." Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Cutlass pull through the gates, had to fight to keep the grin off his face. "I'll get my shit together, promise."

Gemma had also seen the Cutlass pull in and knew her son well enough to know he was simply blowing smoke up her ass just so he could get out to that damn girl. She'd always liked Tara well enough before but now everything about the girl bugged her. There was something in Tara's eyes that Gemma recognized. There was a time she understood it, even sort of respected Tara for it. But now her baby's heart was on the line and she didn't trust Tara Knowles, or the look in her pretty green eyes, not to break it. Jax was moving too fast and she was afraid he wouldn't listen if she tried to get him to slow down. "Your father built this place for you, Jax." And she wasn't just talking about the garage, she hoped he realized that. "It's gonna be yours one day, so you should start respecting it now."

"Mom," There was a hint of impatience in his voice that he hurried up and tamped down on. The last thing he wanted to do was piss his mother off. He wanted this conversation over so he could get to Tara before she left. If he handled things wrong with his mother she'd keep him in the office until Tara was long gone. "I know you're right. I know if Dad was alive he'd be chewing my ass out the same way. I'll do better."

She knew that mentally he was already gone and part of her wanted to keep him in the office out of spite. But she knew that if she kept him away from that girl now he'd be distracted for the rest of the day. It was a fact that pissed her off. She'd thought they had cooled off, had been more than pleased a few weeks ago when Jax brought two other girls around the clubhouse. Gemma had thought they were getting too serious and was glad to see Jax moving on. But now things seemed to be worse than they'd been before. Jax's head was so far up that girl's ass she was surprised he could see straight. Gemma knew she couldn't let it go on. She had to put a stop to it before her baby got hurt. "Tara and Opie seem awfully close."

Jax turned his head so he could look out the window. Tara was standing by Opie's bike, every few seconds she'd make to reach out and touch his bike only for him to slap her hand away.

As Gemma watched, expecting to see her son's face contort in confusion or jealously, he only smiled. No, he wasn't smiling, he was grinning. Grinning like the damn girl was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. And she realized things were worse than she thought. When he moved to leave the office, though she never said their conversation was over, she didn't bother to stop him. Only pushed out of her chair to follow him out.

Jax didn't care how it looked to anyone in the lot, he couldn't stop himself from jogging the few feet to where Tara was standing. And he figured if none of them understood why he was in such a hurry to get to her when she turned into him before his arms could fully link around her waist, he wouldn't explain it to them. There was a teasing grin on her lips when she tilted her mouth up to his.

"It just kills you to stay away from me, doesn't it?" Jax spoke the words against her lips.

"Well I've learned that if I leave you alone for more than a few hours, when I do see you, you go at my neck like a crazed vampire."

Opie laughed and Gemma merely rolled her eyes at her son who had his face buried in Tara's neck just as the girl said. "And I see you have no problem returning the favor, sweetie."

At the sound of Gemma's voice, Tara tried to pull away from Jax but he barely loosened his hold on her. "Ah, Mrs. Teller. Hi."

"Tara," Bringing her hand up to her own neck, Gemma tapped her fingers to her pulse. "Your dad cool with those?" She knew Eric was an absentee father at best but even he had to see the hickies that covered his daughter's neck. Just as she was forced to see the ones Jax wore like a badge of fucking honor.

"He hasn't said anything." Tara gave an indifferent jerk of her shoulder. She knew her father saw the hickies, his face lost all color the first time she came home with one. He started to open his mouth to say something, and Tara had readied herself with an arsenal of shit she could throw back in his face, but in the end he told her he'd be home late and practically shot out the door.

Gemma nodded, as far as fathers went Eric Knowles was about as useful as tits on a bull. He allowed his daughter to run completely wild and it seemed as though her son was taking full advantage of that. For a moment she allowed herself to believe that was the appeal the girl held. No curfew, an empty house, and a father who was never around was enough to attract a teenage boy. She was just starting to relax when she noticed that the hickies weren't the only thing adorning the girl's neck. "Nice necklace."

Immediately Tara's hand went to silver crow hanging from the black leather string around her neck. There was a hard look in the older woman's eyes that she didn't quite understand, anymore than she understood the way Jax flinched. "Thank you. It was a birthday present from Jax."

Gemma cut her son a look that was completely ineffective as he refused to look at her. "Figured as much."

"Well," Tara began, eager to put as much distance between herself and Jax's mother as she could. She was usually more comfortable than this around Gemma but she'd swear that over the last couple of weeks the woman would shoot her the most frightening looks. "If I don't get back with that tank my Dad-"

"Wait. I wanna show you something before you go."

Tara knew it was a bad idea to stay any longer, not just because Gemma couldn't make it more obvious she wanted her gone but her father had not been in the best mood when she left the house. If she took too long she was bound to return to an unpleasant situation. Unfortunately, Jax was looking at her with a pair of big blue eyes that she could not, and did not want to, say no to. "Jax, I really shouldn't-"

"Come on," Taking her hand Jax began to tug her across the lot. "It'll only take a second." Not willing to take no for an answer, although Tara was barely struggling against him, Jax gave her a tug to pull her in front of him. And wrapping his arms around her waist he lifted her a several inches off the ground so that he was now carrying her across the lot.

With a roll of her eyes, Gemma turned to Opie. "They always like this?"

"No," Opie didn't even bother to turn and look at his friends. "Sometimes they're obnoxious."

"Jesus." Gemma stepped back to lean against the garage. She knew that Jax was taking Tara to show off his bike, so she wasn't surprised when he pulled the tarp off the bike. There was a large boyish grin on his face. She knew he was proud of that bike, she'd seen just how hard he'd been working on it. Lately that bike seemed to be the only thing he could focus on that wasn't named Tara Knowles. And he always made a show of rolling it in and out of the garage, going out of his way to make sure everyone saw his pride and joy. Tara didn't come around the garage much, so Gemma wasn't surprised when he took the first opportunity presented to him to show off for the girl.

She was surprised, however, when he took Tara's hand and helped her onto the back of the bike. He'd barely let anyone touch the damn thing let alone sit on it.

"Hey, baby."

Gemma turned her cheek up to receive Clay's kiss even as she kept her eyes on the young couple across the lot. "Hey."

"Boy is working over time, isn't he?"

"I don't like it, Clay. He's too wrapped up in that girl. Letting her sit on his bike, he hardly lets you touch it."

"Letting a chick sit on your bike and another man touch it are two different things." Clay gave a bored shrug, more interested in getting his soon to be wife into the back room of the clubhouse than of the young couple. "From what I understand the girl still hasn't…opened the gates of heaven to him yet. He's just working over time to get into her pants." He eased his arms around Gemma's waist, his voice low against her ear. "Nothing gets a woman going like a big mean bike between her legs."

"Don't I know it." Gemma turned to him with a smile, interested in what he was offering but also knowing a conversation about Jax and Tara didn't hold his interest in the least little bit. So she tucked her son, and the girl he was getting way to wrapped up in, to a far corner of her mind. She knew her son and she didn't trust that girl with his heart at all. She'd slow that relationship down, if not put a stop to it completely


	12. Chapter 12

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 12**

The sound of bikes were the norm at Teller-Morrow. One was no different than another and Gemma hardly gave the sound much thought unless she knew one of her boys would need her. The only reason she noticed this bike was because she was up at the filing cabinet. It was a quick glance but that's all she needed to realize the bike was one she hadn't seen in awhile. And it had a curious frown creasing her brow as she left her office to greet the rider.

"I didn't even know you still had this monster."

Eric Knowles removed his helmet, tucking the straps to hang it off the handlebars. "Could never part with it." Though Claire had tried to get him to, especially after Tara was born, but he managed to convince her there was nothing for her to worry about. "It's been awhile since I had it out on the road, so I wanted to bring it by, get it checked out. I did some tinkering but I figured it wouldn't hurt to have the professionals look at it, you know."

"Yeah, sure." Gemma waved a hand into the garage, catching Tig's attention and turning it towards Eric's bike. "It's a light day so we should have you in and out quickly."

"Thanks Gemma."

"So, uh, what brought on the urge to pull the bike out."

"Well," Eric ran a loving hand over the bike. It had indeed been awhile since he had his bike out on the road but all it took was the short ride from his house to the garage to remind him just how much he loved it. "I figured with Tara driving now, she'll be all over me about taking the car, and to avoid any problems it would be a good idea to have another form of transportation."

"Oh," Gemma nodded. Tara having easy access to a car was just not a good idea. As far as she was concerned that girl just had too much freedom. She didn't know what Jax and Tara got up to half the time or even where they spent the majority of their time but she didn't want to give them more rope than they already had. It was no secret that Eric spent many hours away from home, hell Gemma had seen him hanging around the clubhouse most nights. Any nights he spent at home, Gemma had no doubt that if Tara had access to a car, the two teenagers would grab the keys and take off. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What?"

"Letting Tara have the car, I mean that's what you're doing by getting your bike out."

Eric frowned. Yeah, he was essentially giving Tara the car but he didn't know why that was a problem. "Well she's a really good driver."

Jesus, Gemma thought trying not to let her frustration show, the man was absolutely clueless. She'd find it kind of cute if she didn't need him to fire up a couple brain cells here. "Why don't you come into the office, Ric. I think it's time we have a talk about our kids."

* * *

><p>"Where are you going?<p>

"Out."

"With the Teller boy?"

Tara gave a disgusted sigh, choosing not to answer her father. Over the past few weeks the tentative peace that had settled over them began to dissipate. He'd become more demanding of her time and she was growing increasingly impatient with what she viewed as his neediness. It was close enough to the natural ebb and flow of their relationship that she didn't bother to question what brought on her father's sudden urge to have her around. It was just that between school and work she had so little time to spend with Jax that she was resentful of anything that took away from it. So she didn't censor herself with her father as much, so their fighting became worse, and as a result she spent more nights with Opie and Piney.

Tara was aware that matters between herself and her father weren't helped by Jax's birthday present. Or more accurately, her father's reaction to Jax's birthday present. She recognized his look of shock and disapproval as the same one that had been on Gemma's face. And more and more, she felt Gemma Teller's disapproval whenever she was at the garage with Jax. And as unfair as it was, her feelings in regards to Gemma began to bleed over on to her father.

"Yes, with Jax."

The biting tone in his daughter's voice put Eric's back up. "Jesus Christ it was an innocent question. You're so fucking hard to talk to now days."

That stopped her and took more than half the wind out of her sails. "Sorry."

For several long moments they stood on opposite ends of the hall, neither sure what to say. Unable to stand the awkwardness or the silence any longer Tara gave her father a strained smile before heading out to the living room, grabbing the keys off the coffee table on her way out.

"You can't take the car." Eric's words came out rushed, tumbling over themselves as a sign of his discomfort. He really didn't have problem with her taking the car as he could usually get as many drinks as he wanted at the bar if no one was concerned about him driving. But Gemma Teller had told him it was past time he started setting boundaries with Tara. She said it was one thing letting Tara take the car before she had her license but now that she was a legal driver she needed to be reeled in. If he were being honest, he had no idea why it was different. But Gemma was a mother, by all accounts a loving one, so he took her word for it.

Stopping at the door, Tara turned to her father, her brow creased in confusion. "What? Why?"

Eric's brain began to turn itself over trying to recall what his own father would have said to him in this situation as he was sure 'because Gemma said so' would not go over well with his daughter. "I think…with your attitude…it would do you some good to walk."

The urge to laugh tickled at the back of her throat. The words sounded foreign slipping past her father's lips. But it just seemed wrong to laugh at his attempts to parent. She could get so angry with him sometimes she couldn't see straight and she could hate him so much it could steal her breath. But he was her father and she couldn't stand to humiliate him. "Fine." The word was bitten off because she was still pissed at having the car taken from her.

"And…" Eric began quickly before she could leave. "And I want you back here by ten."

Now the look on Tara's face was completely incredulous as she turned back to her father. "Ten? Are you shitting me, it's Friday night."

He hadn't realized that when he threw out the time and even he could admit making her come home at ten on a Friday was extremely ridiculous when she didn't have anything resembling a curfew during the week. But at this point he figured in for a penny. "That…that's why you have to be home by ten."

"That isn't fair!" She waited for him to relent, for him to realize just how crazy a ten o'clock curfew on a Friday night was. Especially when she'd never had a curfew before. But he held his ground. "Fine. Whatever." Chucking the car keys towards the couch, she shot out the door before he could lay another fucked up rule on her.

* * *

><p>Tara tried not to let her anger at her father seep into her night, walking into the bowling alley and seeing Jax went a long way to soothing some of her anger.<p>

"We're bowling now?"

Pushing off the counter he was leaning on, Jax moved to the door and eased his arms around Tara's waist. "Weren't you the one who said that we need to do more than sit on your couch and make out."

Tara wasn't sure if those were her exact words. But ever since her birthday, Jax had been adamant that they were together. And Tara figured that if they were indeed a couple they should act like a one. She also thought it was a good idea that they not spend so much time alone together as she felt her resolve against him weakening every time he touched her. "Yeah, but bowling?"

"What's wrong with bowling?" He asked the question with his lips running along the line of her jaw. Truth was he didn't see anything wrong with sitting on her couch and making out, had even suggested that if she wanted to change things up they could move to her bedroom. Turned out to be the wrong thing to suggest as that was the point where she became really insistent that they do things outside of her house.

"Do you even know how to bowl?"

Pulling back, Jax gave her an easy smile. "Do I look like I know how to bowl?"

Rolling her eyes, Tara pulled out of his arms. "Well this should be fun." She placed her hand in his. Bowling may not have been her first choice, but she couldn't deny being touched by the fact that he was at least trying. "I'm actually kind of turned on by thought of watching you make an ass of yourself."

He shot her a cocky grin. "Not gonna happen, babe. Now, come on, Opie and Candy are waiting on us."

In the end Jax and Tara lost, and lost badly, to Opie and Candy. It was a loss they both knew their friends would likely never allow them to live down. The only up side Jax saw in the whole thing-aside from spending the night watching Tara bend over-was that she played just as badly as he did.

"So," There was a large grin on Tara's face as they stepped out of the bowling alley into the cool night air. "Are we officially done with bowling?"

"If you quit now, Tara, how will you get better." Candy, high off her win and spending time with Opie, all but stumbled out behind Jax and Tara.

"She's right," Jax agreed as he tossed his arm around Tara's shoulder, pulling her close to his side. "I think this should be a regular thing."

"You enjoy bowling that much." The disbelief was clear in Tara's voice as she wrapped her arms around Jax's waist.

"Bowling," He turned his head so that his lips brushed her ear as he spoke. "The way your ass looked as you bent over in front of the lane." He laughed when she gave him a playful slap on the chest. "Where's the Cutlass?"

"Home."

"You walked here?"

"Yeah." Tara rolled her eyes. "I think I'm being punished."

Leaning against the hood of his truck, Opie pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Lighting it before handing Jax the pack, he eyed Tara wearily through the haze of smoke. "Bullshit." He knew for a fact that she'd stumbled home piss ass drunk on more than one occasion and her old man hardly batted an eyelash. There were also times, when he'd gone with his father to the Knowles' home, he'd heard her shouting just as violently at Eric as he was at her. Everyone knew she was an honor student but she'd been suspended for fighting a couple of times. So he couldn't think of a single thing she could have done that would have her old man punishing her.

"Seriously. I'm being punished. My dad took the car and told me to be home at ten."

"You do know it's after eleven." Opie pointed out. But it was clear she wasn't terribly worried as she let Jax push her back against the truck and bury his face in her neck. "Hey," Reaching one long arm out, he snapped his fingers in Jax's ear. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home."

"Opie, I don't think we can all fit." Candy eyed the cab wearily.

"Trust me," Opie cast one last look at Jax and Tara before heading around to the driver's seat. "We'll fit."

* * *

><p>What Opie knew and what Candy didn't learn until they were in the truck, was that Jax was going to pull Tara onto his lap.<p>

"So," Jax began, fingers tangled in Tara's hair as Opie headed towards Candy's house. "How much trouble are you going to be in for breaking curfew?"

Tara shrugged, aware that her father had to remember he gave her a curfew before she could get in trouble for breaking it. "Not much."

"I guess that door by your bedroom makes it easy to sneak in and out." Because his face was in her hair, he missed the look she shared with Opie.

Tara smiled but didn't correct him. Her father being passed out drunk is what made it easy to sneak in and out. "Now that bowling is out," Taking his hand in hers, she began to absently toy with his fingers. "What are we going to do tomorrow?"

"You mean provided you haven't gone from punished to grounded." Candy muttered, though she couldn't think of one instance in which Tara had ever been in trouble with her father.

"Movie." Jax suggested, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Opie shifted a bit, elbow knocking into Candy's arm. "I don't know if I can make that." Or he wasn't sure he _wanted _to make that as there was no doubt in his mind Jax and Tara would spend the entire night in a tangle of tongues and arms.

"Me either."

But it was clear that Opie and Candy backing out hardly registered to Jax and Tara as they continued to quietly make plans for the next day.

"You think you can get your dad's car tomorrow night. I mean we can head to the plex here in town but going to Lodi might be better." Though Jax could admit it didn't really matter to him where they went so long as he was in a dark room with her.

"You know we wouldn't have these logistical problems if you had your license." A teasing smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she brushed them gently across his brow. "Too bad you don't turn sixteen for another, what, six months."

"Month and a half," He gave her ear a gentle nip. "Smart ass."

"Still, you're so young. Have to wonder if it's even right for us to be together, you being so young and all. Maybe I need an older-"

Before she could finish that sentence, he brought her mouth down to his. It didn't matter to him that Opie and Candy were sitting right next to them, that anyone who pulled up besides the truck would see them. There was nothing but her. It still surprised him how much more at ease he was with his feelings for her. Nothing about what he felt for her scared him. Actually, everything about what he felt for her just felt right.

"You two ever consider coming up for air."

At the sound of Opie's voice, Tara pulled away from Jax. Her brow creased in confusion when she looked across the bench at him and realized Candy was gone. A quick glance over her shoulder and she saw that they were sitting in front of the Eglee house. "We got here kind of fast, didn't we?"

Opie, who had to endure the ride listening to, and pretending not to be aware of, the two of them making out, shot Tara a bland look as he started the truck up. It was an experience he'd prefer not to live through again. Candy didn't even seem to know what to do with herself, let alone where to look. "Not really." There'd been a moment during the trip from the bowling alley and Candy's house that he would have sworn the ride would last forever.

* * *

><p>"You two are disgusting, you know that."<p>

"There was only one place for me to sit."

Keeping one hand on the wheel, Opie threw his other arm across the back of the bench. With his eyes still on the road he reached out to give her hair a tug. They'd just dropped Jax off at home, a decision that had not gone over well. But Tara had shot down his arguments, once again pointing out that it wouldn't be fair to have Opie drop her off then turn around and take Jax back home. "But I figure there were more things for you to do than make out with him. That shit was awkward."

Knowing he was right, Tara flinched. "That may have been too much." He cut her a look that had her reevaluating that statement. "Okay it was definitely too much. Sorry."

"You like him." Opie had known that all of Tara's arguments to why Jax should be dropped off first were sound but he thought she had other reasons that she kept to herself.

Tara wasn't entirely sure if Opie was asking her a question or stating a fact, thought maybe he didn't know either. But Opie didn't wait for her response, it would seem her response wasn't really what he was after anyway.

"Why don't you tell him about your dad? I mean, I guess I can understand why you didn't say anything while you were just 'hanging out' but now…"

"Now I'm his girl." Tara spoke the words softly, unable to contain the butterflies in her stomach at having said the words.

Opie heard the awe in her voice, figured she was still getting use to the ground her relationship with Jax was settling on. It wasn't something that surprised him. It made sense to him that Jax would come to terms with his feelings before Tara. "That's what he's telling anyone who'd listen." He let that sink in for a moment so that they fell into a comfortable silence. "So…are you his girl?"

"I am." The answer came quick, without thought or hesitation.

"Why don't you tell him about your dad?" He asked again. He didn't expect an answer from her, just wanted to give her something to think about.

Tara didn't know what Opie wanted from her. She didn't want to lie to him but she wasn't sure how to tell him the truth either. He made it sound so easy, just tell Jax about her dad. What was she suppose to tell him? That her dad was a raging drunk, that each night she walked into her door she couldn't be sure just what she was walking into.

Would she even be able to make Jax understand? He put his father up on a pedestal, JT was a god to him. Would he understand the things she told him about broken, flawed, and all too human Eric? What would his reaction be if she told him about the fights that got out of hand? How could she even begin to tell him about the times her father would grab her too roughly or drunkenly shove her away or of the things that went flying from his hands and mouth? More how could she make him understand that as much as she hated her father's behavior, as much as she at times hated him, he was still her father and she still loved him.

Tara wasn't even sure if she could trust Jax with all of that. She gave him her mother, trusted him with those memories that were so very precious to her. She believed him when he said he'd been confused, mixed up, about their relationship. Really she couldn't hold it against him. But she could be careful about giving him more than she already had.

And even if she could get over all of that. If she could find the words to tell Jax, make him understand what it was like for her, and trust him with it, how was she suppose to get over the embarrassment? Because no matter what Tara told herself, she was embarrassed. She was embarrassed by her father getting so drunk he pissed his pants, embarrassed by the bruises she sometimes found on her arms and back, embarrassed by the number of things she threw at his head or how much harder it got to resist the urge to kick him when he was passed out drunk on the floor.

Tell Jax. It was a simple statement but the deed was anything but.

"My dad drinks" Tara began flatly. " It's not something I need to tell Jax about, it's just something that is."

"Tara,"

"Ope," The smile on her face when she turned to him didn't quite reach her eyes. "It's not a thing. There's nothing to tell."

Opie wanted to argue, wanted to point out her spending more nights on his couch. His old man drank, could go on almost professional benders, but things were never so bad that it caused him to run away. But it turned out he didn't need to argue, the cop car parked in front of her house seemed to say more than enough.

"You want me to hang around."

Tara shook her head. "No. Just stop right here."

Pulling the car over a few doors down from Tara's house, Opie said nothing when she climbed out of the car. Despite what she said, he placed the truck in park and watched as she ran through the neighbors yard. He guessed she was going around to the back door. For all her talk of not caring if she missed the curfew her father would likely not remembering giving her, she was obviously going to play it safe by making it seem as though she'd been home for hours.

He clocked her movements in his head-through the Thompsons' yard then the Browns', at her back door, in her bedroom and hastily removing her shoes and jeans, pulling her hair up in a ponytail as she rushed down the hall to the front door. And as if on cue the front door open, Tara was standing there barefoot in a T-shirt and a pair of shorts he hadn't figured in.

He couldn't hear what they were saying but he doubted much was said between them as Eric snatched away from the deputy and pushed passed his daughter. The deputy lingered at the door a moment, no doubt wanting to make sure Tara was okay but she sent him away much as she tried to with Opie.

It wasn't long after the squad car pulled away that the shouting started. Opie couldn't hear what they were saying, only recognized the heat in their tone. The crash came next, the sound of glass breaking, a door slammed and loud music began to pump from the house. Seconds later Tara came around from the side, she didn't bother to look up as she crossed the street and climbed back into the truck.

"Not a word."

Opie considered the warning in her tone, would have ignored it if it wasn't for the way she seemed to have turned in on herself. So he stayed quiet as he started the truck and remained quiet as he drove them to his house.


	13. Chapter 13

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 13**

"Jackson!"

Mere feet from the door Jax considered pretending he didn't hear his mother and continue on his way. It wouldn't be a lie that held up, however, as he was sure the neighbors heard his mother. With a resigned sigh he turned towards the bustling kitchen. His mother ran the area like a four star general, putting Old Ladies and croweaters alike to work. And he knew nothing beneath her standards would touch her table. "Smells good in here."

"Couldn't tell by the way you were rushing out of the door."

"Just got somewhere to be is all." Stopping in the entryway, Jax propped his arm up on the wall. He sent a flirtatious smirk towards a few of the girls in the kitchen, pleased at the inviting winks they sent him in turn. "So you needed something."

"Just wanted to tell you dinner's in a half-hour."

"I'll probably be a little late." Actually he would likely miss dinner entirely. But he thought he'd have a better chance of getting out of the house without a fight if he lead his mother to believe that he'd at least attempt to make it back.

"Hot date, Jax?" Luann asked with a teasing smile. A smile that dropped at the withering glare Gemma sent her way.

Jax, having missed his mother's look, returned the smile. "Yeah. Tara and I are heading to Lodi to catch a movie."

"Tara?"

"Knowles." Gemma answered just barely keeping the distain from her voice.

"Ric's little girl?" A momentary frown graced Luann's face. "Is her headspace good, you know, considering…"

Gemma watched as anger flashed in her son's eyes. She thought she should step in but she was curious to see how he'd handle this. More she was curious to see just how much he knew about his little girlfriend.

"Considering what?"

"Well, come on kid, her mother hung herself and her old man's a mess."

"Why are you saying it like it's her fault?" Jax demanded, his voice raising just enough to draw the attention of some of the other women in the room. "That's her parents, it's not her. There's nothing wrong with Tara."

"That's not what Luann was saying." Gemma stepped in before her son could get any louder but she couldn't stop herself from pushing this a bit more as she was beginning to think there were a few things Tara left out during the hours she was on the phone with Jax. "But she was the one who found Claire. And people talk about what goes on in that house with her father."

"Who gives a shit what people say? I've seen Tara and her old man together, they get along fine." And if they didn't Jax was sure Tara would tell him about it. He knew how much her mother meant to her, could tell how hard it was for her to talk about her, but she did. He figured if she could trust him with that, she'd trust him enough to tell him if things were rough between her and her father. "Her old man is never there anyway. And if something was wrong, Opie is right around the corner."

"I guess you're right. They're so close, no way Opie would let anything happen to her."

Jax scoffed, not sure what his mother was after. "And he'd let me know if my girl was in some kind of trouble."

Gemma nodded, pleased to learn that little miss perfect wasn't so perfect after all. Eric Knowles' temper was practically legend. And she had heard, on more than one occasion, how some nights he'd get so drunk that he'd lose that temper on his daughter. As Tara got older, Gemma heard that the fights stopped being so one sided. That the two of them would be in that house screaming and throwing things until someone showed up to stop them. And she had no doubt who that someone was. "Either way, you're not seeing her until _after_ dinner."

"She's expecting me now."

"Well call her and tell her you'll be there later." And with any luck she could get Clay to distract him after dinner. Or maybe she could get one of the girls to distract him. The fact that he was home every night let her know that little Tara wasn't putting out for him yet. Being a healthy teenage boy she doubted Jax would pass up an offer with a willing woman.

Jax didn't know what the fuck his mother's deal was. He and Opie skipped out on family dinners plenty of times. He couldn't help but wonder if this had anything to do with Clay, in getting him to accept the marriage. He'd thought he was doing better with that. Shit, he wasn't really sure what more she wanted from him on that front. But he wasn't going to let her torpedo his entire night with Tara. And he knew arguing with her would cause her to do just that. "Alright fine. I'll let her know I'll see her as soon as I get done eating."

When he turned and walked away, Gemma was sure that he gave in much too easily. But she didn't worry about it too much. He was a smart kid, fortunately she was smarter. "Make it quick. I don't want you on the phone with her for the next two hours."

"Yeah, okay." Jax jerked his shoulders dismissively. He didn't plan on even being at the house for the next two hours.

* * *

><p>Tired seemed to be the constant state for Piney recently. There was a time he could handle his boy, late nights at the clubhouse, and whatever other shit life happened to toss his way. The recent years, the shit that was going on with the club, JT, and Clay, it began to weigh on him more. Even before JT died he allowed his hold on the club to loosen, found he was tired of fighting. Giving up that fight was freeing in a way he found himself ashamed of, especially with his boy every bit as determined to become a Son as he ever was. It was when he saw Opie falling deeper, overheard him talking to Jax about them being patched, he began to regret letting go. He would have been proud to see his son as a member of the club he built. He wasn't sure if he wanted his son to be a part of the club Clay was creating.<p>

Now Eric, a man he cared for like a brother seemed to be slipping from him the same way JT was. Piney didn't pretend to understand what went on every second of every day between Ric and Tara. He knew it was bad, knew better than anyone that things hadn't been good since Claire died. But after a number of years he was getting pretty good at predicting the change in tides in the Knowles household. He just couldn't seem to remember things being this bad between them. Ric was drinking more, the fights got louder, out of control faster, and Tara was spending more nights on his couch.

"Piney." Ever the hostess Gemma crossed the room to kiss him on the cheek. "You look beat."

"Just hungry." Piney replied gruffly.

"Where's Opie?" The question came from Jax, he'd been perched on the edge of the couch, eyeing the clock, and mentally cursing every member who was late to arrive.

Piney's eyes narrowed. He thought Jax would have known that Tara was staying with them. Actually he would have thought Jax would be at his house with Opie and Tara. He didn't know why Jax didn't know, figured there must have been some reason Opie and Tara were keeping quiet, and decided he wouldn't be the one to say anything. "He's, uh, with that girl."

Piney was a good liar, in their life, he had to be. But Gemma had known him long enough to know his tell. "His girl, huh. What's her name?"

"Don't know." Piney replied easily. "Don't care. Are we going to eat or what?"

As everyone began to make their way to the kitchen, Jax stood and headed in the opposite direction.

"Jackson." Gemma called to her son. "Where are you going?"

"I need to make a quick call." He tossed his answer over his shoulder, not even bothering to look back at his mother. Stepping into his bedroom, cordless in hand, he made a point to close the door behind him as he dialed Tara's number. It wasn't the first time he called, wasn't even the second, and as he got the answering machine for the third time, he really hoped she hadn't left out to meet him. "Hey, Tara, I hope you get this before you leave. I'm held up at home, dinner thing. My mom's kinda up my ass about it. I still want to see you, so I was thinking we could catch a later show. I should be able to get out of here in about a half hour, hour tops. Gimme a call, let me know. Talk to you later." Clicking off the phone, he stuffed it in the kangaroo pouch of his sweatshirt and stepped out of the room fully prepared to shovel down his dinner so he could get out of the house.

* * *

><p>"I don't see why you won't just let me use your truck."<p>

Keeping his eyes trained on the TV and idly flipping through the channels, Opie wondered if Tara was aware of just how annoying she became once she started dating Jax. There was a time they could have sat together for hours and not uttered a single word to one another, now she wouldn't shut up about using his truck. "What would you even tell Jax if you went to pick him up in my truck." Now he did turn to look at her. "How about this, you tell him what's going on with your dad, and I'll let you use my truck."

"There's nothing to tell." Tara said for what felt like the hundredth time. "My dad drinks, everyone knows that." When he sighed and turned back to the TV, she realized that she said the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. "Please, Ope. I just want to see him, spend time with him. And if you don't want me driving your truck, just come with us. I can call Candy, we can make it a group thing."

"I'm not spending another night watching you and Jax make out."

"It won't be like that." She began in a rush and almost instantly regretted it. She knew Jax, knew herself, getting him to keep his hands to himself in a dark movie theater would not be easy. And not getting swept away in his kisses and dissuading his advances was not going to be easy for her. But now that she threw it out there, she realized it was now a promise. "It's just the four of us, catching a movie." And being with Jax, just spending time with him, was her main goal. She'd deal with missing his kisses later. "It won't be like last time."

Opie's mistake was turning to look at her. He'd have told her no if she wasn't giving him the eyes. Probably would have told her no. More than likely. Shit, he'd have at least thought about it. "Fuck it. Fine."

Tara practically beamed at him. "Thanks, Ope. I'll call Candy." She dialed her friend's number quickly, wanting to get the other girl in on their plans before Opie could change his mind. "Hi, Mr. Eglee, it's Tara….yeah…everything's fine…thanks…okay." It only took a few moments for her friend to come on the line. "Hey."

"Tara, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie tonight with me, Jax, and Opie."

"Opie," The frown and confusion was clear in Candy's voice. "Opie's going to the movies? With you and Jax?"

"Yeah, I kind of had to promise to keep things strictly PG, but he's going. And don't worry, I fully plan on keeping my word. So you in?"

"You and Jax being, well you and Jax, wasn't really my problem." Candy spoke the words slowly and Tara wasn't entirely sure what her friend was getting at, though she wasn't putting much effort into trying to figure it out. "But, sure, I'll go."

"Great. We'll be by to pick you up in about an hour."

Opie shook his head, Tara was practically beaming. He wondered if she and Jax could possibly get any worse than they already were. "I hope you know that I'm picking the movie." He stood up to make his way back to the shower. "You should call Jax. I can guarantee Gemma made him stay for dinner but he'll probably head straight to your house after."

Tara was dialing Jax's number before Opie had even finished speaking and was glad that he was well out of the room by the time Jax answered. "Hey."

"Hey," Jax smiled as he backed away from the table, ignoring his mother's harsh look, and headed towards the living room. "You get my message."

"I didn't hear it but my dad told me you called." Tara lied, banking down the twinge of guilt she felt. "You didn't change your mind about tonight did you?"

"No, no." Jax was quick to answer. "It's just I got stuck at home but I still want to see you."

"Oh, good. My dad took the car but I talked to Candy and Opie, I figured we could all head to the movies together."

Although he was disappointed, Jax tried not to let her hear it. He wanted to be alone with her, at least as alone as they could get in a movie theater. He wondered if this would have been a problem if his mother hadn't stopped him from leaving when he wanted. "Sounds like a plan."

"I'll have Opie pick me up and then we'll swing by and get you before picking up Candy. Think you'll be ready in an hour."

Jax looked back towards the dinning room, his mother was watching him. He knew she was going to have a fit. "Works for me, babe. I'll see you in a bit."

"See you."

* * *

><p>Even though they'd been together for a little more than three months, Jax and Tara hadn't actually gone out together much. They hung out at Eglee's, at her house, once or twice at the garage, and there had been a party or two in the mix somewhere. Bowling had been their first activity together. But Tara would have figured they did enough 'hanging out' to have picked up on each other's quirks. She was wrong.<p>

Going to the movies with Jax and Opie was an experience. She always liked watching Jax and Opie together, the way the clicked and meshed together despite how different they were. Opie was methodical about picking a movie. Jax, for reasons Tara wouldn't learn until later, was rushing his friend through the process. And Opie finally picked-_Naked Gun: Thirty-Three and a Third_-Jax all but shoved Tara at the concession stand and rushed into the theater. Opie went with him, claiming Jax needed a handler, leaving Candy in line at the concession stand as well.

Tara and Candy got through the line in just enough time to walk into the theater as the lights dimmed. They found Opie easily enough and Tara wasn't sure if she should be surprised to find him sitting alone. She didn't even have to ask Opie where her boyfriend was as he pointed to the back of the theater before she could speak.

Jax was sitting in the very back corner of the theater where there was as aisle that consisted of only two chairs. And suddenly his earlier behavior made total sense. Tara wasn't sure if she should be annoyed at having to walk all the way around the theater to get back to him or happy that he found a way for them to be relatively alone. "You know if we were here by ourselves I never would have found you."

"If we were here by ourselves we wouldn't have spent twenty minutes waiting for Opie to pick a movie and I wouldn't have had to rush in here to make sure we got these seats." Actually if they were alone he'd have suggested they go to the drive-in theater that still operated in Charming. "You mixed something chocolate into the popcorn didn't you?" Jax didn't even have to look in the bucket to know she did. He'd seen her do it plenty of times when they watched a movie together at her house. Once he watched dribble Hershey's syrup over a bowl of popcorn. And still that wasn't as bad as watching her dip French Fries in ice cream.

Finding a kernel that wasn't covered in melted _Goobers_, Tara held it up to his lips pleased when he opened his mouth to take it. "Don't worry, I'm not going to force you to eat it. Got a pack of _Twizzlers_ for you."

"My baby knows what I like." And though her sweet and salty fixation was not something he shared or thought he'd ever get use to, Jax could admit he liked the taste of her lips with the hint of salt and chocolate on them.

They settled into the movie. Jax had his arm wrapped around Tara's back so that his hand rested on her hip and he could hold her close to his side despite the armrest between them. The hand on her hip, however, didn't remain idle. Every so often his fingers would dance up her side, each time he'd inch the large flannel she wore higher and higher until the skin just above her jeans was exposed, which seemed to be all the opening he needed to allow his fingers to roam. His thumb would rub circles over her ribs, his pinky would dip below the waist of her jeans before the tips of his fingers danced over her belly or around to the small of her back.

Oddly Tara's breaking point came when he opened the _Twizzlers_. She thought maybe he was doing it on purpose, like he knew even before she did that she'd go crazy watching him nibble on the red vines. So shifting in her seat, she leaned in until she was close enough to do some nibbling of her own. The kisses she placed on his lips were light pecks that changed to teasing little nips whenever he bit off a piece of candy.

"I thought you promised Opie no funny business." Jax whispered the words out of the corner of his mouth.

"He told you?" And Tara wasn't really sure why she was surprised by that. Not only did Opie and Jax seem to tell each other everything but they never missed the chance to give each other a hard time. And she should have known Opie would take the first available chance to needle Jax about the promise she made.

Because she tilted her head back when she spoke, Jax was able to lower his lips to hers, placing gentle teasing kisses on her lips while he spoke. "He couldn't stop laughing."

"Well he's not actually here now, is he."

"That's very true." The hand that was on her hip came up to slide into her hair.

In an attempt to get even closer to him, Tara's hand dropped to his thigh so she could brace herself as she leaned over the armrest. She was having none of his playful kisses. The hand on his thigh gripped tightly at his jeans as her other hand tangled in his hair. Her mouth wasn't gentle or teasing or soft but hot, desperate, and demanding.

There was a part of Jax that knew this wasn't the place to take things too far. But the theater was so dark and she was just so fucking hot, he couldn't help himself. He waited for her to stop him when his hand slid under her flannel. Waited for her to tense, pause, and push him away when his hand didn't stop until he was cupping her breast. And he waited but she didn't respond the way he thought she would. She took him off guard. And it was all he could do not to crawl on top of her and give everyone in the theater a show.

"Can't take you anywhere, can I?" Tara kissed the words onto his lips.

The hand she had tangled in his hair came down to take his wrist, guiding his hand off her breast back out from under her shirt and around to her ass. It was a move that had him biting back any reply he would have made in favor of taking her mouth in another kiss.

"Think you can keep quiet, Teller?"

Jax pulled back, eyes darting quickly around the theater to make sure everyone was still focused on the movie. Turning his attention back to Tara, he gave her ass an affectionate squeeze, grinning when she sank her teeth into her bottom lip to keep from making any noise. "I'm not the one with the noise problem."

"Asshole." But it was said with affection, more importantly it was said barely a second before her tongue traced along the lines of his mouth.

"Yeah, but I'm your asshole."

It made her heart flutter to hear him say it. "Yes, you are." Fisting her hands in his shirt she practically pulled him across the armrest.

Jax laughed, thoroughly enjoying his girl taking control. She didn't do it often but it got him every time she did. He didn't know if she was close to being ready for sex. And he wouldn't deny it was frustrating as hell. Of course he loved the way she would climb into his lap and grind down on him until he was ready to beg. But every twist of her hips filled his mind with images of her naked beneath him.

What was worse, he didn't know how to get more out of her. Ever since his fuck up around her birthday he made sure to be careful with her. He didn't want to do anything to piss her off or make her leave. But he was afraid that if something didn't happen between them soon his control would snap and he'd really scare her off.

"Hey," Tara's voice was soft as she broke the kiss. She had to bite back another moan as Jax went immediately to her neck. "You know what we should do?"

"What?"

"We should go out to Opie's truck." At this Jax pulled back with a large grin. "We can make all the noise we want out there."

"You are fucking perfect."

"Too bad the movie's over."

Because the words were spoken directly into his ear, Jax jumped away from Tara. "The fuck, dude?"

Opie laughed, not at all sorry for the scare he gave his friend. "Get your hand off her ass, brother. I'm going to hit the head-"

"That's attractive, Ope." Tara mumbled as she straightened out her clothes. Next to her, Jax dropped his head onto the back of his chair with a frustrated sigh.

"Then I'm leaving." Opie continued as if Tara hadn't interrupted him. "You're not at the truck, I'm leaving without you. I won't feel bad about it either."


	14. Chapter 14

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 14**

Tara wasn't sure why she let Jax talk her into letting him come back home with her. She knew _how_ he did it, all the boy had to do was run his lips over her pulse and she lost all ability to tell him no. Actually it was like she lost all ability to think, as it didn't occur to her until after they got to her house that they were actually going to have to climb through her bathroom window to get in. Fortunately Jax readily bought her excuse of still being grounded and that she locked her bedroom door to keep her father from finding her gone.

"Father's tend to take a teenage girl's locked bedroom door at face value." Tara explained as she stood in her bathroom and watched Jax boost himself in. "The music gives the impression that I'm in a seriously funky mood."

"My mom would take it as a sign to remove the lock from the door."

Jax stepped into her bedroom-kicking off his shoes, tossing aside his cap, and removing his heavy sweatshirt-every bit as comfortable as he was the first time. And it was thinking about that first time that made Tara _un_comfortable. She'd been absolute putty in his hands, might have let him do whatever he wanted with her. Now he was back in her room, those two days of hell she'd been through still fresh in her mind, but nothing compared to the last few weeks of him being a near perfect boyfriend.

"Mind if I take off the sad chick music." It wasn't a question as he was already at the stereo shifting through her collection.

Tara went to stand next to him at the dresser, pulling open the first drawer to grab the pair of shorts and T-shirt laying on top. "Tori Amos is a goddess. And if you can't appreciate that, than just go ahead and take it off."

Not at all offended Jax popped the cassette out. "You have an odd collection of music here, Knowles. Hey," There was a teasing grin on his lips as he turned to look at her. "Don't feel like you have to go into the bathroom to change on my account."

The look in his eyes was all she needed to prove just how much she needed to changed away from him.

By the time she came out of the bathroom Jax had The Black Crowes pouring out of the stereo and was propped up against her headboard. She was in a large pair of gym shorts that hung low off her hips while the _Taste of Charming_ T-shirt she wore seemed several years old by the tight fit and he thought he was falling in love with the clothes she wore around the house. "Come here." He patted the spot on the bed beside him.

Tara went to the bed, but instead of laying down next to him she sat on the foot of the bed facing him. "So where are you on your bike?"

"Right on schedule. I'll be done by my birthday, if not before."

"Now all you have to do is pass the driver's test."

"That's in the bag, babe."

"You never told me how long you've been riding."

"Since I was a kid. I was ten the first time my old man took me out." Dropping his arm next to the leg she had stretched out beside him, he allowed his hand to run absently along the exposed skin. "Thomas had gotten really sick, he was actually back in the hospital. It messed me up, you know. My old man, I guess he didn't want me to feel bad, so he took me out. It became kind of our thing after awhile." Sometimes it made him feel bad, that he was able to go out and for a few hours forget what was going on. Because his mother, Thomas, they were never able to forget. But now, after losing his father, the memories meant all the more to him.

"That's sweet." She recognized the look that settled over him, knew the way the memories of his father made him feel. She'd seen him sad before and hated it now more than before. "I've been in a car with you behind the wheel, so your dad must have been a very brave man."

"Hey."

Tara caught the dangerous glint in his eye but chose to ignore it. "With any luck you'll get a woman for the road test and use that pretty face of yours to distract from how piss poor your driving is."

Quicker than she even knew he could move, Jax's hand was wrapped around her ankle and yanked her half-way down the bed. And he was hunched over her, deft fingers torturing her ticklish ribs, before she could recover.

"Jax, stop!" The command came out on a shriek of laughter, her body twisting but she was unable to avoid his attack.

"Not until you tell me how good a driver I am." He eased up a moment, thinking to allow her to catch her breath so she could speak. He forgot who he was dealing with.

"If you want me to lie-"

He cut her off by placing his hand just above her knee and squeezing. Tara's entire body jackknifed, damn near bucking him clear off the bed.

"Jax!" Tara wasn't sure if she was being tickled or tortured but she could hardly take in enough air to tell him what he wanted to hear. "Okay, okay."

Jax allowed his hand to loosened a bit, the ease in pressure sending her into a giggle fit. "Okay, what."

"You're a good driver, now stop. Please stop."

Jax sat back with a pleased grin, he opened his mouth to speak only for the words to back up in his throat. In an attempt to protect both her ribs and the insane spot he found on her thigh, Tara had brought her knees up to her chest. And the move had caused the wide leg of the shorts to drop back until they revealed the graceful line of her hip.

Jax couldn't fully recall giving himself permission to move, would have sworn his brain had simply clicked off as he wasn't even aware of what he was doing until he heard Tara's surprised gasp.

Tara had felt the change in atmosphere, realized Jax's playful mood was gone but she hadn't been quick enough to realize what had happened. Hadn't even been aware of his intentions until she felt his breath on her skin seconds before his mouth closed over the sensitive skin of her hip.

"Tara."

He didn't even bother to take his mouth away as he growled her name and it had all the muscles in Tara's stomach tying into knots. He was asking her permission for something but she wasn't sure what, only knew that no one had ever asked it of her before.

When Tara nodded, Jax gripped the waistband of her shorts to yank them roughly down her thighs. He didn't even bother to pull them past her knees before his mouth closed over her panty clad core. Tara cried out and Jax's lips curled in a self-satisfied grin as he pressed the flat of his tongue against her. He could taste her, just a hint of her through the cotton, and it was enough to have a groan rumble deeply in his chest.

Tara's back arched so sharply off of the bed she thought it'd snap. One of her hands tangled in his hair as the other gripped the fabric of his T-shirt as if her mind couldn't decided rather to hold him closer or push him away. She thought this shouldn't feel so good, not with the awkward way they were positioned. Her shorts were still at her knees and with his body thrown over them, she was unable to close or open her legs any further. Jax's hands were cupped under her bottom, doing his level best to bring her closer to his mouth but again the shorts were hampering his effort. She tried to remove them, tried shifting her legs to shimmy the material down to her ankles but Jax refused to budge. And when he slipped a finger into the sides of her panties to tease at her entrance, Tara forgot all about the shorts.

Jax felt surrounded by her. She was wet and hot and more than he allowed himself to imagine she'd be. He tried to go slow, wanted to ease her into this, make it so good for her that waiting would no longer be an option. But he was taking her in with each breath and he wanted her so fucking much that what he wanted to do and what he actually did became separate entities.

He couldn't move away from her long enough to remove her panties, so he simply shoved them to the side. Made himself take a moment to look at her because he was the first, a thought that sent his teenage hormones skyrocketing. The first touch of his tongue to her and he moaned, she screamed. His control didn't slip away, it shattered into a million pieces.

When he allowed himself to think about this, or the endless times the thought slipped into his mind, he thought his experience would show through. That he'd go slow, make her so crazy she'd be begging him for it and even then he wouldn't give her what she wanted. He thought he'd be in complete control of her and himself. There was nothing controlled about him now. Tara was thrashing around on the bed and he was so lost in the taste of her he couldn't bother to try and calm her. He slipped a finger inside of her, not at all prepared for just how tight she'd feel around him.

Tara thought maybe she was embarrassing herself. That all the other girls that Jax had been with knew how to act with his mouth buried between their thighs. And if that pretty mouth of his wasn't sending intense pleasure throughout her body she may have been embarrassed. But at the moment all she felt was pleasure. And lucky. As Jax's mouth closed over that wonderful bundle of nerves seconds before her entire body erupted, Tara felt like the luckiest girl in Charming.

If Jax had one regret it was that he hadn't watched her come. It struck him deep in his chest as he was finally able to pull himself away from her. His arms were shaking as he braced himself over her, heart hammering in his chest as he took in the beautiful curl of her lips and the deep glossy green of her eyes. Her cheeks were flaming red, her chest rising and falling with her rapid breaths. He thought she was probably even more beautiful when she was coming, wanted to slip his fingers back between her legs to find out if he was right.

Tara wasn't sure what to do with the way Jax was looking at her. His eyes were so intense, she'd have thought he wanted to eat her alive if that wasn't exactly what he'd just done. His eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them, his pupils blown wide. His hair was a mess atop his head from her eager hands, his mouth and chin slick and wet from…_her_. The realization made her moan and before she even knew she wanted to, Tara was pulling his mouth down to hers.

As his tongue slipped passed her lips to tangle with hers, Jax couldn't help but groan at the thought of her tasting herself. "Fuck. Tara."

"Let me do something for you." Tara whispered the words against his lips. She wasn't ready for sex, not yet, but she wanted to make him feel the way he just made her feel. "Please, Jax."

He wanted to be inside her but thought that if that was what she wanted she'd have asked for it. He thought if she took him in her mouth he'd scare the shit out of her. "Here," Keeping himself braced on one arm, Jax practically ripped the button off his jeans in an effort to free his painful erection. "Wrap your hand around me."

Tara thought there may have been a time this would have been awkward but with her own taste on her tongue she knew that time was long past. Her hands were shaking as they slipped between their bodies to wrap around him. He was bigger than she thought, not that she had anything to compare him to, but the prospect of having him inside her was scary. Knew, scientifically that she'd stretch to accommodate him but at the moment didn't see how. "Tell me…Show me how."

"Your hand." It was so soft, so small, he nearly couldn't take it. "You want to make it slick so it's easier…" Jax trailed off as she brought her hand up to her mouth, swiped her tongue over her palm before lowering it between them one more time. That had not been what he was going to ask her to do, but he could admit it was much better than what he had in mind. His eyes drifted close, his mind lingering over the image of her tongue. "Wrap it tight around me. Now…"

Tara did exactly as he said, following each instruction he gave her to the letter. His voice was strained and rough, she had a hard time deciding where to look. Her eyes going down between there bodies to admire the way he looked thrusting into her hand before shooting back up to his face to take in the play of emotions there. He really was beautiful, she swore it hurt to look at him sometimes.

Suddenly his movements became erratic, the arm holding him up giving way until he collapsed on top of her. His mouth was at her ear, her name a whispered prayer on his lips. Then he groaned, long and deep seconds before she felt him spill out over her hands and onto her stomach.

"Fuck." Jax knew he was probably crushing her but at the moment he lacked the energy to roll off of her. "Jesus, Tara." He was well past the stage of hand jobs and dry humping, at least he thought he was. Didn't know what it was about Tara that made him enjoy both when other girls had given him so much more. "I'm going to move in a minute, okay, I just…Jesus, Tara." He repeated for lack of anything better.

For her part Tara could only give a contented sigh. She was sticky and thought a hot shower would be a good idea but she could admit it was nice having his weight this way. "Okay."

Their breathing seemed to slow and sync or maybe it was an illusion his mind supplied. Either way Jax buried his face in her neck and allowed his eyes to droop close. They had to get cleaned up as he was sure they made a mess of her bed and each other. He could imagine how they looked, her shorts around her ankles and his jeans halfway down his ass. "Don't let me go to sleep." He needed to go into the bathroom and get a warm rag to wipe her hands and stomach. "I wanna stay. But don't let me sleep yet."

She wanted him to stay. Wanted to go to sleep and wake with the sound of his breath in her ear and for once have it not coming over the phone line. Wanted to keep him with her here forever. "Okay." The word was barely a whisper as her eyes drifted close and her breathing evened out.

* * *

><p>The moment he climbed through her bedroom window the night before Jax had his mind set on staying the night with Tara. Though, and he'd never admit it to anyone, there was something he enjoyed about the all night phone conversations he and Tara had, he was ready to wake up to the sound of her voice and have her actually next to him. When he woke in the middle of the night to find himself sprawled out on top of her, he couldn't keep the pleased grin off his face. And because he didn't want her to wake up regretting anything that happened between them, he climbed sleepily off the bed and all but stumbled into her bathroom, tossing his T-shirt off on the way.<p>

His movements were slow and a bit unsure as he used a warm rag to wipe off her stomach and hands. Since her shorts were already down around her ankles he removed them. It was when he was getting ready to toss them that he realized just how big they really were. Having ripped the button on his jeans, Jax considered a moment before he removed them and slipped into the shorts. It was after he deposited the damp cloth back into the bathroom, and stopped by the dresser just long enough to turn off her stereo, that he had a moments hesitation by the bed.

This would be the first time he stayed the full night with a girl just sleeping and he wasn't exactly sure what to do. He knew a lot of girls liked to cuddle and he wondered if that was something Tara would want as well. And if she did, exactly how would she want him to hold her. Was he suppose to drape himself over her as he had been? Cuddle behind her? Or maybe drag her across his chest and hold her to him that way?

In the end Tara seemed to answer the question for him as she flipped over onto her back. Easy, so not to disturb her, Jax crawled back into the bed. Laying his head down next to hers, he slipped his arm around her waist to pull just a little bit closer. Tara sighed but her eyes remained close. And with a contented sigh of his own, Jax drifted back off to sleep.

It was only a few short hours later that he was woken by a heavy pounding on her door. For one fleeting moment he thought his mother had tracked him down and come to drag his ass home. Then he heard a male voice and found himself afraid her father had realized what was going on and was standing outside the door with his saw in hand.

"Come on, Tara-girl, I need to talk to you. Your music is off so I know you're not mad anymore."

Tara's eyes opened slowly, staring blankly at Jax as if she wasn't really seeing him there. When his lips curled and opened as if he were about to speak the blank look in her eyes quickly turned to panic as she slapped a hand over his mouth.

Jax knew she had the right idea, that he needed to keep quiet so her father wouldn't realize he was there, but that didn't stop him from flicking his tongue over her palm. Tara shot him a warning look even as she gave his arm a particularly vicious pinch.

The smile that curled against her palm should have been wasted. Probably would have been if it hadn't reached his eyes, making the blue even brighter. Before she could get too lost in his eyes or give in to the urge to kiss what she knew was an extremely cocky smile off his face, she turned her attention back to the door. "Dad, I'm sleeping."

"I know-" His voice was harsh, loud, and a momentary frown flitted across Jax's face at the sound. All the times he saw her dad at the house he was normally as placid as lake water. "I'm glad your music's off."

"Okay."

Jax found the exchange weird but when he thought about it, he found a lot of things weird between Tara and her father. One being the fact that Tara, with her frequent bouts of wildness, seemed to be the adult in the relationship.

"You have to go." Tara's voice was a whisper as she finally dropped her hand away from Jax's mouth and rolled off the bed. It wasn't until her feet hit the floor that she realized she was in nothing more than her T-shirt. "Are you wearing my shorts?"

"More comfortable than the jeans." Stretching out on his back, Jax held an arm out to her. "Come back to bed, your dad's gone."

For now, Tara thought. She knew him well enough to know that he'd be back a thousand times or at least until she went out and talked to him. "If he's up this early it means he's working, which means he'll be home all day, which means now is the best time to sneak you out of here." Walking around the bed she took his arm to pull him up, a feat made all the more difficult by him refusing to budge. "Jax, seriously, you have to go."

Although he thought she was really cute when she whined, Jax had no intention of leaving. That is he had no intention of leaving until he heard her father's saw start up. He practically jumped out of the bed. Tara grabbed his shoes off the floor even as she continued to pull him to the bathroom.

"Go around the back so he won't see you." Tara shoved the shoes into his chest, started to move away when Jax caught hold of her wrist to pull her in close.

"See you later?"

Despite having spent the whole night with him, Tara nodded eagerly. Framing his cheeks in her hands she leaned in to brush her lips quickly over his before giving him another shove towards the window.

* * *

><p>The moment he climbed through her window the night before Jax had very much planned on staying the night with Tara. What he hadn't planned on was climbing back out her window at the ass crack of dawn and running through the neighbors yards to get to his best friend's house. So it was a half realized plan that he couldn't complain about in the least. The plan had not been for things to progress the way they had, he only wanted to spend time with her. Maybe he was looking forward to having her grind into his lap the way she had taken to doing recently but it never occurred to him that things would go as far as they did.<p>

It seemed weak to say that after one flash of her hip he couldn't help himself but fuck if it hadn't been the truth. And he'd be damned if he'd be sorry about any of it. Doing things with her, that he knew she'd never done with anyone else, got him in a primal possessive place he didn't even know existed. But Tara touched and revealed a lot of places in him he didn't know existed.

The Winston house was quiet when he walked in but considering the hour he wasn't exactly surprised. He didn't understand how Tara's dad could not only be up but so gung-ho to work so early in the morning. He also couldn't understand how Tara slept through the sound of power tools as he had no doubt that she collapsed back into the bed once he was gone. She wouldn't be able to sleep long, as she had to be at work in a couple hours. Fortunately he wouldn't be needed at the garage so his plan was to get a little more done on his bike before heading over and keeping her company.

They'd found a rhythm, a comfort, or maybe a confidence that made it so he could go to the store or she could stop by the garage during working hours. She still asked questions, still seemed genuinely interested in what he was doing to get his bike up and running. But he found a way to answer her questions and talk to her while banking down on the need to walk away from whatever he was doing to bury his face in her neck. And with Candy a constant presence at the store Tara was very well use to working with distractions.

Jax couldn't imagine things being any better between, well actually he could. After last night he could imagine all too well what it would be like when she finally let him inside of her. He couldn't deny the need was churning inside of him something fierce. After every night spent with her, he had to return home to bury his head under a cold shower. He also spent the majority of the time they were on the phone together with his hand down his pants.

Talking to her was easier now. He could tell her things about his dad, about his feelings regarding his mother and Clay, or whatever else came to his mind without being concerned about falling any deeper for her. And he was falling deeper and harder for her, sometimes it made him crazy and it still scared him, but he no longer felt the need to run away from her.

Jax considered grabbing a shower and heading home, thought the sooner he got started on his bike the sooner he could finish for the day. Instead he found himself dropping onto the couch. There was a blanket and pillow stacked on the end of the couch. He thought it was weird, very considerate of Opie, but weird none the less. He also took it as a sign that another hour or two of sleep was a good idea.


	15. Chapter 15

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: So we're getting closer and closer to Jax discovering what's going on with Tara and her dad. I want to thank everyone for their patience and just hope you can stick with me a bit longer. All the reviews and the alerts make writing this story so much fun. As always, a bit thanks to Eve Levine.**

**Chapter 15**

"I'm gonna need to borrow a pair of jeans."

Pulling a T-shirt out of his top drawer, Opie shot a look over his shoulder at Jax. "Do I even want to know what happened to yours?"

Towel wrapped around his waist and hair still damp, Jax walked over to Opie's closet to grab a pair of jeans without waiting for an answer. "You might learn something."

Opie scoffed. "How to deal with blue balls? Before you ask, no you can't borrow a pair of boxers. So whatever pair of jeans you borrow, you can have."

Jax said nothing as he pulled the jeans on before tossing the towel aside. For the past week he'd been staying at Tara's until the early morning hours. When she woke to get ready for school it was his cue to head out to Opie's. His means of escaped had varied as her father kept the oddest fucking hours but they hadn't been caught yet.

It was a sound plan. His mother, thanks to Piney backing him up, thought he was staying with Opie. He didn't know what the hell Tara's dad thought was going on. But they'd gone out every night-movies, the diner, the arcade-and then went back to Tara's bedroom to be alone. They still made out, she was getting really fucking good at rocking her hips against him, but he hadn't gone down on her again. He wanted to, he _really_ fucking wanted to. The first time took them both by surprise. Now Jax wasn't sure how to ask again. At least he didn't know how to say "All I want is to bury my face in pussy for the rest of the night" without coming off like some depraved idiot.

There were times, over the past few nights, when he thought about going back to the plan he had before her birthday. Although his end goal had changed. He had no plans to work her out of his system or break up with her. No, he simply wanted to use his best moves on her, so that he could get her panties off her.

"I'm gonna need a pair of socks to."

"Why don't you pack a fucking bag before crashing at Tara's?"

Jax's brow creased in thought. "That's not a bad idea." Knowing Opie kept his socks in the bedside drawer, he pulled it open to grab a pair and found something much more interesting. "I can see blue balls aren't a problem for you."

Opie managed to keep his face blank when he turned to see the bra hanging off his best friend's finger.

"Unless there's something else you want to tell me. Which, if there is, I don't even want to know."

"Fuck you." Crossing the room, Opie snatched the bra off of Jax's finger. Stuffing the garment back in the drawer, he grabbed a pair of sock to toss at Jax before walking out of the room without offering any sort of explanation.

* * *

><p>"So what are you going to do for Jax's birthday?"<p>

School books spread out on top of the glass counter, Tara didn't even bother to glance up as Candy spoke. The store was empty but it wouldn't be that way for very much longer. Mr. Eglee was in the back as was his habit on Sundays, other than getting out of going to church with his wife Tara wasn't really sure what he did back there. MJ was repairing one of the baskets on the wall. And Candy, despite her father repeatedly asking her not to be, was behind the counter where she could control the stereo.

"What?" With her mind completely absorbed in her US History homework, she only half heard what her friend said.

"Jax's birthday is coming up right?"

"Oh, yeah. Next week."

"What do you have planned?"

"Me?" Now Tara did glance up. "There's going to be a party at the clubhouse. Was I suppose to do something?" She hated not knowing. Hated even more if, as his girlfriend, she was suppose to have something special planned for him and ended up not doing anything. Especially when Jax was being so amazing. She'd feel completely shitty if she couldn't get this one thing right. The only thing he wanted was his bike and that was taken care of. His mother was handling the party. "I got him something. But…was I suppose to do something special?"

"I love how utterly lost you are right now." Candy's grin spread slowly. "Finding something you don't know about, I feel like I've found a unicorn."

"Come on, tell what am I suppose to do for him?"

"Birthday BJ." MJ sang in a voice he knew wouldn't reach to the back office.

"Shut up, MJ." Candy snapped at her brother but once she was sure he wasn't looking gave Tara a look that said: _Not a bad idea._

Tara found herself simultaneously frightened and aroused by the idea. She'd be lying if she said she never thought about it, thought about it more than she figured was normal. But the thought of doing something wrong, of not pleasing him it actually scared her. "I don't want to talk about this."

It may have been cowardly but she preferred to lock it away. The way Jax looked at her, it twisted all the muscles in her stomach, made her want things she didn't fully understand. She may not have the same level-or anywhere near his level-of experience but she read the look in Jax's eyes easily enough. She just didn't know what to do with it.

Most of her doubts were her own shit. The longer they were together, the more Opie gave her his long patient looks, the more she thought maybe she should talk to Jax about her dad. It didn't help when Jax would frame her face in his hands and look at her as if he could love her. It made her feel special and oddly...whole. Even still she wasn't entirely sure what to do with that look either.

"Okay, then tell me what you're getting him."

"Riding gloves."

Candy's face became a disbelieving frown. "Riding gloves?"

Tara nodded. "Yeah. He told me he hadn't bought any yet. So I thought-"

"You'd buy him the least romantic gift a girl could buy for her guy."

With a displeased sigh, Tara sat up. "It's what he wants. I mean, I asked him, and he said riding gloves."

"That's because he didn't know how to tell you what her really wants." Candy's lips curled in a grin that was practically evil. "Which is you spread naked against some surface somewhere for a few hours."

"Seriously." MJ interrupted with a look that mirrored his tone. "All I ask is that we go one day without your bikers."

"All of a sudden Mr. Birthday BJ is sensitive? And bikers?" Tara's brow creased only momentary before she turned her attention back to her homework. "I only have one, though he is a handful."

Candy simply chose to ignore her brother. "You can _not_ get him riding gloves for his birthday, Tara.

"And you've discussed this with Jax, have you?"

"I didn't have to talk to him to know that. Jax is a horndog of the highest order and the way he looks at you…"

"Like his balls are about to explode." MJ supplied.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about this." Tara reminded him.

"I don't." MJ said easily enough. "But I'm a guy, I feel it's my responsibility to save a fellow brother from a case of the worse blue balls in history."

"Shut _up_, MJ." Candy rolled her eyes as their father stepped out of the back office.

"You know, Candice, instead of distracting Tara maybe you should bring your books along and study with her."

"My homework is already done, daddy."

It didn't surprise Tara that Candy's response wasn't the one Mr. Eglee was looking for and as the argument between father and daughter began, she tuned out. It was an argument she didn't fully understand. Her dad never got on her about her grades, granted she never gave him cause to. And all conversations she had with her dad about school went exactly the same way. He'd ask how she was doing, she'd tell him alright, after that they went their separate ways. Once or twice she wondered what he'd do if she told him she was failing everything but she never cared enough to do it.

As the argument continued Tara couldn't help but think about how Mr. and Mrs. Eglee actually worked. Mr. Eglee had always been a hard-ass when it came to his children's grades while his wife seemed to think they were doing okay as long as they weren't failing. And she'd been around them both enough to know that it wasn't the only thing they took such different stands on. Yet somehow they worked. It just didn't seem like two people, who were so markedly different, could work as well and as long as they did.

It made her think about her own parents. Her mother the math teacher who would sit her down and go over equations beyond her grade level and her father who seemed more proud of her taking Art than AP Biology. If her mother were still alive, would they still be together? Would they have a system that ran as smoothly as Mr. and Mrs. Eglee? It wasn't something she liked to think about. What could be often hurt a thousand times worse than what was. And wondering if this would have been an argument she'd have had with her mother caused the air to back up in Tara's lungs.

"Oh, come on!"

MJ's voice, high pitched and full of discord snapped Tara out of her thoughts, allowing her to take a breath.

"I closed last night."

"And Tara closed all through football season, stop complaining about two nights in a row."

Unlike Candy, Tara did her best to hide her smirk while Mr. Eglee was still in the store, once he was out the door however she couldn't help but laugh at the petulant look on MJ's face. "Maybe if you dated girls a little bit older you wouldn't have to worry about their eight o'clock curfew."

Moving towards the store room, MJ chose to keep quiet and give Tara the finger as the bell over the door sounded.

Tara couldn't help but to smile as Jax quickly made his way across the store to lean across the counter and press his lips to the curve of her neck. "Hey," She turned her head slightly to give him better access.

"Hey," Because she was studying and he knew just how serious she was about it, Jax placed another, wetter, kiss to her neck before backing away. He was use to her studying and ignoring him. Sometimes she let him distract her, but more often than not Tara's focus was on her books until she was completely done with her work. And yeah, it totally turned him on. It was just something about seeing her give her full attention to something, ignoring everything else, that did it for him. He wanted to be the center of that attention. Wanted to be what she focused on until everything else fell away.

* * *

><p>"Goddamn." Clay walked out of the clubhouse to see the two recently restored bikes that Opie and Jax were currently pushing out of the garage, both boys had large proud grins on their faces. "You boys did a damn fine job on these."<p>

Piney stood next to Clay, arms crossed over his chest and face perfectly impassive. "Get more than a mile without them falling apart and then we'll see what's what."

"Thanks, Pop."

"Club's got business." Clay told Gemma as the other members came out of the clubhouse and climbed onto the backs of their bikes.

"The party starts at six." Gemma called out a reminder, the men all waved their hands in acknowledgement as they pulled out of the lot. "Alright, so let's get a picture of you boys."

Both Jax and Opie rolled their eyes but knew better than to put up an argument. Some how, Gemma always got her way. They leaned against their bikes, arms crossed over their chests, and pleased grins curling their lips.

Jax wouldn't ask, but he was sure Opie's heart was pounding just as his was. This moment, having his bike, was one he'd thought about for so long. This first step towards finally earning his patch. There was an ache he couldn't deny pressing down on his chest. He was missing his old man. He missed him everyday. But now, more than ever, he wished for his old man. Wanted his father around to see what he'd done and to be proud of him. Wanted it so much it caused his eyes to sting.

"Oh, wow."

The sound of Tara's voice snapped Jax immediately out his thoughts. Didn't realize just how distracted he was until he saw that she was standing right next to him and he hadn't even noticed. And just one look at her, at the pride in _her_ eyes, had the dark cloud that settled over him drifting away. "Didn't think I could do it, did you?"

"I knew you could do it." Tara started to step forward, wanted to take his face in her hands and run her tongue over that knowing smirk. But Gemma was watching them and she doubted very much that Jax's mother would appreciate that.

"What do you think?" Jax ran a loving hand over the bike but kept his eyes on Tara. Clay and the guys always talked about how hot bikes made chicks. He liked knowing Tara fell into that group as well.

If Tara knew what he was thinking she'd tell him it wasn't the bike but rather the way his hand slid over the bike that had her eyes darkening. "It's…" Sexy was the word that came to mind but again, Gemma being around made her bite it back. "Amazing."

"You know, I just built a bike, too, Tara."

Tara didn't even bother to turn her head as she responded to Opie. "Yeah, it's great."

Use to this behavior, Opie only chuckled as he strapped on his helmet. "Well, I didn't build it just to sit around on it all day. See you guys later."

"Opie," There was a warning in Gemma's voice. "Back here by six."

"Yes, mom." He flashed her a bashful grin before speeding out of the lot.

Left alone with the lovebirds Gemma could barely suppress her eye roll. Jax was like a drooling puppy around that damn girl. She shuddered to think what would happen when little miss perfect finally gave him the key to the lock at her knee. The last thing she needed was for him to get strung out on pussy. And if he was like this now, she was very much afraid that it would eventually happen.

She thought up a hundred ways to come between them, each one dismissed more quickly than the next. She wouldn't be the bad guy, she knew too well how that would play between two highly emotional, hormonal teenagers. They'd become even more twisted together as they protected their relationship from her. No, she wouldn't be the bad guy. She'd let Tara hang herself.

Jax was still ignorant to Eric's bouts of violence which meant he had no idea that Tara was likely sleeping on his best friend's couch. She didn't want to come between Jax and Opie, they were the future of the club. She assured herself that the two boys were as close as brothers and that once they were rid of that girl, they'd realize the poison she brought into their lives. It was why she invited Eric to Jax's party. The more she saw the man, the more obvious it became that he was not a hundred percent on board with Jax and Tara's relationship. Gemma figured that once he was liquored up, it wouldn't take him long to make his displeasure known. Eric would lose it and Jax would began to see that Tara's father wasn't as placid as she made him out to be. And that first doubt would only splinter out to more.

"Hey kids," Gemma's smile was easy, not a hint of her true thoughts betrayed on her face. "Why don't I get some pictures of the two of you together?" She could play nice. Knowing tonight would be the beginning of the end of this relationship, she had no trouble playing nice.

* * *

><p>Tara could admit that the appeal of motorcycles was one that alluded her. She'd seen the club riding through the streets of Charming for as long as she could remember. Even watched a few of the races at the clubhouse from the front seat of the Cutlass when she was a little girl. The first time Jax showed her his nearly completed bike and insisted she sit on the back, she tried to imagine what it would be like and still she didn't get it. When he placed the helmet on her head and slid his sunglasses over her eyes she stopped being concerned about the appeal and worried over just how safe it was. And when he started the bike up, the initial jerk causing her to tighten her arms around his waist, she had visions of the two of them laid out on the side of the road somewhere. Before she could voice her fear or make sure he knew exactly what he was doing, he was speeding out of the lot and her arms tightened even more around him.<p>

But once they hit the street and Jax drove them out of Charming, she relaxed and she thought she was finally beginning to understand. On the one hand it was incredibly soothing. The road stretched for miles. There were no surrounding buildings, hardly any traffic, and no sound save for bike's engine. She thought it would be easy to close her eyes and drift along. School, work, his mother, her father all seemed a million miles away.

Yeah, it should have been soothing. But there was a primal aspect that she hadn't been expecting. Feeling the bike under her with Jax pressed between her thighs heated her blood like nothing had before. The bike was so big, so heavy, but Jax was handling it as if it was nothing at all. Some part of her felt as if he was handling her as well.

More than anything she loved the smile Jax shot her over his shoulder. Whenever she relaxed enough to loosen her hold on him, he'd push the bike to go faster until she was holding tight again. At one point he moved his hand off the handlebars to place it on her thigh. She had practically shrieked his name in his ear, nudging his arm with her elbow to get him to take hold of the bike with both hands again. Jax had laughed, sent her a wink in the rearview, and Tara thought she was falling in love with him.

She never thought she could feel this way. Didn't know what to do with the feelings churning away inside of her. There were times Jax would touch her and make her feel achy and out of control. Or times when she could sit in her den with his arm wrapped around her and feel safe. When they talked-about her mother or his dad or books or music or movies-she didn't feel alone anymore. Everything about him touched every part of her.

On her birthday she swore she wouldn't let him in again. It was a promise that crumbled whenever he looked at her with deeply earnest blue eyes. And things she thought she'd never tell anyone spilled from her lips. Still, she couldn't tell him about her father. Told herself that things were quieting down again so there was nothing to tell. But only a few days ago she'd tried sneaking in well past midnight, somehow Gemma had figured out it wasn't Opie's house that Jax was spending his nights at. Her father had been waiting for her with a bottle of Jack in his hand. He yelled, so she yelled back. It was like her anger was feeding off of his. When he had enough, he grabbed her roughly by the arm and flung her into a wall.

The sound of her back colliding with the unforgiving surface seemed to sober him right up. Tara had wanted to take hold of the lamp and throw it at his head. Wanted to push off the wall and go straight for his neck. Being with Jax, hiding out with Opie and Piney, she forgot just how quick a man's temper could snap. And she thought that one day she would kill her father for putting his hands on her. Instead she scrambled off the floor and ran to her room, shutting and locking the door at her back before climbing out the window and once again heading to Opie's.

The next day she wore long sleeps to cover the bruise on her arm but she hadn't been able to hid her wince when Jax touched the sensitive areas on her back. He asked her what happen, his blue eyes so filled with concern she thought she would cry. And instead of giving him the truth, she looked him right in the eye and lied. She hadn't even bothered to look at Opie as she already knew the disappointed look he'd be giving her.

The guilt she'd been feeling doubled since then and she'd spent hours laying awake at night trying to think of ways to make it up Jax. She thought his birthday would give her the opportunity to do something nice for him. But when he opened the box containing the riding gloves she bought for him, she realized she'd missed the mark.

Sure Jax had grinned and kissed her cheek and told her the gloves were exactly what he needed. But she would have sworn she'd seen a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. And even though he made a show of slipping the gloves on before starting the bike, Tara knew he wasn't as touched by her gift to him as she was by the one he'd given her on her birthday. She wanted to make him happy. As happy as he was making her.

"You okay back there?"

They were stopped at a light, Tara wasn't even aware they'd headed back into town. "Yeah." The conversation she had with MJ and Candy began to creep into her thoughts. Her stomach fluttered with nerves but she was speaking before she could talk herself out of it. "Hey, can we swing by my place before heading to the party? There's something I need to pick up."

"Sure, babe."

She's been friends with MJ and Candy her entire life and she hardly ever listen to their advice on things. As Jax pointed the bike in the direction of her house, Tara wondered why she decided to start now.


	16. Chapter 16

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 16**

"Where's your old man?"

"At Teller-Morrow with the rest of Charming waiting to wish the Prince a happy birthday." Tara tossed a teasing grin over her shoulder that had Jax reaching forward to slap her on her ass. She wasn't fast enough to dodge the blow and she couldn't help but to laugh at the grin he was giving her in return.

Stepping into her bedroom Jax wasted no time throwing himself across her bed. Folding his arms behind his head, he allowed his eyes to drift close. All his life he dreamed about what the first ride on his own bike would be like. Sometimes he liked to think that he would get his kutte and his bike on the same day. As he got older or depending on his mood, the dream would change. Sometimes there'd be a hot chick on the back. Other times it would be him alone on the open road. He saw himself riding with the club following behind. Once or twice he even allowed himself to imagine what it would be like to ride with his old man, but it hurt so much he tried not to think of it often.

Never in his head did it turn out like today. Riding with Tara, having her trust him that way, hold on to him that way, he never imagined it could be like that. Something about it made him feel closer to her than before. He thought maybe it was because it felt like there was no one in the world but the two of them. More he thought it had something to do with sharing something that meant so much to him with her.

Already, despite Tara's lackluster gift and even before his party or he found out what his mother got him, Jax thought this was one of the best birthdays he ever had. Part of him felt guilty for the thought. It was the first birthday without his old man. But the club had been running his old man so ragged that JT hadn't really been present the last few birthdays Jax had. And years before that Thomas had been so sick there wasn't much to celebrate.

"Tara, what the hell are you doing. My mom's going to shit a brick if I'm not back for the party soon."

"I know, I just…"

Her voice was soft, unsure, and had a frown creasing Jax's brow before he felt the bed dip. When she settled over him the frown was quickly replaced with a wide grin. He started to open his eyes only for Tara to cover them quickly with her hand.

"I have a present for you."

His curiosity, not to mention his dick, were immediately peaked. "You already gave me a present." Though he could admit he already liked where this was heading more than the riding gloves.

"I think you'll like this one a lot more." Tara couldn't help but roll her eyes at the stupid grin on his face. He was just so happy, the last thing she wanted to do was mess this day up for him. Taking one last breath, Tara held it as she removed her hand from his eyes.

The grin Jax wore became frozen as his eyes blinked open and he was finally able to take her in. She was completely naked from the waist up, her bottom lip caught between her teeth and a deep blush flaming out from her checks and down to her chest. "Tara…" His tongue felt heavy and thick, he could barely remove it from the roof of his mouth.

"Will you…" She didn't know how to ask. "Let me…"

Jax thought he'd let her do whatever the fuck she wanted if she always asked sitting half naked a top him. Pulling one hand off from behind his head, he reached out to run his hand along her collarbone, between her breast, and down to her belly button. She shivered, the rosy pink tips of her breasts hardening. "Yeah…Tara…whatever you want."

Tara smiled, loving the way the blue of his eyes darkened as they followed the path his fingers took. Her hands were shaking when she brought them to the top button of his flannel. "Say my name again."

Something about the way she asked-her voice low and a bit husky even though her hands were trembling as she worked her way down his shirt-cut straight through him. "Tara."

It made her smile. Even after all these months it made her heart flutter when he said her name. But she thought she loved it even more when he said it with his voice low and thick the way it was now. Finally having worked all the buttons loose, Tara pushed the flannel open as she lowered her mouth to his chest. "Again."

"Tara." Her lips were soft and warm as they moved over him.

Not entirely sure what she was doing, Tara kissed and sucked at his chest much the same way she did at his neck. She thought the heavy drum of his heart under her tongue was even better than his pulse. And maybe it was foolish but she thought she enjoyed the taste of his skin even better, somehow the hint of salt even more potent as she worked her way lower.

The muscles in his stomach contracted as her fingers brushed over the trail of hair below his navel. It seemed only natural that she feel that contraction with her lips, run her tongue over the muscles starting to develop there. Her hand went to the button of his jeans, she could feel him growing hard and straining against the zipper. "Can you…I just need you to shift around."

"Alright, yeah." Jax moved until his head was resting on her pillows. Then realizing there was a much better position he could be in, her reached out to pull her down to his chest. When he started to flip so that she would lay under him, Tara placed her hands on his shoulders to stop him.

"Jax, wait. It's your birthday."

"Yeah, I know. This is what I want for my birthday."

"Let me?" She repeated, green eyes pleading. "Jax please, let me."

He groaned low in his throat. He could definitely get use to hearing Tara beg. "Do whatever you want, babe."

Her momentum having been interrupted, Tara felt her nerves coming back in full force. Going back to safer ground, she lay until her chest was pressed to his and didn't bother to bite back her sigh of pleasure. She didn't understand why they hadn't done this sooner. Jax's chest was so warm, so solid beneath hers, and she loved the way she could feel his heart beating against hers. There was a light sheen of sweat starting to break out on his skin, causing her to slid against him. She had no idea that would feel _so_ _good_.

Her nerves still danced wildly but there was a tug low in her belly that encourage her to trail her kisses down his body. To taste the sweat and salt of his skin, to mark him where she could, to enjoy the boy laid out in front of her. The boy she knew without a doubt she was falling in love with.

As Tara's hands began to work the button of his jeans open, Jax was almost positive this was going to be his best birthday ever. He didn't know what had gotten into her. Wondered if the riding gloves were just a ruse to surprise him with this. Though he wasn't entirely sure what _this_ was. He thought if this was leading to sex, she'd have said something or at least produced a condom to clue him in on her intentions. Considered maybe she was going to strip them both down to their underwear and grind down on his cock with nothing but his boxers and her panties between them.

He'd have no objection to that. None at all. He was kind of hoping he could talk her into riding his fingers or maybe letting him put his mouth on her again. He was almost sure she wasn't going down on him. At least he was almost sure until he felt her lips sucking a kiss on his cock through his boxers. "Oh, fuck." Caught unawares, his hips jerk, forcing Tara back onto her heels.

"I'm sorry." Having completely misinterpreted his response the words flew quickly from her mouth. "I'm sorry. I just thought you'd want…that."

"I do!" Jax reassured her emphatically all but ready to shout "Dear God, I really fucking do!" But he could see her nerves and didn't want to do anything that would have her changing her mind. "I was just surprised."

"But you liked it…right? You liked what I did?"

Jax nodded, almost sure he looked like a drooling half-wit. "Do it again. Please."

Easing closer to him, Tara resumed her previous position. Her eyes flickered up to his briefly, unsure what to make of the way he was staring at her. Licking her lips she slowly placed them over his boxer covered erection. Using the tip of her tongue to wet the fabric before placing another hotter, wetter kiss on him.

"Fuck, Tara." Braced on his elbows, Jax's head dropped back at the pleasurable sensation. "Suck me, Tara. Please."

He was begging. _Begging_ for her. She knew that this wouldn't be the first time someone did this for him. But that he'd want it so much from her he'd beg for it had heat pooling between her thighs. "I will." She grabbed the waistband of his boxers and slowly eased it down over his erection. He was so _hard_. So hard for _her._ "Just…you have to tell me how."

Despite the tension in the air and the heat that caused the small of her back to grow slick with sweat, Tara couldn't help but to laugh at Jax's rushed movements. His hands grabbed at her pillows to shove them roughly behind his head as if he were afraid to give her time to change her mind.

Jax caught her smile and returned it as he reached out to cup her cheek in his hand, his thumb running over her cheekbone before dipping down to her mouth to brush over her lips.

"Will you…" Tara spoke the words softly as she kissed the pad of his thumb. "Tell me how?"

She wanted him to teach her, to teach her how to please _him._ And it caused his mind to simply click off so that for several long moments he couldn't even form words.

"Jax?"

"Yeah. Okay." Jax begin to speak softly, his words coming in fits and starts as he told her how to take him in her hand, how to use her tongue. Told her where and how he liked to be kissed. How to take him in her mouth and use her hand for the places she couldn't quite reach.

It was all he could do to keep from thrusting into her mouth. A few times he actually forgot himself and his hips were lifting up off the bed before he caught himself. But she never stopped, never drew back. Not even when his fingers tangled in her hair and began to pull. "Tara. Tara…" He tried to warn her, tried to hold off because he didn't want her to stop yet. But despite his best efforts he was coming and she was swallowing and he couldn't keep from calling out her name.

Jax fell back on the bed, mouth open and sucking in air as if he'd been denied it for years. When he opened his eyes to gaze down at her she was sitting back on her heels swiping the back of her hand over her mouth, revealing a smile when her hand dropped down to his thigh. He didn't know what it was about that but he thought it was sexiest fucking thing he'd ever seen.

It never occurred to Tara that she'd feel this awkward after. She just wasn't sure what she was suppose to do. Jax was still laying back on the bed, his breathing heavy and looking up at her with sleepy blue eyes. He didn't reach for her or ask that she come lay next to him. She wanted to kiss him but wasn't sure how he'd react to tasting himself on her tongue. She wondered if it would disgust him. And that line of thought lead her to worry that he'd been disgusted by the eager way she kissed him after he'd gone down on her. Fortunately, before those thoughts could have her going and locking herself in her bathroom, Jax grabbed her arm and pulled her down until she was sprawled across his chest.

"This mean you liked your present?"

Before answering her, Jax slanted his mouth over hers unable to bite back a moan when his tongue slid over hers and he could taste himself in her mouth. "I loved my present." The words were spoken against her lips before he trailed his along her jaw and down to her neck. "But, um…"

Tara drew back, worried that she'd done something wrong. "What?"

At the concern in her eyes, Jax quickly flipped them over. Once Tara was laid out beneath him, he dipped his head to run the flat of his tongue over her breast. It had been meant to be a quick gesture to draw her mind away from wherever her thoughts had drifted to. But once he felt her hardened nipple against his tongue he found it wasn't quite so easy to pull away.

Tangling her fingers in his hair, Tara's back arched off the bed, a soft sigh slipped past her lips as Jax shifted until he was laying between her thighs. "Jax."

"I loved my present." Jax repeated as he sucked kisses along her chest until he could take her other breast into his mouth. "But there was one other thing I was kind of hoping you'd give me."

Tara couldn't answer, his mouth was at the under side of her breast biting, sucking, and successfully driving her crazy. She opened her mouth but all that came out was a sound that even she couldn't describe.

Taking that for a yes, Jax wasted no time making his way down her stomach. Biting gently at the soft skin beneath her belly button before working the snap of her jeans open. His movements weren't as smooth as he intended when he jerked them down her hips but one glance up at Tara's face revealed that she didn't particularly care. And just like last time, Jax didn't have the patience to get her pants completely off. This time he just barely got them to her ankles before saying fuck it and lifting her legs until her knees could rest over his shoulders.

"Jax," Tara could barely lift her head to look down at him. Thought she should be embarrassed by the rush of heat she felt at having him so close to her sex. And even more embarrassed by the fact that he could more than likely tell. "You don't have to-"

Whatever she was going to say was lost when Jax simply dipped his head. He knew he didn't have to do this. But he thought it would be easier, and really much more fun, if he showed her just how much he _wanted_ to do it. And at the first taste of her, Jax thought this was hands down the best birthday he'd ever had.

* * *

><p>Gemma was furious. It was well past six and there were people everywhere. The lot had been given way to the kids Jax went to school with while the Sons and a few friends of the club were inside the clubhouse. Opie, Kyle, and the Eglee girl the only kids not outside with the others. Jackson, the birthday boy, the man of the hour, however, was nowhere to be found.<p>

Oh, she had no doubt he was still off somewhere with that damn girl. She could only imagine what the little bitch was doing to keep him away.

"Why don't you page him?" Clay kept his voice low as he slipped his arm around Gemma's shoulders.

"Because I haven't given him the pager yet. I was going to wait until he came back for the party."

Clay lifted his beer to his lips. "There was your first mistake."

"My first mistake was not getting rid of that little bitch sooner."

"Birthday boy still isn't back." Tig shouted as he came from the back of the clubhouse.

"Maybe Tara decided to give him a little birthday pussy." Kyle announced from his place at the bar. He seemed to be the only one unaware of the man sitting next to him or the way that man's shoulders stiffened. "Had a fine piece of ass like that as my girlfriend, I'd sure as shit be fucking her stupid right-"

Eric's stool scraped the floor loudly as he pushed back from the bar. "Say another word about my little girl." The warning was clear, the dangerous glint in Eric's eyes even more so.

Kyle glanced around the bar. He was still considered a hanger on just as Eric was but unlike Eric he knew he'd be asked to prospect soon. All he had to do was prove to one of the patched members he was good enough to sponsor. He didn't think he'd do that if he backed down from a fight with Eric Knowles. "I'm not the one fucking your little girl. And if you don't want guys thinking about her tight little pussy-"

Gemma couldn't say she was surprised that Eric Knowles had knocked the shit out of Kyle. But she was definitely surprised by how quickly the man's fist had come up to fly across the younger man's face. Naturally Kyle was not going to let it stand and Gemma was sure he would have fought back. But Eric was surprisingly strong, meaner, and damn near unstoppable when he was pissed.

"That's my daughter, you little shit." Eric had Kyle pinned backwards against the bar by his neck with one hand, while the other was clinched in a fist to ram into the boy's face.

"Clay stop this before he kills that boy."

Instead of moving, Clay lifted his beer to his lips again. "He was talking about the man's daughter. That kid's got a mouth and he needs to learn to shut it."

"Clay." There was a warning in Gemma's tone but before Clay could heed it, Piney had crossed the room. He wrapped one large arm around Eric's shoulder to roughly pull the man away from the Kyle, who practically crumbled to the floor in a bloody heap.

"Someone pick stupid up off the goddamn floor." Clay's voice was full of disgust as he sneered down at the boy struggling to his feet. But when he looked up at the people packed into the clubhouse, there was a charming grin on his face. "Hey, it wouldn't be a Sons party without one asshole getting the shit knocked out of him, right."

A chorus of cheers and agreements went up and Gemma could only role her eyes. Of course the little bitch would keep Jax away so he wouldn't witness her father's drunken temper.

* * *

><p>Jax knew that by the time he pulled his bike into the lot, his mother was going to be well and truly pissed. She'd more than likely be fighting the urge to take his head off. He was aware, in some abstract way, that he should feel bad about showing up late. That when he sought his mother out and apologized for his inconsiderate behavior he should very much mean it. The problem was that at the moment Jax couldn't feel anything but on top of the world.<p>

He enjoyed the looks everyone gave him. Looks of interest from the girls that turned to burning jealousy when their eyes landed on Tara. And all the guys shooting him envious looks when they took in his girl and his bike. The only thing missing was his patch. But he'd have that one day, too. He just knew that one day he'd pull into this lot, the reaper on his back, the president patch on his chest, and Tara's arms locked around his waist.

"The bike looks real good, Jax." Lowell was the first one to approach as Jax and Tara climbed off the bike.

"Thanks, man." Jax gave the other boy a nod of acknowledgement but his eyes were on Tara, enjoying the way she shook her hair out after she removed the helmet. Ignoring the way she held the helmet out to him, Jax reached out to wrap his arm around her waist so he could pull her close to his chest. She was smiling when his lips came down hard on hers. And she was still smiling when he pulled away.

"Hey, Lowell." Tara just barely managed to turn her attention to Lowell as Jax had his arm locked around her waist, keeping her pressed tight against him. "Having a good time?"

"Yeah," Lowell grinned as he leaned in to whisper conspiratorially with Tara. "I came with Kate Murphy."

"Really? She's…" Different. "Sweet." Not Vickie violent/crazy so definitely a step up.

"Yeah. Hey, your old man's inside."

Jax wasn't sure but he would have sworn in that moment something passed between Lowell and Tara, something he wasn't sure he understood. He thought maybe he wasn't meant to understand it. But whatever it was, was there and gone so fast he figured he just imagined it.

"My mom inside, too?"

Lowell nodded. "I don't think she's blown a gasket, yet."

"Well that's something. I should get in and start kissing ass."

"That might be a good idea." Lowell agreed as he stepped away from them and headed back into the thick of the kids in the lot.

Jax's arm was still around Tara when they walked into the clubhouse and his arm remained around her when the members from the club rushed them with their birthday wishes.

All it took was one look at the ridiculous smile on her son's face for Gemma to know just what had kept him away from his own birthday party.

* * *

><p>It wasn't that she hadn't noticed her father when she came in because she did. He was sitting at the bar, which didn't seem odd to her. It's not like she knew what he did when he came to the clubhouse. But apparently there was a problem. A problem Opie informed her of when Gemma pulled Jax to the side to no doubt ream him a new one.<p>

Tara made her way through the crowd to her father, doing her best not to appear hurried or bothered by what happened. There were several empty bottles of beer sitting on the bar in front of her father, he was lazily drinking from another when she took the stool beside him. The girl behind the bar set another bottle in front of him, absently Tara took it and brought it to her lips, and for a few moments they sat together drinking in companionable silence.

"Who told you what happened?"

"Opie."

"What did he tell you?"

"That you beat the shit out of Kyle." Tara brought the bottle to her lips. "He didn't tell me why."

Eric was quiet.

"Dad," Tara worked hard to keep the exasperation from her voice. "What happened?"

Eric set his near empty bottle back on the bar with careful deliberateness before turning to his daughter. "You are _my_ kid. I'm not going to let some cocky little shit say whatever he wants about you."

It was oddly touching. And she thought she should be bothered by thinking it sweet her father beat the living shit out of someone for insulting her. "Dad,"

"How many fights have you gotten into because of me?"

Tara conceded his point with a tilt of her beer bottle.

"Are you sleeping with the Teller boy?"

Glad she hadn't taken a sip of her beer, Tara turned to her father with wide shocked eyes. "What?"

"You're always together, you show up late here." Eric's hands wrapped around his empty bottle, eyes looking everywhere but at his daughter. "Are you having sex with the Teller kid?"

"Can we not talk about this here."

"I don't see you anywhere else." Eric snapped out before catching himself.

She didn't want to have this conversation, thought to tell him it was none of his damn business what she did or who she did it with. But she didn't want to start a fight. And she didn't want him to sit at the bar for the rest of the night stewing over what she and Jax may or may not be doing. "No," Tara answered quietly. "Not with Jax, not with anyone."

"That's the truth?"

"It's the truth."

Eric nodded, relieved. "Good." He began to tear the label off the bottle. "You know, Opie's not a bad kid."

"Stop."

"The two of you get along."

"Oh my God, Dad, stop." But she was smiling as she said it, placing her hand on his shoulder to steady herself as she hopped off the stool.

Before she could walk away, Eric grabbed her hand to place a kiss on the back of it. Realizing he was teetering towards being 'fun drunk', Tara smiled. Slipping her hand from his, Tara dropped a kiss on the back of his head before ruffling his hair as she walked away.

"Were you just having a beer with your old man?" Jax asked when Tara stopped in front of him.

Tara gave an indifferent jerk of her shoulder. "Yeah."

"So he won't mind if I get you drunk?"

Stepping close to him, Tara slid her arms around his neck. "I think he would mind." At least if his sudden interest in her virginity was anything to go by.

"Heard Tig and Bobby talking, they say your old man beat the shit out of Kyle."

Tara _really_ wished he hadn't heard that but she knew the odds of it remaining secret were slim. "Kyle said some things my dad didn't appreciate." She'd only meant to explain away her father's behavior without Jax asking too many questions. It seemed she succeeded only in upsetting him. His eyes narrowed, jaw clinched.

"He said something about you." Jax's head turned to where Kyle was leaning against the back wall holding a bag of ice to his eye.

"Jax," Tara stopped him before he could take a step towards the other man. "Leave it alone." She thought to tell him it had been handled but something told her that would be the wrong thing to say. "It's your party. And you're suppose to be getting me drunk."

"Yes, I am." Throwing an arm around her shoulder, Jax cast one last look over his shoulder at Kyle before giving Tara a charming grin. "Let's go get started."


	17. Chapter 17

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 17**

Eric had just taken off the cap of his gas tank when he saw Gemma's Intrepid pull in behind him. He realized that there was no hurrying the process along but he really hoped she didn't stop to talk to him. He liked Gemma, he always had. And he knew she meant well with all the advice she gave him regarding Tara. Not only was she a mother, she was the mother of the boy Tara was spending all of her time with. So of course she was concerned. The problem was every time he listened to Gemma it lead to a fight between him and Tara.

Parenting wasn't he strong suit, never had been, so he thought maybe a lot of things that went wrong with Tara probably had more to do with that than Gemma's advice. Still he figured it was better all around to avoid it. Gemma, however, either didn't know or maybe didn't care to interpret his turning his back to her as his desire to not talk to her.

"Hey, Ric."

Eric turned, not bothering to feign surprise at her being there. "Gemma."

He was hung-over. Gemma didn't even need for him to take the sunglasses off to know his eyes would be bloodshot. She knew him long enough to see it in the set of his body, the slack of his face, and the timing of his words. "Beat the shit out of any more kids lately."

"Haven't run across any that disrespected my kid…so no."

The corners of Gemma's lips twitched slightly. Ric could be an asshole but he could be an amusing one. "Your kid is why I want to talk to you."

"Listen Gemma-"

Gemma had realized around the time of Jax's birthday that Ric was growing a little restless of her advice. She knew it was coming. He was spending too many nights at the clubhouse drinking, always getting chewed out by Piney for some fight between him and Tara getting out of hand. It was only a matter of time before Ric grew weary of parenting and tired of fighting with his daughter. "Listen, unless you want a couple little grandbabies running around here, you'll listen to me."

"Grandbabies?"

"Tara and Jax are having sex." If it was possible for someone's entire body to react in surprise, Gemma was sure Ric's just did. Nothing got a man to lock his daughter up faster than the thought of her having sex. "You don't have to talk to her about it but at the very least get her on the pill."

"Tara…she told me…they're not."

Gemma scoffed, looks like Tara just lied to everybody. "You expected her to tell you the truth."

Well, Ric thought as his brow creased in a frown, yeah. "She's never lied to me." She didn't have to, he let her do whatever the fuck she wanted. There was no need for her to lie.

"There a first time for everything. Get her on the pill, Ric. Because I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to be a grandma."

* * *

><p>"You two have the same last period class, right?"<p>

Jax was laying on his bike, head rested against the handle bars and feet propped up against the back. "Yup."

Leaning against his own bike, Opie adjusted his sunglasses as he gazed back towards the school. A lot of kids were loitering on the quad, something he never fully understood. The bell rang and he wanted to haul ass away from the place. Would have done so today had Jax not asked him to hang around. "So how the hell did you get out of there before her?"

"She had to meet with her counselor, something about her classes next year."

Opie's attention was immediately drawn to Jax, the contemplative look becoming one of confusion. "She's picking her classes for next semester? You can do that?"

"Apparently. So what are doing tonight?"

Eyes flicking briefly to the quad, Opie shrugged his shoulders. "Still kind of up in the air. What about you?"

"Tara wants to go to the movies."

"Hey, bro. Do me a favor, give your collar tug."

Jax's brow creased as he turned towards his best friend. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering if it's possible to see Tara tugging on that leash from here."

"Fuck you."

"Such language."

Jax hadn't seen her come out of the school, had only turned his head away for a few seconds. He wondered if she ran from the school, ran to him. The idea of that appealed to him. "Hey, babe. Thought you liked when I talked dirty."

Tara rolled her eyes, but there was a grin on her lips when she lowered her head to kiss him. One hand came down to rest on his chest, automatically moving towards where his heart lay. It embarrassed her, the things she wanted and loved to do with him. The need to feel his heart beat just one of those things.

Releasing one of the handlebars, Jax slid one hand up her thigh to rest on her hip to pull her closer until her chest was practically resting against his. And once he had her where he wanted her, his hand went to her ass.

Neither of them were aware of Opie starting his bike and riding away from the school. Or the looks they were drawing from the kids still hanging around on the quad. Any more than they were aware of Eric pulling his bike to a stop in front of the school and the angry scowl that crossed his face before he pulled off again.

* * *

><p>Jax couldn't say for sure that he was aware that Tara could move as fast as she did when she left the theater. The credits had just barely started to roll when she was out of her seat and through the doors before he even registered her moving. It had been a first for them, going to the movies and actually <em>watching<em> the movie. But she'd been all excited to see it so he behaved himself.

It wasn't as hard as he thought it'd be. He'd been interested in seeing _The Crow _since he saw the first trailer and had counted himself lucky at having a girlfriend who was into that kind of movie. But now as he moved quickly to catch up with her, he didn't know what to think. Tara could be slightly erratic and just a little neurotic, but this was new even for her.

He had to move quickly and got out of the theater just in time to see her duck into the bathroom. And could admit he felt like a bit of an asshole standing outside the women's restroom.

"What's up, Jax."

Lifting his head off the wall, Jax glanced over at Lowell. "Hey, Lowell."

"You waiting on Tara?"

If it were anyone else he'd have made some smartass remark. Tara was the only girl he'd been going around with for months, who the hell else would he be waiting for. But it was Lowell, the kid meant no harm, and giving him shit would have made him feel like the world's biggest asshole. "Yeah, what about you? You here with uh…"

"Kate." Lowell managed to speak the name despite the large grin splitting his face. "We just saw _The Crow_. She cried so she went to the bathroom to wash her face."

Having absolutely no answer to that, Jax simply nodded. He remained quiet, half listening and continuing to nod as Lowell talked about the movie.

"…like the part where he found the ring, that's when Kate started crying. What part got Tara?"

Jax's brow knitted together in a frown as he turned to Lowell. "Got Tara?" Had she been crying? It didn't seem right, Tara wasn't really much of a crier. And he didn't know why she'd run out of theater the way she did even if she was.

"Though Tara probably didn't cry." Lowell decided with a nod. "She's a tough chick, you know."

It wasn't anything he could put his finger on, but Jax would have sworn there was something more to Lowell's words. Maybe it was the look Lowell shared with Tara at his birthday party but he kept seeing things in all their interactions now. There was a voice, that sounded suspiciously like his mother, that told him there was something going on. "She's my girl," He said at length, tone a bit harsher than was maybe necessary. "I know how she is."

Taken back by the tone, more by the tone coming from Jax, Lowell straightened up. Not bothering to say anything else as Kate came out of the bathroom, Tara directly behind her.

"Hey, Lowell." Tara ran an absent hand over the boy's arm as she greeted him, confused when he only mumbled his reply before taking Kate's hand and pulling her away. "Any idea what that was about?" When she stopped in front of Jax, her hands fisted in his T-shirt, tugging him close so she could take a moment to rest her head on his chest.

It never really occurred to Jax to tell her the truth. Didn't even know how to tell her what had been going through his head when he snapped at the other boy. "You know Lowell."

Because she did, Tara nodded.

Pushing away from the wall, Jax kept her close with an arm around her shoulders until they got outside to his bike. "Hey," He caught her face in his hands before she could slip her helmet on, tilted her head back so he could see her better. He'd never seen her cry before, didn't really know what signs to look for. But he knew her face, her eyes, knew when something wasn't quite right there. "Were you crying?"

The amused smile on his face had Tara playfully pushing him away. "Shut up."

"You _were_ crying." He didn't know why he found that so fascinating and couldn't help the need to pull her into his arms. "It's okay, babe, I got you."

This time Tara pushed him with greater force, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips when she decided, "You're an asshole. It was sad, okay." When he reached out to take her wrist, once again pulling her into his arms, she went willingly. Her head resting against his chest while her arms wrapped around him. "He loved her so much. Everything he did, he did because of how much he loved her. He'd have done anything to protect her, but he couldn't, so he came back."

The tone of her voice, even moreso than her words, had all the amusement going out of Jax. His arms had tightened around her as she spoke. His chest constricting so that he thought he knew just how Eric Draven felt about Shelly Winters. His hands were shaking, just a bit, when they came up to frame her face again. Tilting her head back so that he saw the fresh tears in her eyes. "I'd do that for you." His own voice was thick with something he didn't fully understand, but felt in his bones. "I'd never let anyone hurt you. Ever."

There was a part of Tara that thought it best to take his words as those of a teenage boy in the throes of a teenage passion. Thought it best for her heart not to believe the heat in his blue eyes. But she couldn't. She loved him, was so sure of it now it was all she could do to keep the words from spilling out. She loved him and she wanted to believe he loved her as well. That he'd even want to protect her meant the world to her. She couldn't remember her mother's protection. And her father…

It was a bit scary, the words that were tumbling around in his head and his heart for her. Little words with big meanings that he hadn't expected but looking back seemed inevitable since he first kissed her. To keep them from coming out, he pressed his mouth to hers. And as her lips parted under his, as they always did, Jax still felt the press of the words on his tongue as it slid over hers. Only half realizing that maybe, without thought, without intention, he gave them to her anyway.

* * *

><p>It was late by the time Jax pulled his bike into her drive yet every light in the house was on. But it was quiet, Tara could only thank God for that. And could only hope her father drank himself unconscious.<p>

"You're old man is still up, huh?" The disappointment came to him sharply. For some reason it felt vital to him that he stay with her tonight. That he keep her tucked to his side where she belonged.

"Yeah." Tara was disappointed as well but fear kept her from feeling it as keenly. "Why don't we go to Opie's?"

He liked that she wanted to stay with him, that she was thinking of other ways for them to be together. "We can head around, but I don't think anyone's there. Opie had a date or something tonight."

Tara nodded. She could still get in. Had gotten into the house plenty of times without Opie or Piney being there. But with Jax here in her drive, she'd have to go into her house first. Have to risk facing her father. Her heart was racing, more than any other time before she wanted to tell him about her father. Wanted to tell him what it meant for her when all the lights were on. She didn't want him to charge into her house like an avenging angel. Simply wanted him to take her into his arms, take her somewhere else, and protect her like he said he would. Her mouth trembled open, the words ready to escape when a voice came from behind them.

"You going to stay out on the drive all night Tara?"

Her arms tightened around Jax reflexively before she forced herself to let him go and climb off the bike. "I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked as she handed him her helmet.

"Yeah." Jax felt the shift, knew something was up but couldn't quite figure out what. When Tara started to walk away, he grabbed her wrist to pull her back. He didn't care that her old man was standing there, he couldn't let her walk away without giving him a kiss first. "Forgetting something?"

Tara smiled, the fun in his eyes and the cocky smirk on his face enough to have her forgetting about her father for a few seconds. Briefly tangling her fingers with his, she leaned down to brush several kisses over his mouth before backing away.

Jax stayed where he was on the drive until Tara eased passed her father and into the house. He gave a nod to the man still standing in the door and wasn't sure what to make of the glare Eric sent him seconds before he stepped into the house and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"You lied to me."<p>

Tara had just gotten to her door, her hand was on the knob and she thought she was free. Had already envisioned locking herself inside so she could sneak out the window. She'd been quick. She forgot he could be quick, too. Words lodged in her throat as she slowly turned to face the fury in his eyes. "I-I didn't."

"Don't lie to me!"

The hall was too close. She would have sworn his body seemed bigger now. She needed space, needed something between them. But when she tried to move around him, to get back to the front of her house, he grabbed her arms. His hands were strong, stronger than anyone would have given him credit for.

"Where are you going?"

"No where." She tried to jerk out of his hold. When her arm was free she knew it had more to do with him letting her go than anything she did. She also knew there'd be a bruise there come morning.

"Gemma told me what's been going on with you and that boy." He followed her out to the front, his words angry and spiteful as he practically spit them out at her. "That you've been fucking him all this time and lying to me about it. Looked me right in my fucking face and lied!"

"I-" Whatever denial she could have made was lost when he grabbed her by the back of the neck to yank her towards him again.

"Gemma told me." He repeated in a low dangerous voice. "She knows, the whole club probably knows. They're probably drawing straws to see who goes next after the prince is done with you. Is that what you want? To be like the rest of those sluts being passed around by them. Is that what you want?"

He shook her with each word, as if lodging the words into her brain. Tara tried to push away, tried to fight him. But this was different, even for him. She'd never seen him like this.

"It'll be over my dead body, you understand me. I won't have them treating my kid the way they treat the rest of those whores. The way I've seen that cocky little shit treat them." Like used goods to be passed around and tossed away until all the life went out of her eyes. Not his kid.

For reasons she didn't fully understand, this is what snapped for her. What had her mustering up her strength to shove out of his hold. His fingers scrapped along the back of her neck as she stumbled free. She didn't know what she'd say to Jax about the mark she knew would be left behind. "The way you treat them." The words were tossed out at him angrily. The night she saw him all those months ago churning in her stomach until she was left with no choice but to spew it back out at him. "How many of those _whores_ have you taken a turn with? Hypocrite."

Eric paled, shame clouding his eyes momentarily before he resolutely pushed it aside. "And you're a liar." And it hurt. Hurt him to think that she'd lie to him.

"I didn't lie! I don't know what Gemma told you but she's wrong. Why don't you believe me?"

"Because I've seen you with him." Eric's face twisted up in disgust as his mind supplied all the instances he'd come across his daughter and her son of a bitch boyfriend. "The way you're all over him, even in public. I'm not stupid Tara."

"And I'm not a child!" It was one thing for everyone else to see her and Jax together and draw conclusions about what went on between them. But for her father to do the same when she'd told him the truth. When she gave him what she wouldn't even think to give anyone else, it surprised her just how much that hurt. "Jax and I haven't had sex. Not yet. When we do it'll be my decision, not yours. So stay out of it!"

It wasn't that he wasn't use to her yelling at him. They'd been yelling at each other for awhile now. He'd long since stopped taking offense when she shouted angry words at him. It wasn't that she basically told him she didn't give a shit what he wanted. Long before she started yelling at him, Tara started to openly defy him. It was that she turned away from him, started for the door to no doubt go to the boy who had her lying to him. He couldn't have it, he _wouldn't_ have it.

Once again he reached out to grab her. Taking her arm and flinging her back into the house so that she fell into the coffee table, screaming on her way down. "You're not leaving this house." He marched over to her, taking her by the arm to yank her up.

"Let me go." Her fist came up pounding on his chest and shoulders to get him off of her.

"Stop it, you're not going to that boy. I said stop!" Before he was even aware of it, he raised his arm, and the back of his hand was coming down across her face before he could think better of it. It was the sound, the violent sound of the hit, that made him aware of what he'd done. That had him letting her go. He didn't need to see the way Tara dropped back onto the floor, the shock was written there plainly on her face. A face that was flamed red on one side from his own hand.

The silence was deafening, Eric would have sworn he felt it pounding in his ears. If he'd been drinking, and he really fucking wished he had the excuse of being drunk, this would have sobered him right up. Tara's eyes-Claire's eyes-began to water. "Tara-girl…"

Tara shook her head, not wanting to hear a word he said, as she scrambled to her feet. He was still between her and the door, so she shot back to her bedroom. Getting inside and slamming her door closed as fast as she could. But she never stopped moving, didn't stop until her feet hit the floor in Opie's bedroom. It was there she collapsed on his bed, curled into a ball, and cried.

* * *

><p>Jax had been too keyed up to go home. His thoughts were running fast and furious and each one centered on Tara. He loved her, he was almost sure of it. He wanted to tell her, wanted to give her the words and have her say them back to him. But he was twisted up about it. Wanted to be sure of his feelings for her and wanted to be certain she felt the same for him.<p>

He couldn't go to his mother or Clay with this. He didn't think they would understand. He didn't think any of the guys at the club would. So he road around town, road around town until he could no longer take the cyclical pattern of his thoughts. He needed to talk to someone. He needed talk to Opie. Because even though he was sure his best friend had never been in love, he knew Opie would tell him if he were being ridiculous. More he wanted to say the words out loud. Wanted to give them life and make them real even if he wasn't quite ready to give them to Tara.

Decision made, Jax made a wide turn and headed back to Opie's. There was a part of him that considered climbing through Tara's window. He wanted to hold her with these feelings stirring away inside of him. He went down her street, slowed his bike as he neared her house but kept going. He'd talk to Opie before talking to Tara. When he told her he loved her, he wanted to be sure.


	18. Chapter 18

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 18**

Opie's bike was in the drive but Piney's wasn't and Jax was grateful for that. Last thing he needed was Piney giving him shit about his feelings. Or giving him shit about _having_ feelings. And maybe he was a little worried about Piney finding out just how serious he was getting about Tara.

It was a relationship Jax didn't fully understand, but he'd seen Tara and Piney together enough to realize there was some sort of affection between them. He only just recently began to understand how close Piney and Tara's old man was. He found it odd. Granted he knew Piney and JT were best friends, but outside of that Jax didn't really think of Piney as a man who had friends. Piney had brothers. Then again he also didn't see Piney as a particularly affectionate man. But it was obvious there was a kind of sweet affection between the old man and Tara. Just thinking of the soft way Tara smiled at the gruff war veteran brought a grin to Jax's face. Fuck, he had it bad for that girl.

Not bothering with the stairs, instead clearing the porch in one leap he tried the knob only to find it locked. It was odd, there was never any danger of someone walking into the house of a Son. Using the side of his fist, he knocked hard and loud in order to rouse Opie in case he were sleeping. But the speed at which the door opened, Jax figured his friend had been awake.

Opie, stripped down to a pair of boxers and a wife beater, had carelessly swung the door open but once he saw Jax on the other side quickly pulled it close. "Jax? What's up, brother?"

A laugh bubbled in his throat at Opie's obvious attempt at blocking him from the house. "What the fuck, man? You got a chick in there or something…" Because it was Opie, his entire face immediately colored at the suggestion. "Oh, shit you do got a chick in there."

"Not the way you think." Because he watched enough TV to know how this could play, how it could get misinterpreted and out of hand if he didn't say anything, he spoke up quickly. "It's Tara."

Jax's easy manner immediately disappeared. The teasing grin dropping away to a glare. "What?"

"I said it's not-" Whatever he wanted to say was cut off when Jax shoved him aside to march into the house. "Jax-"

"Tara!"

"Jax," Opie reached out to catch Jax's arm. "You need to cool it, okay. Listen to me-"

"Was it her bra? The one I found in your room, was that Tara's?" Jax's fist began to clinch, just barely resisting the urge to use them on his friend. "How long has this been going on? How long have you been fucking my girl?"

"Jax."

Her voice came from behind him even as Opie repeated his name. He hadn't seen it, not initially. There'd been a red haze blinding him, had him focusing on the things his mind had told him he'd see. That all she was wearing was a T-shirt, that she looked guilty. He wanted to turn back to Opie, take in the fact that his friend wasn't wearing much in the way of clothes either, and kill. But then his eyes narrowed on her face, noticed the bruise blooming high on her cheek.

"Tara…what?"

She didn't say anything, wanted to lie but she knew there'd be no getting away with that tonight. The tension in the air became thick, there really was no telling which one of them would snap first. The silence however was broken by the heavy rumble of Piney's bike in the drive.

Piney's entrance into the house wasn't quiet, every step he took up the drive seemed to have sound. The back door opened with a squeak, closed with a loud clap, and Piney punctuated the series of noises with a loud belch. His keys hit the table just before his helmet. When he stepped into the living room his eyes were a bit bleary but immediately became put upon when he noticed the three teenagers in his living room. He was quicker to notice the bruise on Tara's face than Jax had been. The change in his eyes was subtle but without saying a word, he turned and headed back out the house.

"It was her old man." Opie spoke over the sound of Piney's bike starting up. Tara cut him a sharp look and maybe he knew she should have been the one tell Jax. But she was clever, always had been. He didn't want to give her time to come up with some excuse. "He hit her tonight after you dropped her off."

Jax crossed to her quickly, wanted to touch her but for the first time with her he wasn't entirely sure of his hands. "Your old man…he _hit_ you." The concept didn't connect with him. He knew there were men who hit women, didn't grow up in the world he did without that knowledge. But that someone would hit Tara… "I'll fucking kill him."

"Jax, no!" Tara grabbed his arm before he could turn and go out the door. "Just let it go."

"Let it go?" He looked to Opie, who could only jerk his shoulders. "He hit you, Tara."

"I know but it's not-" His eyes turned to flint and she regretted ever opening her mouth.

"It's not the first time he hit you." Jax finished, jaw clenching in anger.

"No. Yes. I mean," Tara didn't know what the hell she meant. All she knew was that Jax was angry and she really didn't want him to be angry.

"He's never hit her." Opie spoke quietly. "Not like that."

Jax recalled all the times she flinched away from his touch, the bruises on her arms she had excuses for, the aches in her back she would laugh off. The secret looks shared between her and Opie. "It doesn't matter that he never hit you. He hurt you, Tara. He _hurt_ you."

"He doesn't…" All the excuses she could come up with died on her lips and she didn't know why. She'd been excusing her father's behavior since her mother died. Had excuses at the ready for Piney and Opie, for Mr. and Mrs. Eglee, for Chief Unser when he came into the store. But looking at Jax, she couldn't think of a single thing to say. She wanted to give him the truth, wanted to start from the day her mother died and tell him everything. But she couldn't, couldn't find the words, couldn't quell the embarrassment. Couldn't stamp down the instinctive need to protect her father. Because somehow she knew Jax would see through every excuse she had. "You don't understand, okay. What you're thinking…it's not that. You don't understand."

Jax didn't know why she wouldn't tell him, why she wouldn't just talk to him. Didn't know why she was so hell bent on protecting a man who didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve her. He told her he'd protect her, had promised. Meant it with every fiber of his being and he didn't understand why she wouldn't let him.

He became angry. His heart twisting and breaking in a way he didn't fully understand. "But Opie does. You couldn't come and give me the truth, but you could tell Opie."

"It's not…it wasn't like that." Tara didn't like what she was seeing in Jax's eyes, didn't like the way he was looking at her. Didn't like the feeling of dread that began to course through her veins. "He lives around the corner…Piney would come…He's always known."

"Always." Jax bit the word off because it didn't make him feel better, didn't calm the anger inside of him. "Have you always been fucking him, too?" She recoiled as if _he_ hit her. And he thought he never felt so low in his entire life.

"I'm not…when my father would get drunk, Piney would come get me and bring me here. It just…it's always been safe…so I just…" She didn't know how to make him understand, because even to her own ears the words felt wrong. Opie had been right. She should have told Jax. Should have told him long before it came to this.

Every word she spoke cut through him. He wanted her to shut up, to stop talking, to stop trying to explain. "Opie made you feel safe." Not him, she never even considered coming to him to feel safe. How many nights, he wondered. How many nights had she left him and gone running to Opie? "So you started fucking him to thank him."

"Jax," Opie said his name softly, more than a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"No. Yes." She was getting confused. Didn't understand why she was having such a hard time getting her words to come out right. Thought maybe it was the panic, the fear that she was losing him. The sick feeling in her gut that he was slipping right through her fingers and it was no one's fault but her own. She knew she loved him. But she hadn't been aware of just how much until this moment. He was everything and she was losing him. "I felt safe _here_. Because of Piney…and yeah because of Opie. But he's like a brother to me. It's never been anything more than that. I swear. Jax-"

"You really expect me to believe that." He wanted to believe it, thought he should have believed it, but he couldn't. Because he didn't understand. He was jealous, an emotion that before now was foreign to him. He was jealous of Opie. And he didn't understand it. Could only justify the emotion by believing Opie had been fucking Tara all this time. "Why would I believe anything you say? You're a liar."

Because the words were exactly the ones her father had thrown out at her, Tara felt as if all the air had been knocked out of her. And it was worse, the hurt so much worse than when her father had yelled them at her. Because she hadn't lied to her father and she hadn't deserved his words. But she lied to Jax. She lied to him and she realized just what that cost her.

* * *

><p>Piney didn't bother to knock. It was all he could do not to kick the door right off it's hinges. The living room was empty, the table that sat in the middle was broken. It wasn't anywhere near the usual catastrophe he came across after one of Tara and Ric's fights. Ric had a wild temper for as long as Piney had known him, but having Claire seemed to bank the worse of it. Tara had seemed to be born with the same wildness that ran through Ric, but there was something of Claire in her too. It wasn't until Claire died that Tara and Ric began to fight. And each year their fights grew more and more out of control. Each year it was like Tara's temper got just as bad as Ric's, maybe worse because it was like she couldn't control it.<p>

Claire had been like that. Ric never saw it, but Piney had. That woman just had something inside her she couldn't control, could never quite get a handle on. In the end it got control of her. Piney had seen that something in Tara as well. Saw it whenever she lost her temper, the way her eyes glazed like she wasn't even aware of what was going on. It took a lot to scare him, after some of the things he'd seen the things he'd done, it took an awful lot to scare him. But that glazed look in Tara's eyes…maybe it didn't scare him, but it sure as fuck gave him pause. Because while that something in Claire was like a wound she couldn't find or heal, in Tara it was darker and it twisted around that temper of hers in a dangerous way.

Piney thought he should have known it would come to this one day. But some part of him didn't believe Ric would ever go so far as to hit the girl. He thought the man capable of a lot, but not that.

Moving through the house he didn't look for Ric, just went straight to the kitchen where the booze was. Like he knew he would be, Ric was sitting at the kitchen table. There were two empty bottles of Jack on the counter and he was wrapped around a third. Piney crossed the room, no hesitation in his movements, his raised hand coming down so hard on the side of Ric's head the other man was knocked clear out of his chair.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't string you up by your balls."

Ric stayed where he was on the floor, eyes cast down. "You saw my kid."

For some reason, this only pissed Piney off even more. Reaching down he hauled Ric up by his collar. "You're goddamn right _your_ kid." He slammed him into the refrigerator. "_Your _kid you raised a hand to."

"I didn't mean-"

One hard shake had the words tumbling back down Ric's throat. Piney didn't want to hear any excuses. The son of a bitch raised his hand to a kid. The girl was no bigger than a fucking minute and the asshole laid hands on her. "Her face sure looked like you meant it."

Ric crumbled, not that he was holding it together so well before, but it was only Piney's hands clutching his shirt that was holding him up. "Aw shit, Piney. Aw shit. Fuck. You should have seen the way she looked at me."

Imagining what Tara had looked like, the shock he knew she felt along with the pain had Piney raising his hand again and coming down even harder across Ric's face. Letting go of his hold, he let the man drop to the floor in a useless heap.

"I didn't know what I was doing." Ric was crying now, face contorted in an ugly mess of snot, tears, and blood. "I didn't mean to hit her, but I did. Oh, fuck, why did I hit her? Why did I hit her so hard?"

"Because you're a son of a bitch." Piney spat the words out, but he didn't leave. Wasn't even sure why he didn't. Simply pulled a chair out from the table and dropped down in it.

"I won't do it again. Can you tell her I'm sorry and I swear never to do it again?"

"Tell her your goddamn self, if she ever decides to come home." But Piney knew she'd eventually come back. There were only a few more instances in the girl, but she was coming back this time. He knew it. Just as he knew however much Ric meant what he just said, it was bullshit. He was going to hit that girl again. Piney realized now it had been leading to this and hated himself for not doing more to stop it. Now it was beyond his control.

Ric was going to hit Tara again. And again. Until Tara was going to respond by either walking out the door forever or killing him. It was just a matter of rather or not Tara would be able to get control of that wild dark something inside of her or let it take over her the way it did her parents.

* * *

><p>Opie wasn't sure when, how, or why Tara and Jax cast him in the role of wizened old sage. It often put him off, made him uncomfortable. He didn't have all the answers, hell he didn't even have half of them, but that never stopped Jax and Tara from darkening his door when something was wrong. It was different with the both of them. Jax was always one for talking, getting shit out, he figured that had something to do with Gemma's raising.<p>

So when Jax stormed out of the house, making it known that he wanted his best friend and his girl to go straight to hell, Opie went after him. He thought Jax just needed to talk, or maybe just listen. But when he reached to stop any forward progress Jax could have made, his best friend turned around and took a swing at him.

It didn't surprise him that Jax was pissed off about not knowing what was going down between Tara and her father. He told Tara as much. He knew the second Jax found out that there were nights Tara didn't bother going home, he was going to go off like a rocket. What Jax felt for Tara was plain to see. He was fucking crazy about the girl. And the more time went on the fucking crazier he got. So it went without saying that Jax would be ready to kill when he found out someone was hurting her.

What Opie hadn't been expecting was for Jax to get pissed off at _him_. He thought Jax would be angry, thought he'd demand to know why Opie didn't tell him the truth despite what Tara wanted. It never occurred to him that Jax would think they were fooling around behind his back. That didn't even make fucking sense.

"I thought you were my fucking friend."

"I am your friend. But I'm her friend, too. This has been going on long before the two of you were together, I tried to get her to tell you."

"Why'd you let me get involved with her then? If you had told me you were fucking her-"

"Would you stop saying that. There's nothing going on between me and Tara and you fucking know it."

"She was in your bedroom." And Jax thought he'd see that every time he closed his eyes. See her walking out of Opie's room in nothing but her T-shirt. The T-shirt _he_ asked her to wear because he loved the way she looked in purple. "She was in your fucking bed."

"She comes over, alright. Whenever shit gets bad with her old man, she crashes here. Normally she sleeps on the couch but tonight…you saw her face. She was in my bed crying when I got here. I wasn't going to fucking boot her out and make her sleep on the couch." Opie made a helpless movement with his arms. He felt boxed in and trapped. He blamed Tara, blamed himself. "I'm with Candy, that was her bra you found. We've been together for awhile. You and Tara have been so twisted up with each other you haven't even noticed. Be pissed at me for not telling you what was going on. Don't come at with this dumb shit here."

Jax's hands clenched into fist. How could he go at Opie with what was really wrong when he didn't understand it himself? He'd never shared with anyone, the things he shared with Tara. He'd fallen face first in love with the girl like some pussy whipped asshole and like a jerk he thought she was feeling the same way. But it was obvious she hadn't. Because if she felt…even an eighth of what he felt for her, she'd have told him what was going on. She'd have come to him instead of Opie.

And it killed him, it fucking killed him to know that she didn't, that she felt she couldn't. "She could have come to me."

Opie nodded. "I told her that."

Jax's eyes narrowed, he was in no mood for Opie's quiet understanding. "You should have told me."

"I know."

Jax waited, waited for Opie to say more. Waited for some explanation as to why his girlfriend went somewhere else for comfort. "That's all you've got to say."

"I don't know what else you want me to say. Talk to her."

"Fuck her." Jax spat the words out loudly, some angry twisted part of him wanted her to hear. Another part, a part that pissed him off, wanted to run back into the house and take her in his arms. "Obviously, she doesn't need me, so fuck her. And fuck you, too."

Opie remained where he was a few moments, lost on what to do to keep Jax from getting on his bike and driving away. This was going to get ugly. He knew Jax. This wasn't going to be like when he thought to get Tara out of his system. This wasn't going to be a string of girls and playing like he was only looking for a good time. What Opie realized now was that Jax had fucked up and fallen in love. What he would do now that she hurt him was anyone's guess. But he had a feeling he'd let his feelings be known to Eric Knowles soon enough. Unfortunately, Opie thought, Jax didn't really know what he'd be getting into there.

With a tired sigh, he turned to go back into the house only to find another friend he didn't know what to do with.

Tara was curled up on the corner of the couch crying. And not the soft, quiet tears he found her in before. But heaving these great, wracking, _sobs_. Her entire body was shaking, her breathing irregular and choppy. Opie couldn't recall a time he'd ever seen her like this. And just like with Jax, he realized Tara had fallen in love as well.

Maybe some part of him had known, had realized what his two friends had been feeling. But this surprised him. This…this was bigger even than what Jax and Tara thought he could handle.

He and Tara didn't normally talk. When she came over, they sat in silence. At most they exchanged words. He'd ask how bad a particular fight with her dad was, she'd tell him, and then they'd go back to watching TV and not talking. There were nights when Opie knew what she wanted more than anything was not to be left alone, he thought tonight she needed a little more than that.

This was different, for him and for them. He didn't know how to offer comfort, didn't know what to say to quiet her tears and stop her from shaking the way she was. He only knew how to sit with her and not talk. But when he sat on the end of the couch opposite her, watching her shoulders shake so much they looked like they'd crack, he felt like the world's biggest asshole.

So slowly, and with more hesitation than he thought the situation called for, he scooted down to the other end of the couch. And with gentle hands, he took her shacking shoulders and pulled her away from the arm her face was buried in and towards himself. He was surprised by just how easily Tara turned into him, wondered if she was even aware that it was his arms she was moving into. She buried her face into his chest and continued to cry, soaking his wife beater through within moments. Opie said nothing as he tried to figure out what to do with his arms.

* * *

><p>Jax pushed his bike as hard as he could and still it seemed to take forever for him to get to Tara's house. He'd kill the fucker. Break every goddamn bone in his hands and make him sorry for ever laying a finger on Tara. Was almost sure he'd never forget the flaming bruise on her face and the fear in her eyes. He didn't know why Tara didn't want his help, didn't know why she felt couldn't come to him. The more he thought about it, the more it hurt, the more he convinced himself it didn't matter.<p>

He promised to protect her and he would. And he'd damn sure do a better job than the one Opie and Piney had been doing. He didn't understand, didn't understand how they could continue to allow her to live in that house. How they could allow Eric Knowles to continue to breath. He wouldn't, by the time he was done, Eric Knowles wouldn't so much as raise an eyebrow to Tara. And then she'd see that he could protect her. That he could be her safe place.

Pulling his bike to a rough stop besides Piney's in the Knowles driveway, Jax sat his helmet down roughly on the handle bars and charged towards the front door. He didn't knock, but shoved the door open with such force it bounced off the wall behind it. By the time his eyes took in the living room, namely the broken table, his anger had doubled. This wasn't a quiet fight, he thought. Thinking about the bruises on her arms and the times she flinched whenever he touched her back, he realized none of their fights had been quiet. If Piney would hear and come to break things up, then the other neighbors had heard as well. How did no one stop this?

Just thinking about it, thinking about Tara falling into the table or Eric throwing her into walls or whatever else, had him lashing out until he grabbed hold of the nearest object and sent it hurtling towards the wall. It was a lamp he'd thrown and the sound of it shattering had Piney marching out of the kitchen.

"Where the fuck is he?"

"You go home, Jax." Piney's voice was firm, level, giving away none of the exhaustion that was settling into his bones.

"Fuck that. He hit her." Jax started toward the direction Piney had come from, only to be stopped short by the larger man. "Get out of my way, Piney."

"You going to make me, boy." Piney gave Jax a shove that have him stumbling back several paces. "Come at me again and I'll put you on your ass."

"Are you taking his side?"

"You're picking a fight you can't win, boy." Piney didn't know why people continued to underestimate just how strong Eric was. No, he wasn't a big guy, never had been. But he could be mean and he was deceptively strong. Whatever fight Jax thought he was in for, Piney knew it wasn't the one he would get. "Now go home. Better yet, go to Tara. You should be there with her not here spewing piss and vinegar all over the place."

He wanted to be with Tara, more than anything that's where he wanted to be. But he thought Tara made it real clear that she didn't need him, at least not for comfort. Maybe he couldn't give her that, but he could give her this. Fix it so her father would never lay another hand on her. "I'm not leaving here until I make that son of a bitch sorry he ever touched her."

"I'm not letting you back there." Piney didn't bother to tell Jax he couldn't make Eric any sorrier than he already was. Anymore than he would tell him they could collectively beat the shit out of Eric. Still it wouldn't stop him from hurting Tara again. "Now leave. I'm not telling you again."

Jax stayed where he was a moment. Piney was a fucking wall, there was no getting around him. And even if he did, whatever beating Eric deserved Piney would cut short. He wouldn't be able to get his hands on Eric tonight. But Piney wouldn't always be around. And Jax refused to be stopped.


	19. Chapter 19

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: There are a few song references in this chapter. The first is A Case of You by Joni Mitchell followed by Slouching Towards Bethlehem and Blue also by Joni Mitchell. Then Tangerine and Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp by Led Zeppelin.**

**Chapter 19**

"I just want to talk to her, Piney."

Piney didn't bother using the door to deny Eric's entrance, had it thrown wide open and instead used his massive frame to fill the entrance. "You think I give a shit what you want."

"She's my kid. I have a right-"

"You lost your rights the minute you decided to knock her around."

At sixteen, Opie was already nearly of height with his father so Eric was able to make him out, just over Piney's shoulder with his arms crossed angrily over his chest.

"Ope," Piney cut his son a look, keeping the boy from saying anything else. "You stay out of this." He turned back to Eric. "When the girl is ready to talk to you, she will. Not before."

Put in his place by his father, Opie turned to go back into his bedroom. Tara was sitting in the middle of his bed, pillow thrown over her crossed legs, tossing the cordless phone between her hands nervously.

"Is he sober?"

Opie lowered himself to the edge of the bed. "Seemed like it." He wouldn't tell her about the black eye her father sported, the fat lip, or the bruise coloring his jaw. She didn't need to know it. Any more than she should feel even a smidgen of sympathy for the bastard.

Tara nodded, she'd asked but she wasn't sure how to feel about the information. He'd been sober when he hit her, too. "Remember the first day of school. I mean the first day we started school."

"No."

The corners of Tara's lips turned up in a semblance of returning his smile. "My mom left early for a staff meeting or something, so it was up to my dad to get me ready and get me there on time. I got up on my own because I was really excited." At Opie's knowing snort, she reached out to slap the back of her hand over his shoulder. "But my dad didn't get me ready, he took me out to the garage with him. He gave me a paint brush and let me paint this glider he built for the Tucks. I remembered I had to be at school before my dad did. It was so late by the time he got me there I thought my mom's head would explode."

Opie laughed, because now he did remember the skinny girl in sloppy pigtails and paint splattered coveralls.

"I considered myself so lucky, you know. Yeah, you and Jax had dads that rode around town on their bikes getting treated like royalty. But my dad was fun. He use to be so much fun."

Her eyes had watered but before the first tear could roll down her cheek, Opie threw his arm around her shoulders to pull her into his chest. Over the last few days he'd gotten really good at comforting her.

"Jax won't take my calls," Tara's voice was muffled against his chest. "I've been calling and calling. At first Gemma would say he wasn't there." But the way she said it, she would have sworn she heard the smirk in the older woman's voice. There was no doubt in Tara's mind Jax's mother was enjoying this. "Now she tells me he doesn't want to talk to me."

Opie sighed, he was use to this as well. The past few days Tara's thought process would run from her dad to Jax and back again. He doubted even she knew who she was crying for half the time.

"You were right, Opie. I should have told him."

There were a dozen platitudes floating around in his head. He could tell her there was no use crying over spilled milk. That things weren't as bad they seemed. And a bunch of other shit that sounded good but wouldn't do a damn bit of good to make her feel better. No more than an _I told you so_ would do. At times he could be blunt but he'd never been cruel, least of all to Tara.

"I'm heading over to the clubhouse." Piney's gruff voice came from the doorway. Much like his son he was lost in the face of Tara's tears. But also like his son, his presence was more than enough to bring her comfort. The Winston men may have been large and gruff and unnervingly quiet. But the daughter of a charming averaged height man with a dangerous temper knew how to look past appearances. "Mr. Winston…" She wanted to thank him for letting her stay. For everything he'd done for her, not just these past several days, but really since her mother died. But Piney only shook his head.

"There's money on the counter, order yourselves something to eat." And with barely a nod he turned and walked out.

Opie wouldn't let her thank him either. Not for letting her soak his T-shirts with buckets of tears, not for sneaking into her bedroom to grab her CD collection, or for giving up his bed. Any more than he'd allow her to apologize for ruining his relationship with his best friend. What was worse, he hardly left her side in the last several days. Only times he'd leave is when Candy came over and when he left, it wasn't for long and Tara was sure he'd gone to see Jax. The way he came home, dejected and tired let her know Jax wasn't talking to him either.

She wanted-no-_needed_ to see Jax. Convinced herself that if she saw him she could make him understand and forgive her every stupid mistake. She missed him. Missed him with this painful ache in her chest that made it hard to breathe. It seemed it was all she was capable of doing besides cry. And miss her dad. Because despite everything she missed her dad too. But not in any real sense of the word, not in the way consuming tangible way she missed Jax.

As fucked up as it was, she missed what she and her dad had been before that night. In comparison the screaming matches, the broken furniture, the bruises on her arms and back were welcomed. She'd go home, eventually she'd have to go home. And maybe she'd laugh with her dad again. Maybe he'd smile and she'd remember just how much she loved him. But it wouldn't be the same. And it was real fucked up that their previous relationship was preferable to the one she knew they would have now.

"You should probably eat something." Opie began for lack of anything better to say. "Shower too. You're getting kind of ripe." When Tara lifted his pillow to clock him in the face with it, he didn't bother to try and get out of the way. She was smiling and it kind of reached her eyes so he thought it was worth it. "I'm going to order a pizza." The doorbell sounded as he pushed off the bed. "That's probably Candy. Want me to send her back?"

Tara shook her head. "You two hang out." She wasn't in much mood for company. And she hated intruding on their time together, not to mention the guilt she felt at not being aware of her two closest friends dating. "I'll stay back here."

Leaving the room, Opie had barely closed the door at his back before the music started up-the guitar prominent and basic, the voice that came in after the first few cords high, sweet, yet somehow sad.

_Just before our love got lost you said _

_I am as constant as a northern star _

_And I said, constant in the darkness _

_Where's that at?_

"Back to Joni Mitchell?" Were the words Candy spoke as soon as the door was opened.

"Yeah," Opie stepped out of the way to let her in. Every night for the past few days, whenever Piney left, Tara would fill the house with music. He knew music was her thing, that she had a vast, eclectic collection. But the past few days she'd been listening to the saddest shit he'd ever heard. "At least it's not _Slouching Towards Bethlehem _again. After several hours of that I wanted to slit my fucking wrists."

"We have to do something, Ope."

Following her to the couch, Opie sat close so that he could toss an arm around her shoulders. "What? Jax isn't talking to me and Tara hasn't left that room in days. It's going to take a bit more than sending Tara some flowers saying their from Jax or sending him a pair of her panties to get them to agree to talk."

"Panties? I don't think that's how it worked on _California Dreams_."

Opie sighed as he dropped his head to the back of the couch. "It's the only way it'll work with Jax."

"What about Lindsey's party? Jax would have had enough time to cool off, I'm sure Tara will have her thoughts together by then. They can talk."

There was something about Candy's eagerness to help, to get their friends back together, that he found sweet. But he thought the current chasm between Jax and Tara would take more than a chance meeting to bridge. They loved each other. He was sure of it before, but he was beginning to grasp just how much now. His father had gone around muttering about over-dramatic teenagers and messy hormones. But Opie thought it was more than that.

"Ope." Candy turned pleading eyes up to his. "We have to try."

"Alright. But you're going to have to get Jax there. He's still not talking to me." Or anyone else last Opie knew.

* * *

><p>Before deciding to play the song back, Tara crawled across Opie's bed to grab the headphones that he brought from her house. They were practically new as she hardly used them at home but she was glad he thought to grab them as she was sure Piney would have a thing or two to say about the music she played not to mention the volume she chose to play it at. Opie never complained and she never thought over much about it bothering him. But she was beginning to realize her shitty mood was no excuse to bring down Opie and Candy's time together.<p>

The headphones had been a gift from her father, not an extremely magnanimous one as he was simply sick of her blasting her music, which was why she hardly ever wore them. When she was feeling kindly toward him she could appreciate him buying a set with a cord that could reach from the stereo on her dresser to her bed. Though with Opie's stereo propped on the table besides his bed the length wasn't necessary.

With the headphones placed firmly over her ears, Tara was poised to play the song back when the first strands of _Blue_ began to play. Almost immediately her thoughts drifted to Jax, to his eyes, and the way she felt just thinking about him. She missed him so much. Thought she'd give up being his girl if she could just go back to being his friend. Because she needed him now. Was starting to feel like she needed him always. The tears were unexpected but not a complete surprise as she now felt as though she'd been crying for days.

The adolescent, over-dramatic, hormonal nature of her thoughts was not at all lost on Tara. There was a time she would have considered herself above such things. Above being a teenage girl. But she couldn't help the feeling that her life was truly over. And it was ridiculous, she was aware of just how ridiculous that was. Convinced herself that she just needed someone to talk to and talking to Jax had become so easy over the last few months. Going with the idea that she just wanted his friendship back. But whenever she imagined what it would be like just to talk to him, she always imagined herself crawling into his lap and laying her head on his chest. Worse, whenever she thought of him with another girl it made her want to use her fists on something. She couldn't ever go back to being just his friend again.

Every night, since the night he slammed out of the Winston house, she'd hype herself up. If he didn't take her calls tomorrow, she'd think as she lay awake in Opie's bed, she'd go to his house. She wouldn't care what Gemma said, would just push her way inside and into his bedroom and make him listen to what she had to say. Every morning she'd wake up too afraid and upset to go any further than Opie's bathroom to shower.

What if he no longer cared to hear her excuses? What if he really did believe she'd been fooling around with Opie all this time? What if he just didn't want the baggage of a girlfriend with a drunk for a father? What if he was glad to be done with her?

All these thought would swim through her head until they weigh heavy on her heart. Tara knew she had to get herself and her thoughts together. She'd have to fix this mess she created with Jax, because she knew it was indeed her mess. And in order to do that she knew she couldn't be the confused, mumbling mess she had been that night. The only problem was that Tara didn't quite know how to pull herself out of the funk she was currently wallowing in.

* * *

><p><em>Measuring a summer's day<em>

_I only find it slips away to grey_

_The hours, they bring me pain_

There were any number of girls he could have been fucking, Jax thought as he lay in the relative darkness of his room. There was a joint burning slowly between his fingers, he watched listlessly as the smoke swirled above his head to dance in the measly beams of sunlight he allowed through his bedroom window. Unlike Tara he hadn't shut himself inside his bedroom, though he came pretty close. His mother's wedding was getting closer and she sent him on a shit ton of errands. He didn't mind those much, when his mind was on his mother and all the stupid shit she was having him do he didn't think about Tara as much.

His mother was at the garage now though and Jax decided to spend his time doing as he'd been doing in the free time she allowed him-thinking about Tara. He wondered what she was doing, if she was thinking about him. He wondered if she was still crying on Opie's shoulder, if that backstabbing son of a bitch knew how soft the skin on the small of her back was.

He could have a girl with him now if he wanted. Could have been at the clubhouse getting his dick sucked or charming some croweater out of her panties. He hoped Tara knew that. Hoped she was fretting over what and who he was doing.

More he hoped she was missing him, if she realized just how badly she fucked up. He'd been with his share of girls. He'd always been aware of how attractive he was, how the club boosted his appeal, the tutelage of the croweaters adding to his confidence. He knew how to use his grin and the words to say to get a girl eager to be with him. Jax never felt bad about the way he went through the girls at school because none of them ever seemed hurt when he lost interest. Any more than he felt bad about the croweaters he used because he was aware that they'd been using him as well. So he was sure he'd never left a girl feeling the way Tara was making him feel. He wished he'd never followed her out to the woods during Opie's New Year's Eve party.

He hoped she was still at Piney's, that she had no plans to go home to be anywhere near that fucker who put his hands on her. Every errand he ran for his mother, he looked for Ric. That pussy had laid hands on Tara and Jax would make him suffer for it. But Ric Knowles was about as MIA as his daughter. He could and would wait him out, though. All he needed was one shot. Jax didn't care what Tara said. He didn't need Piney telling him to stay out of it. However angry he currently was at Tara, however much he convinced himself that he was done with her, he still felt it was his job to protect her. He wanted to make sure she was never hurt again.

Tara had said he didn't understand. Like that was his fault. He'd have tried, if she just fucking trusted him, he'd have tried to understand. He'd sure as shit have done a better job of making sure her father never raised a hand to her than Opie had. It pissed him off to think of all the times they dropped him off first. All the neat little excuses she came up with so that she could go home with Opie while he was none the wiser.

He'd have given her whatever she needed from him. Didn't he wait for her? Not pressuring her about sex because he knew that's what she needed. Spent nights bowling and going to the movies and mini golf because she needed them to have real relationship. Whatever she asked he gave. Why couldn't she just give him this? Her.

When the doorbell sounded, he considered ignoring it. The phone hadn't stopped ringing, he knew it was Tara. And it was already harder than it should have been for him to keep from picking up. If she was at the door, he wasn't sure what he would do. He was pissed, he had a right to be pissed. But he wasn't sure just how strongly his anger would hold up if he saw her. Mostly when Tara called, his mother was around to act as a buffer. There were times Jax felt his mother's tone was a little harsh when she spoke to Tara, but he never said anything.

Now he didn't have a buffer and he was hoping Tara wasn't too upset by his mother. That fucking chick, Jax thought as he pushed off the bed, twisting up his head when he thought he was done with her. As he marched towards the door, he thought maybe it was to yell at her. Imagined taking her in his arms and kissing her. When he swung the door open it was with the force of his confusion. Seeing Candy on the other side had everything rushing out of him.

"Please," Candy began as she pushed pass Jax into the house. "Don't spare my feelings. Look more disappointed to see me."

"Before you start feeling too special, I'd look like this no matter who was at the door."

"Sweet talker. No wonder Tara's crying her eyes out over you."

Closing the door behind her, Jax found that he was glad to have his back turned. Her words cut straight through him, and as much as he prided himself on a cool exterior, he couldn't be sure that his face didn't reflect exactly what he'd been feeling at the moment. "So what's up, Candy?"

"Just wanted to see what was up with you?" She knew asking how he was doing would not go over well with a guy like Jax. But she wondered just how long it would take him to ask after Tara. And Opie, since she knew it had been a few days since they'd seen each other.

Jax gave an indifferent jerk of his shoulders. Dropping onto the couch, he stretched his arms out across the back. He was doing all he could to give off an air of nonchalance. "My mom and Clay's deal is coming up. Just getting shit done for that. Far as I know, there ain't been shit going on."

Which wasn't true, but Candy doubted Jax and Tara were even a little aware of what was going on outside of the bedrooms they essentially locked themselves in. Granted Tara was a bit more shut in than Jax. Still, whenever Candy went out she was asked where Jax and Tara were as no one expected them to essentially disappear once school ended. "Lindsey's having a party."

"Yeah," He didn't care. "Maybe I'll check it out."

"I'm going to try to get Tara to go. Girl needs to get out, get some sun."

There was a part of Jax, a part he was too hurt to be ashamed of, that liked the thought of Tara sitting in her room miserable because he was gone. But any satisfaction he could gain from that was dimmed considerably by the thought of her being in the house with her father. He didn't want her there. And as much as he hated to admit it, despite what he was currently feeling, he didn't like the thought of her being sad either. "Should definitely get her out of that room." And if he just happened to be at the party, well whatever happened, happened. "So you and Ope, huh?"

"You and Tara suck as friends, that you didn't even notice."

Something in Jax relaxed. It had bothered him. Despite Opie telling him he was being ridiculous, despite knowing his best friend better than that, there was some part of Jax that still worried there may have been something going on between Tara and Opie. His mind unable to stop conjuring up images of the two of them alone in that house at night, of Tara walking around in just her little T-shirts, of just where things could lead whenever she cried on Opie's shoulder. He hated it, hated every fucking minute of it, and himself for being so stupidly weak. But he hadn't been able to stop.

Candy confirming that she and Opie were together shouldn't have made him feel better. He shouldn't have needed that confirmation to believe his best friend wouldn't hurt him the way he was imagining. But he did. He blamed Tara for that as well. "I was kind of distracted."

"That's the same thing Tara said."

Candy didn't stay too long after that and as Jax closed the door at her back, he wasn't sure what to make of the fact that _Bron-Yr-Aur Stomp _was pouring out of his bedroom.


	20. Chapter 20

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: First off I just want to thank everyone for reading, alerting, and reviewing this story. And to ask that you just stick with me a little longer and not to hate me too much at the end of this chapter. There's a bit of a call back to my fic This Life That I've Had, if you've read that one you may know it when you read it. I promise there is a method to the madness.**

**Chapter 20**

He'd been in a good mood. Probably the best mood he'd been in since he sped away from Opie's house nearly two weeks ago. His mother was having some party at the house and had sent him out to pick up the rest of the things she needed. A task Jax gladly accepted as being at the house with a bunch of women clucking about the wedding was the last place he wanted to be.

Really it had nothing to do with most of the stores his mother sent him to being on Main and that eventually he'd have to pass Eglee's. It's been two weeks since he last saw Tara and he was missing everything about her. Maybe he was biding his time until Lindsey's party to talk to her, maybe he liked the thought of making her sweat just a little while longer, that didn't mean he wasn't eager to see her.

Jax parked his bike behind Sugary Sweets Bakery, his mother had ordered cookies to be delivered to the house and she sent him to pay for them. Like all businesses on Main there were two entrances, the ones off the main road and the ones around back leading off the parking lot. But most stores used the rear entrances for employees, only a few kept the rear doors open for the public. And it was using the rear door of the bakery that had Jax catching Opie as he exited out of the front.

There was something like panic fluttering in his stomach. It wasn't a feeling he truly understood and there was a voice in the back of his head that told him to ignore it. And he tried. He went to the counter, gave his best smile as he tried to talk Mrs. Logan out of a free cookie. When he stepped out of the store, this time using the front entrance, he told himself not to look towards Eglee's. Told himself that whatever Opie was doing it had nothing to do with Tara and he needed to get those thoughts out of his head.

Opie was with Candy, she told him so herself. That's why he'd been in such a good mood, because he knew when he talked to Tara his jealousy wouldn't have him shouting things he didn't mean at her. Nothing was going on there.

But it was Tara, who he hadn't seen in days, and his head was turning in the direction he knew she'd be without his permission. Opie was leaning against his bike, long legs stretched out in front of him as he waited in front of Eglee's. Waiting for Candy, Jax told himself. It was her parents store, she was Opie's girlfriend, that's why he was sitting out front with a small bakery box.

It wasn't Candy who walked out of the store, it was Tara. And if Jax didn't know better he would have sworn his heart lurched at the sight of her. Even from this distance he could make out the fading bruise on her face, his fist clenched and his gut churned at the sight of it. He couldn't wait to get his hands on Eric Knowles, pay the son of a bitch back for every time he hurt her.

It was all he could do not to go to her now. She had her hair combed to one side in a ponytail that draped over her left shoulder. Jax bit his lip, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between them so he could brush his lips along the curve of her jaw. When she stepped out of the store she looked sad, and maybe a part of him, a part he wasn't proud of, that liked that she looked sad. That liked the thought of her missing him as much as he was missing her.

Opie said something to her. Tara nodded as she jerked her thumb back towards the store, Jax thought maybe she was telling him where Candy was, but Opie shook his head. The slow smile that tugged at the corners of Tara's lips pissed him off. That was his smile, damn it. Feeling completely helpless he watched as Opie held up the small white box, pulling open the top to allow Tara to see what was in side. Now she smiled wide, so wide and pretty it hit him like a blow to the chest.

Why was it always Opie making her feel better? He could make her smile like that, he made her smile like that. All she had to do was give him a chance. He wouldn't have even let it get as far as Opie did. Would have never allowed her to be hurt that way. So why wouldn't she trust him? What the fuck was it about Opie that brought that smile to her lips when she was sad?

Tara reached for the box, but Opie pulled it back. She seemed reluctant but eventually she climbed onto the back of Opie's bike. Jax wanted to put his fist through something-a wall, Opie's face, something. She had no business on Opie's bike. Seeing her there, where she clearly didn't belong…Jax knew what it was to be angry, but he could never recall feeling like this before.

* * *

><p>Tara didn't bother to put on a happy face as she walked into the party. She never liked Lindsey, even if the last two weeks of her life hadn't been complete shit, spending a night at a party with Lindsey wouldn't have been high on her priority list. But Opie, for reasons she didn't fully understand, insisted she come out to this party tonight. She tried to back out, thought Opie would want to go out with Candy without her tagging along. Even considered lying and telling him she'd meet him at the party just to get him to leave her alone. But when he showed up outside of Eglee's with a bashful smile and one of her favorite cupcakes, she practically folded like a lawn chair.<p>

Now here she was at a party she didn't want to attend, at a home of a girl she didn't like, and likely soon to be bombarded with questions she'd been avoiding. The plan was to make a quick round, prove to Opie that she was capable of getting out and had no plans to rot away in his bedroom, before making a hasty retreat back to his bedroom. Thought she'd stay maybe an hour, less if Candy and Opie got wrapped up in each other and forgot all about her.

It was past time she decided what it was she wanted to do. Neither Piney or Opie said anything about her over staying her welcome, but Tara knew she couldn't take over Opie's room permanently. Eventually she'd have to go home. Eventually she was going to have to learn to live with her father again. She tried not to think about how much easier that prospect would be to consider if she had Jax to talk to. She tried not to think about Jax, but it was a pointless endeavor.

"You want a drink?"

Turning her head slightly, Tara gave Opie a nod. If she was unable to duck out early she'd need to be three sheets to the wind to endure the rest of the night.

"Come on," Opie placed his hand on the small of Tara's back to lead her into the kitchen.

Not bothering to put up much of a fight Tara allowed Opie to lead her, only to pull up short when they reached the kitchen. Jax was there, looking so sullen and beautiful it near stopped her heart. Everything inside Tara clenched, almost as if in preparation to run at him. And she wanted to, wanted so much to run across the room and bury her face in his chest, to feel his arms come around her. Had nearly started towards him when his eyes came up and met hers. There was a storm brewing in the blue depths of his eyes that chilled her to the bone.

* * *

><p>"Let's play a game." The announcement was made by Stacey and punctuated by the clink of the two tequila bottles she set on the coffee table in the middle of the living room.<p>

Tara took that as her cue to leave. As far as she was concerned the whole night was a bust. She drank to work up the courage to talk to Jax and drank every time she chickened out. The only victory she could take from the night was that Jax ignored every girl at the party in favor of glaring angrily at her. Which, in the end, may not have been much in the way of a victory.

"Tara," Candy, knowing that her friend was only seconds away from bolting, grabbed the other girl's wrist and pulled her down to the floor with her. She didn't know what was eating Jax's ass, it was hard to miss him skulking around the party, but the moment Tara was seated he dropped immediately down on the couch. She wanted to take that as a good sign, but something told her this was all going to shit. "So, what are we playing?"

"Truth or Dare."

Tara rolled her eyes, not bothering to wait for anyone before grabbing the Tequila bottle and pouring a generous amount into her own cup. The game started and she tuned out. Whenever her name was called, she chose truth and happily took a shot as opposed to answering whatever question had been sent her way. A dare was sent to Stacey to kiss Jax. Causing everyone in the room to cast weary eyes at Tara.

"Stop,"

It was Candy's hand on her wrist that kept Tara seated when she wanted more than anything to leap across the table and scratch the blonde's eyes out. In that moment she hated Jax as well for placing his hands on the girls hips and accepting the kiss.

"Hair pulling is not attractive." Candy leaned over to murmur softly in Tara's ear.

"I was looking more to break the bitch's nose." Tara mumbled as she lifted her cup to her lips.

Candy chuckled. "Don't do that either."

"Opie," It was Jax who spoke this time and Tara's eyes flew to him. Behind her Opie, who had opted out of playing, tensed. "Truth or Dare?"

Opie shoved a hand in his pocket, averting his gaze from the glare his best friend sent him. "I'm not playing, bro."

"Truth." Jax continued as if Opie hadn't spoken. "How long have you had a hard-on for my girl?"

"Jax." Opie and Tara spoke at the same time, which seemed to do nothing more than piss Jax off.

"Did you fuck her, yet?"

Candy dropped her face into her hands as Tara jumped to her feet. The night had definitely gone to hell.

She'd taken his accusations that first night, understood his hurt and was willing to overlook it. But tonight she was drunk and pissed and refused to take his accusations any longer.

"Stop it, Jax." Tara bit the words off. "Opie is my friend."

"Your friend?" Jax's tone was skeptical, his gaze glacial. "You're in his bed every night." Crying on his shoulder, letting him hold and comfort her. "If you're not fucking him, might as well start."

The words cut right through Tara, because she heard his underlying meaning: He was done with her. If his words weren't clear enough, he threw an arm around Stacey's shoulders to drive the point home. Feeling the tears beginning to cloud her vision, Tara thought it would be so nice to leap across the table to go at both their throats. But the tears were so close and she refused to allow them to fall for everyone to see. "Fuck you, Jax."

Jax watched her go and it was all he could do to remain in his seat. His glare went back to Opie. "Why don't you go after her? You know you want to." He tossed the dare out and felt like a complete asshole when Opie pushed off the wall and started in the direction Tara had gone. "Fuck!"

Candy and several others around the table had to move quickly when Jax put his foot to the coffee table and sent it careening.

* * *

><p>"Tara. Tara!" When she didn't stop, and Opie knew she heard him, he had to jog to catch up with her. A move he found surprising, he wasn't aware she was so fast. "Hey, wait." It didn't take him long to catch her, yeah she was fast but he had a much longer stride.<p>

It didn't surprise Tara that he caught her, didn't even surprise her that Opie was the one to come after her. "Why does he have to be like this?" She demanded.

"He just needs time," Opie began softly. "And maybe he needs you to explain-"

"How can I explain anything when he's acting like that?" Tara demanded. "Besides, what would be the point of explaining. Obviously he's moved on and thinks I should do the same."

"Tara-" But whatever Opie was going to say was cut off when Tara threw herself at him. His arms went around her purely on instinct. At first he tried to hold her off, then he tried to keep her from falling, but then she was pressing her lips to his and his hold on her was no longer preventative.

He knew he should stop her, that he should take her by the shoulders and push her away. She was drunk and hurting. More she was his best friend's girl-no matter how big of a dick Jax was currently being. For so long she was like a sister to him. Kissing her was so wrong on so many levels. But fuck she knew how to kiss. It never even occurred to him that she would be so good at it. No wonder Jax lost his fucking mind over her.

At no point did this seem right to her. The word wrong flashed in her mind the second she decided to fling herself at him. It felt wrong. Kissing Opie who had been like brother to her, kissing someone who wasn't Jax, kissing the best friend of the boy she loves. It was all wrong. On every level it was wrong. But if she had ever before allowed herself to think about how Opie kissed, she'd have imagined it to be just as it was now.

The wrongness of what they were doing hit them both at the same time. When they pulled apart it was as if a fire had been lit between them so that they stood on opposite sides of the sidewalk, enough space between them for an elephant to move through. Tara felt awash with dread and regret. The last smart decision she made seemed to be ages ago. She couldn't look at Opie, couldn't face what she'd done.

"I have to go." The words came out thin and rushed.

"Tara-"

"Home," She interrupted quickly. "I'm going home. I think…I should…"

"You shouldn't have to go back there, Tara." But Opie wasn't sure he should be around her for awhile. Wasn't sure what to do with the fact that he liked kissing her even though he knew he had no business kissing her. "It's okay." The reassurance couldn't get more half-ass if he tried.

"Still…" Her hands started to flutter so she quickly shoved them into the back pockets of her jeans. "See you around, Ope." And when she walked away, she moved as fast as her legs could carry her.

* * *

><p>Jax left the party. Once Opie left to go after Tara everything felt close and cloying and suffocating. Stacey tried to follow but he blew her off, not even bothering to be nice about it. He waited out front, leaning against his bike trying to appear as if he wasn't on the look out for Tara and Opie. And when he saw Opie come back without Tara he flicked his cigarette at this best friend's feet.<p>

Opie pulled up short, tossed an annoyed look over at his friend. "Got something to say to me, man."

Jax gave an indifferent jerk of his shoulder. "Just didn't expect you back so soon."

Having enough of Jax's attitude, especially coming off the scene with Tara, Opie decided he was done playing around. "Maybe I'm going to ditch Candy so I can hook up with Tara later. Maybe I told her to go back home and wait for me in bed."

Jax pushed off his bike, fist clenched as he shoved his way into Opie's face. "You fucking touch her-"

"You'll what," Opie interrupted. "Did you forget you gave me permission? Said if I wasn't fucking her I might as well start."

Jax wasn't able to hide the flinch, hide the pain the thought of Tara with someone else caused.

"You don't like her with someone else, you don't want to lose her, pull your head out of your ass and stop giving her away. Because the next guy you tell to go for her won't be your best friend."

* * *

><p>It was the music-Beastie Boys naturally- that clued Jax in on the fact that Tara was home. He didn't like that. As much as he disliked the idea of her being at Opie's, sleeping in some other guy's bed, he absolutely hated the thought of her back in the house with her father.<p>

Opie's words had managed to crawl into his head and gave Jax a lot to think about. He did want Tara back. Despite how hurt he was by her keeping the truth from him, despite the way his gut churned whenever he thought about her going to Opie for comfort, he wanted her back. He missed talking to her, missed kissing her, missed the way she smiled at him. And he was willing to pull his head out of his ass long enough to hear her out. He needed to know why she didn't trust him. Maybe he needed to for his own peace of mind. If he knew he could try to fix it, to earn the trust she so freely gave to Opie.

Parking his bike on the street Jax didn't give himself time to think. Placing his helmet on the handlebars he moved quickly to the front door. He thought about going around side or even climbing through her bathroom window. It wasn't until he found himself banging on the door that he realized he might have been better off sneaking directly into her room.

Jax didn't know how long he stood on the porch banging on the door before Ric Knowles yanked it open. Whatever resolve Jax had at seeing Tara turned quickly to anger at the sight of the man that put his hands on her.

"What the hell do you want?" Ric had been happy to have his girl back, even if she wasn't talking to him. She hadn't acknowledged him at all. If it wasn't for the music coming from her room he wouldn't even know she was home. When he knocked on her door, she hadn't answered. Actually she turned the radio up louder the second he started talking.

Pulling himself up to his full height, Jax allowed all the contempt he felt for the man in front of him to show on his face. "I'm here to see Tara."

"Why? According to Gemma, you and Tara are done." It had seemed Gemma was all too eager to talk about the end of Jax and Tara's relationship. Ric would have been pleased by that development as well were it not for the guilt that had been eating away at him. He couldn't concern himself with Tara's relationship with Jax when his own relationship with her was in such turmoil. But she was home now, which was a win as far as he was concerned, and he could be happy about the fact that she and Jax were no longer together.

"None of your damn business why. Now get out of my way so-" Jax started to push by Ric only to find himself shoved back several steps.

"My kid, my business."

Jax's anger went straight to flashpoint. "You lost all rights to claim her the second you started knocking her around." It was one thing to have Tara running to Opie whenever she was hurt, bad enough that she sought comfort with someone else. But he'd be damned if he allowed the man who hurt her, who put bruises on her, to stand between them.

"You cocky little shit, you've got no idea what goes on in my house. Lost rights to my kid? My rights are standing from the day she was born until the day they put one of us in the ground."

"No," Jax shook his head. He couldn't stand the thought of this…coward having any claim to Tara. He didn't give a shit if Eric was her father, he hurt her. And no matter the strain that had been between himself and Tara the last two weeks, he would still protect her. Even if the person he was protecting her against was her own father. "As far as Tara's concerned, you are done. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can go see her."

Jax started forward only to once again find himself shoved several steps back. Bringing his arms up he shoved at Ric's chest and wasn't quite sure what to do with the fact that the man didn't go near as far as Jax intended.

"Boy, you've got ten seconds to get off of my porch. And stay the hell away from my daughter."

Something inside Jax snapped. He saw the bruise on Tara's face, remembered all the times she flinched away from him, and wanted to hurt Ric Knowles. Wanted to cause him pain the way he caused Tara pain. His fingers curled into a tight fist and Jax brought his arm up, fully intending to make Ric Knowles bleed. But his arm was caught before he could connect the first blow. And that same arm was twisted behind his back and used to shove him face first against the house.

Ric grabbed a fist full of Jax's hair, wanting desperately to slam the boy's face against the house. Over the last two weeks he convinced himself that all the current problems he was having with his daughter were all because of Jackson Teller. Convinced himself that if it wasn't for the boy, he and Tara would have never had that argument, and he'd have never raised a hand to her. When he was drunk he believed it was true, no need to convince himself. "You're lucky I have no desire to have all of SAMCRO breaking down my door. Come back to my house, try to see my daughter again, and maybe I won't give a shit if they do."

When he was practically flung off the porch and onto the front lawn, Jax wasn't quite sure what to do with the anger, embarrassment, and hurt that was coursing through him. For all his talk, he hadn't been able to do anything against the man who hurt her. Something twisted in his chest. No wonder she preferred Opie to him. That night she said Opie use to come to the house with Piney when fights with her dad got real bad. Jax wondered if Opie had ever been tossed around so easily by Ric Knowles.

He thought he could protect her, that he could take care of her. In the end he hadn't even been able to get to her. Going through her window now wasn't even an option. Not when he was reeling from his current humiliation. He embarrassed himself. And he couldn't go to Tara, convince her that he could take care of her, protect her, when he'd been tossed around as easily as she had. Ashamed and embarrassed, Jax pushed himself off the lawn and moved towards his bike.

Maybe she was better off with Piney and Opie. Maybe they were better at keeping her safe than he could ever be.


	21. Chapter 21

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 21**

"How long has he been hauled up in there?"

Gemma lit a cigarette to ease the nerves frazzled by her upcoming wedding and her son. Two nights ago Jax had come home, more withdrawn and upset than he'd been the last two weeks, and nothing she said to him could pull him out of his bedroom. "It's that damn girl."

"He's done with her." Clay pulled a beer from the refrigerator before leaning back against the counter. "Which is what you wanted. Remember?"

"I wanted him done with her. I didn't want him like this." Heartbroken, her mind provided. Her baby was heartbroken. "I should have stepped in sooner, stopped it before it got this far."

"He's mourning lost pussy. He put a lot of time into that chick and got nothing out of it. As soon as he comes to terms with that, he'll find a new tail to chase and the Knowles girl will be forgotten."

If only, Gemma thought. She missed it. She'd been so busy trying to push Tara away, trying to slow things down, that she missed the fact that her boy had fallen in love. She knew he'd get over it. First love died hard, she knew better than anyone just how hard. But Jax was a healthy, attractive teenage boy. There'd be other girls and he'd move on. This just wasn't how she wanted things to go for him.

Despite wanting the relationship over, wanting the girl's hold on her son severed, and getting what she wanted if not exactly how she wanted, Gemma found herself angry. The little bitch broke her baby's heart. She'd seen it coming, knew the girl was nothing but trouble, but it pissed her off none the less. And she was going to see to it that girl knew to steer clear of her son.

* * *

><p>It didn't seem possible that the girl actually heard the doorbell with the music inside blasting so loud it could be heard clear down the block. It didn't surprise her that the neighbors didn't complain, if they could ignore the noise of Ric tossing the child around the music should hardly register. But as she stepped onto the porch she was prepared to be standing there awhile and was glad that Tara opened the door sooner than Gemma would have imagined.<p>

"How do you hear anything over all that damn noise?"

The only reason Tara opened the door was because she was on her way out of it. But explaining herself to Gemma Teller was not high on her priority list anymore. "My dad's not here."

Gemma's eyebrow hitched at the girl's insolent tone. "Who says I was here to see him? Maybe I want to see my trellis, you can let me into the garage can't you?" That Ric was one of the best wood worker's she'd ever known and was building the trellis she would be standing under when she married Clay, gave her exactly the excuse she needed to be here today.

"I can." Tara crossed her arms over chest. "I won't. My dad doesn't like anyone to see his pieces until he's done with them." It was a picky artist thing Tara never understood but didn't question.

"My trellis, makes it my piece." Gemma wasn't sure why she was arguing with the girl about this, didn't know what it was about the girl that made her feel so argumentative. "The wedding's in two days, I need to see it."

"You haven't paid him yet, so it's still his."

Gemma didn't want to be impressed, not even as marginally as she was. But she couldn't help but wonder what it was about breaking up with Jax that made the little bitch so haughty. "And just how would Ric feel if he finds out I'm no longer interested in buying that trellis because of your smart mouth?"

There was a time Gemma intimidated her, a time she would have done everything in her power to avoid pissing her off. Though she hadn't said anything, and done whatever she could to be respectful, Tara knew Gemma was not happy about her relationship with Jax. It bothered her, but not overmuch as she was too busy being happy with Jax to care about Gemma. But it had been hard to miss the recent glee in Gemma's voice whenever she informed her that Jax wasn't taking her calls. Now she was too angry and hurt to be intimidated by Gemma. "Don't know about him but I'll be relieved. The less you see of my father the better."

"Got something you want to say, sweetheart."

"Other than I don't want you whispering in my father's ear anymore."

The smirk tugged at the corners of Gemma's lips, the girl had balls she'd give her that. "I'm not in the habit of being bossed around by teenagers. But don't worry, now that Jax is done with you, I don't see our families interacting too much anymore." The words were tossed out as she turned to leave.

"Was it necessary?" Tara found the words flying out of her mouth, halting Gemma in her tracks. "Lying to my father, getting him to hurt me just so Jax and I would break up. Was it really necessary?"

Gemma winced, looking at Tara now the bruise on her face had healed but she'd heard about it and had known just how it got there. She told herself it wasn't her fault, that she only wanted Ric to get control of his daughter not knock her around. Told herself it was beyond her control. And since she'd seen Ric and he said nothing about it, it was easy for Gemma to believe she had nothing to do with what happened. She had no idea how Tara pieced it together. She hated the guilt caused by the girls words and refused to accept it. "Sweetie, you think it's a secret your old man likes to knock you around from time to time. I doubt he needed a reason before and I doubt he needed help from me this time."

"Whatever." Tara rolled her eyes. "Just leave my dad alone."

"You think you scare me little girl." Gemma advanced and was pleased to see the flicker of fear in the girl's eyes. "Why are you protecting him? Knocked you around, turned that pretty face black and blue, so why protect him?"

"Because he's my dad." The simplicity, truth, and conviction behind her statement shamed Tara. She hated that despite everything she still felt the need to protect her father, to shield him. He was her father but he rarely behaved like it, yet here she stood warning Gemma to leave him alone like he deserved her protection.

"Well your father's a fuck up, sweetheart. The sooner you realize that the better off you'll be."

Tara could tell Gemma she'd been aware for years of just how big a fuck up her father had been. "And he fucks up just fine all on his own, he doesn't need your help. So just leave him alone."

When the door closed in her face, Gemma realized she hadn't been able to warn Tara away like planed. She was sure Jax was done with Tara and was more than pleased with that. Which was why she wasn't sure what to do with grudging respect she was feeling for the girl at the moment.

* * *

><p>Tara wasn't entirely sure what Gemma had been hoping to accomplish by showing up at her door. But she was sure whatever the woman's plan had been, it did not include strengthening her resolve. Because really that was all Gemma accomplished. Tara was not ready to give up on Jax. She had refused to let her father dictate the course of her relationship so she'd be damned if she allowed Gemma to as well. She may not have been able to make sense of much lately, but she loved Jax. Once she stopped to consider Jax's behavior, his anger, his accusations, she thought maybe he loved her to. And before she gave up their relationship, she'd know for sure.<p>

It seemed to her that Gemma and Clay's wedding was the perfect place to talk to him. All of Charming was invited. She knew just how much Jax loved his mother and was pretty much counting on that love to keep him from acting like a complete asshole the moment he saw her. She was also counting on Gemma to be in Queen of Charming mode as well. Maybe it was manipulative on her part but at the moment it was all she had. And she needed to do whatever she could.

Dressing for the wedding hadn't been easy. Her wardrobe wasn't exactly running over with dresses and skirts. The one thing working in her favor was that the wedding would be held at Charming Center Garden, so it wouldn't be an overly formal affair. Still Tara had to hunt through her wardrobe before finding a pleated skirt that fell to mid-thigh and flared with her movements, matching it with a breezy scooped neck peasant top. The skirt was a deep, nearly blue, purple. The top was in the same deep purple with green flowered pattern weaved through. Jax loved her in purple and in green, so she figured having these two pieces was a sign.

Standing in front of her bathroom mirror, Tara studied her appearance. She thought she looked more like her mother than she ever had before, right down to the beaded shoulder dusters. It wasn't a thought she allowed herself often, because it was pointless and useless and hurt way too much, but Tara wished for her mother. Wished for someone to tell her that she could do this. The fear came, unbidden, to whisper softly in her ear. Telling her this was a bad idea, that Jax was clearly done with her, and to save herself the trouble, the embarrassment. It took all she had to drown out that voice and bury the fear. She didn't have her mother, her father either for all the good he'd been lately. But that didn't mean she had to be alone. She may have greatly fucked things up with Opie but she knew if she needed him he wouldn't let her down. And she knew that she could always count on Piney. And if she got off her ass and tried to make things right with Jax, she could have him too.

Giving her reflection a nod, Tara resolved not to allow her fear to keep her from what she wanted.

* * *

><p>The drive to the park was a short one, all drives in Charming were short ones. There had been talk, everyone believed that Gemma and Clay would get married at the clubhouse. Tara wasn't sure where that came from since no one had been to Gemma's last wedding so there was no frame of reference.<p>

"Hey, Tara-girl-"

Glancing briefly over at her father, Tara couldn't help the surge of pride she felt at the sight of the trellis he made. He was a drunk, a mess, and a shit load of other things but he was also really talented. She stopped wondering what he could do if he stopped drinking, stopped fucking up. It was as fruitless as wishing for her mother. But his talent almost demanded a 'what if'.

"Kiddo!"

Despite her thoughts and the want for her father to get better, she continued to walk as if she hadn't heard him. His shit was the last thing she needed.

"Tara!"

It made her jump, though she didn't know why other than her nerves being completely and totally shot. But she was glad she chose to wear flats as she was sure she'd have gone straight down on her ass otherwise. "Hey, Candy." The smile she wore dimmed considerably when she saw the reluctant boy Candy dragged behind her.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?"

Tara nodded. Charming didn't have many parks and the ones it did weren't exactly state of the art, that was until today. She shouldn't have been surprised, she'd seen Gemma work. Knew she could crack the whip and get shit done like nobody's business. So of course she'd work overtime when it came to her own wedding. "Yeah. It looks really nice." She tried a smile but couldn't quite meet Opie's eyes. "How early did she have you guys out here?"

"Ass crack of dawn." Opie mumbled, not able to meet her eyes either. "I'll be so glad when this shit is over I won't know what to do with myself. Jax should be ready to pass out."

At just the mention of his name her heart picked up a beat, her eyes scanned the park and found him almost immediately. Jax was standing with several members of the club, that he was actually in a suit brought a smile to her lips. He looked so uncomfortable, the tie she's sure his mother forced him into was slightly undone but that didn't stop him from tugging at it every so often. His suit jacket was off and thrown over his arm. His shirt was un-tucked in the back, her fingers itched to go over and tuck it in for him, and his pants hung low on his hips. When he looked over at her, something very close to a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and for the first time in days Tara felt something like relief. "You two are good now?"

Opie nodded. "Yeah, we got it figured out."

"That's good." She hated the strain in Opie and Jax's friendship. Hated even more being the cause of it.

"You should go talk to him." Candy advised.

Tara shook her head. "Not now." It seemed best to wait until after the ceremony and she could get him alone without worrying about an interruption.

* * *

><p>She was just so fucking pretty. Jax couldn't recall ever seeing her in a skirt. He'd seen her legs before, made his stomach twist to think about having them thrown over his shoulders. So he didn't know why he was reacting to seeing them now, feeling his blood heat whenever she moved, especially when she sat down and crossed those amazing legs causing the skirt to slip higher up her thigh.<p>

"I'm pretty sure it's a sin to be thinking those thoughts in front of a man of God."

Jax grinned, trying to appear as if his entire body wasn't twisting itself into knots. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Clay scoffed. "Just keep it in your pants until after the ceremony."

He could wait because he had no plans to talk to her. He didn't know if he even _wanted_ to talk to her and if he did what he would even say to her. Jax doubted her father told her about his visit and he hoped she never found out. It embarrassed him. He'd gone to protect her, ended up getting his ass handed to him. It wasn't something he was eager for her to know.

The ceremony, however, was mercifully short. Knowing how important it was to his mother Jax tried to pay attention to as much of it as he could, but his gaze kept falling away to Tara. She was sitting with her old man, actually it looked like her old man was sitting with her as Tara was sitting as far away from him as she could despite their close proximity.

He caught her eye as he followed his mother and Clay down the makeshift aisle, she gave him a smile as unsure as the one he gave her earlier. And he thought maybe he didn't have to talk to her, didn't have to listen to her explain how she knew he'd be useless at protecting her. All he wanted was to be around her. He thought if he could just be around her again he'd feel more himself than he had in the last two weeks.

* * *

><p>The dancing started. The only turn Jax took on the floor was with his mother. And as much as this whole thing still did not sit right with him, he was glad to see his mother happy. He didn't know anyone who deserved it more. Going up to the bar he tried to get a beer, and it seemed Tara had the same idea as she was there as well, but the croweater behind the bar was telling them it was a no go.<p>

"You're not serious." Jax said with a wry grin.

"You served me before." Tara added.

"At the clubhouse," The croweater nodded. "This ain't the clubhouse. Law's here, I'm not getting dragged off for contributing."

"Hey," Opie came up behind Jax, lifting up the hem of his flannel to give a flash of the bottle tucked into his pants. "Take a walk?"

"Hell yeah."

"You coming Tara?"

It was Candy who asked, though Jax realized the invitation had been on the tip of his tongue. Didn't realize he was holding his breath waiting for her answer until he released it at her nod. This would be enough, he thought as Tara fell into step next to him, he was around her again and it would have to be enough.

* * *

><p>There wasn't much surprise, considering Piney's drink of choice, that the bottle of booze Opie pilfered was tequila. Two pulls were about all Tara could handle. Jax worried it was because it reminded her of how he acted at Lindsay's party. Fortunately he didn't have to worry long.<p>

"Never known you to wave away a drink." Candy observed. They'd gone out to the parking lot, the deeper areas of the park were already being utilized by members of the club and their 'dates'.

"Never puked so much as I did after Lindsay's party either. There was a moment where, I swear to God, getting hit by a bus seemed less painful."

"Fucking light weight."

"Blow it out your ass, Winston."

Jax tried not to wince at the interaction between the two, but he must have made some sort of movement because Opie reached out and took Candy's hand.

"We'll be back."

As Opie dragged Candy back to the wedding, Tara was beginning to feel set up. She thought maybe Jax realized it as well but took it as a good sign that he didn't immediately leave.

Having pulled out a pack of cigarettes, Jax placed a slim stick between his lips. "That was kind of slick. Think we should hang back so they can feel good about themselves."

"Jax, I am so sorry." The words flew out of her mouth before she could think to stop them. There was a speech, on the drive over she thought of everything she wanted to say to him, the things she wanted to explain. But it all flew out of her head now that she was alone with him. "I lied to you. I should have told you, talked to you-"

"You don't have to explain, Tara." He didn't need to hear her tell him how much safer she felt with Opie.

"But I do." Pushing away from the van she was leaning against, Tara crossed the short distance until she was clutching Jax's suit jacket in her hand. "My dad drinks. Not since my mom died, but always. It just got worse after…when I was little it wasn't so bad. But…I don't know, every time I found him passed out, I'd get angrier and angrier."

Reaching out, Jax touched the tips of his fingers to the ends of her hair. "You don't have to go through this."

"When we first started hanging out," She continued in a rush. "I figured I didn't have to tell you because things between us weren't that serious."

Despite his first two protestations, a question still spilled from his lips. "And when things got serious?"

"You bailed on me."

"Tara, I didn't-

"That's what it felt like. I thought I couldn't trust you."

Jax tried to pull away from her, but she held firm to his jacket moving closer so that he'd have had to shove her away to get pass her.

"It was an excuse because I did trust you. I didn't tell you for a lot of reasons but it wasn't that I didn't trust you."

"What were the reasons?"

"I was embarrassed for one."

"Why were you embarrassed?" When she averted her gaze, Jax took her chin in his hand so that she was looking at him. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"You don't understand," He dropped his hand and she knew he was upset, that those words were ones he didn't want to hear. "My father's a drunk, Jax. You can't understand what that's like. I don't know what I'm walking into some days. And the times I do know is sometimes worse. I've found my father lying in his own vomit, pants soaked with piss."

Maybe he didn't understand. He'd been at the clubhouse, seen the guys passed out drunk and always found it funny to come across them in a particularly embarrassing position. He couldn't even begin to understand what it would have been like for a young girl to find her father the way Tara described.

"He calls me names. Not all the time but he can get really mean. Sometimes he'd just cry, I almost hate that more than when he's mean. But I still love him. He's my dad and I love him. Every time he pushes me, I try to make myself stop. I want to hate him but I can't."

Jax thought to ask her how. How could she possibly love the sad pathetic mess that was Ric Knowles but he realized no matter what she said he wouldn't understand. Lifting his hand, he gently brushed away the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

"I was being selfish. I liked when I was with you my dad was a million miles away. If you knew…Being with you was so sweet…I felt so…so _safe. _I didn't want to bring my dad into it."

The words hit him hard, exactly what he needed to hear when he was feeling so useless to her.

"I know you're probably done with me, but-"

Not wanting her to finish that sentence, even hating that the words even slipped passed her lips, Jax closed what little distance there was between them by kissing her.

The tears were coming faster now, she couldn't stop them even if she wanted to. With one hand still clutching his jacket, Tara fisted the other in his hair. "I don't want us to be done." She whispered the words into his mouth.

"I don't want us to be done either." Taking the hand from his jacket, he brought it to his mouth to brush his lips over her fingers. "We're not done, Tara. We never were."


	22. Chapter 22

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 22**

"We should go back to my house." Tara glanced nervously around the dark house. She and Jax had stayed at the wedding long enough for him to see his mother off. No one had noticed them leaving, she doubted anyone even noticed when they wandered back to the party hand in hand. Maybe Gemma noticed but that was only because Gemma noticed everything.

It had started to feel like Clay and Gemma would never leave. But Tara understood that was just her desperation to be alone with Jax. It should have been enough the way he held her to his chest, the way he'd dip his head to talk to her so that his lips brushed her ear when he did. It should have been enough but it wasn't. Tara wanted more. And she'd been all but crawling out of her skin in her need to be alone with him. "I mean, won't Gemma and Clay be back soon."

"Naw," Taking Tara by the hand, Jax lead her through the house to his bedroom. It wasn't until he flipped on the lights and noticed his shit laying everywhere that he realized this was the first time he'd ever had her here. "They're heading to Vegas, they'll be there a couple days." He released her hand so that he could start scooping up the jeans, boxers, and T-shirts he had thrown around. There was a dirty ashtray by the bed he made a quick grab for, hoped she didn't notice him roll it into a pair of jeans to dump into the hamper. His mother would shit a brick about that but at the moment he was trying to keep Tara from turning her nose up in disgust and making a break for it. Too late he remembered his mother telling him the room reeked but still rushed to open the window above his bed. He wanted to tell her his room didn't normally look this way but thought it best not to mention that his mother still cleaned his room. Especially when he may go further and admit that the wedding had Gemma preoccupied and he allowed the room to become the sty it was waiting on her to get around to cleaning it.

There were plates and cups and a bag of half eaten potato chips that had to be disposed of. He considered stuffing those in the hamper but didn't think he could get away with it without Tara seeing. "You can make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." He stopped in front of her with a easy grin, pressed his lips soundly to hers before leaving the room.

Tara waited until he was gone to allow the smile to form. There was something unbelievably cute about Jax scurrying around the room tiding up. She caught the move with the ashtray but since he went through so much trouble to try and hide it from her she said nothing. Kicking off her shoes, she wandered to the dresser where she noticed he had several pictures taped to his mirror.

There were pictures of him and his dad as well as him and his little brother. She could only vaguely remember Thomas and the boy she remembered was skinny and sickly. The little boy in the picture with Jax appeared vibrant and healthy. It made her smile to see he had that picture there, made her love him just a bit more. Turning away from the dresser she walked over to sit on the side of his bed and was surprised to see he had a picture of her taped to his lamp. One of the ones Gemma took on his birthday.

"Just taking off your shoes is getting comfortable?"

Seeing the incense in his hand she knew what had taken him so long. She kind of liked how he seemed embarrassed that she caught him holding it. "Maybe I was waiting on you."

"Can't complain about that then." Lighting the incense, Jax placed the smoking stick into the holder his mother used before setting it on his dresser. He'd lost his jacket and his tie almost immediately. He wanted the shirt gone but thought how he'd really like to see her in it. "I can give you this to sleep in if you want?"

Instead of telling him what she wanted, Tara figured it would be more fun to show him. Reaching around to the small of her back she pulled down the zipper of her skirt, giving a little shimmy of her hips to have it pooling at her feet. Sure she had his attention, she made quick work of pulling her top over her head.

Glad he was no longer holding an open flame, Jax dropped the lighter so he could cross the room in two long strides. He slid one arm around her waist, allowed his other hand to fist into her hair. He missed this, missed the way she practically melted against him, the way her head dropped back as she matched him kiss for kiss. When she stretched up on the tips of her toes, he pulled her tighter to his chest. Her hands went into his hair, the soft little noises she was making driving him crazy. "I need to get you covered up."

Pulling away slightly Tara began to loosen the buttons on his shirt. "Why?"

He groaned, the promise in her voice causing his blood to boil. Dipping his head he gave her full bottom lip a gentle bite. "You know why." Moving away from her, he pulled the shirt off. "Sleep in this tonight." He needed to find her a pair of pants and maybe a sweatshirt and a snowsuit.

"I love you."

The words didn't just stop his forward movement, it actually felt like they stopped his heart. "What?"

If she'd been looking anywhere but at his eyes she'd have denied ever saying anything. But she was able to see pass the question, pass the disbelief in his voice, and see the hope in his eyes. His blue eyes so bright her breath nearly caught. "I love you."

Scooping her up in his arms, Jax took a few steps back until they were tumbling onto his bed. He rolled, tucking her body beneath his. Her legs fell open and he wasted no time settling his hips in the cradle of her thighs. Would have sworn he could feel her heat even through his slacks. He was hard, almost painfully so, but he wasn't sure how he wanted her to relieve the pressure. She hadn't gone down on him since his birthday, but he wasn't sure how long he'd last if she did now. He could grind his hips against hers, but that was always much more fun when she was on top. When her hands worked their way between them, Jax thought she was going to make the decision for him. And wouldn't have a single problem with her taking him in her hands.

"Do you have a condom?"

He'd been bracing himself for the feel of her small soft hand to wrap around him, preparing not to lose it the second she touched him. At her question, his eyes snapped open and was almost sure he heard her wrong. "What?"

Tara giggled despite her nerves going absolutely crazy. "Have you gone deaf, Teller?"

"No. No." He thought to ask her if she was sure, but as long as he's known her Tara has never done anything she didn't want to do. "Condom?" Jax scrambled off the bed, sending up a silent prayer that he still had a box of condoms somewhere. He wasn't sure since he hadn't had use of the damn things since he and Tara woke up at Opie's house together all those months ago. The thought occurred to him to go search Clay's shit, but really hoped it didn't come to that.

"You don't have one in your wallet?"

"Took it out. Felt like it was mocking me."

"And if this would have happened anywhere but here?"

"I'd have cried. Then promised on my life to pull out."

"I'm a virgin, Jax, not an idiot."

The box was in the back of his top drawer. He'd searched the drawer first but must have over looked it in his excitement. Opening the box and taking out one condom seemed like it would take too much time so he brought the whole thing back with him to the bed.

"Someone's optimistic."

"Not optimistic. I'm just that good, babe."

Pushing up off the bed, Tara slipped her fingers into his hair to pull him back down to the bed with her.

It wasn't easy for him to get the box open, not when his mouth, mind, and body were preoccupied with her. But he somehow managed it, pressing the condom into her palm before once again settling his weight over her. And it was then he saw a flash of hesitation and fear in her eyes. Bringing his hand up, he brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. He hadn't meant to frighten her. He gave her the condom because he wanted her to feel in control, to let her know she had just as much say in the pace of things as he did. Maybe even more. "It'll be okay."

She hadn't expected that to help, hadn't expected to believe him. But while the nerves were still fluttering in her belly, the fear receded.

He went slowly as much for himself as for her. His kisses were long and slow, reacquainting himself with her taste and the feel of her lips against his. He kissed her until the tightness in her muscles eased, until the hands at his back stopped clutching at him to slide over him. Kissed her until he trusted himself to ease his lips down her neck, to slip the straps of her bra off her shoulders.

Tara arched, giving him access to the clasp of her bra and wasn't at all surprised by how easily he snapped it open. She tried to stay in the moment. Jax had touched her a thousand times before, ever since his birthday his favorite thing was sucking marks onto her breasts, they tasted each other in the most intimate way. All this she knew and anticipated so much it made her quiver. Still her mind strayed to what would come after.

For the first time all the kissing, touching, biting, and tasting was leading to something more. She could tell that Jax was trying to go slow, to ease her into this. But at times his hands would grip her a bit too tightly, he'd bite down a bit too hard, or his kisses deeper and more insistent. The way he'd catch himself, gentle his touch and place an almost apologetic kiss on her skin, succeeded only in driving her crazy. She loved this boy. And everything he did seemed only to make her fall harder and deeper.

It was getting harder and harder for him to think. When her hands went to his belt, it was almost impossible for him to think of anything other than how this night would end. She was shivering and he was embarrassed to realize he was as well. He wanted to make this good for her but he'd never been with a virgin. He knew it would hurt her. Someone, thought maybe it was Bobby, told him there were ways to lessen the pain. He really hope they weren't just blowing smoke up his ass about that.

Once she worked his pants open, Jax wasted no time pushing them down his hips and kicking them off. Pushing away from her just long enough to rid himself of his boxers and her of her panties. "Fuck, Tara." He was so hard it actually hurt. Stretching out over her again he felt the way she tensed up. "It's okay."

"I know." The words were whispered and not nearly as convincing as she wanted them to be. "I trust you, Jax." She couldn't assure him that she wasn't afraid, but she did trust him and she wanted this. She thought it was important he know that.

"I think…" His voice was just as soft as hers. "It would be better for you…if you get on top?" It wasn't suppose to come out as a question and he didn't think being nervous would do her much good.

"Yeah…" But she wanted to be close to him, thought that was more important than the act itself, and she wouldn't get that if she was on top. "Candy said…" Or Candy said her cousin told her but Tara didn't think it was a good time to get into that. "It wouldn't be so bad if…you were…behind me?"

It wasn't an ideal position for him, he wanted to see her face but it didn't seem smart to argue. More, he wanted to do all he could to put her at ease. Climbing over her wasn't as smooth as he would have liked. And once or twice he bumped her in the back in his rush to put on the condom. Forcing himself to calm down, he slipped one arm under her, smiling when she took his hand and brought it up to her lips. As much as he wanted to be inside her, Jax waited. Brushing his lips over her shoulder and neck, slipping his hand between her legs to touch her until she was shaking as much from arousal as fear.

Placing one hand on her hip, Jax drew her back against him so that he could place himself at with her entrance. "Tara…" He wasn't sure what he wanted to say to her, didn't have the words to tell her what this meant to him, and could only bury his face in her neck as he pushed into her for the first time.

* * *

><p>Jax continued to hold her even after the sweat began to dry on their bodies. She began to shiver but he didn't want to let her go, not even for the short amount of time it would take to draw his blankets over them. It took all he had to pull out of her, but he had to get the condom off. When he tied it off, tossed it in the general direction of the trash can in the corner where it hit the wall and fell to the floor, the way she giggled kind of made the effort worth it.<p>

He couldn't stop touching her, especially when he discovered the way her back arched whenever he ran a finger down her spine. He wanted her again. She was so tight, he almost lost it the second he was inside her. The way she held his hand, keeping their fingers interlaced and pressed to her lips, getting to him in a way he didn't expect.

The only thing his mind had fully been able to comprehend was just how good she felt, he hadn't even registered the initial awkwardness. But now it hit him. He was her first. It seemed ridiculous, how happy that made him. It wasn't something he thought would matter as much as it did. Definitely didn't expect the surge of possessiveness he felt. He wanted to keep her with him, keep her here locked in his arms always.

"Jax…" Tara snuggled back against him. "I'm cold."

"Sorry bout that." Lifting his head slightly he attempted to pull the blankets up with his feet, but only kicked them further off the bed. "Shit."

"Jesus, Teller." Tara laughed, started to sit up but Jax's arms tightened around her. "Okay, one of us is going to have to sit up and grab those blankets."

"Naw," He threw his leg over hers. "We don't need 'em, babe. I'll keep you warm."

"Come on, Jax. Please. I'm cold."

"Alright." Sitting up he grabbed the sheet and pulled it up with him as he laid back down. Wrapping his arms around her again, he pulled her back against his chest, allowing her to pull the sheet up over them. "Are you okay?"

It made Tara smile because she heard what he was really asking. There were so many things she could tell him. Things she thought would make him uncomfortable to hear and her uncomfortable to say. And things-like the fact that she had the most ridiculous urge to hum _INXS' Never Tear Us Apart_-that she'd never admit to herself let alone tell him. She told him what she could. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Was it…" He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "I mean I know you didn't…"

"Jax." It wasn't easy for her to turn around but she liked that Jax was so unwilling to let her go. So when his hold did loosen, she only moved away enough to turn and lay across his chest. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around her again. "I didn't. But I…I loved it, Jax." She didn't think he needed to hear about the uncomfortable stretching, the quick stab of pain, or the few minutes where she just wanted it to be over. "I loved that it was you. I love you and I'm glad that it was you."

Combing his fingers though her hair, he pulled her in for a kiss. "I love that it was me, too. And I'm sure if you give me another try I can get it right."

"You got it right the first time." The smile curled slowly on her lips. "But I'll definitely be giving you another try." She dropped a kiss to his lips. " And another." She kissed him again. "And another." This time she lingered a bit longer.

Reluctantly he drew back, but he had to give her the words that had been tumbling around in his chest for so long now. "I love you, Tara." When she smiled at him, it was unlike any smile she'd given him before. And it shifted something inside of him that would never right itself.

* * *

><p>Tara knew that she didn't look different. Knew that no one would look at her and know that she and Jax had sex. But she <em>felt<em> different. It was something more than the physical ache in her thighs and hips, more than the ache between her legs that reminded her of where only Jax had been. She felt almost as if something very basic and chemical inside of her had changed, something she couldn't explain even if she wanted to.

It was almost for the best that Clay and Gemma were due back, forcing her to return to her own home. She'd have stayed locked in Jax's room forever otherwise. Had even considered facing Gemma's wrath for a few more hours with him. It wasn't the sex, even though Jax went out of his way to make it better for her the second time, she hadn't lied when she told him it was the closeness she felt to him that mattered more than anything. It was the quiet way he spoke to her, even though they were alone, that made her feel like they were the only two people in the entire world. It was the way she felt when she looked at him, as if her body couldn't even contain the love she had for him.

They both knew it wouldn't last, still didn't make it any easier for Jax to let her go. Two whole days she stayed with him. Two days where he could touch her, kiss her, whenever he wanted. Two days where he had her all to himself. He wasn't ready for it to end. Didn't want to spend a second away from her. Considered barricading his bedroom door, wondered just how long the two of them could survive without food or water, and was more than willing to give it a try. But Tara wouldn't have it.

Now he was on his bike, following behind the Cutlass as she drove home. He had to drive her back to the park. Had offered to tow it for her, but Tara had told him there was no use borrowing trouble. This time she explained to him that she wanted to avoid a fight with her father. It pissed him off, had him gripping her hips tightly at the thought of her getting into another fight with her asshole of a father. But she soothed the angry scowl on his face by running her hands over his cheeks.

She knew he had to get back to the clubhouse, that his mother would expect to see him when she returned. So she told him he didn't have to see her home, that all she needed was for him to take her back to her car, and to come see her later. Jax followed her home. When she got to the house, she thought he'd see her in the door and keep riding, instead he climbed off his bike and walked her back into her bedroom.

"You need to go. And so do I. I have work, remember?"

Wrapping his arms around her waist, Jax backed her up to her dresser. "We got time." His lips trailed over her jaw and down her neck. Keeping one arm locked around her, he dropped the other until his hand could ease under her skirt. "Got plenty of time."

"No," She tried to push his hand away, ended up tangling her fingers with his. "We don't."

He wanted to make her come again, wanted to spend the day feeling her clench around him. "Are you still sore?" Feeling her nod against his lips, Jax left a trail of kisses up to her ear. "I can kiss it better for you."

The groan that rumbled deep in her throat was completely beyond her control. When their joined hands moved towards her panties it was more her doing than his. It wasn't until he pressed a finger to her that she snapped out of the haze he had her in. "Jax, please. I'm going to be late for work."

The disappointed sigh he made was beyond his control but Jax stepped back none the less. "Alright. As long as you promise to come over later."

Tara wanted to be with him more than anything but realized the peace they found at his house was as good as gone once his mother returned. "Why don't you come over here? Promise to be quiet, my dad won't even know you're here."

"I wasn't the one making all the noise, babe." Jax gave her lips a gentle nip. "But alright." He didn't care where they were. All that mattered was that they were together and that she was never alone with her old man again. "See you later."

"Bye."

Jax took two steps toward the door before turning back to press another kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"I love you."

* * *

><p>"Well look at this little happy motherfucker."<p>

Jax knew the odds of the clubhouse being empty were slim to none. But he was hoping that at least a _few_ brothers would find something else more pressing to be doing. Though many would argue there was nothing more pressing then welcoming back the pres and his queen.

"The gates of heaven finally open for you, kid." Bobby continued where Kozik left off.

"You boys have nothing better to do around here than miss me." Jax leaned across the bar, accepting the beer Opie handed him with a grateful nod.

"Boy gets a little pussy and he thinks he's a man." Otto shook his head.

The grin Jax gave was a little shaky around the edges. He'd been expecting the ribbing, for the guys to take the piss out of him. It's what they did, what he'd been use to whenever he took a croweater to the back apartment. But Tara wasn't some croweater or a chick from school. And hearing her referred to as pussy had his hand clenching around the beer bottle.

"Careful boys," Tig who was behind the bar, was eyeing Jax's hand. "I don't think the prince appreciates hearing little miss Tara talked about that way."

"Then he needs to calm the fuck down." Kyle advised. "It's just pussy. A sweet little pussy but-"

"Motherfucker!" Jax launched the barely touched beer at Kyle's head. Would have leapt across the bar at the son of a bitch if Opie hadn't caught him. "Say one more fucking word about her and I swear to God…"

It was Bobby who grabbed a fistful of Jax's T-shirt and began shoving him out of the clubhouse, but not before he heard Tig laughing at Kyle.

"Never learn anything do you kid? Fucking idiot."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Jax jerked out of Bobby's hold. Hands shaking as he pulled out a cigarette, trying to pace off the anger as he lit it. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me?"

"Kyle's an idiot. You tried to take his fucking head off."

"And what would you do if he was talking about your Old Lady like that?"

Opie seemed surprised by his comment, but Bobby only laughed. "You're sixteen. What the fuck do you know about having an Old Lady?" But Jax shot him a look that was so much like JT's, Bobby's grin dropped quickly. "You bet not let Gemma hear you talk like that."

Jax knew that his mother would shit a brick if she heard him refer to Tara as his Old Lady. And he also knew he may have sounded a bit like a chick getting so serious so soon after they had sex. But he couldn't help it. He knew what he was feeling for Tara and didn't see the point in denying it. "Well she's going to have to get use to it."

Bobby held his hands up as if in surrender. "Alright. That's you and Gemma's shit. Still no point getting into it with Kyle and having Gemma ask questions the second she steps into the clubhouse. Enjoy the honeymoon phase. Trust me, that shit ain't gonna last long."


	23. Chapter 23

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**Chapter 23**

Jax didn't even have to go around and check the drive to know that her father was there. The music was as much a clue as anything. He knew it was something she'd been doing for years and he thought he'd worked out her system. If the music was up to deafening, even for people blocks away, she either snuck out or had locked herself in her bedroom away from her old man. If he was at her window and he could hear himself think, it meant she was alone in the house.

He left her at Eglee's just an hour ago, didn't want to go then but his mother had paged him. He assured her that he'd be at her house as soon as he could, so he knew she was there. Which meant the volume was up because her father was home as well. He liked to think now that the music was a signal, her way of letting him know to bypass the front door and climb through her bathroom window. So he did just that. And succeeded in scaring the living shit out of his girlfriend.

"Jesus Christ, Jax."

"Sorry." It was an empty apology though he tried to mean it. But it was really hard to be sorry for coming in the way he did when he found her naked in the tub. She sat straight up when he came in, sloshing water over the lip, and he thought it was kind of cute the way she attempted to cover herself. "There's no point in that, babe. Every inch of you is ingrained right here." He tapped a finger to his temple as he knelt down next to the tub, not caring about the water soaking through his jeans.

Tara didn't know why this somehow felt different, more intimate, than lying naked in bed with him. Didn't know why it was so hard to drop her hands and lay back in the tub once more. She did it because she knew she was being silly and tried to be as easy as the grin he shot her. "A little warning would have been nice."

"But not nearly as fun." He dipped a hand in the water, idly swirling his fingers in the hot water. "What is this you're listening to?"

_I told you_

_That we could fly_

_Cause we all have wings…_

Tara winced, forgetting she'd made what she called a _I'm such a teenage girl_ mix tape of all the songs that reminded her of Jax. Especially since she'd been slowly compiling songs for months but this was the first time she actually listened to it. "INXS."

"You've got the most eclectic taste in music." The back of his fingers began to brush over her calf. "Think there's room in here for me?"

Relieved that he didn't connect the music to her being a walking cliché, Tara gave him a teasing grin. "There could be if I could trust you to behave."

"Not a chance." Bringing his hand out of the water he held it above her arm and watched as the droplets of water dripped onto the arm she had resting on the lip of the tub. "At least let me wash your back."

Instead of answering, Tara scooted forward just a bit before bringing her knees up to her chest and leaning forward. The grin on Jax's face could only be described as shit-eating. Reaching across her he grabbed the soap from the holder on the wall, working up a lather before setting it aside so he could move his hands over her back. He loved her back, like really _fucking_ loved it. Her skin was so pale, seemed even more so on her back, and so unbelievably soft. Wondered if it was maybe his feelings for her that made her seem softer, sweeter, better than anyone he'd ever been with. More he was relieved that no one else knew just how she shivered at the slightest touch to the small of her back. As his fingers trailed lightly down her spine he had to wonder if she'd given him some sort of complex by having him take her the way he did the first time.

The urge to kiss her neck, her shoulders, and her back hit him so strongly his movements became erratic as rinsed the soap away. He was actually still drawing water over her back when he leaned in to press his mouth to the soft curve where her neck and shoulder met. Tara gasped when he used his teeth, he loved the way she moaned when he ran his tongue over her even more. He was practically leaning over the tub but found it completely worth it to suck at the base of her neck. And falling face first into the water was the last thing on his mind as his lips and teeth and tongue made patterns across her back.

When she moaned and arched, drawing her skin away from his eager lips, Jax wrapped an arm around her front. Holding her in place while enjoying the feel of her breast in his hand. There was a time he thought he'd found every sensitive spot she had. Biting the spot just below her shoulder blade that had her crying out, he realized just how wrong he'd been.

"Tara," He was on the verge of begging. Insanity didn't seem too far off either. He wanted her, wanted to be inside her, but he wasn't ready to leave her back yet. There seemed a simple solution, but he liked watching her come. Wanted to watch again. "Goddamn it, Tara." Her hand came up to fist in his hair, had water running down in his face. The entire front of his shirt was wet, but that was more his fault than hers.

"Jax," Tara moaned, not sure what it was about his lips on her back that had her blood heating the way it did. "Okay. Okay."

He hadn't even been aware of mouthing questions against her back, only realized what he'd been doing when she answered. And practically pulled her from the tub with the arm he still had wrapped around her. Probably would have taken her there on the bathroom floor if his knees weren't screaming from being pressed into the unforgiving surface. He was half carrying, half dragging her into her bedroom. Her sheets were going to get soaked but he thought stopping to get a towel would take too much time. Besides it didn't matter. Not with the way his entire body was humming.

Jax had just lowered Tara to the bed when a knock sounded at the door. But he didn't let that stop him from stretching out on top of her.

"Tara-girl!" Ric managed to shout over the music.

"Jax." Tara whispered, hands in Jax's hair trying to pull his mouth away from her neck. "I can't…with my dad."

"I can," He kept his mouth on her neck even as his hands came up to cup her breasts. He didn't give a shit about her father, would have said as much but upsetting her at the moment didn't seem too wise. Instead he began kissing down her neck until his lips were brushing over the tops of her breasts. "But don't worry, I'll be really quiet."

"Tara, I'm going out."

Being annoyed with him when he was attempting to be a good father didn't seem fair. But she doubted he'd be alerting her to his comings and goings if he hadn't knocked the hell out of her a few weeks ago. So Tara didn't feel at all guilty for just wanting her father to go the fuck away.

"Tara-"

"Dad! Alright! Bye!" She flung the words out and almost immediately began to picture the hurt she knew would be on his face. Hated that she actually felt guilty. It probably would have overwhelmed her had Jax not chosen that moment to run his tongue over her hip. When she glanced down at him, he didn't even bother to try and hide the fact that he was laughing.

It was because he was so busy laughing that she was able to catch him off balance and push him onto his back. Their position on the bed was awkward and he was still fully dressed. But even through his jeans she could feel how hard he was. And his pupils had seemed to swallow up the blue of his eyes.

"What are you thinking, babe?"

"I'm thinking I should put on the pair of flannel pajamas I got for my birthday a few years ago."

"Don't do that." He ran his fingers up her spine, enjoying the way she shivered and arched in response. "As a matter of fact," Because she was suddenly pliant he was able to once again flip her onto her back. "I'm wearing too many clothes." Pulling his shirt off he started to lean down to kiss her, only to be stopped short by Tara's mouth on his shoulder.

It wasn't something that made total sense, but it was only now that Tara realized she hadn't really touched him since they started having sex. Before she'd been almost embarrassingly eager to run her hands and lips over any part of him she could. Yet since they started having sex her hands became rooted to his shoulders and she hadn't sucked a mark onto his chest since before the night her father hit her.

Wanting, _needing_, to remedy that, Tara opened her mouth over the curve of his shoulder. Her tongue slid over his skin, savoring a taste she only just realized she missed. She bit down for no other reason than to feel the way his body clenched. When she began to suck they both moaned.

Jax felt the rush of blood, the eager rush of arousal, but this time he was able to keep himself in check. Pushing himself off her to remove the rest of clothes helped as it gave him a minute to catch his breath. For a moment, when Tara rolled onto her side making him believe she'd changed her mind, he panicked. And couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when he saw she was only going as far as the bedside table. She pulled a condom from the drawer and set it down beside her hip. "You bought condoms?"

"Well…" She was laying completely naked under him yet found herself blushing at admitting to buying condoms. "I figured we wouldn't always be at your house. And it was just better to be safe."

With a grin Jax once again lowered his body to hers, unable to bite back the moan at the easy way her thighs opened to cradle his hips. More he loved that she didn't tense up. Because she gave him that, it wasn't much of a hardship for him to spend a ridiculous amount of time doing no more than kissing her. And she became tense in a different way, nothing resembling fear in the near moss green depths of her eyes.

Now when he eased the condom on his hands were steady. When he placed himself at her entrance, the movements of his hips were slow and easy, causing her eyes to slide shut. But when he was as deep inside of her as he could go they snapped back open. And Jax found that he simply had to hold her gaze the entire time he moved inside of her.

* * *

><p>"Any particular reason we're in Lodi?" Climbing off the bike first, Tara removed the helmet and handed it to him. She considered it a miracle they made it all this way without him being pulled over for riding without a helmet. She didn't think they'd be so lucky on the way home.<p>

"Yup." Settling the helmet over the handlebars, Jax jerked his head toward the store just over her shoulder.

"A bike shop? Wow, Teller, you really know how to romance a girl. Maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to give it up. It's like you're not even trying anymore."

With a grin still firmly in place, Jax took Tara's hand as he led her into the shop. "You call that quick. Any longer and my balls would have literally exploded."

"Teller." The young clerk behind the counter greeted when they walked in. "Didn't expect you back here so soon. The bike running okay."

"Like a fucking dream, Joey. I just came in to get a helmet."

"Fucked up the one you had already."

Jax laughed. "Naw, I need one for my girl."

Tara was sure the shocked look on her face was beat only by the clerk's.

"That's a pretty serious step."

Instead of responding to the clerk, Jax only grinned as he lead Tara to the back of the shop. When they were in front of the helmets he gave her hand a tug until she was standing in front of him and he could rest his hands on her hips. "Pick one."

"Jax," She didn't know why this seemed so very serious. She'd seen the guys around the club, the way they treated there bikes. Which was better than she'd seen a few of them treat the women who hung around the club. But she'd been on the back of Jax's bike plenty of times. Had even been on the back of Opie's. So this shouldn't have felt like a huge step. But she couldn't help but feel like it was one. "I don't think-"

"I've got one helmet babe. Letting you wear it while we ride around Charming is not that big a deal. But we're not going to always be in Charming and even if we are, it's best if we're both wearing a helmet." He allowed his lips to brush her ear as he spoke and punctuated the end of his statement by kissing the place where her jaw curved towards her ear.

"Why does it matter which one I pick? Aren't they all the same?"

"Not really. The one you pick out is yours. Keep it with you so you'll have it whenever I come pick you up."

It should not have made her stomach flutter to hear that. Wondered if she'd ever get to the place where she was use to the things he made her feel. Hoped she never did. "So I can pick anyone I want? Even a hot pink one with a purple flower on the side."

For a moment he was extremely glad her back was to him as he lost all color in his face. Then he remembered who he was dealing with. He didn't even think Tara owned anything pink. "Smart ass."

It took longer than it should have, which was about as long as Jax expected it to. He knew his girl, knew this wasn't a decision she'd make lightly. And loved that he knew her so well he correctly guessed just how long it would take her. Still wasn't sure what to do with the fact that he was turned on by the look of serious concentration on her face.

"Do you want anything on it?" Joey asked when they finally took the helmet up to the counter. "You can get graphics or your name."

Jax was resting his elbow against the counter. His body was angled so that he was facing the storefront, his hand was on the small of her back rubbing in light circles. "Babe?'

"No," Leaning over Tara kissed him, not even caring about the clerk who was likely rolling his eyes at them. "I don't want to _have_ to put my name on it."

Something about the statement, the hint of jealously and what he thought may have been possessiveness, pleased him way more than it should have. "Like I said," His hand slipped under the hem of her shirt. "It's yours." He kissed her again. When she turned her attention back to Joey, watching him as if she didn't trust him with her helmet, Jax took the opportunity to brush his lips down her neck, using his teeth when Joey turned his back on them.

Tara's elbow came up, giving him a knock he knew meant 'cool it'. It made him laugh, considering she started it, but he backed off. He didn't want her pissed at him, especially when he planned on spending the entire day with her. And it was because he was attempting to be good that he looked out the window and saw the other bike pull up across the street. Like always his vision bled at the sight of Eric Knowles. He hated that fucker more with every passing day.

He wanted to take him out, wanted to hurt the son of bitch for manhandling him, to get back some of the pride that still seemed to be scattered across their front lawn. More he wanted the son of a bitch off of Tara's back. Wanted Ric to know that if he ever hurt Tara again, that he could be hurt just as badly. Jax wanted Ric to know that _he_ would be the one to do the hurting.

And when the blonde on the back of Ric's bike removed her helmet, brushing wavy hair back off her face, Jax couldn't help but send out a silent thank you to the opportunity that fate just handed him.

* * *

><p>They were definitely fucking. Gemma didn't know what turned, when or how. She may not have liked Tara Knowles too much but she didn't think the girl put out just to get Jax back. But everything about the two of them together now screamed that they were fucking. It was the way they kissed. They no longer shared quick, easy kisses when other people were around. Now Jax grabbed the girl like he owned every part of her. And Tara always pressed right into him, like she was molding her body to his. When their lips met it was always long and slow, with moans audible enough for anyone stupid enough to be standing next to them to hear.<p>

Every day Gemma saw them together now, she would swear the girl had placed a new string in Jax. Whatever they had before was worse now. They could hardly stand to be apart. Even while they were at work, one always seemed to be on the phone calling the other. Whenever Jax finished up first, he didn't bother to so much as wave before hopping on his bike to get to her. And she knew what time Tara got off of work because barely three minutes seemed to pass before she was whipping the Cutlass into the lot.

But what worried Gemma most about all of this was that it didn't bother her nearly as much as it should have.

* * *

><p>"Last I checked you weren't getting paid to make out with your girlfriend, son." Clay's voice was gruff as he walked by the young couple, who either didn't hear him or just didn't give a shit. "Jax!"<p>

Jax had Tara pressed back against the side of the garage, one hand on her hip the other braced above her head, his thigh situated intimately between hers. "Yeah, okay." Once he was sure Clay was in the garage, he tilted his head to take her mouth again.

With a grin, Tara slid her hands back into Jax's hair. She loved kissing him, always had but maybe even moreso now. There was nothing rushed about his movements. He kissed her now like he had all day to do it, his tongue sliding slick and easy over hers. And when he drew her bottom lip between his, he'd suck in these long, slow pulls that she felt deep in her core. He kissed her like there was no else around for miles to see.

"Jesus Christ." Stepping down out of the office, Gemma tugged on the back of her son's shirt to physically pull him away from the girl. "Get your ass in there before Clay's head explodes."

"Alright, alright." Jax shot a grin over his shoulder at his mother. Stepping away from Tara, but not before giving her bottom lip a gentle nip, he took her hand fulling intending to take her with him into the garage. "Come on, babe."

"Oh no." Gemma grabbed Tara by the arm to pull the girl back. "She'll be in the office with me, that way you can actually pretend to get something done."

* * *

><p>"So," Gemma began once she was back in her office and settled behind her desk. Tara was roaming around the small space, ostensibly to study the pictures on the wall, but it was clear she was working her way over to the window that looked out over the garage. Fucking teenagers. "How does your dad feel about you and Jax being back together?"<p>

Tara jerked her shoulders. The mention of her father had tension creeping into her shoulders but all she had to do was glance over at Jax to have that tension melting away. He was standing with Clay, arms crossed over his chest and nodding along to whatever his step-father was saying. She wondered if he felt her watching him because he glanced up and gave her a smile that had her resisting the urge to fling herself into his arms.

"Does he know you and Jax are back together?"

Again Tara jerked her shoulders. "Probably."

"But you haven't talked about it."

"We haven't talked." Tara corrected. She and her father existed together now. She didn't want to talk to him and he didn't know how to talk to her. It was a reprieve. Things would get ugly again. But what they had now worked just well for her.

"I take that to mean he doesn't know Jax is spending nearly every night in your bed." When Tara turned, Gemma only smirked. "Thought I didn't know my son doesn't sleep in his own bed anymore. How long do you think that's going to last? That Ric's going to be okay not knowing what's going on with you?"

"You mean on top of the seven years he's already accumulated?"

Gemma realized the girl had a point there. Any active role Ric recently took in what Tara was doing was at her prodding. But she planted that seed in his mind and there was no way he'd go back to being okay with Jax and Tara. And once he found out they were actually having sex, there was no telling what he would do. "There's one aspect of your life you and I both know interest him. You and Jax aren't discreet, Ric's going to find out eventually."

Tara remained quiet.

"It's not going to get better, baby. Your father is nice now because he has a lot of guilt about what he did to you. But that guilt isn't going to last. And hitting you the first time is going to make it a hell of a lot easier for him to hit you again."

It was something Tara had been afraid of. Why she no longer had the courage to confront her father. And why her heart would race whenever she heard his footsteps outside her door. She was afraid he'd hit her again. Afraid of the feeling in her gut that told her it was only a matter of time until he did.

"I can have Clay talk to him-"

"No." Tara cut her off quickly. "I can handle it. There's no need for Clay or anyone from the club to get involved." She knew Piney had gone and knocked her father around after he'd seen her face. But Piney was different, her father would take the beating from Piney. If Clay or any one of the other guys from the club showed up, she didn't know what her father would do. If he was drunk enough or just in the wrong mood, he'd start swinging, and she shuddered to think what would happen to him then.

"He doesn't deserve your protection, sweetheart."

Probably not, Tara thought. But she gave it to him anyway.

"Locking yourself in that room is a temporary solution." She couldn't stop Jax from going to the girl, that much was clear. But if they were together once he started prospecting, there would be nights Jax wouldn't be able to get to Tara's house. "You still crash at Piney's?"

"No."

"Right," Gemma shook her head. "You don't need to with Jax around. Well, when you realize that being locked in your bedroom is no longer an option, come to the house." She knew Jax would rather have the girl there then with Opie. It wasn't that he didn't trust Opie, but he was a man. And when it came down to looking out for his girl, he'd want to do it himself. It was a tough pill to swallow, but Gemma realized she might as well get use to Tara. The looks Jax gave the girl where the same ones JT use to give her.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Gemma still saw the need to flee in the girl's eyes. Could see the restless energy banked and simmering beneath the girl's skin. But seeing the way she stuck by a man who so many would have given up on had Gemma thinking there was more to Tara than she realized. That maybe there was something in the girl that could stick, that it just had to be nourished. And Gemma felt that as long as Jax and Tara were going to be whatever they were, it was her job to nourish it.

* * *

><p>Their wires got crossed somewhere. Jax had gone to Eglee's to pick her up but according to MJ she'd been long gone by the time he got there. He worried that he fucked up and she had to walk home, but again it was MJ who told him she had the Cutlass. He was half-way to her house when she paged him, realized she was probably wondering where the hell he was. And because he was preoccupied with ways to make her understand that he hadn't forgotten her, but had misunderstood the plan, he went straight to her house. Knew that was a mistake when he saw her old man's bike in the drive.<p>

Avoiding a confrontation with her father had not been his plan. He'd actually been itching to come face to face with the bastard again. Ric might be able to kick his ass, but Jax had a way to put the son of bitch's balls in a vice. It was Tara who had him backing off, who gripped his T-shirt in her hands and begged him not to confront her father. She said things would just be better all around if they avoided him

"I don't want to have to choose." They were sitting in the middle of her bed, music loud enough to drown out the sound of her father banging drunkenly on the door. Jax had started to get up, wanting the asshole away from the door, not caring if he got his ass kicked in the process. But Tara had grabbed him, held tight to keep him from moving. "Please, Jax."

Something in him sank, gut twisting at the thought that she didn't love him near as much as he loved her. Making his voice bitter when he spoke. "Because you would choose him."

"Because he's my father and I _should_ choose him. But…"

She didn't have to finish. He didn't need her to finish. He heard the words that had something like shame flickering in her eyes. He wanted to tell her she had nothing to be ashamed of, but recognized that it wasn't something she wanted to hear. Wanted even more to take her in his arms, tell her how much he loved her, and how there was nothing wrong in choosing him. But that seemed wrong, too. "Alright."

"Thank you."

Her relief was palpable and he found himself pressing where he knew she didn't want him to. "The night he hit you…was he like this?"

Tara shook her head. "No. He was sober that night."

It made him realize there was never a safe time for her to be around her father. That the man was capable of violence regardless of if he was drunk or not. "What…what happened?"

"We were arguing. I tried to leave, so-"

"He hit you because you tried to leave?"

Jax could see that she was struggling, that she was trying to figure out how much of the truth to give him. He didn't push, though he wanted to.

"He hit me because he thought I was going to you."

Helpless to do otherwise, Jax took her face in her hands. Leaning in he did what he realized he should have done that night and brushed his lips over the place where her father hit her.

Even now it made Jax's blood boil to think about that night. To think about the way Tara flinched as her father beat on her door. And it made something swell inside him to see Ric step out of the house now. Because he kept his word, he had not confronted Ric, but it was clear the man had every intention of approaching him. And this time Jax was ready for him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

Swinging his leg from over the bike, Jax stuck his thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans. "I'm here to pick up Tara."

Ric's brow furrowed, confusion clear in his eyes. "What for? You guys have been over for weeks."

Jax shook his head. He may have been going out of his way to avoid a confrontation with Eric Knowles, but he and Tara made no secret of the fact that they were back together. Shit, during a party at the clubhouse-a party Jax knew for a fact Ric was at- they were practically laid out on the trunk of the Cutlass for all to see. Not to mention the wedding that they left together. Obviously the fucker had no clue what Tara was up to half the time. "I don't know who told you that, but it's not true."

The confusion on Ric's face turned to anger. Gone was the affable drunk, replaced with something mean and venomous. "Well it is now. I told you to stay away from her. I meant that, now get the fuck out of here."

"I saw you with Precious." There had been a number of ways he knew he could have played that. In his mind he'd drawn it out, tip toed around what he knew, toying with Ric until he got sick of the game. Having the man try to stand between him and Tara tossed that plan right out the window. "Last week in Lodi, coming out of the motel a couple days ago. Bobby know you're tapping his Old Lady." Jax knew he should have told Bobby the second he got back to Charming. In the club, in the brotherhood, that's what brothers did. But when it came down to Bobby's Old Lady or his own…well the choice had been easy. "I'm guessing he doesn't. Because if he did, you and I both know he'd cut your dick off and shove it down your throat."

Knowing the truth of what Jax said had all the color draining out of Ric's face. "You little shit."

"Touch Tara again, give her shit about us being together, and Bobby finds out about you and Precious." The grin that spread across Jax's lips was slow and completely satisfied. "It was good talking to you, Mr. Knowles." With a chuckle, he patted Tara's father on the shoulder before stepping around him to make his way to the front door.

* * *

><p>"Babe. Open up. It's me." The door opened seconds after he finished shouting over her music.<p>

"Believe it or not, I knew exactly who it was after 'babe'." Fortunately she already finished her shower, though she was still getting dressed. So when she opened her door she'd only just managed to pull on a pair of jeans. "But this is different. You coming to the door and not climbing through my window."

Stepping into the room, Jax eased an arm around her waist. "Just my way of keeping you on your toes."

"How'd you get by my dad?"

"He was on his way out as I was coming in." Jax simplified. He didn't think she needed to know exactly what he did. "I think he's gotten use to the idea of us being together." The incredulous look she gave him had a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Trust me, babe, everything's cool."

Tara wasn't sure about that. But chalked up her father's non-reaction to Jax being over to having an early buzz going. He could be extremely pleasant in the early stages of drunkenness. "Whatever you say. Give me a few minutes and I'll be ready to go."

Not bothering to release her, Jax reached back to slam her bedroom door close and flipped the lock. Dipping his head, he placed his tongue over the gentle slope of her breast and ran it up to her shoulder. "Change of plans." He walked her backwards until he could shove her back on the bed. "We're staying in tonight."


	24. Chapter 24

**I disclaim. I own nothing.**

**AN: So this is it, the end. I had so much fun writing this fic. I really want to thank everyone who reviewed and alerted this fic. A big thank you to everyone who stuck with me and this fic when it wasn't going well for our couple. It wasn't an easy ride and I just want to thank everyone for continuing to read.**

**A special thanks, as always, to Eve Levine. She was such a big help, especially with chapter 23, and great sounding board for this fic.**

**Epilogue**

Jax was not happy, which wasn't a state he was use to being in around Tara. They were so very far from where they'd been when this thing between them started up. Far from afraid of the way they felt about one another. Far from keeping things from one another, far from stepping lightly for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. They were solid. So solid she thought it was okay to go out with another guy.

"I'm not going out with another guy." Tara called as if she heard his thoughts. They'd grown so close Jax thought maybe she had.

This was all his fault, he could admit that even if it was only to himself. He'd been distracted which made him sloppy which got him caught. It never occurred to him that she'd get so pissed off though. Tara had come to see him at TM. Opie and Lowell had been the only other people working so Jax wasted no time getting her into the clubhouse apartment.

Before he could get her shirt off she started talking about some school dance that Hale invited her to. They didn't fight about it, as far as Jax had been concerned there was nothing to fight about. He told her he thought it was a bad idea and then proceeded to change the subject by slipping his hand into her jeans. She brought it up again after, while she was drifting off to sleep, so Jax decided to kiss her until her breathing became slow and deep.

When she woke up, and because it was Tara of course she didn't forget, she asked why he didn't trust her. She had asked while climbing out of bed in search of the pair of jeans he knew she wouldn't find. So he was able to enjoy the sight she made as she searched for them, all the while assuring her that it was Hale he didn't trust. Maybe it was wrong to act hurt, when he was actually furious, but he hadn't felt bad about it when she kissed him and told him she wouldn't go. Especially when she allowed him to tuck her body beneath his and slide between her legs again.

He planned on finding Hale and ramming his fist into that stupid gapped tooth smile. Asking another guy's Old Lady out was a bitch move if ever there was one and Jax fully intended on letting Hale know that. And because his thoughts were filled with beating the shit out of David Hale, he wasn't listening out for Tara. And because he wasn't listening out for her, he climbed on the bed and pulled her jeans out of the overhead compartment at the exact moment she stepped out of the bathroom.

It was Tara, so she almost immediately connected his actions to all the times he used her not being able to find her jeans as an excuse to pull her back into bed. Which more often than not resulted in her being late for work. He tried to explain, tried to tell her that it had never been his intention to make her late for work. That he was only hiding her jeans so he could spend more time with her. But Tara wasn't trying to hear it, had only stayed in the apartment long enough to dress and inform him that she'd be going to the dance with Hale.

Now here he was, propped up against her headboard and completely unhappy while she was in the bathroom preparing to go out with someone else. "I don't understand why you just have to go. You don't even like school dances."

"Well, I'm not going to prom so this is really the last dance I'll ever attend at Charming High."

Tara wasn't one for school dances, Jax definitely wasn't one for them especially considering he'd left in the middle of junior year. He knew, because Lowell told him, that Hale had offered to take Tara to the senior prom. Which had set Jax off until Lowell went on to explain that Tara let Hale know that even if she wanted to go to prom, she'd only go with Jax. Now he worried that maybe she did want to go and it was his aversion that was holding her up. "Why can't you go with Lowell or Candy?"

"They'll be there. And for the hundredth time, I'm not going with Hale. We're just riding in together."

Jax knew she couldn't be that blind. There was no way Hale was looking at this as just the two of them riding in together. The preppy fuck saw this as an opportunity. It was the same opportunity he himself seized two years ago at Opie's New Year's Eve party. She had shown up with Hale, had left with Hale, but as far as Jax was concerned that was the night she became his. "It's going to suck."

Pushing out of the bed he walked over to the closed bathroom door. It was cracked and it only took a nudge of his toe to have it creeping open. Tara was standing in front of the mirror in nothing but her bra and panties. Jax thought she was trying to kill him. "You're going to hate every minute of it and wish you'd just come to the clubhouse with me."

Eyeliner in hand, Tara cut her eyes toward Jax momentarily. "Or I'll enjoy being a high school senior for a few hours."

Again Jax's thoughts drifted back to the prom it never occurred to him to ask if she wanted to go to. He didn't regret dropping out, he wasn't stupid but the structure of school never appealed to him. And once he was done with school, he was done with all school related activities. He didn't really do the parties, the games, or any other activities with the kids his age. He'd be eighteen soon and he could feel in his bones that it meant he'd be getting his prospect kutte. So the only parties he attended were the ones at the clubhouse which meant, by extension, they were the only parties Tara attended.

Stepping into the bathroom, Jax ran a finger up the length of her spine. "Since when did you enjoy anything about high school?"

"There's only a few months left, figured I should start." She gave a smile he didn't even pretend to return. "Tell me you trust me."

"I trust you, Tara." And he did. There was no doubt in Jax's mind that Tara loved him, loved only him. More, he owed her the same trust she gave him. He knew she didn't like the women around the clubhouse, knew it made her uncomfortable when he was around croweaters he fooled around with before they got together. But she never demanded he not go, never gave him shit about being there without her. How could he not trust her the same way. "I do. It's just…fucking Hale, he wants you."

"What does it matter if I don't want him."

"I don't like him getting ideas. And you going out with him tonight, it's going to give him ideas."

"You know," Turning from the sink, Tara leaned into him, fingers twisting in his hoodie to pull him closer. "I don't think I've seen you this jealous since you convinced yourself Opie and I were fooling around."

Jax winced, he really hoped they could go the rest of their lives without ever talking about that again. "It's not really-" Whatever he was going to say was cut off when Tara pressed her mouth to his.

"I love you, too."

Jax sighed, all the fight going out of him. He found it completely unfair when she ended arguments that way.

* * *

><p>"Hey, bro. Where's Tara?"<p>

At the bar, Jax was facing out at the clubhouse nursing a beer. The party and the scantily clad women roaming around didn't interest him. He wanted Tara. Now, being apart from her for the past hour or more, he realized it didn't matter to him if they'd been at that fucking school dance or here at the clubhouse. He just wanted to be with her. Wanted her close, always close, at his side. It should have embarrassed him and maybe it would have if he wasn't so consumed with missing her. "She went to some dance at school."

Opie laughed. "Tara? At a school dance?"

With an indifferent jerk of his shoulders, Jax brought his beer up to his lips. He wondered if she was currently as miserable as he was. It barely even occurred to him that he was no longer concerned about Hale trying something with her. He couldn't stop thinking about the way she looked. About the skintight skirt she wore hiked up to mid-thigh, the sweatshirt with the cutout collar so that it hung temptingly off her shoulders. Fuck she'd been hot. Now she was away from him, only a few miles but it felt so much fucking farther. "Yeah. Some last hurrah bullshit."

However funny he thought the idea of Tara at a school dance was, Opie was finding it difficult to laugh at the way Jax was acting. If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought Tara had moved to Istanbul or something. Opie had been so sure that time would have Jax and Tara cooling off, becoming more comfortable in their relationship. They seemed to only be getting worse. "I thought prom was the last hurrah."

"She's not going to prom." But again he couldn't help but wonder if she wanted to. And worried that he was holding her back from doing something she wanted and in doing so was only pushing her away.

"Oh," Opie thought about hanging with Jax for a bit and maybe he would have, despite how depressing being around him currently was, if the little brunette he invited hadn't just walked in the door. He didn't worry that he was being a bad friend as he understood the only thing that could make Jax happy at the moment was Tara.

"Clay!"

The booming voice had Jax glancing up. It belonged to Quinn, recent president of the Sons of Anarchy Nomads. The guy was so fucking huge he made Piney seem small.

"My brother." Clay allowed himself to be pulled into a fierce hug. "It was good having you around the last few days."

"You guys need help and I'm here, brother." He crossed his arms, which Jax swore were the size of tree trunks, over a wide barrel chest. "Especially when helping SAMCRO comes with so many…" His eyes lit up, a shark like grin curling his lips when a practically topless croweater sauntered by. "Perks."

"Don't ever let it be said SAMCRO doesn't know how to treat it's guests." Wrapping an arm around Quinn's shoulder, Clay lead him to the bar. "See if you can do something with this guy, will you? Kick his ass if need be for bringing down your party."

"Kid," Quinn reached across the bar to grab a beer before sitting down next to Jax. "There is _way _too much pussy running around here for you to look this put out."

Jax gave a jerk of his shoulders. Though he could appreciate the women around the club, he wasn't interested.

"This have something to do with that tasty little treat I've seen you attached to the last couple of days."

It took a moment, his jaw automatically clenching at hearing Tara described that way, before he could answer. And when he spoke his voice was slow and controlled. "Tara. _My girl's _name is Tara."

Quinn flashed that shark like grin. "Tara. You tag her yet."

Jax felt his heart lurch. "I'm not patched, not even prospecting." But the thought of Tara with his crow, it had all his blood rushing south.

"Then you got a set of balls kid. Bringing something nice and fresh like that around here."

He didn't know why it wasn't until now, with Tara some place else, that he realized just how much she stood out. She didn't dress like a puritan. But as compared to the other women, Tara's tight jeans and tanks may as well been a habit. He was always so quick to find some dark corner to press her into that he never stopped to see if anyone else noticed her. Which apparently someone else had. "She's seventeen. Jailbait for anyone who isn't me." She was off limits to anyone who wasn't him.

"Ass like hers, the kind just begging to be bitten into, has guys hearing seventeen and thinking about eighteen being just around the corner." A redhead sauntered by, Quinn made no attempt to hide the fact that he was watching her, though he continued talking to Jax. "Until you tag her, I'd keep her away from this clubhouse if I were you, little brother. And until you can bring her around, find another woman, take her in the back, close your eyes and imagine she's that sweet little thing you got waiting on you."

* * *

><p>Tara left the dance. Was ready to go fifteen minutes after she walked in. Hadn't even realized just how disconnected she was from all of it until she was right in the middle of it. It wouldn't have been so bad if Jax had been there. Actually she knew she'd have been having fun if Jax had been there. She was missing him. As absolutely ridiculous as it was, she was missing him.<p>

They'd barely been apart an hour and the missing of him was like a physical thing. It wasn't like they hadn't spent time apart before. The hours she was in school or they were at work, but for some reason this felt different. She hated when he dropped out, hated that she wouldn't be able to see him during those hours of the day. But it wasn't so bad, not any harder then the time they couldn't see each other when their schedules had them working at the same time. She couldn't figure out why tonight was different, why being away from him the last few hours was so fucking hard.

When she left the dance Hale offered to drive her home, she waved him off by telling him she didn't want him to have to leave. Truth was she wasn't going home. When Tara left the gym it was with every intention of getting to Jax. It wasn't until she was a half a block away from the school that she realized walking was not the greatest idea- the heeled booties were just not conducive to walking, the skirt didn't help much either. By the time she started on block two she heard the rumble of the bike, which wasn't uncommon in Charming. But Tara knew without looking that it was Jax.

"What kind of an asshole lets a pretty thing like you walk alone at night?"

Just seeing him eased that something inside of her that felt off all night. It should have scared her, should have set off an alarm that something about all of this was wrong. But she was too happy to see him to be worried. "Cocky little biker prince. May have seen him riding around like he's the shit."

Jax grinned. "Guy sounds like a dick."

"No argument here." Playing the game out would have been fun, but Tara found herself walking the few steps toward his bike. "But he does have some uses."

When she stepped towards him it was on his mind to kiss her. When he left the clubhouse he wanted to get her somewhere alone so he could strip her naked. When she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, he wondered why he hadn't thought to do this first. This is what was missing. This was exactly what he was missing. "How was the dance?"

"Lacking." He laughed and she couldn't stop her lips from curling against his neck. "How was the party at the clubhouse?"

His arms tightened around her. "Severely lacking. I missed you."

She wanted to climb in front of him on the bike, to wrap her legs around his waist, keep her arms around his neck, and hold on while he took her for a ride. "I missed you, too."

Starting at her shoulder he ran his hand down the length of her back, cupping her ass to bring her just a little closer. When he had her like this, it didn't matter that Hale was clearly still trying to get with her. It didn't matter that fucking Quinn thought he could ride into town and have her. She was wrapped around him like her life depended on it and it was more than enough to quiet the noise that chased him out of the clubhouse. Well, most of the noise. "If I asked you to do something, would you?"

It was because she trusted him to never do anything that would hurt her. Because she trusted and loved him. Because he still held her like he needed her as much as she needed him, that Tara was able to answer without hesitation. "What do you want me to do?"

* * *

><p>"Are you going to stare at it all night?"<p>

"Yeah, probably."

He'd stripped her down practically the moment they stepped into her bedroom. Didn't even wait for her to step out of her skirt before dropping to his knees and turning her away from him. Eventually he finished undressing her, though his eyes remained on her back the entire time. Now she lay on her stomach, arms crossed under the pillow where she rested her head. Jax had kicked off his shoes but was still in his jeans and T-shirt. Every now and then he'd changed position though he never strayed far from her lower back.

When he asked her to do something for him, she didn't think it would be getting a tattoo. Though maybe she should have realized it as he asked her to get the crow the same way he asked her to go with him when he got the tribute to his father on his forearm. She hadn't understood what the crow meant, not really, though she'd seen Gemma's and knew it had something to do with the club. As Jax explained, Tara's mind supplied the words he tiptoed around, words like _tagged_ and _branded. _It didn't sit right with her. She didn't want to belong to the club. And she probably would have backed out if Jax didn't take his explanation further.

"Most Old Ladies get it where everyone can see." He had explained, then winced as if just remembering where his mother's crow was located. "But I don't want you to do that."

It confused her and though there was something in her that didn't like the thought of belonging to the club she found herself hurt that Jax wanted her to hide her tattoo. "Why?"

"Well, for one, I'm not suppose to have you get it until I'm patched." He admitted bashfully. "But that's just a formality. I'm already SAMCRO, all I need is the patch."

Something about the way he had said it, not the confidence but the hint of vulnerability. Like there was a part of him that was afraid that maybe they wouldn't patch him through, that had Tara bringing her hand up to his face so she could pull him in to a kiss.

"But…even if I was patched…I wouldn't want…" At this point he brought her palm up to his lips. "I don't want you to belong to the club, Tara. I want you to do this for me. Because you love me."

"So you want me to get it somewhere only for you." Tara finished. And suddenly the crow had a whole new appeal for her. "What about on my ankle?" It had seemed like a good idea. She didn't often wear shorts or skirts and she wouldn't have a problem keeping the tattoo covered until he was patched.

"That's an idea." She had still been standing between his legs at the time, her arms around his neck and his around her waist. So it was nothing for Jax to slip his hands under the hem of her sweatshirt. "But I was thinking maybe you could get it here." His fingers brushed lightly over the small of her back. "Please, Tara."

That had done it. She nodded and kissed him and was afraid of what all else he could talk her into with those words. When she pulled back he wore the largest grin, a grin that remained on his face as he drove them to the tattoo parlor. But as he sat beside her, one of his hands locked between hers as she straddled the chair, his other hand holding up her shirt because he balked at the idea of her being topless around anyone who wasn't him, there had been something else in his eyes.

His eyes had been so intense, almost as intense as they were when he was inside her. It near took her breath. And made her achy and needy in a way that did not seem wise given their location at the time. She thought Jax had felt it too, as she saw the heat in his eyes whenever they connected with hers.

Now, back in her bedroom, he had changed again. Gone was the nervous boy who wanted her to get a tattoo, so was her boyfriend that was so turned on his breathing had become thin and ragged. The boy beside her was almost reverent. He never stopped touching her. She could feel his fingers hovering over the still tender patch of skin, knew just how eager he was to run those fingers over it. Instead he ran his fingers up her spine, along her ribs. Had even pulled her panties half-way down her ass so that there was more skin available to him just below the tattoo.

"You know what this means, Tara?"

His head was resting in the middle of her back. She could feel his breath rolling down her spine, his fingers were absently brushing over the curve of her ass. It made her shiver, made her fist her hands in the pillow to keep from pushing her hips down into the bed. "What does it mean?"

Jax shifted again. Moving until his head was laying close to hers, throwing his leg across both of hers as his hand cupped her hips to pull her close. "It means we'll never be done."

That should have scared her, should have had her drawing back and regretting what she had done. But Tara only moved closer, lips curling as her mouth slanted over his. Because she liked what the ink on her back meant. Liked that she would be his. Always.


End file.
